When the feeling of inspired love and passion has subsided, two loving people are faced with the task of keeping the relationship in good shape in order to avoid an unbearable routine. Many couples and families, having lived together for several years, simply forget to pay each other the necessary attention due to everyday worries and affairs. But this can have an impact on the relationship; the partner loses confidence that he is loved. Of course, stability and calm are a solid foundation on which you build your life together. But when it turns into nothing more than mutual care, every loving person wants to add bright colors to the gray everyday life.
Bottom line
It’s amazing what connects two possibly so different and at the same time so similar people? What keeps them together throughout their lives in moments of victories and defeats? What makes us stay when there is an opportunity to leave? Only you can answer these questions for yourself and make your own choices every time. A happy relationship is not luck that fell from the sky, it is the result of your hard work together in the name of harmony and the opportunity to create your own ideal world. Take care of each other!
How to bring romance into a relationship: 9 proven ways
What to do if the flair of first love has dissipated, and everyday life and routine absorb the relationship? How to enjoy relationships and each other, and not get annoyed over trifles and quarrel over trifles? How to create a relationship filled with bright moments and joy, rather than problems and conflicts? In this article I will share my personal experiences and ideas on this topic.
Naturally, relationships go through various stages of development: downturns, upswings, distances, rapprochements and even crises. The longevity of the union depends on the couple’s ability to survive difficult times, and crises are sometimes beneficial and become stimulants for the further development of relations. If in the first stages you don’t need to make any special efforts to “maintain romance” (everything develops by itself, feelings are overwhelming and you want to “move mountains” for the sake of your loved one), then then the “passions” subside and life returns to a calm channel. The “work-home-work” mode turns on, and everyday life, routine, and monotony appear in relationships. Many couples at this stage begin to accuse each other of lack of attention (such as “You don’t pay attention to me,” “You don’t give me flowers,” “You don’t talk to me much”) - adding missing emotions by sorting things out. Such claims are harbingers of larger arguments and clear signals that one of the spouses is dissatisfied with the relationship. Therefore, it is important to hear each other and solve problems in their infancy, which in the future could have devastating consequences for the relationship, the beginning of a crisis or even the end. When you see a storm coming, drop everything and get ready for it. And preparing for family crises is simple - a deep, honest conversation and always a pinch of romance. We’ll talk about the first one next time, but today we’ll discuss how to regularly fill relationships with romance, so as not only to prevent another crisis, but also to create wonderful relationships.
What is romance in a relationship, essentially?
Romance is the desire and ability to pay attention to each other, surprise your loved one and fill the relationship with pleasant emotions. Creating romance is the ability to bring unusual sensations into everyday life and create interesting events.
I’ll tell you below how to do this in practice.
So, 9 ways to bring romance into a relationship:
1. Give each other unexpected surprises and real gifts ! Very often, couples stop giving each other gifts, and instead, even for birthdays, they buy “something necessary and useful for the home” or completely neglect it. Yes, of course, each couple chooses their own option and follows the established model. But, believe me, if you risk breaking the established order of things and present a surprise to your loved one, he will be happy to receive a gift (especially if this is something he has long dreamed of! By the way, do you know what your partner dreams of?) And that’s it. not even in the gift itself and not in its cost, but in guessing a person’s deepest desires and surprising him with an unexpected surprise (I shared gift ideas for my husband here). When choosing a gift, you will, of course, rack your brain, but pay attention to your loved one, remember (or study even more thoroughly) his preferences, interests and tastes - in general, invest your time, energy and desire to please into this gift. And with such an attitude, any gift will become special - for both of you!
Agree: in fact, each of us “has everything” (this is the most common excuse for why we don’t give gifts to each other), except for one thing – unexpected amenities. Therefore, do not deny your loved one this luxury, which anyone can organize.
2 . Gratitude to each other is very important in a relationship - after all, both men and women want to feel important and know that their contribution to the relationship is valued by their partner. It is important to express gratitude not only every day with the traditional “thank you,” but it can also be done in a romantic way. For example, write a letter to your loved one, listing all his merits and “contributions” to the relationship, write a poem, hang sheets of compliments throughout the apartment, put a note in his pocket or a postcard in his bag/briefcase. The task is to say “thank you” to a person for everything he does for you, for his merits, attitude towards you, or simply for being there. If you find it difficult to think of what to thank a person for, remember your life before meeting him and the brightest moments of your history; mentally list everything he does for you and what problems he solves; analyze how your life has changed after your meeting and what positive aspects have been added to it. There is always something to thank a loved one for - maybe for a gentle look and a reverent attitude, a strong shoulder and reliability, for the moments experienced together, for forbearance and patience, for support in difficult situations, for delicious dinners or help around the house.
3. “Romantic Fridays” is a weekly habit of spending every Friday together and devoting this time to each other. On a romantic Friday, you can go to the cinema, to a restaurant, cook a special dinner (for example, your husband’s favorite dish), get a massage, take a bath by candlelight, etc. – it all depends on your imagination and preferences. The point is to spend this time together - ideally go on a romantic date (I wrote about ideas for such dates here). Who should ask on dates? If you decide to practice the idea of “romantic Fridays”, try to agree to invite each other one by one: this way everyone will take an active part and have the opportunity to bring their ideas to life. The second question for married couples: what about children? Feel free to involve grandmothers, godparents, girlfriends, acquaintances in this matter - I think they will only be happy to babysit the child! Or agree with other married couples to alternately sit with the children (first they with yours, then vice versa) - I think they will also be happy with this opportunity to be alone when it’s your turn to sit with the children. By the way, there is also the option of all kinds of “children’s and sections”, where children, under supervision, do something useful - both the child feels good and you will have the opportunity to spend time together.
4. Don't forget to celebrate your anniversaries : the day you met, first date, honeymoon or marriage. Many couples neglect to celebrate these days, or simply forget, but such holidays greatly strengthen relationships. You can celebrate such dates by going to a restaurant, going for a walk together, having a special dinner at home by candlelight, exchanging gifts or cards. It is important to fill this day with special attention to each other, remember “how it was” and plunge into the memories of the magical moments of your history.
5. By the way, about your joint history - it is clear that every couple has it, but they treat it differently: someone knows it by heart, “from” to “before”, while others do not consider it important and necessary. Remembering your love story is important because it can nourish a relationship and support it when it's going through tough times. And, of course, it deserves to be recorded. Write down your story in a special “Book of Love” or “Relationship Album” - call it what you want, but the point is to collect all the information about your relationship in one place. These could be photographs, recordings, your song, postcards, funny stories or funny incidents from your relationship. In general, collect in one place everything that makes your relationship unique and inimitable. Show your imagination in the design of your album - let it be made in one style (perhaps it will be something associated with you - in the style of travel, in certain colors, in the “Disco” style, etc.), and on The cover has an interesting inscription with your photos. I’ll give you a couple more ideas for such a Book of Love:
- make a map with a “route of love” . This could be a map of your city, country, or world (depending on the circumstances of your story). On it you need to note, for example, the place where you met, your first date, the place where your husband proposed, where you got married, etc. Later you can walk through these places and plunge into memories.
- write a “chronology of your love” . Write down all the important dates and milestones for your relationship in chronological order - for example, meeting, first meeting, first date, proposal, wedding, honeymoon, etc. Such a chronology can be drawn up in the form of a chronicle or an ancient manuscript and placed at the beginning of the Book as a kind of table of contents or table of contents.
6. Traveling just as a couple is a great way to remember your honeymoon, be alone, enjoy the holidays and each other away from everyday worries. Surely, each of you has places you dream of visiting. Combine your dreams and choose a place to travel together, set a goal to take such a trip in the coming year, or surprise your loved one for his birthday. By the way, you can also arrange a mini-trip for the weekend - out of town, to a neighboring town, to the mountains or to the sea.
7. Joint “going out”. Maybe this point slightly repeats the previous ones, but I made it separately, because for most women it is very important to “go out somewhere together.” A “social outing”, going to a cultural event or party, theatre, ballet, cinema, dinner at a restaurant, is a reason not only to “walk in dresses” and put on special makeup, but also a great way to get new impressions and topics for communication.
8 . Joint leisure and active recreation (sports, hobbies). It’s great if you decide to learn something together: master some sport together or go to psychological training. You have common hobbies, right? So, the task is to remember them (maybe directly write them down separately) and develop them. It could be anything: Argentine tango, right-brain drawing, kayaking, hiking, skiing, playing chess or playing the guitar, football, fishing, swimming or tennis. In general, it all depends on your interests and imagination - but rest assured that such joint activities will bring you very close.
9. Separation, separate friends and separate holidays. No, this point does not contradict the previous one. When all methods have been tried, this is the only one left. Every person has a natural right to personal space and the need to be alone. So in this sense, friends, trips and separate holidays are also personal space. “To let go or not to let go” is, of course, a matter of trust and such a litmus test for healthy relationships, in principle. But we are talking about healthy relationships now, so separation in them (not too long, of course) is normal and even necessary, at least in order to miss each other, perhaps re-evaluate something and once again remember why you - made the decision to be with this person.
The whole trick is to be conscious of the rapprochement and distance - after all, these are natural processes in relationships that already occur, and if desired, they can be used for good. Oddly enough, separation in the right doses brings us closer together. If you are together around the clock or don’t see each other for years, problems in the relationship are inevitable. Therefore, the ideal option is to find your own balance of spending time together and spending time apart, which will give you the opportunity to miss each other, but at the same time not move too far away from each other and not lose the thread of your special relationship.
Go, for example, to visit your parents or friends, and from afar, write a romantic letter to your loved one and send it by mail. Such separations bring people closer together, and meetings after them bring a surge of feelings and, perhaps, a new stage in the relationship.
As one of my friends said: “Relationships are work. And if you don’t work on them, you won’t get anything from them.” And I would also add: the quality of a relationship is directly proportional to the amount of effort put into it. It is impossible to get something without investing anything.
Therefore, if you want an amazing, wonderful relationship, regularly take certain steps along this path.
What are your favorite ways to bring romance into a relationship? Share your most romantic relationship moment! For example, I really remember a date with my husband on the roof of a high-rise building, where, to the clink of glasses of champagne, we watched the lights of the night metropolis... It was unforgettable and very romantic!
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What types of love are there?
Thanks to ancient Greek thinkers, today we can talk about the following types and manifestations of love:
- Sensual love
(“eros”). ... - Love
is a game (“ludus”). ... - Obsessive love
, “morbid passion”, obsession (“mania”). ... - Practical love
(“pragma”). ... - Love
is friendship (“philia”). ... - Love
is tenderness, family
love
(“storge”).
Relationships happen when a person waits for them
Already in kindergarten, boys and girls begin to become friends, and sometimes their friendship is very similar to romance.
They constantly hold hands, look at each other with loving eyes. They always play together. And this happens because they know from their parents, educators, and from cartoons: over time, every person has a closest friend or girlfriend. And the little man begins to subconsciously wait for this meeting.
As people get older, this expectation becomes more pronounced. The phrase “I want to fall in love” very accurately reflects this state. And therefore, a person begins to perceive every day as another chance to find his “soul mate.”
How to spend a romantic evening with a girl?
Unusual solutions for a romantic evening
Invite a girl
admire the stars or say you want to make a surprise. Set the table on the roof. There is absolutely no need to include a lot of dishes, just good wine and a light snack. The evening will be decorated with candles and quiet music.
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How to clean grease from wooden kitchen furniture? How to clean grease from wooden furniture? How to clean wooden furniture? How to clean a wooden surface from grease? How to clean wood from grease in the kitchen? How to clean a duralumin frying pan from carbon deposits? How to clean an aluminum frying pan? How to clean the bottom of an enamel pan? How to clean the bottom of a frying pan from carbon deposits on the outside? How to clean the bottom of a frying pan from carbon deposits?
Why is it difficult for a man to show emotions?
A boy is told from childhood that he must be strong and courageous. The social purpose of a man is to provide and protect his family. Showing sentimental feelings is unacceptable.
As a result, a man grows up successful, confident, but does not know how to show emotions. He believes that tenderness makes him vulnerable and weak. Sensuality is allowed only in sexual games.
A man’s misconception that tenderness is weakness prevents him from building a romantic relationship. Attachment is regarded as a loss of freedom and causes a feeling of concern. The girl believes that she has come across a soulless guy.
Parental attitudes are not the only reason for refusing to show affection. Often these are psychological problems, the result of past experiences:
- unsuccessful relationship with an ex - the woman’s behavior and words lowered her self-esteem;
- tender feelings did not receive a response - the girl did not support, she laughed at the confession;
- If you haven’t found a soul mate, you don’t see the point in opening up.
If a guy has stopped sharing his experiences with a girl and avoids tenderness, it means that he does not find the proper response when communicating with her.
FAQ
The following are answers to questions related to the topic of romantic relationships and romance in general.
How can a man become romantic?
Just! Please read the section “How to Save a Romantic Relationship.” There we showed 7 important components. If a man cultivates each of the above as a personality trait, he will become truly romantic.
What is the difference between romance and romanticism?
Romanticism as a term is usually used to designate an artistic movement in the culture of Europe and America in the period from the end of the 18th century to the first half of the 19th century. We talked about what romance is. There is nothing in common between the concepts.
What is unique about Russian romanticism?
Russian romanticism is, first of all, historical optimism and hope for overcoming contradictions. This is the pathos of love of freedom, the fight against the imperfections of the world order, the absence of skepticism and pessimism. This is sacrifice and compassion. The same can be said about any Russian person who is a romantic.
How to add romance to a long distance relationship?
Please read the section “How to Save a Romantic Relationship.” There are 7 useful points, after reading which you will immediately understand everything.
What is anti-romance?
This is maximalism combined with cynicism, denial of romantic principles in relationships, some hatred towards everything that is characteristic of unions between men and women, where romance dominates.
Can romance give a second wind to a relationship?
Yes. And even a third. How? We showed this in the section “How to bring romance back into a relationship.” We recommend you read it.
How to cultivate romance in yourself?
We have already shown that romantics are, first of all, optimists, idealists, dreamers, who see, find and appreciate beauty and aesthetics even in imperfect phenomena and things, objects and subjects. By cultivating these qualities in yourself, you can become a full-fledged romantic.
