I remember it was supposed to be a normal wedding of normal people. The bride is a musician with Tatar roots, the groom is a human rights activist with slightly fat roots, but overall everything is decent. As a result, the tent looks like a circus, and the flamenco dancer came already on fumes and just looks bad. The wedding has a vague oriental slant, so for the second hour one howl is replacing another, and even the newlyweds don’t know who needs to be killed in order to finally set the funk. Closer to the morning, the Veuve Clicquot magnum will explode, and the groom will become allergic - apparently to everything at once.
Wedding for others
A wedding has always been a difficult task. But before no one had even a shadow of doubt about its necessity. Grooms all over the world voluntarily underwent various unpleasant trials: they went on a hike, did not eat or drink for several days before the wedding. Be glad that the most difficult test is now choosing cufflinks. However, today many couples find it difficult to formulate the meaning of going to the registry office. Therefore, relatives and married friends take on the explanatory work. You roll your eyes at first, of course, but after a while you roll up in celebration. There may be two reasons. The first is quite understandable: you just want someone to finally leave you behind. The second is irrational: one cannot underestimate the influence of the magical formulas “it’s the way it’s supposed to be” and “how to look people in the eye.”
In the post-Soviet era, a wedding is a meme and an epic in one bucket. It is rare if it is organized the way the newlyweds want. Even if you call a supposedly normal host, there is always a chance that the program will include an unexpected competition and in the end everyone will have to drink a mixture of whiskey, champagne and beer from a giant burning glass. And keep in mind: no matter how advanced the party is, at some point the DJ will have to turn off the Japanese techno and “play something normal.” And it’s good if the group “Mushrooms” turns out to be “normal” for a cousin from Tyumen.
Why can't a girl get married?
The reasons why a woman cannot get married are conventionally divided by psychologists into two main groups :
- Inflated self-esteem and too high demands on the chosen one. The image of an awesome bitch is only good in photos on social networks. In fact, a woman who is too smart, too bright, too beautiful, too cool becomes too unclaimed. In addition, the image of standardization may be contrived by its owner. But claims from the series “you owe me only because I’m so cool next to you” are quite real.
- Low self-esteem and willingness to marry anyone, just not to be left alone. Even the most intelligent and beautiful woman, who does not consider herself such, scares off men with a bunch of complexes.
They try and praise, but don’t get married.
The ability to get married is essentially not much different from the ability to sell a product. Showing yourself from your advantage and hiding your shortcomings for the time being are the skills of a successful manager in trading. But popular wisdom says that it is not enough to know your worth; you also need to find a buyer.
Michael
49 years old, teacher
Have you seen the film “Courier”? This is roughly about my acquaintance with my first wife. Her parents were dissatisfied with me to such an extent that immediately after graduation they pushed the topic of a wedding in order to somehow ennoble our relationship. The bride wanted to quickly become an adult and dress. I wanted them to leave me alone. Consensus! Of course, the wedding became a demonstration performance of the mother-in-law and father-in-law - people “with opportunities”. I felt like a loser, but I guess I was, since my wedding was at the expense of the bride’s parents.
Now my son lives in London, married to a Chinese woman. While discussing the wedding, they wondered whose family would be more offended. The girl has terribly traditional parents: the fact that her son-in-law is white is enough for them. As a result, the guys quietly signed their names during the lunch break - and they did the right thing. The ex-wife is still upset that the children “didn’t have a holiday.”
Factors influencing the need for marriage
Often young people are interested in the question “why get married, what dictates this need in the life of every man?”
Social factors - the need to create a unit of society and one’s close circle, the birth of offspring.
Physiological - people get married to have a permanent partner for intimacy. It is important to trust the person with whom you spend all your nights.
Material - often the desire to start a family is dictated by the inability to provide for oneself independently. Together it is much easier to save up for real estate, go on a trip, and raise children.
Sergey
28 years old, marketer
I quite consciously decided to get married, but I didn’t think that the wedding would go so wrong. The choice of ring was already painful: all the options were either petty or too expensive. I acted beyond my means - then it turned out that my wife and mother found out the cost and condemned my gypsy scope.
A week before, a slight panic began: where did I even get in? Against her background, I had a normal party at the bachelor party. At the party, to put it mildly, I was late and arrived straight to the registry office - washed, but completely disassembled. While I was hanging out, my poor fiancée was nervous that I had run away and started drinking sparkling wine early in the morning. At the registry office, Masha was already drunk, and the ceremonial glass from the receptionist finished her off (but it revived me). The witness noticed our torment and offered a path to cheerfulness - in vain they refused. In short, everything was so strange that it was even funny. It would be wiser to spend all the money on a honeymoon - then it would definitely last a month, and not six days.
Access to the intensive care unit and to information about the patient’s health
Until recently, it was almost impossible to gain access to intensive care legally.
But in 2022, they adopted the Federal Law of May 29, 2022 No. 119-FZ “On Amendments to Articles 14 and 79 of the Federal Law “On the Fundamentals of Protecting the Health of Citizens in the Russian Federation,” which obliges medical institutions to allow visitors to the seriously ill - with restrictions, of course. And close relatives get the most rights to be around. The spouse is included in this number, but the cohabitant is not. The latter patient is a nobody from a legal point of view, so access may be denied. However, at other stages you may encounter problems. For example, a conclusion on the cause of death is issued only by Federal Law of November 21, 2011 No. 323-FZ “On the fundamentals of protecting the health of citizens in the Russian Federation” to close relatives.
What are the disadvantages
None.
How to resolve the issue without registering a marriage
Cohabitants can draw up powers of attorney in advance, which will allow them to find out information about each other’s health. But most likely, simply showing it to the attending physician as a marriage certificate will not work. You will need to write an application addressed to the head physician and wait until it is considered. This will happen within 30 days.
Wedding for a cause
In modern secular culture, marriage is a social contract, a kind of act of trust between partners. Often this is just a legal formality and is needed “for business”: from child custody to obtaining citizenship or tax benefits. No matter how sad some may be, it must be recognized that romance is giving way to property law and prenuptial agreements. Against the background of such a change in attitude towards the essence and meaning of marriage, the process of registering it in Russia looks like a wild anachronism: no matter how hard you try to reduce the ceremony to a dry notarial procedure, you will not be able to get away from the registrar with a bouffant, who, like twenty years ago, will push a mournful speech about “the meeting of two loving hearts.”
Why is it better not to get married at all?
An ideological bachelor will find reasons not to marry at any age. The impetus for ignoring marriage ties can be, firstly, an unsuccessful marriage of parents: quarrels, swearing and fights certainly do not serve as the ideal of family relations between husband and wife. Secondly, this is the “falling in love” of a young man with relatives to the point of becoming a Narcissist, who simply a worthy partner for himself in a woman
A guy definitely doesn’t need to think about marriage if he:
- Understands that most women change for the worse after marriage. And he is afraid that his tender, beautiful one will eventually relax, get fat, and neglect herself. Yes, he will grow old in the end!
- Realizes that marriage is expensive. And divorce is even more expensive.
- Not ready for compromises and giving up the usual way of life with friends, going to the bathhouse, spontaneous travel and other joys of a bachelor party.
- Does not accept sex with one partner.
Does Casanova need a wedding? Does a fish need an umbrella?
Maria
30 years old, art critic
We decided to register the relationship at the registry office after four years of marriage - we wanted to be able to make important decisions if our partner ended up in the hospital, for example. I was strongly against the traditional attributes of a wedding: an expensive dress, some special restaurant, distant relatives and the inevitable ceremony. I hate everything ceremonial, especially since I saw a lot of weddings and realized that I never want to make a parade out of my feelings. She suggested that her future husband refuse the rings, but he still insisted, because it seemed like a “normal” symbol. Coincidentally, two pairs of our friends also came to the decision to get a stamp in their passports - and even signed up for the Griboedovsky registry office on the same day. We decided to join them to have fun and to feel less awkward about encountering a formal setting and rituals. What we didn’t expect was the incredible excitement around the wedding - jokes about the honeymoon, discussions about whether I would change my last name (I didn’t, so that there wouldn’t be an epic with changing a million documents), sincere wishes to give birth to a son. I think that a wedding as a phenomenon has little to do with feelings.
Why does a man need to marry? Objective and subjective reality
Men's thoughts about “should I get married or not” happen long before the wedding and on the eve of the celebration. In the first case, they can only give birth to a hardened bore . But in the second - a disrupted wedding, hysteria from the bride's parents and a huge inferiority complex from the failed wife.
Stubborn statistics insist that the number of women on the planet constantly exceeds the number of men. Hence, the percentage of guys who think that marriage is necessary is decreasing every year.
The logic is simple: what is the point of taking on the responsibility of supporting a family if you can enjoy the rights of a minority for the rest of your life, watching the competition of “females” for your own person?
Most often, such thoughts disappear closer to a midlife crisis , when a not-so-young man has played enough with his career, lost a couple of best friends in the family swamp, and begins to think about who to transfer his experience, knowledge and acquired property to. This is where the main reasons for getting married and the advantages of marriage emerge:
- Organized life. If you're lucky with your wife, of course.
- Instinct of procreation. And it’s not just the fact of the birth of a child. Many men unexpectedly begin to truly enjoy fatherhood.
- Status in society. Agree that for a successful business or political career, the image of a happy family man plays an important role.
- Seeking support and comfort in relationships. After all, it’s good to come home and, in addition to a plate of fresh borscht, also receive good advice from your wife.
Successful fatherhood is a modern trend.
Fun fact, but a man decides to get married, at least half of the time, only because his chosen one wants it. After many years of civil marriage, he no longer cares about the official status of the relationship .
Among other very real, but bordering on humorous reasons for getting married, guys named:
- so that mom doesn’t scold;
- friends took it “weakly”;
- sporting interest to check “how is it there”?;
- I’m tired of going on sprees as an incentive to stay at home and work.
Get married so as not to upset mommy.
A good option for an accomplished man? The frivolous attitude of men towards marriage has already become a hackneyed topic for jokes and tales. But frivolous does not mean negative. Where then do beautiful strangers come from in the life of almost every young lady, positive on all sides, but completely denying marriage as an institution?
