What is self-sufficiency - how not to turn into an arrogant or loner

The article explains:

1. Concept of self-sufficiency
2. Types of self-sufficiency
3. Signs and qualities of a self-sufficient person
4. Causes of loss or deficiency of self-sufficiency
5. 10 rules for becoming a self-sufficient person

Many women would like to know how to become a self-sufficient person, not depend on anyone and live the way they want. You might think that there is no difficulty here: you just take it and do it. However, the root of the problem lies quite deep, and in order to solve it, it is necessary to understand what self-sufficiency is and what qualities ensure it.

Understanding what is needed does not guarantee that you will achieve the desired self-sufficiency. In our article we will tell you which woman is truly free and independent, and we will give rules that will help you become a strong personality.

What is self-sufficiency

Self-sufficiency in a broad sense means being able to get by on your own, organizing life without help, without interaction with other people. The definition implies that a person feels comfortable alone, is able to make decisions himself and take responsibility for them, and does not depend on the opinions of others.

There is no such thing as absolute self-sufficiency. One way or another, a person lives in society and is constantly in contact with other people: he uses the services of cellular operators, gets vaccinated at a clinic, rides a bus, and more.

Self-sufficiency is often equated with self-sufficiency and independence. Sometimes to narcissism, arrogance, selfishness. And sometimes to recluse and isolation. These are extremes or traits of manifestation.

Our site is about the optimal healthy expression of any quality, so we will figure out how to find the golden mean. And how to get the maximum benefit from self-sufficiency for yourself and others.

Relationships with people

Do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to be used. Everything you do from now on must be necessary for you first of all. Do you think this is selfishness? Not at all, who said that a person should live in order to satisfy other people's interests and thirsts? Everyone lives for themselves. In addition, you must learn to be independent both emotionally and financially. In addition, if you do not have time to work (small children), there are many options for income at home, if you wish. Forget about pride, and start, it eats you from the inside, not allowing you to build harmonious relationships with others. Always be prepared to compromise in disputes.

Learn to make decisions that are responsible for you with a cool head, from time to time haste and feelings are your worst enemy, remember this. You have the opportunity to listen to the advice of your family and friends, but you make the choice in solving this or that problem yourself. Under no circumstances should you blame anyone for your failures.

Self-sufficiency: is it good or bad?

In some sources, the meaning of the word self-sufficiency has a negative connotation, but it depends on how you look. From an environmental point of view, self-sufficiency is about internal balance. About the absence of hooks that others can cling to and manipulate.

Self-sufficiency is still close to the concepts of independence and responsibility. These are not synonyms, but characteristics of self-sufficiency.

Selfishness, egocentrism and self-sufficiency are not the same thing. If self-sufficiency goes to the extreme, then yes. Another extreme is to become so indoctrinated with the idea that you can handle it alone, and end up actually becoming lonely.

Much depends on the reasons for the formation of self-sufficiency:

• If self-sufficiency was formed from negative motives, it will most likely go to the extreme and will not bring any benefit. For example, a woman experienced a difficult breakup and decided that she was not able to trust people. Now she tries to rely only on herself, although people are happy to help, but out of fear and mistrust she tries to look self-sufficient. Or the teenager was controlled, and now he is doing his best to show that he is ready to handle everything on his own. Living with my parents and having fun with my last money. Where is self-sufficiency here?
• Healthy self-sufficiency develops through trust in the world and people. Through faith in yourself, in your strength. Through understanding your boundaries and rights. This means that I can do it myself, or I can ask for help, if they refuse me, it’s okay. I can make my own decisions, no one can influence it. And I realize that I will also be responsible. I feel great alone, but I also feel interesting and comfortable with other people. I can choose my own friends.

People who have developed self-sufficiency in a healthy way feel moments when they begin to go to extremes (egocentrism, a feeling of loneliness, arrogance, envy). And they adjust their behavior without any problems.

There is nothing wrong with self-sufficiency, as long as you don't go to extremes. The ability to be alone with yourself, the desire to develop, and take care of your health and body will only have a positive impact.

Below, using specific examples, you will see what self-sufficiency is like, when it is a plus and when it is a minus. Leave your examples in the comments, you probably know people who go to extremes.

The concept of a self-sufficient woman from psychologist Larisa Renard

There is a different opinion regarding a woman’s self-sufficiency. Psychologist Larisa Renard’s opinion on a self-sufficient woman:

This is "courage to be yourself"

My favorite thing confirms this fact. A woman is passionate about her work, she has her own interests in life, she devotes time to it. She has inspiration and good “girlish” excitement, lightness, and her own interest in life.

This is a “full and vibrant life”

Being completely absorbed in household chores, lessons with children, cooking and endless TV series, a woman will not have time for the most important thing in her life, this is personal growth. After some time, the man loses interest in her

Therefore, a self-sufficient woman, according to Marilyn Atkinson’s rule, spends only 12 hours with a man, and devotes the rest of the time to her own affairs.

This is a woman “groomed to the tips of her nails”

A common expression simply means a pleasant appearance, when there is a manicure, moderate makeup, good modern clothes, no frills, but men will not miss this woman, they will definitely pay attention to her. Usually, when you ask a man about such a woman, he answers “that she’s all in on everything.”

This is “wisdom and control over your emotions”

A self-sufficient woman, “everything in moderation”, she does not throw hysterics, but can solve any issue. She knows how to negotiate, explain, listen to other people’s opinions, but always do everything “well.” She has emotions, but with “beautiful emotions”, she is smart and has good humor. All her actions are clearly verified and precise.

This is a "high quality woman"

She will never settle for the worst, she wants quality relationships. She gives her love and care to a man, and does not demand anything in return. And at the same time, she doesn’t get too hung up on occupying “his entire living space,” she has her own. She attracts with her “harmony”, pleasantness, inner and outer beauty so that men themselves want to be close to her and simply make her happy.

Of course, she has flaws and weaknesses, but she takes it easy. And even loneliness does not make her unhappy; on the contrary, at this moment she is realizing some of her other ideas and plans. This is her lifestyle - don’t stand still!

Signs and qualities of a self-sufficient person

If we talk specifically about healthy manifestations, then a self-sufficient person:

• Doesn't take on other people's responsibilities, but also understands his own.
• Calmly makes decisions and takes responsibility for the consequences.
• Cannot be manipulated.
• Take care of your body and health.
• Has stable adequate self-esteem. Knows how to show boundaries and say “no”. She is not arrogant, she soberly assesses her capabilities. Stable emotional background.
• Be calm about solitude, calmly spend time alone with yourself, without trying to fill it with something.
• He knows how to talk, and most often calmly resolves conflicts.
• Realizes the need for personal space and time, his own and other people's.
• Doesn't try to change others.
• Bright personality.
• Low level of anxiety.
• Freedom from any addictions.
• This is a sign of growing up at a certain stage of development.

Qualities that a self-sufficient person possesses.

Self-sufficient people often attract interest with their individuality. Or they cause fear and anxiety among others, because they are difficult to control and there is nothing to cling to. The usual manipulations based on feelings of guilt, intimidation, etc. do not work with them.

What qualities do you have the most?

Self-sufficiency

76%

Not self-sufficiency

24%

Voted: 25

Women

Women's self-sufficiency lies in the ability to maintain balance.

• If a woman goes too far, she becomes rude, cold, focuses on her career, and sets many goals. Usually such a woman is lonely because she cannot give a man the warmth and care he expects. It is difficult for such a woman to establish close relationships and get along with people. This is not self-sufficiency.
• If self-sufficiency is lacking, a woman resembles an infantile child to whom everyone owes: money, attention, help. Left without help, such a woman will not be able to earn money or build healthy relationships. This is constant dependence on other people.

Healthy self-sufficiency, based on aspirations, interest and self-confidence, makes a woman a bright personality. She is interesting to others, open to possibilities, able to listen, making decisions herself.

A self-sufficient woman clearly understands her needs, she is able to find a creative approach to solving problems. She takes care of her body, health, beauty. He has his own hobby, which sometimes develops into his life’s work. He does it with love, through pleasure.

Self-sufficiency allows a woman to be harmonious in the family. More often, a woman’s priority shifts to caring for loved ones and the space around her. This is feminine nature; it is filled with resources through taking care of itself and loved ones. It is thanks to this resource that she is able to develop in her activities.

At the same time, the woman skillfully combines family and favorite activities. She doesn't resent having to do housework or other tasks. After all, if the household routine ceases to bring pleasure, she is able to admit it to herself, stop and rest. Then discuss the problem with your husband calmly and redistribute responsibilities, and not break down for no reason.

Men

A self-sufficient man is the ideal image of many women. After all, he is calm and confident, disciplined. He clearly understands what he wants. He is calm about basic duties: cooking, ironing clothes, keeping the house in order.

A self-sufficient man in a relationship with a woman takes responsibility only when he is really ready. If he offers to start a family, he is 100% ready for this and you can rely on him.

A man truly realizes himself as a man when he clearly knows his goals and values. This alone protects a man from the unsolicited opinions and advice of others and instills confidence in his own strength. This confidence is passed on to others.

A self-sufficient man will never choose a woman who is happy to quickly shift her forgotten problems onto him. A self-sufficient person does not shift responsibility himself and will not allow others to do this.

A psychologically mature man will not be manipulated. But you can count on a calm, detailed conversation. Such a man will not pull the blanket over himself, and will try to find the best solution.

A self-sufficient man always has money and perhaps his own business. And this is natural, because he clearly knows what he wants. The man is open to criticism, new ideas, he has a living brain.

Healthy self-sufficiency in a couple is positive. It does not give rise to codependency in relationships, it allows you to fuel interest, claims and “pulling the blanket” become less. But at the same time, excessive coldness and distance will negatively affect relationships.

Adviсe

1. It is necessary to constantly engage in self-development.
2. To increase your self-esteem, you need to take care of your appearance, get your figure back to normal, go to a stylist, buy new clothes.
3. Communicate more often with people who have achieved great success, minimize communication with losers.
4. Constantly develop in yourself such qualities as confidence, determination, cheerfulness, independence, independence, discipline, determination and willpower.
5. Praise yourself for all your achievements and believe in future successes.
6. Set clear goals and always achieve them.
7. Never boast of your victories to other people.
8. Treat others with respect.
9. Adequately assess your abilities and set goals that are achievable.
10. Learn to control your emotions, no matter what the circumstances.
11. If there are fears in life, learn to fight them, resist them.
12. If you have bad habits, overcome them and lead a healthy lifestyle.

As you can see, a confident, self-sufficient woman is not something supernatural and unattainable, it is a very real state that all representatives of the fair half of humanity can strive for. Everyone can become successful, the main thing is to make an effort for this, not to break under the weight of difficulties, to endure this path, and become a self-sufficient person, independent of anyone. Every woman deserves such a life!

Why self-sufficient people need to carefully change their lives

Self-sufficient people often have many rules and boundaries. They often feel comfortable alone, then everything is taken care of. The thought of sudden changes leads to panic, because it depends on the circumstances.

A self-sufficient person can make a good family man, but you need to approach changes carefully. Gradually, calmly discuss everything and lay out conditional rules. When a person gets used to changes, they will become part of his self-sufficiency.

The advantage of a self-sufficient person is that such a person can soberly assess the situation around him, understand what is good for him and what is bad. He is not against restructuring his usual way of life. Often he cannot adapt quickly, but he is ready for many changes. Without disputes, scandals, trials. But simply through the understanding that it is useful and necessary.