Psychology of men: how a woman can understand her other half

Do people seem alike regardless of gender? This is far from true. Male psychology is a different story! Representatives of the stronger sex often play by their own rules, pursuing a strategy that is sometimes incomprehensible to them. Women should be careful about understanding guys. The more correctly and competently the girl behaves, the more pleasant and harmonious the relationship of the future couple will be.

Male psychology for women: advice one

Life without mistakes is impossible. Representatives of the stronger sex for the most part do not admit flaws. The man will apologize if he is wrong in front of the lady, however, he will gladly shift all the blame for other, albeit minor, cases. It turns out that it is not only difficult to tell the truth, but also to admit it. Anyone becomes to blame - from neighbors to colleagues or casual acquaintances.

The main intention is to be a good guy, to live up to everyone's expectations, even if he is at fault. At such moments, you should not point out to a man his mistakes and shortcomings, otherwise he will live up to your worst expectations.

The psychology of men is built in such a way as not to admit that they are wrong. Therefore, a woman can insist on her own or assess the situation from his point of view. The second option will allow you to remain happy by accepting your partner’s truth, as a result of which he will strive to realize his hopes.

Rivalry, patriarchy, matriarchy

Family structures can have completely different power hierarchies. Of course, all men cannot be put under the same brush: some like to be a leader and master of the situation, while others prefer to sit on the sidelines.

Of course, most men have a natural instinct for leadership, so it’s not always good to compete with it. It is better for a woman to recognize that the man is the head of the family and not try to surpass him. A competitive spirit in the family will not lead to anything good: a man will be able to find a strong rival in you and stop seeing a weak woman who needs protection.

Psychology of men in love

Mostly guys meet girls not for the sake of a serious relationship. At least they don't prioritize them initially. Men are quite happy with regular meetings without obligations. Additional confirmation of this is that one hears “I want to get married” much more often than “I want to get married.”

Active attempts to put a stamp in the passport about marriage are perceived by the majority of the stronger sex as aggression in terms of restricting personal freedom. For many men, individual space is considered sacred. Only after some time do they understand the depth of feelings and sensations, letting their beloved into their soul and heart.

Experts advise exploring male territory smoothly, slowly, like a cat on soft paws. Any strong statement or active demonstration of rights to territory acts as a stop signal. This applies not only to “casual female acquaintances,” but also to those to whom the guy is accustomed. To attract your chosen one, you should “spud” the selected object carefully, with caution. It will not be possible to take such a fortress by storm.

How can a guy position himself correctly for polygamy?

Be honest with yourself and with the girl.

Tell her right away that you don't want an exclusive relationship.

Tell her about the friends you're dating.

Say that you also like her and you don’t know what will happen next.

Let her understand this completely and open up to her from the beginning.

So a man gives a girl a choice: either she takes it completely, or leaves.

She understands everything.

Release of "dust"

The psychology of guys in relationships with girls is often determined by boasting, but everyone does it in their own way. A beautiful wife, a new car, the number of books read, and the like become a source of pride. Ladies' admiration for men becomes a kind of incentive to perform actions. They feel special and wings grow behind their backs. A simple guy feels like a superhero, ready to cope with any problem.

Male psychology regarding admiration from the female sex is based on a subconscious level. That is, any representative of the stronger sex dreams of surprising a girl. This need manifests itself in the desire to “show off” and in competition with colleagues or friends. The “alpha male” loves to brag about his achievements and waits for approval from the representatives of the better half of humanity. In this, men are similar to children. Therefore, you should not “cut at the root” your fantasy and sense of greatness. No matter how unattainable a dream may seem, it can come true if you sincerely believe.

Be honest with your partner and yourself, mistakes

First of all, a man must have experience in an exclusive relationship before building a polygamous one!

Big mistakes many guys who are trying to build a polygamous relationship:

• Many guys, guided by well-known articles, videos and all sorts of things from the Internet about polygamy, may decide that this is supposedly exactly what they need. Here you need to understand the difference between whether the guy really decides this for himself and understands why he is moving in this direction. Or it happens on a whim, because he thought it was cool - although this is absolutely not his opinion and not his desire.
• If a guy is not honest with himself and not honest with a girl , lies, hides the truth, the girl begins to feel it.
• From here, the main girl who you like most begins to leave you . And she doesn’t even leave because you are like that. She leaves because of lies.

A man can experience a lot of pain by lining everything up incorrectly.

Girls are generally able to accept the polygamous nature of men . One way or another, everyone has it. But in men it is more pronounced, and this belief in society plays into the hands of men.

If there is an outright lie and hiding other girls , the girl will leave precisely because of the lies, and not because you want a polygamous relationship and are trying to build it.

Therefore, it is very important to approach this intelligently and build polygamy consciously.

Otherwise, you yourself will end up with a lot of pain and internal worries if this does not happen.

Straightforwardness

Men's psychology in love and relationships differs from women's perception. Ladies get satisfaction from the communication process itself. For guys, this is a way to get some information. A man perceives what he hears as it is. Veiled phrases and complex hints are not the best option to reach the hearts of the stronger sex. The simpler and more straightforward the phrase is, the higher the likelihood of mutual understanding.

The chosen one expects from her gentleman that he will guess about her desires, almost reading her thoughts. However, confusing hints and florid phrases only complicate the situation; it is difficult for a man to understand what they really want from him? Such misunderstandings often lead to female disappointment. In male psychology, the response is manifested by irritation and temper. Guys feel dissatisfied, but don’t understand why they can’t directly express their desire?

The logical mindset of men is built in such a way as to speak clearly and concisely, and to receive specific answers to questions. Ladies who explain their own needs as clearly as possible simplify the task not only for the chosen one, but also for themselves.

Communication process

We all know well that brevity is the sister of talent. And this fact should be taken into account in the communication process, which men and women consider from different positions. For ladies in this case, the most important thing is the form. They can even communicate just for fun. For a man, on the contrary, any conversation is just a way of transmitting information. This is another secret of the difference in psychology between the two sexes. Representatives of the strong half of humanity take what is said literally. They are generally not good at hints, flowery sentences, and hidden ways of communicating. Men are specific. Based on this, a woman should build her verbal communication. She should not believe that the chosen one will read the thoughts of his companion like an open book, and will understand all the hints literally at a glance. It is worth realizing that the structure of a man’s brain is somewhat different. This is why women are so often bitterly disappointed. To prevent this from happening, it is worth remembering that the more veiled the request or desire is, the greater the likelihood that the man simply will not understand it. You need to tell your lover directly what is required of him.

It often happens that a woman tries to express her request with the help of hints. She thinks she's made herself quite clear. But the man does not understand the desires of his lady. This irritates her, and her chosen one only feels that they are dissatisfied with him, but does not know what to do about it.

Women should know that a man is always logical and concrete. He is used to asking direct questions and receiving clear answers. For ladies who want to be understood, it is recommended to learn to speak in a language that the interlocutor understands. This will be much more effective than guessing desires and thoughts.

Emotional disguise

The psychology of men is built on restraining emotions. In a harsh world, a real hero must be able to “keep his mark” without spilling his feelings on others. A guy who has problems at work is an extremely moody and withdrawn creature. All he needs at this moment is peace and solitude. Well, he doesn’t want to reveal his soul to his household, including his beloved wife.

At such moments, ladies come up with all sorts of bad reasons for themselves. Having tuned in to the worst case scenario, the girls become offended and withdraw into themselves. As a result, the man has an additional problem. The second version of the development of events is interrogation with bias. The woman tries by any means to find out what caused the sadness and sadness of her chosen one.

In the psychology of men, there is a certain lever that is triggered by a reaction to insult, betrayal or other strong emotion, only after digesting and perceiving an unpleasant situation. In this case, the ladies just have to endure, and then receive a well-deserved reward in the form of a cheerful person, ready to communicate.

A man is a hunter by nature

How to fall in love with a man? Play the role of the prey and let him be the hunter. Don't be intrusive, keep some mystery, but don't go too far with inaccessibility.

Should you call a man if he is missing? There is no exact answer to this question, since it is necessary to proceed from a specific situation. A person could lose their phone, get sick, or go on a business trip.

There are also other options: the man stopped liking you, he was afraid of responsibility, etc. You won’t know the real reason until you contact the object of interest. It’s better to call yourself than to suffer from the unknown.

These are the tips for those who want to understand men. Don't forget about the differences in psychology and perception of the world between different sexes. A frank conversation will help clarify all problematic issues.

Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/relationship/1814370-psihologia-muzcin-znania-kotorye-pomogut-mudroj-zensine/

Herd instinct

The psychology of guys is formed on the basis of the herd instinct. The desire to unite in companies is quite normal. The main signs of the unification of representatives of the stronger sex into groups:

1. Interests by age. People have something to share based on the cultural ties of the same time, including memories from childhood.
2. Interests in a certain area (sports, cars, hobbies, fishing, hunting, etc.).
3. Coalition against a common enemy. In such groups, there is an increased level of adrenaline and testosterone. Here an intolerant attitude towards life with a heightened sense of justice is manifested.
4. "Hot Topics". Guys are especially sensitive to discussing sex, politics and sports.

If a woman is not satisfied with the long absence of her chosen one nearby, she can simply infiltrate his circle and become part of a group of interests. An alternative way out of the situation is a normal perception of the absences of a loved one, which makes it possible to calmly go about your business. To properly enter the company of a loved one, you should remember some settings:

1. Recognize that your chosen one has an excellent team.
2. To love the place where comrades gather.
3. Find within yourself the opportunity and desire to get to know your loved one’s surroundings.
4. Accept the fact that his friends are now yours.

Relationship stages

How can all of the above help in practice to build relationships in a couple? To begin with, it should be said that any relationship goes through several stages. Different psychologists distinguish from 5 to 7 stages or stages of relationship development, depending on how strongly a particular specialist is inclined to detail the nuances of these very stages. For example, psychologist Jed Diamond identifies 5 stages of a couple’s relationship [MarieClaire, 2021].

Stages of relationships (according to Diamond):

• Falling in love and feeling “inspired.”
• Forming a couple, getting married, having children.
• Disappointment due to difficulties encountered and unfulfilled hopes.
• True love is when all obstacles have been overcome.
• “The Absolute of Love” or “The Love That Can Change the World.”

Jed Diamond notes that many couples break up at the third stage after the first serious disagreements, not realizing that this is just another and logical stage in the development of relationships. But, at the same time, the psychologist claims that not all couples even reach the fifth stage, even the most prosperous ones who have lived in harmony all their lives. So, as an illustration of the “Absolute of Love,” Diamond cites Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip.

Psychologist Susan Campbell also identifies 5 stages, but her relationship development scheme looks a little different [O. Sulchinskaya, 2019].

Stages of relationships (according to Campbell):

• Romanticism, idealization of a partner.
• Understanding that the partner is not entirely ideal, the desire to “remake” him, the struggle for power.
• Stability and acceptance of each other's characteristics.
• Wisdom and responsibility for your actions.
• New unification and development of the spiritual component.

You can find a deeper detail of the stages, which identifies “7 stages of relationship development” [NewsRambler, 2017]. However, if you read carefully, you can see a lot in common with the above classifications:

• Candy-bouquet period.
• Satiation.
• Rejection.
• Patience.
• A conscious decision to be together.
• Respect.
• Love.

Thus, true love is not flowers and dates at all, although this is certainly important and pleasant. True love is when a couple has gone through all the difficulties, and sincere respect for each other has formed within the couple. However, often couples do not reach not only the 7th, but even the 4th stage, saying goodbye after six months or a year of the relationship: psychology is not an easy thing.

In principle, separation is possible at almost any stage, when the candy-bouquet period has passed and the couples are faced with contradictions, disagreements, and different visions for the further development of the relationship. Yes, even simply because the partner does not quite correspond to the ideal image that the imagination, excited by the new acquaintance, painted.

Of course, it would be more correct to work on relationships by contacting a psychologist or studying our “Psychology of Relationships” program. This is relevant and can help at any stage, be it the onset of satiety with romance or the epiphany that the partner is not ideal, a different vision of when it is better to formalize an official marriage or take out a mortgage loan, some year of relationship and psychological fatigue from routine. Only by working on relationships can you make them truly strong, healthy and long-term.

At what point can we consider that a couple’s relationship has taken place and is strong enough? There are several signs of a truly strong relationship in a couple:

• Having common values ​​and interests.
• Presence of mutual respect and understanding.
• Having your own interests that are not related to your partner.
• The desire to spend leisure time together after many years of marriage.
• The ability and willingness to be silent together.
• Mutual help and support.

These are the basic characteristics of strong relationships, which psychologists point out first of all [A. Kovaleva, 2020]. And if the couple already has all or almost all of the above, such relationships can be considered established, even if disagreements and mutual dissatisfaction appear in them from time to time.

Note that many psychologists see in contradictions and mutual irritation signs of the process of unification [J. Kaufman, 2005]. Irritation and contradictions will appear until the couple develops some “general rules” for coexistence and behavior with each other. Then life will return to a calm and stable track.

True, after this there is a danger of routine and a decrease in mutual interest. Remember, at the very beginning we noticed that all the songs, poems, books are dedicated to various cataclysms in relationships, but almost no one sings about peace and stability in a couple? It’s not like “how boring my life is,” but it doesn’t excite me enough to dedicate poetry to my wife making pies or sing a song about how my husband renovated the apartment.

From a psychological point of view, there is nothing surprising here. Psychologists consider quarrels and reconciliations to be the norm for any couple, because often after reconciliation, relationships become better for some time than before the quarrel. True, the scheme only works if the man and woman are ready for constructive communication and reconciliation [Zh. Kaufman, 2005].

Just as important is the willingness to voice your wishes and possible dissatisfaction in a tactful manner. Otherwise, there is a risk that the partner will never know that his significant other is not completely satisfied with something. Men are especially prone to such misunderstanding due to the peculiarities of their psychology, which we examined earlier.

Perhaps it is worthwhile to dwell separately on such a topic as common values ​​​​in a couple. If there are common values, such a couple is more likely to successfully overcome all crises, cataclysms, mutual irritation, discontent, and go through all stages of building relationships, because they have something to try for and overcome difficulties. Today there is a lot of advice on how to exactly look for common goals. Let's briefly talk about the main ways to do this.

How to look for common goals at different stages of a relationship:

• Ask questions to find out your partner’s plans for the future and his vision of certain problems.
• Listen to the answers and try to understand their true meaning, without imposing your own interpretations.
• Present your goals, ideas, desires and find something exciting in them for your partner.
• Refrain from hasty conclusions if your partner’s goals, ideas, and desires do not seem very interesting or worthy of attention.
• Consider a demo version of the implementation of your partner’s goals and desires, if these goals and desires raise certain doubts.
• Find a “place” in your goals for your partner and the realization of his ambitions.
• Remember that your goals and desires may change over time.
• Remember that your partner's goals and desires can also change over time.

So, in general, we have examined the main points of the psychology of relationships in a couple between a man and a woman. A separate topic is the psychology of relationships between a woman and a woman, if a love triangle has developed in the classic composition: husband, wife, mistress. We will not dwell separately on the topic of relationships between wife and mistress, because this already goes beyond the topic of relationships in a couple.

As for our topic today, we advise everyone who wants to delve deeper into the topic of relationship psychology to read books on the psychology of relationships. A great many of them have been written, and if you wish, you can find a dozen or more books devoted to every aspect of relationships in a couple and the problems that arise, ranging from adultery to domestic conflicts.

For our part, we especially recommend Daniel Wyle’s book “After the Honeymoon. How to turn family conflicts to the benefit of relationships” for, let’s say, just starting their journey together, and not only in marriage [D. Wyle, 2017]. For experienced couples who are faced with the dangers of everyday routine, Sue Johnson's book “Hold Me Tight” will be useful. 7 dialogues for love for life" [P. Johnson, 2018].

And finally, sex therapist Marina Travkova’s book “Infidelity. Why do loved ones cheat, is it worth forgiving, is it possible to avoid” [M. Travkova, 2021]. However, everyone should read this book, because, according to the author, people often completely unconsciously “invest” in the betrayal of their flighty soulmate.

In addition, we recommend taking our “Relationship Psychology” program to understand how to see and recognize “your” person and how not to waste time on people with whom you know nothing good will work out. And, accordingly, how to develop and harmonize relationships with those people who suit you, who are “yours,” even if sometimes it seems to you that the differences are off the charts.

We wish that your couple always had a harmonious relationship: at the stage of the candy-bouquet period and after its end for many, many years until the very end of your happy life together. And, as always, please answer the question on the topic of the article:

We also recommend reading:

• Storytelling
• Conflicts in relationships: a selection of useful materials
• Feminism. Is this really a bad thing?
• Principles for building strong relationships. Can this be learned?
• Why does a person need a relationship: answers from psychologists
• Secrets of a happy relationship: a selection of useful materials
• Is it possible to do without a psychotherapist?
• Books on relationship psychology
• Sue Johnson, The Feeling of Love. A New Scientific Approach to Romantic Relationships"
• Healthy relationships: what they are and how to build them
• Strong relationships: why is your partner annoying?

Keywords:1Communications, 1Relationships

Dying Swan Syndrome

Sometimes one should be very sensitive to male psychology. As life experience shows, there is no creature more defenseless and requiring attention than a sick representative of the stronger sex. This comes from childhood, when a boy is taught that if he is sick, the planet revolves around him. Everyone looks after the person, allows a lot and babysits him.

Such moments are suitable for showing off your best side. Making chicken broth, tea with jam, or just a kind word can breathe maximum life and health into the “dying swan.” And if you spice up the situation with a piquant outfit or an interesting film, the payoff won’t take long to arrive. Men's psychology is different from women's, but everything is in the hands of the couple. If you make concessions and understand your partner, happiness will not take long to arrive.

Greater mutual understanding: what is it eaten with?

Greater mutual understanding is, of course, an advantage in the first place.

What are the advantages of relationships in terms of mutual understanding?:

1. It's cool that there is a person nearby for whom you have good, sincere feelings.
2. If you can find common activities, then you will live in a completely different flow . It will be more general for you. From there you can find the interior space for yourself. There will be an understanding that the person next to you is growing and smelling.
3. You will have a moment of such spiritual intimacy if you find a partner with whom you are simply interested. Your human understanding will grow.
4. Over time, you learn to understand each other perfectly . This is a definite plus for relationships.

But, on the other hand, there will be difficulties in terms of mental adjustment. Because a person’s value system may not be entirely compatible with yours.

How to understand a man?

Guys set a goal for themselves - to assert themselves at any cost. The psychological barrier depends on the tasks set and the level of relationships at the professional level. Problems at work or difficulties in career growth often detract from the clarification of personal or family relationships. A representative of the stronger sex tries by any means to achieve what he wants; the correct behavior of a woman motivates him more than any other factors. The support of a lady is like air, without which it is impossible to breathe and assert oneself in this life.

Advice for girls who want to understand male psychology:

• do not meddle in your boyfriend’s affairs unless he asks for it;
• do not make harsh statements criticizing his actions, any support will be assessed positively, as opposed to reproaches and “attacks”;
• support your partner in difficult situations;
• never show your superiority in front of your husband or boyfriend.

Men appreciate care

Secrets of male psychology: Freepick
Men see their partner as a homemaker. It is important for them that the house is always clean, their clothes are kept in order, and that a delicious dinner awaits them in the evening.

Guys sometimes don’t understand that a woman gets tired too and doesn’t always want to potter around in the kitchen. There is a way out of this situation: you can order food at home. The main thing is to share a meal with your loved one and ask about his day.

Advice from a psychologist in relationships with a man

Several recommendations enable ladies to establish relationships with their chosen ones. Observe the following rules:

1. Smile more often and listen to the man carefully.
2. Laugh at jokes and let your partner talk about himself.
3. You share the guy’s interests, don’t be afraid of him, give him gifts.
4. Be mysterious, do not forget to praise your chosen one.
5. What do men love in women? Psychology shows that unobtrusiveness, control over emotions, and gratitude are the main criteria for success.
6. Don't impose, be different.
7. You shouldn’t test your patience by waiting, or drag your loved one to the shops.
8. Be positive, use not only business style in your clothes.
9. Swear less, work on your makeup, love yourself.
10. Take the first step.
11. Work on your gait.
12. Be helpful and let him respond in kind.
13. Don’t often think about the past, don’t focus on the guy’s mistakes.
14. Get involved in intellectual processes, do not put yourself above him.
15. Show sincerity combined with some intrigue.

Choosing a life partner

Every man subconsciously sees a woman as a life partner, and therefore approaches the choice of his partner very seriously.

The most popular signs by which a man understands that a woman is right for him are:

• woman's sexual attractiveness;
• her health and radiant appearance;
• not scandalous;
• the ability to surround a man with care.

All these characteristics are very feminine, so a girl who possesses them will definitely enjoy the attention of most of the men around her.

Love or sex?

The psychology of men in relationships with girls is determined by the dominance of intimate relationships. Love is also important for guys, but it does not come first, especially after a short-term acquaintance. This behavior is due to the fact that instincts take over, polygamy exceeds the most intimate and positive intentions, even among intelligent and modest representatives of the stronger sex. The problem is expressed in the desire for spontaneous sex or dominance of a woman. At the same time, the spiritual part and the sexual call are not always connected into one whole.

Male psychology in love: how to understand it? Firstly, guys in relationships need the opportunity to take care of their crush and receive a similar response from her. Secondly, a man values ​​​​devotion, mutual affection, physical and moral understanding.

Feelings and their manifestation

Women, due to their emotionality, often think that men are cold towards them, although this may not be the case at all. Most men are stingy with open expressions of emotions. They may show their feelings in other ways:

• take care of the woman you love;
• always take her side;
• protect your woman.

Some men say the word “love” only a few times in their entire lives. But every such recognition is worth its weight in gold. If a person does not waste words, it means he can be trusted.

Men prefer calm conversations - this makes it easier for them to tune in to the topic without being distracted by violent manifestations of emotions that throw them off balance.

Age crises

A person experiences several age-related stressful situations (crises) during his life. The psychology of guys adapts to such a transformation “with the flow”, putting up with what is happening, or begins a new round, developing personal qualities. A lady must understand the changeable nature of a man. Life is not a smooth “silk” road; it often “gets you in the teeth” and on your nerves. Nevertheless, all peak changes in the partner’s behavior are predictable and understandable.

Male psychology for women is not as scary as it seems. The representative of the stronger sex is full of contradictions and difficulties. He is more resilient and stronger than the girl, however, his energy is exhausted faster. Guys are also more susceptible to diseases and have a harder time surviving them. All these factors, coupled with bad habits and stress, shorten life. According to statistics, representatives of the stronger sex live 10–15 years less than women.

Features of the psychology of a man who is in love:

• he will not offend the lady, do something to spite her;
• the partner looks for exclusively positive moments in the chosen one and her environment;
• the most frequent communication with your loved one in person or through calls and messages is practiced;
• intimate relationships are not just instinctive in nature, but are imbued with love, respect, understanding;
• they pick up their beloved girl from work, kiss her in the morning, bring her coffee in bed, and show other signs of attention;
• lovers require increased attention to their own person.

What pushes men to cheat

Cheating is associated with family problems or the mental characteristics of the cheater. Married men decide to take this step if:

• they are burdened by the lack of love, boredom in relationships (you cannot relax and believe that your partner will not go anywhere; it is important to respect your loved one and maintain the fire of passion);
• are experiencing an age crisis (a man seeks to assert himself by having affairs with young girls);
• want to take revenge on their spouse for betrayal, lack of attention, conflicts and other grievances;
• trying to compensate for career failures and complexes;
• they are pushed to this by high self-esteem, thirst for sexual victories, curiosity, inconstancy;
• feelings for their other half have faded, interest has disappeared (they justify themselves with theories about monogamy; they claim that a normal male cannot live without his mistresses).

Many people do not believe in female and male psychological differences. But sincerity alone is not enough for a strong relationship, because you can sincerely conflict, be offended and destroy your connection. Representatives of the two sexes behave differently, if only because of different socialization. So these differences are worth taking into account.

What should women do?

A male psychologist will tell any girl (regardless of her age) that a partner requires appropriate treatment, even if he does not always deserve it. Not all representatives of the stronger sex are only interested in sex. Many of them are more vulnerable than their other halves and react painfully to betrayal and deception. However, this is not a reason to humiliate your lover. Guys want to feel exclusive, becoming an object of adoration or admiration for their crush. Often they value not the strong qualities of the chosen one, but the manifestation of maternal care and affection.

A woman’s behavior largely depends on the cultural, emotional and physical perception of her beloved. Each person requires a personal approach, and a loving young lady can find it easily. Respect, affection, expression of feelings, odes and poems conquer not only women’s hearts, but also the souls of men. It is not necessary to pay attention to the standards accepted in society. Sometimes a sweet smile, sexy lingerie or shared memories can do the impossible.

Stages of love development

Most couples go through the same stages of developing feelings. Stages of relationship formation:

• attraction (physical – for men, intellectual – for women);
• uncertainty (the stage of doubt; a partial weakening of interest is natural; you should be patient, wait it out, don’t panic);
• a conscious need to be the only ones (this is a strong desire to move forward together; partners begin to plan the future together);
• spiritual intimacy (full trust arises; partners open their souls; you should not show your loved one all the complexities of your character);
• engagement (the first step towards formalizing the relationship; if the couple is not stable enough, new unexpected difficulties may appear at the marriage planning stage; this leads to the end of the relationship or the transition to the next level).

How to proceed?

A male psychologist does not always inspire confidence among the fairer sex. As experts note, guys understand more clearly and adequately what they want from a relationship with their chosen one. And ladies don’t always define their desires. At the same time, they often suspect their partner of intrigue or betrayal.

To get rid of obsessive thoughts that interfere with building harmonious relationships, we recommend contacting a specialist, for example, psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin, who deals with various psychological problems.

Security plays an important role in a man's needs. He worries not so much about himself as about his wife, children, and loved ones. Realizing the function of a savior and protector is one of the main ones in the harsh male world.

Another piece of advice for ladies:

• don’t be too picky and sarcastic;
• find common points of contact with your chosen one;
• make him feel like a hero;
• listen and understand him;
• do not show your leadership clearly;
• listen to each other.

A significant role in psychology for men is played by the possibility of maintaining not only personal self-esteem, but also the respect of others. Once you lose your favorite job, family or other motivating factor, the strongest “macho” sometimes becomes a lost and weak-willed creature. A blow to pride or sexual potential is one of the most common reasons that takes men out of their usual “rut” of comfort and success.

Psychology and Statistics

Note that the relationship between men and women is of interest not only to poets, writers and composers. They are also of interest to sociologists, psychologists, and scientists who study the functioning of the human brain. Today we will not go deep into science, but we will definitely look at some statistical data that sheds light on relationships in couples in general and the psychology of family relationships in particular.

According to a survey by the All-Russian Center for the Study of Public Opinion (VTsIOM), conducted in 2022, an increasing number of Russians consider divorce a completely normal and acceptable way to resolve serious disagreements in a couple [VTsIOM, 2021]. At the same time, it is indicative how the dynamics of opinions have changed over the past 30 years.

Thus, in 1990, 13% of respondents said that marriage should be preserved at any cost, and in 2022 only 9% expressed this opinion.

In 1990, 39% of respondents believed that divorce was a last resort, permissible only in cases where the family had actually broken up, and in 2021 only 27% were ready to “endure until the last.”

In 1990, 29% of respondents believed that there were no insurmountable obstacles to divorce, but in 2022 39% of respondents think so.

As for the actual causes of divorce, the statistics for 2021 are as follows:

• 33% – financial difficulties, poverty.
• 15% – mutual misunderstanding.
• 14% - infidelity.
• 10% – domestic problems.
• 8% – “they didn’t get along.”
• 8% – drunkenness and alcoholism.

Are Russians ready to somehow save their marriage and their relationship with their partner? And are you ready to seek help from professional psychologists? According to VTsIOM, 27% of Russians believe that the level of trust in psychologists has recently increased.

It is significant that 46% of those who expressed this opinion are people from 18 to 24 years old. Taking into account the fact that it is at this age that people usually get married for the first time, such statistics give hope that young people, when a relationship crisis arises in a couple, will try to solve it with the help of a psychologist, and will not rush to immediately break off the relationship.

Although, even psychologists do not deny that sometimes divorce can benefit spouses [J. Golubitskaya, 2018]. And, in general, there are not many uniquely bad or exceptionally good events in our lives. The only question is how to treat them and what benefits to derive.

Note that recently the number of recorded requests for help from psychologists and psychiatrists has increased significantly. True, this is largely due to the pandemic and the fear of getting sick, dying, fear for your loved ones and other problems that the pandemic and endless restrictions and lockdowns brought.

According to the situation at the end of 2022, the increase in the number of visits to psychologists and psychiatrists ranges from 10% to 30% in different regions compared to the “pre-Covid” period [S. Mingazov, 2020]. The leaders are Moscow with an increase in applications by 28% and St. Petersburg, where the number of applications is 30% more than in 2022. This is according to data from the Bekhterev Center in St. Petersburg and statistics on calls to the city emergency psychological help line in Moscow.

In general, almost 75% of those who applied were women, but such a powerful “gender advantage” is not observed in all age groups. Thus, among people aged 29-35 years who wished to receive specialist help, there are more men than women, and in the category 36-50 years old, the number of women who sought psychological help is slightly greater than the number of men who need professional support from a psychologist [S. Mingazov, 2020].

It is too early to sum up the results of 2022, but there is reason to believe that psychological problems among Russians are unlikely to decrease. True, despite the fact that the main “generator” of psychological problems remains the pandemic, the psychology of human relationships, questions on psychology and about relationships in couples occupy a large place and hold the second place in the rating of requests in Russia.

It is noteworthy that in neighboring Belarus, even the pandemic did not shift issues of relationships in couples from first place in the ranking of requests. For example, in Vitebsk, problems of building and maintaining relationships continue to lead in citizens’ appeals to a psychologist. In second place is the problem of low self-esteem, and only in third place is the problem of depression and increased anxiety. Let us note, by the way, that in Belarus there were fewer “Covid” restrictions than in Russia, so the state gave its citizens fewer reasons for depression and fear of the future.

As for the specific statistics of relationship issues that men and women address, each psychologist has his own. This is due to the specific specialization of the psychologist, and, perhaps, to the factor of chance, who is “lucky” with clients. It’s easy to see this if you just quickly look at the review “What problems do people most often come to family psychologists with?” and psychologists’ answers to this question [Yandex.Zen, 2021].

What is common to all, perhaps, is that the problems that women deal with are different from the problems that men deal with. And even if a married couple comes to see a psychologist, the husband and wife understand and present the same problem differently. Relatively speaking, if a husband works late, the woman is dissatisfied that her husband pays little attention to her, and the man is dissatisfied that his wife does not appreciate his efforts for the well-being of the family [P. Kholyavchuk, 2021].

Thus, when we talk about relationships in a couple, we need to take into account the difference between male and female psychology. And since women turn to psychologists more often, let’s start with them!

What's the result?

If ladies tend to love and care for their neighbors, men need to conquer certain horizons without internally being deprived of freedom. Scandals and quarrels between couples cannot be ruled out. The main thing is to understand each other and know what to do in a given situation. Many psychotherapists note that temperament, the nature of the relationship between a woman and a man depends on upbringing. This is especially true for incomprehensible situations between mother and son. Most grievances and misunderstandings develop in childhood and also during puberty.

Men love business and do not like emotions

A man cuts off emotions and feelings when discussing a problem. If at such a moment a woman turns on her emotions and talks about her relationship, thoughts, what she thinks and how she experiences, then the man gets irritated.

To make such misunderstandings less common:

1. Ask the man to warn you that now there will be a conversation about business.
2. If you want to dream out loud during a conversation with your loved one, then warn about this so that the man does not feel guilty or angry.

Myth two: I just happened to be so loving

The woman is sure that her man is simply very loving by nature - he likes both flirting and more serious hobbies. It is believed that such a man can be forgiven for the fact that he not only does not miss a single woman, but also falls in love with each of them. And he is ready to build a life with her, leaving behind everything that has been created.

“Naturally, this is a strange myth, which also makes men very irresponsible, not understanding anything and dissolving in love for women. To everyone at once,” notes Anna Sukhova. This doesn't happen.

What explains women's intuition and men's infidelity? Infographics Read more

Myth three: sooner or later all men get tired of the monotony of family life and want something new.

With this conviction, many justify the fact that a man, instead of helping with everyday issues, has an affair on the side. “It is believed that a man is a “lover of novelty” - this is the one who quickly gets bored with everything. According to women, he wants something new. Therefore, there is an opinion that he will look for a lady every time, so that she is more interesting and better than the previous one. Of course, this is all fantasy. The more experience a man has, the more he understands that the woman he is with now can also give him new emotions. But female novelty cannot solve all problems. Men reason like this: every woman sooner or later wants to catch him in her network of marriage, to become “the one and only” for him. And you will either have to give up your wild life, or hide endlessly and run away from this once new and bright object. This is all inconvenient for men. And no novelty is worth such complex ways of its implementation,” says Anna Sukhova. This means that the excuse of a constant search for novelty is not suitable. After all, men don’t really need difficulties either.

Showing sincere feelings

How to understand that a man really loves you? Look at his reaction in several situations:

1. Showdown. If a man is interested in you, he will not ignore you or leave you during controversial situations. Men, if something is important to them, prefer to find out right away.
2. Meeting his friends and parents. Men tend to have strong friendships that they value very much. Not every girl is introduced to her friends, and even less so to her parents. Meeting his loved ones is a sure sign of his concern.
3. Behavior at home. If a man is planning a future with you, then he will not refuse to help you around the house, make joint purchases, and give gifts.