Girls can be confused by the situation when their new acquaintance on the Internet shows an active interest in them and constantly writes, but does not offer to meet. There may be some reasons for this behavior. Let's look at why a man writes every day but doesn't ask for a date - the most common explanations.
Reason 1: He's not physically attracted to you.
Your appearance type does not correspond to his ideals. Perhaps he likes tall blondes, and you are a short brunette. He continues to communicate with you because you are an interesting conversationalist or a good friend. But he doesn't consider you as a girl.
You can patiently wait for his opinion of you to change or try to change your appearance to suit his ideals. But often waiting or changing is useless. Look around you, other guys will find you attractive both physically and spiritually.
Article on the topic: why guys don’t pay attention to me.
Reason 2. There is another (wife)
When a guy is in a relationship for a long time, he periodically experiences apathy. He begins to look for new feelings and vivid sensations on the side. At the same time, he values the status of his relationship and is not going to break up with his wife or girlfriend. Virtual dating remains that way for him.
Decide for yourself whether it’s worth wasting your time on an unpromising gentleman. Are you interested in communicating? Communicate, but don't expect anything serious from him.
How to hint to a guy about a relationship
If you really like a young man, take the initiative by taking a step towards him.
When communicating by correspondence, mention the showing of a new film in the cinema or a concert of your favorite band. Offer to go with you.
If the guy asks why you are making him such an offer, explain that you have known each other for a long time, so you can easily spend time together. Don’t be upset if your interlocutor categorically refuses, but also stop communicating closely. Most likely, the young man is not in the mood for a serious relationship.
Show the man that you are interested in him, but don’t even think about chasing him. Flirt with your chosen one. Write that you are extremely pleased to communicate with him. Unobtrusively ask if he has an object of sympathy, if he is ready for a serious relationship. Ask what kind of girls he likes, what character traits appeal to him. Hint that you like the young man's humor, actions and appearance.
To get a guy to ask you out, make him believe in his own importance and necessity:
- share with your chosen one a good mood and events that happened in your own life;
- ask how he spent his day;
- discuss hobbies, aspirations and endeavors;
- show your willingness to provide support in difficult times;
- Boost a shy guy's self-esteem by telling him how much you respect his opinion and listen to his advice.
If you think communicating with hints is a waste of time, since the young man doesn’t get it, be brave and ask if you can apply for the role of his potential girlfriend. If you are afraid of getting rejected and not being able to cope with your own feelings, clarify the situation by correspondence.
Reason 3. He has financial problems
A man, when inviting a girl on a date, wants to be on top.
If at this moment in his life his “finances are singing romances,” then it’s easier for him not to invite you anywhere than to find himself in an awkward position and ask you to pay for dinner, a movie or a concert. You should not insist on meetings and say that his financial situation is not so important to you. Even a simple walk down the street is fraught with unnecessary expenses (buying a drink or ice cream, riding a carousel, eating at least some pies from a tent). The man will feel awkward, so it's better to just wait.
Call and text more often. He himself will call you somewhere when he solves the problems.
He is financially insolvent
Real men, when they start dating a girl, take responsibility for her. Therefore, the guy you like may not ask you to date because of his financial problems. Maybe he's paying off a car loan, is in debt, or is looking for a job that will allow him to get a girlfriend. The guy believes that he will need to invest financially in the girl: take her on dates, buy gifts, pay for a joint vacation, etc. A serious relationship also involves subsequent joint renting of housing and the purchase of household appliances. Therefore, a man without money may not decide to enter into a serious relationship until his financial problems are resolved positively. There's not much you can do here. After all, you will not help him with money and pay for your trips to cafes and cinemas, so we are looking for a candidate who has no problems with money.
Reason 5: Thinks he's not worthy of you
If he really has low self-esteem, then try to influence it. Give compliments, praise, and talk about his achievements more often. Then unobtrusively invite him to meet.
Often the phrase “I’m not worthy of you” is a reason to end the relationship, since he doesn’t really like you. If this is the case, then accept it and move on.
You might be interested in the article: How to meet a guy on the Internet.
Reason 6. He may be choosing from several girls.
The guy actively meets and communicates with many girls. You are just one of many. You haven't interested him enough yet. Perhaps later he will condescend to offer you a walk.
Don't try to shame him, blame him, or sort things out. Chat with other men, enjoy their attention. Spend more time on friends and hobbies.
Reason 7. He is still moving on from his past relationship.
Relationships full of quarrels, mutual reproaches and eternal determination of who is right and who is wrong often discourage people from entering into them at all. A man can write to you every day, but not consider you as a future companion.
If he said that he recently broke up with his girlfriend, you shouldn’t ask him out. The guy needs time to get his emotional state in order.
The best way is to rely on time. He will let you know when he is ready for a new relationship.
How to avoid rejection and get a guy to ask you out
First of all, don't forget to take care of yourself. When meeting, a girl should always look neat, but not vulgar. Watch your own manners: excessive freedom or rudeness is a deterrent.
When thinking about the question of how to get a guy to date you, remember that the guy next to the girl should feel sympathy and attraction, and not discomfort or shame. Compliment him and be sure to control your emotions.
Don't throw tantrums or sulk over trifles. Young people prefer girls who are nice, polite and balanced.
Don't force yourself on the guy. Often the decision to move to the next level of a relationship is not easy. If the young man does not immediately respond to the offer to date, give him time to think and accept the situation. There is no need to pester your chosen one with calls and messages - this way you risk running into refusal or rudeness. You can inquire about the decision of your chosen one if he has disappeared for a long time.
It often happens that sympathy for a guy appears from the first minutes of communication. However, do not rush to immediately voice an offer to meet. Give him time to get used to your company. Observe his behavior and your own feelings. It is quite possible that the first emotions will subside, and you will decide to remain friends.
Jealousy can be a good motivator if you don't go too far.
Light flirting with other members of the opposite sex is allowed. However, you shouldn't hang out with several guys at the same time. The chosen one will certainly find out about this and classify you as a flighty person, which is fraught with refusal.
You can force a guy to date only when he sincerely likes you. Observe his attitude towards other representatives of the fair sex. Pay attention to whether there is tenderness in his eyes when communicating with you, whether parting is difficult for him, whether he shows care towards you. A young man may refuse to date if he does not see the chosen one in the girl.
Reason 8. He likes to play with you
Doesn't he make an appointment for no apparent reason? Perhaps he likes to intrigue, evoke strong emotions in you, make you worry and nervous.
Try to take a break and not communicate with him for a while. When he does call you for a meeting, be prepared that in real life he will not be as exciting and alluring as during virtual communication.
It might be interesting: how to understand that a guy likes you by correspondence.
What do we have 10
To summarize, we can say that any actions on the part of men related to avoiding meetings are based on various reasons. They are largely determined by the character and upbringing of a man. Attitude towards women also plays an important role. Sometimes the girls themselves are to blame, but this is not the main reason, but a secondary one. The woman avoids meetings
Questions about why this happens often excite the minds of women, and men themselves too. Sometimes some actions are performed on emotions, without the intervention of the brain. men avoid meetings for various reasons, maybe they are trying to overcharge, maybe they are disappointed in the girl, or maybe the man really doesn’t have free time. Further, specifically about each guess in more detail.
Reason 10. He just wants to be friends
The man honestly admitted that he wants to be your friend.
He does not consider you as his beloved. You have to make a choice - step aside and accept the status of your relationship or continue to pursue it. If you chose the second, then do the following:
- Try to get to know him better.
- Don't miss the chance to take care or help him.
- Look for common ground.
- Don't miss the opportunity to spend time together.
- Flirt, but don't be too clingy.
- Compliment him, praise him, notice his even small successes and achievements.
- Get yourself in order, appear before him fully armed.
- When communicating, demonstrate ease and wit.
- Be also prepared for the fact that these attempts will not be successful.
Reason 11. The guy is just a homebody
A guy may not invite you anywhere simply because he likes to stay at home. In this situation, it’s worth finding out whether he doesn’t want to go out with you or doesn’t want to go out at all?
You will find out the reasons why men don't write
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In the first case, you should leave him alone and switch to a new gentleman. In the second case, try the following:
- Arrange with him in advance about going somewhere. He will have time to mentally collect himself and tune in.
- Offer him a compromise, something like “we spend time during the week as we want, and on the weekend we go out to dinner somewhere, to the cinema or to the skating rink.”
- Try to offer something that will be interesting to both of you.
- Don't put pressure on a guy if he doesn't want to go somewhere with you. Invite a friend to accompany you.
- Remember that you can have a great time at home too.
He is married
Or he has a girlfriend with whom he has no plans to break up anytime soon. Are you surprised why he went on dates with you and there was intimacy between you? It’s not surprising, you just might have come across a man for whom fidelity doesn’t really matter. You may not even know that he is busy. His marital status may not be indicated on social networks, he introduced you to friends, spent all his free time with you (or rather, you thought that the rest of the time he was busy with work or other things). His status was revealed after you had feelings and, as luck would have it, you just started planning a bright future with him. For this reason, you need to try to find out the real status of your chosen one as early as possible, so that later you don’t have to break off the connection after the whole truth is revealed. You should not get involved with a man who already has a personal life, but you need to look for someone who is as free as you.
Question answer
A guy writes but doesn't ask for a second date?
Possible reasons why a guy is in no hurry to invite you on a second date:
- He did not feel mutual attraction, “chemistry,” but he does not dare to say this honestly.
- I decided that I was not ready for a relationship yet.
- He met another girl and “keeps” you as a backup option.
- On the first date, you talked a lot about your exes, which turned the guy off.
- She was too intrusive, tried to find out every little detail, perhaps focused attention on issues of a material nature.
- You did not demonstrate sufficient interest (you were distracted by your phone, reluctant to answer questions, looking around).
How to hint him to ask him out on a date?
If the guy shows indecisiveness, then hint to him that you don’t mind meeting:
- Show him that you are interested in him.
- Flirt subtly.
- Ask him questions about his interests.
- Use common interests to your advantage. For example, tell him that your favorite band will be coming to town soon, and it would be great to go to a concert together.
- Tell him about your plans. For example, that you want to go for coffee or that you are thinking about organizing friendly get-togethers next weekend.
- Complain that you have nothing to do this weekend.
- Tell her that a friend suddenly got sick and tickets to a great movie are missing.
I invited him to a cafe, but he didn’t say anything?
Wait a little, maybe he can’t answer you right now. If there is no answer, then accept his silent refusal with dignity. Turn your attention to someone else.
He thinks you're not right for him
For some reason, the object of your love does not see you as the girl with whom he wants to connect his life. And men will rarely date a woman in whom they do not see a future wife. Maybe he is looking for a girl who looks like his mother, or he has a certain image of a lady in his head that you don’t match - it doesn’t matter, you don’t need to think about what’s wrong, he still won’t be there for you. A man may also deep down want you to change and then he will deign to ask you to date. Here you need to decide whether this subject is worthy of you changing yourself to please him or whether it is better to look for someone with whom you will be completely satisfied. There are many answers to the question: “Why doesn’t a guy offer to date?”, and what exactly in your case prevents him from having a serious relationship can only be understood by him. Don't waste your time on this person and look for someone who wants to be with you, no matter what!
Men's opinions
I conducted a survey among men I know, and this is what they said:
“You don’t need to look for a special occasion, the right time or a magic pill. If I like a girl, I usually take it and offer her to go somewhere. Simple and clear."
Arseny, 28 years old
“Empty correspondence is of no use. Either we go on a date or we stop communicating. I value my time too highly."
Ruslan, 23 years old
“I don’t mind at all if the girl invites me for a walk.”
Sergey, 30 years old
“If you like a girl, the guy will always ask her out. Everything else is excuses and attempts to justify oneself.”
Evgeniy, 27 years old
Mama's boy 9
There are some men who are “mama’s boys” who consider their mother to be the feminine ideal. In the case when a girl does something differently than his mother does, then this is a fiasco. The girl will fall in the eyes of the man and lose his interest. Such men almost immediately disappear without words and a trace. You shouldn't even run after them. As an adult, you need to understand that all people are not perfect.
