How to develop charisma: who is a charismatic

Charisma, charm, charm

A charming person is a person who has magnetic power. He, like a magnet, attracts people to himself, inspiring them with admiration, trust and charming with inner strength and self-confidence. Charming people stand out from the crowd and, as a rule, become leaders or managers. (True, for various reasons, not all leaders are charming and worthy of respect.)

Nowadays, internal and external charm are often called one word - “charisma”. This word is of Greek origin and means “gift of God” or “grace of God.” This suggests that charm and charisma are character traits that people are born with. Indeed, many famous charismatic personalities did not study “to be a leader” - this quality was inherent in them by nature itself.

Obviously, everyone would like to become charming, even those who do not dream of leadership.

What is charisma

Wikipedia says that charisma is a special talent, the exclusivity of a person in an intellectual, spiritual, or some other respect, the ability to appeal to hearts.

Let us add on our own that charisma is a state of presence in the place where you are currently located. Let's look at this in more detail.

"Presence State"

Olivia Caban, who is the author of the book "Charisma Myth", gives a fairly easy way - being completely present in the location. It consists of attentive and sincere interest when listening to the interlocutor. By showing him such respect, you will be considered a charismatic person. At least for now.

This method is quite difficult to implement. A rather difficult task is to sincerely empathize with the interlocutor and listen carefully. This is one of the first barriers separating ordinary people from their charismatic opponents.

One of the interesting American studies has proven that we often think about subjects that are not related to events occurring at a given time. And the only activity that has completely taken over us is sex. Thus, by learning to concentrate on being with your interlocutor exactly “here and now”, you will be able to stand out from the rest of the crowd. And, people will immediately feel your attention and sincere interest in them.

Read more: How to develop charisma: 7 tips

Confidence in yourself and your abilities

Develop the habit of going to the end. Even if everyone around you says that you are wrong. You can start with physical activity and do what you have been meaning to do for a long time - run a marathon, swim in an ice hole, jump with a parachute. The achieved goal will give confidence, which, in turn, will be reflected in behavior and the ability to make important decisions in other areas - at work and in personal life.

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Characteristics of charismatics

Charisma is characterized by a certain giftedness, the possession of specific psycho-emotional properties that allow one to influence people, lead and lead them.

Some people don’t even think about the fact that they have this property. They go through life with a smile, make many friends, and overcome obstacles. For them this is ordinary life. Only from the outside can one note that this or that person has amazing charisma.

There are few such people, and they are all different from each other. Some people have better developed charisma, others still have to work on improving it. But we can definitely note that such quality has never hurt anyone. If a person is charismatic, then his life becomes brighter and more fun.

Charismatics are leaders

You can put an “=” sign between these two concepts and not be mistaken. Influential leaders always have charisma. It is these individuals who are assigned the main roles in the processes of changing the destinies of entire peoples and countries. Their names remain forever etched in history books. These include Stalin, Churchill, Mahatma Gandhi, Hitler.

However, the presence of charisma is inherent not only to world leaders or spiritual leaders. Its presence is also noted in ordinary individuals who have not performed any special actions.

Charismatics influence people

For the most part, people with strong charisma influence other people to a greater extent. For example, they follow their advice, they are shown more respect and love. Such people can rightly be called lucky, since, being social creatures, the place they occupy in society has a huge impact on a person’s fate.

For the most part, people consider charisma to be an innate talent, like eye color, that cannot be intentionally acquired by other people. However, according to a number of recent studies, it is known that charisma can be learned.

Charismatics are always in the spotlight

Probably everyone is familiar with a charismatic person who, even without performing any actions, remains the center of attention. You can envy such people.

It seems that these are innate qualities and there is no chance of becoming such a lucky person. How can charisma be defined? Peculiar facial features? Temper? Magical attraction? There is no exact answer, however, from the first seconds of communication you can distinguish a person with strong charisma from the average one.

Read more: How to become a charismatic person

How to develop charisma in a woman

As is the case with men, girls primarily attract with their seductiveness, energy, and ability to communicate. You are probably familiar with situations when a seemingly very attractive girl turned out to be completely uninteresting or unpleasant in a conversation, and another person with nothing outstanding in appearance attracted the attention of the entire male audience.

Let's find out how a woman can become more charismatic:

There are several types of charisma. The female half is more characterized by soft types of charisma - inspiring and benevolent. This is the ability to encourage, motivate, and win over so that the interlocutor feels safe and can open up. Show more participation and sensitivity, be tactful and patient.
Charismatic = self-confidence. Choose clothes that make you feel stylish and comfortable. Show yourself love, accept your flaws, feel that you are unique and have the right to be happy.
Remember the golden mean. Being sexy and charming does not mean being vulgar. Being able to defend your opinion does not mean interrupting or disrespecting the feelings of your interlocutor. Being self-confident does not mean remaining arrogant and keeping a stone face, feeling superior to others.
Attractive, charismatic girls are, first of all, positive, sincere, with self-esteem. They are attentive to their social circle, can say a decisive “no” in time, and always focus on their own desires.
Improve your communication skills. Learn to maintain any conversation, use beautiful figures of speech, tell funny stories, talk about serious and exciting things.

I recommend reading our article on how to become charming.

Why is charisma needed?

The main feature of charismatic individuals is the ability to influence other people in a way that will bring them pleasure.

Such traits will be very useful when doing business or at work. Confirmation of such words does not require evidence or facts; it is enough to remember your personal attitude towards such a charismatic acquaintance in order to understand the truth.

We quite often argue that having money is one of the main qualities. However, there are situations in which getting to know people necessary for certain purposes becomes a priority. In this case, charisma is precisely the valuable property thanks to which you can gain the necessary connections.

People are not born charismatic...

...- they become.

This is quite easy to verify. Remember, at least your charismatic friend. Communicating with him much more than once a week, one can note that his charismatic traits do not manifest themselves all the time. It is simply unrealistic to remain charismatic all 24 hours a day, since this will take a colossal amount of effort.

Thus, Bruce Avolio gives a huge number of examples in his book “Leadership Development in Balance”. One of these examples is Marilyn Monroe, chic, easily recognizable in public, but when traveling on the subway for the sake of experiment, she simply went unnoticed. What's the matter?

Painstaking work on yourself

Some fairly famous people have been working on themselves for a long time to join the ranks of charismatic personalities.

An example is Steve Jobs, who for a long time could not make public appearances because his speeches were unconvincing, and the reports themselves made him yawn and get bored. After a long time spent in training, he successfully developed charismatic skills and became a clear example for those who want to learn how to speak in front of an audience.

Useful books

I have prepared for you a selection of useful books about charisma and how to become a charismatic person:

Olivia Fox Cabane “Charisma. How to influence, convince and inspire” (LitRes);
Radislav Gandapas “Leader’s Charisma” (LitRes);
Allan and Barbara Pease “Charisma. The Art of Successful Communication” (LitRes);
Andrew Lay “Charisma. The art of making a strong and unforgettable impression” (Labyrinth, liters);
Kevin Murray “Charisma of a leader. How to motivate your team to succeed” (Labyrinth, liters);
Patrick King “Charisma. How to build rapport, please people and make an unforgettable impression” (Labyrinth, liters);
Georgy Serebryakov “Charisma. Influence without pressure” (LitRes);
Alisa Levopetrovskaya “Charisma. From a gray mouse to a bright bun” (liters);
Catherine Stothart How to Get Along with Everyone. Confidence and charisma in communicating with any type of personality” (LitRes);
Charlie Hoopert “The Art of Charisma” (Labyrinth).

Qualities of charismatic people

To achieve this, a charismatic personality must have the following qualities:

Desire to help
Warmth and sufficient strength of character and spirit

People who combine strength and kindness in their character are automatically perceived as positive individuals. As a rule, we try to stick close to such people.

The important point is the combination of such qualities. But a person who has only power and influence may be an impressive person, but not at all charismatic.

Example

A rather interesting story proving this fact happened to a British newspaper journalist in the 19th century. She had the chance to meet personally with a couple of candidates for the high office of Prime Minister, namely Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone. At the same time, both candidates were considered to be quite influential, highly educated and strong personalities.

However, after having lunch with them, the journalist had a definite opinion on this matter:

After dining with Mr. Gladstone, she began to perceive this contender as the smartest man in the country.
And after meeting Mr. Disraeli, she began to perceive herself as the smartest in England.

Therefore, there is nothing surprising in Mr. Disraeli's further winning the election.

Eloquence

Charismatic people know how to express themselves competently and intelligently, so start mastering oratory skills. Of course, in the current conditions it’s difficult to take offline courses, but there are special exercises that will help you put a syllable correctly (and you can practice them at home), as well as full-fledged online courses (for example, this or this). In eloquence, an important role is played not only by the content of the message itself, but also by intonation, eye contact with the interlocutor, and the ability to correctly use body language (for example, the well-known rule is not to cross your arms). These are all pure habits. The more attention you pay to this, the faster you can achieve your goal.

What stops you from being charismatic?

Some reasons that prevent you from being charismatic:

Feeling of discomfort

The occurrence of a physical or moral feeling of discomfort can instantly knock you out of your usual rut.

For example, it is quite difficult to show sincere interest in a person in the event of a feeling of discomfort from wearing a scratchy sweater, which has successfully turned you into a single itchy creature.

Stiffness

Less problematic situations, such as a feeling of hunger or stiffness when communicating with completely new people, can also prevent the full manifestation of charismatic qualities.

Human behavioral researcher Professor Pentland recommends the following three methods for dealing with discomfort:

Preventing the occurrence of such cases;
Recognizing their appearance;
Explanation of the sensations that appeared.

Preventing an uncomfortable situation involves creating or planning the most comfortable conditions for yourself. Recognition is defined as an understanding of the discomfort of the situation that has arisen, and the inability to pay due attention to your interlocutor. And, an explanation involves notifying your opponent about the problems you have encountered and your attempts to solve them.

Another great option that allows you to safely get out of an uncomfortable situation is the ability to adequately perceive the situation, and not create a tragedy out of it.

Millions of people have had the experience of meeting new faces and may have felt awkward in the presence of others in the same way. The very realization that your current situation is far from unique and that it can be easily overcome can save you from unnecessary manifestations of shame and discomfort, which is especially important. Because, no matter how hard you try, the feeling of modesty will not allow your charisma to manifest itself in full force. It is necessary to remember that all situations that arise in your life represent an absolutely normal and typical phenomenon for people. Moreover, the reactions caused in this case are caused directly by evolution, and therefore by survival mechanisms.