“A friend can always help me out,
If something happens suddenly,
To be needed by someone
In difficult times
This is what a true, faithful friend means.” (Song from the film “Timka and Dimka”)
True friends know more about us than our parents. Old friendships run deep, and our lives can take completely different paths, but we still feel connected.
When we moved with our parents to a new apartment, a girl living opposite us knocked on the door. She said: “Hi, my name is Natasha. Let's be friends". We were 7 years old. We have been friends for 30 years, and nothing can break our connection. Yes, each of us has our own life, our own family, and affairs. But we both know that if something pleasant or unpleasant happens, each of us will rush to the rescue even at 3 o’clock in the morning. And it’s enough for us to call and say 2 words - and we feel each other’s mood. This is a priceless feeling.
There are wonderful examples of long-term friendship between stars. For example, Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet have been friends since the filming of the film Titanic for 25 years.
You can read the touching story of their relationship in our article: “A friendship that has stood the test of time: Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet”
Know! If your friend is not treating you the way you would like, voice it to him. Just like in your personal life, friendships can also grow and develop or end and disappear.
Let's figure out which friend we can really rely on? Pay attention to the telltale signs that cannot be ignored even with those closest to you...
How often do friends ask about your life?
When you ask a friend, “How was your weekend?” is he also interested in your weekend, or is such communication often one-sided? The more two people share information, the better they get to know each other. But when the conversation is one-sided, it should alert you. The basis of any relationship is reciprocity.
If you notice that most of your conversations are focused on the needs and interests of only one person, ask yourself why that is. Also, notice: Do you look forward to talking with this friend or do you feel emotionally drained after talking to them?
Are fake people really bad for your health?
Yes, of course, fake people can be incredibly annoying, but are they really capable of causing significant harm to health? Yes unfortunately.
When we enter into a friendship or romantic relationship with someone, we invest a lot of time and energy into it, and when it turns out that the object of it all was a fake and a dummy, it really hurts us. But it's not only that.
Numerous studies show that there is a direct link between our relationships and well-being. When social relationships are toxic or one-sided, we begin to feel worse. So the strength and direction of connections with other people really matters.
Does a friend come to your aid?
Have you ever helped your friend only to have him help you someday? Probably not. This level of relationship is too selfish and consumerist. Between true friends there is no “hand washes hand” relationship.
Appreciation and gratitude are one of the most powerful ways to show how much we appreciate someone's efforts, and in close relationships this is not always expected, but is very valuable! If you again do not have a balance between the actions of “give and receive,” perhaps you should take a closer look at your friendships - or rather, reconsider them?
Girlfriend or friend? Friend or acquaintance? Is it worth continuing the relationship?
The author of the letter given at the beginning of this publication could be advised to cut off relations with the one for whom communication has become a burden. This must be done in order to stop considering yourself an inferior person. As in the case of this real-life story:
When I was a child I had a fake friend. He imposed himself on me, and I was uncomfortable refusing his friendship. He came to visit me, every day he came in the morning to go to school with me. We even sat at the same desk together.
He studied poorly, and I had to help him - always suggest something. In addition, he was weak, and therefore he was offended. And I stood up for him, completely unable to fight. It cost me strength, nerves, tears and time. But then I didn’t even think about the fact that it was simply beneficial for him to maintain a relationship with me, that this friendship was false.
Starting from the third grade, this boy became ashamed to go to school with me, and home after school. Despite the fact that we lived on the same street and the houses were nearby, he walked home from school with boys who didn’t give a damn about him, insulted him and didn’t want to walk down our street. Because of this, he made a long detour, spending much more time on the road than before.
My fake friend did not break off relations with me, communicating behind the backs of his new friends and pretending to be a close soul for me. And all this weighed heavily on me. I was a child then, and the betrayal of my only friend was a shock to me. Besides, I didn’t understand his hypocrisy. At that time, I was sure of my inferiority, believing that I myself had somehow provoked the incorrect behavior of this strange kid.
But years later, I dealt with this internal problem and realized that that boy was stupid, did not have intelligence as such, and was influenced by others. And I am an intellectual person, with a developed consciousness and my own views on life. I didn’t really need his fake friendship, and when it stopped completely, more opportunities appeared in my life - I started being friends with girls.
The author of the letter already understands that her fake friend does not want to maintain a full-fledged relationship with her, as before, but still the girl is afraid to break it off, so as not to be left completely without friends. Here we could recommend not to be afraid of this. Firstly, there are quite a lot of situations in life when there are like-minded people. Secondly, you can replace real communication with virtual communication, for example, find a community of interests.
Thirdly, you should occupy yourself with important things or get carried away with some hobby, and then you will no longer need any friends or acquaintances. As is clear from the letter on the basis of which this article was created, the young woman is not yet married and therefore is not burdened with various responsibilities and worries, therefore she has a lot of time to worry about the behavior of her false friend.
This behavior is, in principle, normal. This is what most people do. But in order to get away from your internal problems, you should distract your mind to important matters, so as not to end up in the situation described in the following story about false friendship.
I have been friends with a classmate since the eighth grade. She imposed herself on me as a friend, because I stood up for her in front of everyone. At the same time, I had a fight with a bunch of notorious trash who were studying in our class at that time. But by this act I ensured that they left this girl alone and were afraid to even look in my direction.
The classmate whom I defended was uninteresting to me, it was boring to be with her, she studied poorly, she had problems with hygiene, and she was downtrodden and impersonal. I am the complete opposite of her. But it was inconvenient for me to refuse her attention and desire to spend free time with me. And somehow, out of necessity, I became friends with her.
Communication continued for several years. Even when each of us had our own family, we went to visit each other. But from some point on, I began to understand from her attitude that this friendship was false. My friend behaved as described by the author of the letter published at the beginning of this article. She invited a bunch of her friends to the holidays, but me and my family separately.
In addition, when I tried to start a joint business with her, she began to deceive me, defrauding me of large sums of money until I caught her doing it. Thus, relationships that I once considered strong were broken. A year after her betrayal, I went to make peace with her. But her behavior did not change at all, she did not even apologize.
The false friendship continued for several more years and it weighed heavily on me. Moving to another country helped me break an unnecessary connection with a person who was alien to me. Looking back, I realized that during the years in which I maintained false friendships, I behaved incorrectly. Why waste time on a woman who easily betrayed me and forgot about me? Having stopped communicating with her, I was not left alone, I made new friends. Even temporary, but still.
The girl who asked for advice on this site, like the readers of this article, should not be afraid of loneliness. Life is long; at any time you can meet like-minded people. And through the Internet, you can artificially expand your circle of acquaintances. This type of friendship is more attractive because you don’t need to take online friends to restaurants.
If you had to realize that your close friends are not true friendships at all, then you need to break off such relationships. The fact is that individuals who maintain an artificial connection will at any moment put their interests above the interests of their friends. An example is situations where women, wanting to maintain relationships with friends from school or college, found themselves in an unpleasant situation when they caught their spouses in bed with those they trusted.
Some who have experienced such moments tell inexperienced people how to spot fake girlfriends. They propose to identify such people by their behavior. These wise women argue that the main sign of a false friendship is the presence of a forced relationship. When two people believe that they need to maintain a false connection out of habit or because they are afraid of being left without loved ones in spirit, they create something like a quagmire in which one of them then gets bogged down.
Do you communicate most often on social networks?
During quarantine, there was no opportunity to communicate with friends in person, and this turned out to be a problem. While we do rely on social media these days to stay connected, face-to-face communication has never been cancelled.
Friends we meet on the Internet can become true friends over time, but not all contacts are truly valuable. If your interaction began and remained at the level of simple comments or likes, then you should not call it friendship.
a lion
Leos are friendly and sociable people. They have a bright, charismatic personality and accept others as they are.
Leos value friendship very much and should be proud of their friends. If you become a Leo friend, prepare for unconditional loyalty, generosity, support and honesty.
This zodiac sign loves to be the center of attention, so it is unlikely to tolerate someone who will take away part of their fame. In a friend, Leo looks first of all for a companion who is ready for honest criticism.
Your true friend: Sagittarius
A couple of these fire signs can be an explosive mixture, which is why they are often attracted to each other. In a pair of Leo and Sagittarius, both get along well with each other and can become best friends.
Sagittarius is perhaps one of the few zodiac signs that can withstand the bossiness and assertiveness of Leo. In addition, Leo and Sagittarius will always find something to do for themselves, since both are quite sociable, energetic and love new experiences.
Both signs, as a rule, have many friends and admirers, and as long as they respect and admire each other, nothing will interfere with their friendship.
Your Fake Friend: Taurus
At the beginning of a relationship, Taurus and Leo complement each other perfectly and find understanding. However, over time, the situation may change, and when the first conflicts arise, both will show remarkable stubbornness and unwillingness to give in on anything.
Leo may find Taurus too boring if he does not express any admiration for his person.
Taurus, in turn, has difficulty forgetting quarrels and can teach Leo a lesson for harsh remarks, showing which of them is really in charge.
Can you really be yourself around a friend?
The sign of a true friend is that around him you can be yourself without fear, without fear of judgment . You don’t have any wariness or fear of saying the wrong thing. What is your body telling you when you spend time with a supposed friend? Pay attention to your feelings!
If you tense up, choose your words carefully, watch your movements, and prefer closed postures, these may all be signals that you are not comfortable fully relaxing in front of this person.
The most fake people according to zodiac sign
Cancer
Cancers are notorious gossips. They will pay compliments to your face, praise you and your choice, but as soon as you turn away, they will immediately find a company in which they will begin to criticize and mock you. Typically, Cancers do this without any special intent and certainly not out of self-interest. This is their part of life, their way of entertainment, which they simply cannot live without. But the most surprising thing is that close people know about such a passion of Cancers. They get used to it and don’t actually get angry at them for their “long tongue”; they simply stop trusting the valuable information that they might blab.
Scales
Always delicate and courteous, Libra will never admit to you that they don’t like someone or are annoyed by someone. However, if the emotions of such people indicate the opposite, this makes others suspect Libra of insincerity. Moreover, the personalities of this sign often hesitate when making one decision or another. These fluctuations lead to Libra telling different people conflicting information, and this becomes another reason for mistrust. In general, Libra, even if not on purpose, creates an aura of mistrust around themselves, which is why they often suffer throughout their lives.
Capricorn
Capricorns are calculating individuals whose main priorities in life are career growth and financial independence. And even though Capricorns know how to make friends and try to be honest with loved ones, if there is a question of appointment to a position where the opponent is a friend, Capricorns will do everything to take this place, even if they have to trample on friendship. At the same time, cunning Capricorns always arrange things in such a way that no one will even think of accusing this person of foul play. Obviously, it is possible to be friends with Capricorn, but only if you do not hurt each other’s financial interests.
Aquarius
Aquarius has a wonderful imagination, thanks to which they easily make up stories and spread gossip about others. Sometimes for Aquarius it is just entertainment, and sometimes in this way he eliminates his competitors, but he lies so believably that the reputation of the slandered person completely deteriorates. Aquarians are those people who will accuse their partner of treason and bring up facts of betrayal for discussion, while they themselves will cheat unscrupulously, assuring their loved one of fidelity. You can trust Aquarius only if you know something secret about him, and he, fearing publicity, will maintain parity.
Twins
The many-faced Geminis do not inspire trust even among close people, and all because of their own duality. For each person they have their own mask, and even the closest people sometimes do not know where the real Gemini is and where he is telling the truth. These individuals easily bend to any circumstances if it is beneficial for them, and without a twinge of conscience they reveal other people’s secrets and spread rumors. It's just their way of surviving in this world. Such manipulations of others are natural for Gemini, and therefore close people will be very sorry if they open their souls to this person.
Photo - psy.systems
Do your friendships mostly revolve around drinking alcohol?
Friendships require a variety of experiences and new shared memories. Think about whether you are stuck in your habit of doing the same thing over and over again?
Perhaps you have a friend with whom you communicate only for a specific reason (or occasion), but nothing more. Let's say you're comfortable drinking beer with him on Fridays at the pub. Or you meet only to drink a bottle in the kitchen and gossip. Remember that true friends are not the ones who are always with you behind the bar, but the ones who will make sure you get home safely late at night.
Remember! A friend is a person who treats you sincerely and with love. Having such a friend is the highest gift! If you have such a friend, appreciate him, and if not, look for him. And be happy!
Protection from evil people
First of all, let's find out why a person might dislike you in the first place. The most obvious reason is a feeling of anger at one's own life. Truly unhappy people cannot do otherwise. Your luck and success in any business will always make someone angry, and you just need to accept it.
You may be a competitor for someone, or you may not deliberately provoke the enemy to such a reaction. In addition, people have different periods in their lives. When everything falls out of your hands and nothing adds up anywhere, the negativity rushes to the surface. Also, don’t forget that not everyone is okay with their mental health.
Signs of an ill-wisher
One way or another, it is important to understand when a person is honest with you and when he is just pretending. Do you hear frequent flattery from someone? The first reason to think
Usually such compliments sound very artificial, while the interlocutor does not express any emotions at all.
Another alarm bell is hyperbolic curiosity. Few people enjoy an endless stream of annoying questions. Moreover, they often concern something personal and intimate. If you notice something like this in a conversation with a stranger, immediately let him know that you don’t like it. You cannot indulge such people, otherwise they will sit on your neck.
The other side of the coin is excessive causticity. If a person doesn't like you, he can do anything to make you understand it. This can be expressed in correcting mistakes in your speech, remarks, and cutting jokes.
Someone who constantly criticizes you will probably not recognize your achievements and victories. “Accident is to blame for everything,” the ill-wisher will say. He thinks that devaluing you and what you do will help him become a better person. But that's not true.
From this point follows open rejoicing at your failures and defeats. The enemy will savor your every mistake, and this is not always visible. This can be felt in the look, the manner of communication, and the emphasis on it.
You will feel uncomfortable next to an ill-wisher. Don't let it happen and try to figure out why the person evokes such emotions in you. Your brain will certainly send you signals, don’t ignore them and listen to your body.
Anyone can be an enemy
The worst thing is when the enemy turns out to be your good acquaintance or even a friend. First, step by step, he ingratiates himself into your trust, and then he will certainly turn the tables on you. Remember, someone spread gossip about you once? This is an excellent example of the behavioral pattern of an angry person.
He watches you and your life carefully. After all, having learned something interesting or even piquant, at the right moment it can all be used against you. By the way, even the most experienced bad guy can openly show his essence. For example, lashing out at you over some nonsense or ruining some of your things.
Inside the hidden enemy, aggression and anger accumulate day after day. Sooner or later it will have to spill out, and then you will definitely be convinced of who is who. The saddest thing is that the enemy may be your close friend or even a relative. However, the latter option is found everywhere.
Suffice it to remember how often daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law quarrel, for example. Of course, we are slowly getting rid of this stereotype. However, unfortunately, it is sometimes very easy to fall out of favor with your husband’s mother. But it is sometimes simply impossible to explain why this happened.
Anyone can be an enemy
The main defense against evil people is never an attack. “Forewarned is forearmed” works much better in this case. Knowing what traits ill-wishers have, you can immediately identify such people in your environment. Of course, it is better to protect yourself from communicating with them, as it will not bring anything good.
Intuition
Deep down you always know the truth. Trust your feelings. Remember how you feel when you return home after meeting a friend. If you look like a squeezed lemon, then this is an alarm bell. Most likely you are dealing with an unkind and envious person. He tries with all his might to prick you, put pressure on you, or simply brags about his achievements in order to “put you down”.
