Respect in the family between spouses

Respect in the family between spouses is the basis for building a long and happy relationship. But unfortunately, many men and women forget about this, which ultimately leads to big problems in marriage. Respect can mean different things to different people. Therefore, what one person considers quite normal, another may perceive it as a sign of disrespect. Therefore, you should discuss these points with your spouse in advance. Moreover, do not forget to adhere to certain rules in relationships that create respect in the family between spouses.

Show care and attention

One way to treat your spouse with respect is to take an interest in his mood, well-being, and overall affairs. At night, we often have strange dreams or nightmares that greatly affect our mood. Therefore, in the morning, be sure to ask your loved one how he slept. As a result, you will show that you care about him. Plus, this is an easy way to gain respect from your partner. Even a simple phrase, “Good morning dear, how did you sleep?” will be a good way to start the day and show you care.

Why is respect so necessary?

It is difficult to imagine a happy couple in which both partners or one of them would treat each other without respect. Of course, often the problem of domestic citizens is that they are supposed to respect strangers by default, but as for our own people, everything is different here. It seems that we can behave more relaxedly with a family member or loved one, and often we needlessly offend those people whom, on the contrary, we should treat with greater respect and understanding.

Honoring in a couple helps partners feel comfortable in communication. Without this component, it is impossible to imagine successful interaction between close people. And not only between loved ones. In any communication, mutual respect is the key to achieving communication goals. It is the key to a complete exchange of information. If there is no respect for the partner, there can be no question of building equal communication.

In any area of human interaction - be it, for example, business or education - respect is part of communication etiquette. It represents the basis on which the actual goals of this communication are subsequently achieved. For example, in business this could be the conclusion of a mutually beneficial partnership. In teaching, it is the transfer of certain knowledge or skills from the teacher to the student.

Be true to each other

Loyalty - thanks to it, respect is shown in the family between spouses. When you remain faithful to each other, even after many years of being together. When you understand that you can trust your spouse in any situation, and he will never betray you. As a result, respect develops naturally in such relationships. On the other hand, when you cheat or cheat on your partner, you end up disrespecting them and the relationship is doomed to fail. And if you are unhappy with your marriage. It's best to have an honest conversation with your spouse and try to figure out how you can overcome your differences and improve your relationship. Or maybe it would be better for you to break up altogether.

At the very beginning of the relationship

Remember the main thing - if initially you don’t see any merit in a guy and don’t understand why you can respect him, then it’s better not to even start messing with him. No amount of money and his pretty face will evoke that same feeling of pride in him.

The merits may be small:

He is charismatic and charming. He is interesting to listen to, he is friendly with a sense of humor and is generally a sociable guy.
He achieves a lot in life on his own. Yes, he’s not an oligarch, but he achieves everything with his own mind and work, without putting it on someone else’s shoulders.
He's talented. He may not yet be a recognized genius, but you see in him such enormous potential that you rarely see in others.
He's reliable. Knows how to listen and understand. You can easily trust him with everything - both moral and material - he will never betray.

He may not be so beautiful in appearance, and he doesn’t have a lot of money in his wallet, but you know that for you he is real gold.

Let your friends and family twist your head, pointing at its flaws - you don’t care about it. And rightly so.

But there is a nuance here too. The main thing is that his merits do not cover up other qualities that run counter to his merits. For example:

He is a charming, cheerful fellow, but at the same time an incorrigible reveler and womanizer, who does not miss more than one skirt. There is no soul in it.
He achieves everything in life on his own, but at the same time he condemns and humiliates people who do not succeed, he is too arrogant.
He's talented, yes. But such an impossible whiner that it’s sickening to be around him when he sobs over his failures like a capricious child.

But if there are no such harmful qualities, then you will definitely respect such a person.

It often happens that his main advantage can cover your complexes and shortcomings with its opposite:

You are a modest, silent person, and you need such a charmer to make you laugh in life and entertain guests at receptions.
You are completely indecisive, and your man can guide you in the right direction, since he knows this direction for you.
You are absent-minded and absurd, you always find yourself in stupid situations, but the reliability and resourcefulness of your lover often saves you.

Just never have to put up with anything. If you are annoyed by some kind of fad in him that you can’t get out of him, then maybe it’s best to break up? If you think that you will “endure and fall in love,” then you are wrong.

You may be interested in: What a man cannot forgive

Consider his feelings

For example, if you are late for dinner and refuse to explain the reason for your lateness. Or you have some life problems and difficulties, and without explaining anything, you simply say that it is none of his business. As a result, your partner will, of course, feel disadvantaged, because he is worried about you. Therefore, be sure to consider your loved one's feelings and share everything that is happening in your life. If you have any problems, definitely tell your spouse about them, don’t keep anything secret. Refusal to communicate or silence will not lead to anything good.

What leads to disrespect between partners

If your relationship lacks respect for each other, start changing your behavior today. The tips listed below will help you with this.

Respect your partner's wishes and needs

Each of us has a need for something: rest, tasty food, silence, education. Before the relationship with you, your loved one fulfilled his desires whenever possible and was happy, and you behaved in the same way. A joint relationship can be called harmonious if each partner has the opportunity to live the way he likes.

You should not evaluate your partner’s needs from the perspective of right/wrong, good/bad, useful/not useful. Your partner will feel happy and relaxed around you if their needs are met. Avoid harsh criticism of your loved one's wishes: it may seem to him that you do not accept him for who he is.

Let's take an example: a man tells a woman that he is tired at work and wants to sleep after dinner. The woman expected that in the evening they would do general cleaning together. On the one hand, no one canceled household chores. On the other hand, a man should rest. You should come to a compromise, not nag the man for not keeping his promise, but agree to do the cleaning after bedtime or reschedule it for another day.

Respect your partner's individuality

You should remember about the personality, character, temperament, everyday habits and skills of your partner. There are no ideal people, so you need to appreciate the strengths and be more lenient towards the shortcomings of your loved one. Some men are great at fixing broken equipment, but are completely helpless at cooking.

There are women who do not know how to keep order in the house, but at the same time spoil their loved one with a delicious dinner every day. If you know your partner's shortcomings, then try not to focus on them at every opportunity. On the contrary, you should help him unobtrusively if you have the appropriate skills.

Respect the feelings, emotions and experiences of your loved one

It is very important that in a marriage there is trust between partners, so that each of them can express what has accumulated in their souls and not be afraid of being misunderstood. Create a warm, trusting environment, support and encourage each other more often.

Respect your partner's hobbies

He doesn't have to give up his favorite activity just because you don't like it. Interests and hobbies are a very important part of your partner's personality. In a favorite activity, a person finds inspiration, achieves success, and takes a break from the worries of life.

If your partner's hobby causes you inconvenience, interferes with your everyday life, or takes up too much time and money, try to calmly discuss this issue. Don't criticize, talk about the activity disrespectfully, don't make fun of it, don't call it useless or old-fashioned.

Respect your partner's values

We are talking about moral, ethical, religious and aesthetic issues. This is the foundation on which the character of your loved one is based. Surely you know stories about “husband’s friends.” For example, when during a romantic dinner a man was driving to a neighboring town to repair a friend’s car.

You may not like this behavior, but look at the situation from the other side. Your man is very kind, reliable and responsible, you can trust him and rely on him in a difficult situation. These reasons are enough to accept his desire to help his friends.

Respect and support your loved one's plans

If your partner shares his dreams and desires with you, it means he trusts you. It would be too rude and disrespectful if you criticized or laughed at his life plans. We don’t always realize our plans, but we really appreciate the support from a loved one in any situation.

For example, a woman can tell a man that she has dreamed of getting a tattoo all her life. If a man does not support such an idea, he should not allow himself rude assessments or criticism. It would be right if he correctly expressed his opinion and told what he himself had dreamed about all his life.

Respect your partner's friends and buddies

A person is connected with some people by many years of communication, respect, a feeling of gratitude, and shared experiences in the past. Some men believe that you cannot choose between a woman and your friends, and in this they are right. If you don't like your partner's friends, let him spend time with them himself, and at this time you can meet with your friends. Refrain from harsh criticism of people in your partner's social circle, even if they behave incorrectly.

Let him independently evaluate their behavior. You can express dissatisfaction only if your partner spends more time with friends than with you, or if your friends lead a socially unacceptable lifestyle (for example, when they drink excessively in a group).

Respect your partner's tastes and preferences

Every time we criticize what our partner likes, we are breaking the spiritual connection with him with our own hands. The things your partner loves express his personality, his entire inner world. Showing your dissatisfaction with your partner's clothing style or favorite music is unlikely to change his preferences.

Let him be the way he wants. Don’t assert yourself at the expense of your loved one, don’t let him lose his individuality, don’t ruin his mood. It is important to allow him to independently make the choice that he considers correct and necessary.

Respect your partner's time and trust

If you agree on something, be sure to keep your promise: do not be late for a meeting, do not refuse the obligations you have undertaken. Never say that your partner is wasting time on any activity. He doesn't think at all that his time is wasted, and your words may offend him. Respect your partner's secrets. You should not wash dirty linen in public. Do not tell your relatives or friends about family conflicts or that you don’t like your loved one. Quarrels will soon end with reconciliation, and your partner will again become the best person in the world for you.

But the opinion that will form about him in the eyes of others will be forever spoiled because of your revelations. Never complain about your partner to his relatives: no matter how badly he behaves, for his mother and father he will remain a beloved son, and their attitude towards you will not change for the better. Also, many women like to discuss with their friends the everyday habits of their marriage partner or his fears and weaknesses, which is completely unacceptable for a happy relationship. Imagine how unpleasant it will be for your partner to learn about his secrets from mutual friends.

Don't humiliate your partner in front of others

You can express appropriate criticism when you are alone with your partner. But if there are other people nearby, then of course it will look completely inappropriate. Moreover, your spouse will feel extremely awkward. Therefore, never criticize or ridicule your loved one's abilities or character in public.

If you want to treat him with respect, you must refrain from such behavior. Better extol his virtues to other people. And talk only about its positive aspects. It is this behavior that expresses respect in the family between spouses. Therefore, do not under any circumstances reveal his weaknesses to other people.

Acceptance of feelings and experiences

We all have different reserves of vital energy, different levels of stress tolerance, different value systems and many more mental differences. If a person is worried about something, it means that it is truly important to him, even if in your eyes this “something” looks stupid and trivial. Do not devalue the experiences of another, do not ridicule feelings and do not forbid experiencing emotions. This is especially important if you not only witnessed an emotional reaction, but the person purposefully shared something with you. Appreciate it.

Avoid stubbornness and persistence

Tenacity and perseverance are indeed useful personality traits, but not in romantic relationships. When someone in a family begins to insist on their own all the time, show persistence and refuse to compromise, then as a result, such behavior will develop into conflicts, and can completely destroy the marriage. A man and woman who are married must hear and understand each other. They need to try in every possible way to avoid disagreements and serious conflicts. Any misunderstandings that arise should be discussed in a calm atmosphere. Respect in the family between spouses is built on understanding and support. In this case, the union will be long and strong.

The timeliness of proceedings on the topic “Do you respect me?”

If for some reason your confidence in your partner’s respect has wavered, you should not immediately “swoop” into your loved one from the doorway or ask troubling questions. Choosing the right time to discuss such issues is extremely important because it decides the outcome of the conversation. A woman does not need to ask her lover what exactly caused the relationship to deteriorate when the man came home from work and was tired. If we are talking about difficulties with a wife or girlfriend, then representatives of the stronger sex should also not torment their lovers with unnecessary questions when they are not feeling well, are spending time with a friend, or are busy preparing for tomorrow’s test with their child.

If there is little snow, there will be no harvest: December 16 is Ivan the Silent Day

Smooth and fresh skin: dermaplaning, or why a woman needs to shave her face

A Brazilian travels 36 km by bike every day to take his loved one home.

Express gratitude

Be grateful to your spouse for what he does for you. Let this even manifest itself in some ordinary little things, such as a cooked breakfast, a fueled car, or help in the kitchen. Be grateful that he is next to you, and you have been together for so many years in joy and sorrow. Tell him words of love and gratitude more often. Be grateful for his efforts and moral support. He will definitely notice your respectful attitude and reciprocate your feelings.

Acceptance of a person's needs and desires

To separate them or not to separate them, to help in satisfaction or not is another question. The key is to accept the fact that your partner has personal needs and desires. What does it mean? For example, accept the fact that your partner is not obliged to spend all his time with you, report to you about his every step and do only what both of you like (even worse, only you). And this also means that you cannot call his needs stupid, strange, etc.

The same goes for accepting a person’s interests and tastes. If you have already decided to be with this person, then do not oppress him for something that you do not understand or cannot accept. For example, a person likes to collect candy wrappers. How does this bother you? The same applies to any desires, hobbies and interests (of course, if they do not go to pathological extremes).

Well, if something infuriates you so much that you really don’t have the strength, then leave. But don’t try to change or crush someone.

Don't forget about self-esteem

It can be extremely difficult to build respect in a family if the person does not have self-esteem. You must love and value yourself as a person. You need to work on yourself and your self-sufficiency. If you are not happy with something about yourself, then either work on this area and improve yourself, or accept your shortcomings and live calmly. There is no need to criticize yourself and blame yourself for something. Love yourself for who you are and be yourself. This way you will command respect in the eyes of others, and of course, in your family.

Acceptance of personality traits

It’s strange, but despite the progress of society and the popularization of psychology, there are still people who are confident that they can change someone else. Finally forget about it. Each person has their own advantages and disadvantages. And every person is ready to put up with some shortcomings and categorically does not accept other features. Determine for yourself what you can accept in a person and what you cannot.

I repeat: if your partner annoys you with something, then leave, and do not insult him. Pay special attention to studying the innate characteristics of a person. For example, there is no point in demanding bright compliments and joyful squeals from a phlegmatic person about a new dress. But you cannot demand fast work from a melancholic person, and in general you cannot put pressure on him or push him.

Don't be afraid to sort things out

Saying what you don't like, while also being sure to listen to your partner's wishes, is essential to building a successful marriage. In addition, many psychologists even recommend that men and women occasionally have small quarrels so that they can throw out their negative emotions. There is no need to keep all the accumulated negativity, grievances, problems, and so on. They should be expressed naturally. When you tell your spouse what you don’t like, listen to his wishes, and come to a certain compromise, as a result you will begin to respect each other more and get rid of misunderstandings in the relationship.

How to express your dissatisfaction and avoid a quarrel

You definitely need to talk about everything that doesn’t suit you in a relationship; all unacceptable moments need to be discussed. But you need to do it correctly:

Be as correct and restrained as possible, choose your words carefully so as not to offend your partner.
Refrain from crying, screaming, or manipulating your partner’s opinion.
Talk only about the current situation and do not bring up past grievances.
Avoid using the phrases “you always...” or “you never...”
Talk about yourself, your emotions and feelings. Use so-called “I-messages”. For example, instead of “you pay little attention to me,” you should say: “I feel lonely.” This way your speech will not sound like a guilty verdict. In addition, such phrases help the speaker take a fresh look at the situation and understand his true feelings.
If the conversation has turned in such a way that your partner expects an immediate answer from you, do not make a decision quickly. You may change your mind after a while, so in a difficult situation you can say: “I need time to think about it.”
Don't be overly persistent. Sometimes it seems that if you repeat your opinion 3, 5, 7 more times, your partner will definitely appreciate your idea and act as you would like. If you haven't found a compromise, put off the conversation for a few days. If your partner does not change his mind, you should not insist.

Mutual respect is the basis for a strong union between a man and a woman. People don't change over the years, so it's important to accept your loved one for who they are. Disrespect for your partner destroys his sense of self-worth, and with it, your love for each other.

Did you like the article? Share with friends:

Give compliments

Express love for your spouse through words and actions. Do it sincerely and from a pure heart. Any union is built on love, respect and trust. This is the basis of romantic and family relationships. Therefore, be sure to show affection, tenderness and kindness. See each other as unique individuals. Some spouses have the habit of comparing their partner to other people, but this is a huge mistake that humiliates your loved one, lowers his self-esteem, and negatively affects your union. If you want to treat your spouse with respect, then you must see him as a unique person with unique qualities. When you treat him or her as a special person, you will naturally show respect as a result.

Do you think you treat your spouse with respect?

Subscribe to our Telegram Did you like the article? Share on social media networks or leave a comment!

ShareTweet

General recommendations for household members

To preserve love and prevent misunderstandings in family relationships, it is important to jointly create the right atmosphere in the home. People living in the same territory have to put up with the bad habits of other cohabitants. In an attempt to achieve mutual understanding accompanied by respect, regardless of the rank of the couple - a long-term marriage union or a budding family, adhere to the following recommendations:

Don’t be afraid to sort things out, preferring constructive dialogues to uncontrolled aggression. Psychologists advise married couples to have reasonable quarrels, explaining the need for conflicts as an opportunity to throw out negative energy and get rid of negative thoughts. After a meaningful conversation, spouses have a chance to take their marriage to a new level by jointly solving pressing problems.
Self-esteem is an integral part of a person’s personality, so pay special attention to self-esteem. People around you will not take your opinion into account if you are not confident in your own abilities. Only by cultivating self-sufficiency within can you count on respect from your household.
To save a relationship, you need to learn to put up with the bad habits of other family members. Do not forget that before marriage you were raised and lived in different conditions, so living together in the same territory will be accompanied at first by a number of misunderstandings. In the current situation, it is important to come to your senses in time and find compromise solutions that suit all household members.
Appreciate the work and efforts of loved ones by expressing gratitude with a kind word or an unexpected surprise. The man tirelessly earns money for the family, the woman looks after the household and keeps the house clean, and the child diligently learns the school curriculum - each person plays his own role, which is accompanied by characteristic difficulties. The efforts of all family members must be respected.
Sincere compliments and encouragement are powerful arguments in winning the favor of household members. By building a relationship model based on affection and care, it is easier to avoid conflict situations and eliminate the risk of accumulating grievances in the soul.

Relationships with a child are a separate component of the family institution, in which respect must always be present. With the right upbringing model, parents present their child with an example of respectful behavior in society. The child's subconscious projects communication between adults onto his own life, so psychologists do not recommend swearing in a raised voice in front of the offspring, stooping to insults. Parents must become authorities for the child, whose opinions must be taken into account. In the current situation, it is important to be guided by the general model of education, periodically encouraging the preferences and wishes of the child. In an attempt to earn the respect of your son or daughter, you should not deprive them of their childhood by regularly criticizing and punishing them. The main thing is to stop being nervous and adhere to common views that unite family members into one whole.

Examples of treating others with respect.

The word “respect” is not often used by Christians. But reflections on respect, acceptance, hospitality, rules of decency, and the ability to take into account the interests of a husband/wife are much more common in Christian texts. The most peaceful religion, Buddhism, says something like this: “A society without respect for elders, without caring for women, children, and spiritual people, is doomed to suffering.”

Respect for everything is brought up from childhood by the personal example of parents. A child will learn to care about the interests of others if parents:

They politely greet, say goodbye, and thank anyone who provided a service or helped.
They apologize for the mistakes they have made.
Remain calm in an argument.
They hold the door behind them.
They keep other people's secrets.
They ask permission to take other people's things.
They knock before children and parents enter the room.
Maintain cleanliness in nature and public places.
Respect the personal space and boundaries of another person, regardless of age.
They help others if they really can help.
They respectfully speak about other people's opinions, views, and preferences.
They defend their rights in a mannered manner, without aggression.
Do not interrupt to express your point of view.
By actions and words they show respect for parents, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and strangers.

Imaginary lack of respect or real

It is important to distinguish a real loss of respect from false beliefs. Quite often, a man can show indifference or aggression simply because he is tired or has problems at work that he does not want to talk about. And sometimes women are not particularly in a hurry to demonstrate the attention and sensitivity expected from them if they have any difficulties in their professional life. So the perceived disrespect may be due to ordinary workload or stress. Therefore, you shouldn’t act out of your hand and interrogate your lover with bias. First you need to find out what the reasons for this behavior are and reduce them to a minimum.