Greetings, dear readers of the blog avisi.ru! At a certain period of life, mutual love for many becomes the main goal, the meaning of their life. To achieve this goal, the approach must be as competent and responsible as possible.
THE MAGIC OF THE LOOK or HOW TO MAKE ANY MAN FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH ONE LOOK?
The psychology of a man is the psychology of a winner and breadwinner. The psychology of a man is sometimes much more complex than most women are used to thinking. A wise woman who understands male psychology is able to raise her Napoleon, give birth to children from him and live a happy life.
Psychology is involved in solving not only scientific problems, but also helps specific teams, families, and individuals develop in real life. But there is a problem that has existed and, most likely, will exist until gender differences disappear - mutual understanding between men and women.
It is no secret that when conducting a dialogue, he and she often cannot come to a common decision. And the point here is not only that “women are from Venus and men are from Mars,” but about structural differences in the brain.
Evolutionary differences between the sexes
Initially, nature laid down, over millions of years, different purposes for women and men, and it is pointless to fight what evolution has given us. It is necessary to understand and accept the differences between men and women. Here are a few sharp corners, knowing which a woman can understand a man’s psychology and competently and painlessly solve any problem in a relationship:
1. Reaction to stress. When faced with a problem, a man thinks about it, becomes silent, focused, and inattentive to others. A woman, having found herself in trouble, will certainly rush to talk about it, to talk, as she is overwhelmed with emotions.
2. Motivation. A man must be sure that he is the best earner and the well-being of the family depends on his success; the main driving force is “I am first.” A woman is devoid of such strong ambitions; the approval of a friend or partner is enough for her to move on.
3. The word is one, but the meaning is different. We do not have telepathic abilities, so the true meaning of spoken words is often perceived completely incorrectly by us.
4. Family expectations. It is important for a man to maintain the status of a successful person by satisfying his sexual desire. For a woman, family is a guarantee that children will grow up and pass on the genome to future generations.
5. Love. If you conduct a simple experiment between spouses and ask them the question: “How do you understand that your husband/wife loves you,” you will get different answers (if people are honest). A man will focus on sex, a woman will focus on caring for the family. There is no injustice or contradiction here. We have evolved this way and social laws affect us only indirectly.
6. Expression of feelings. A man is concrete by nature. If he chooses a gift, he focuses on the price, then, in proud silence, he hands over the diamond and is surprised if he could not impress with its size. A woman can be touched by a teddy bear if the gift is associated with kisses, gentle words and caresses.
Features of male psychology
The psychology of a man contains animal instincts. And don’t be afraid of such a “crude” comparison. Thanks to society, we are able to restrain natural instincts, and even then this is very conditional (no one has canceled reproduction, the struggle for food and dominance).
Women sometimes think that men are primitive, their desires are simple, their actions are transparent, but this is not so. We will proceed from the average option, since both women and men may or may not have intelligence.
What do women need to know about the special psyche of men? Boys need to be first, and it doesn’t matter whether he is the best builder of sand cakes or the fastest fastener of shoes, wins the Mathematical Olympiad or spits the furthest in the yard. The main thing is to become a leader. The leadership component runs like a red thread through the entire life of a “right” man.
A man lives by the principle: if he is not the first at work, he will stake the territory of the house. A competent friend in life will find something to praise for: for the best brewed tea, for the fact that he irons his trousers more thoroughly than anyone else, or magically puts the children to bed. It is important for a man to know that he is succeeding in some area, that he has succeeded as a person, then he is satisfied with himself.
There is no need to run after a mammoth now, but striving to get a good salary is everyone’s dream. He needs a car as powerful as a beast; he always catches huge fish. Dear ladies, remember, for a man to become successful, you need to cherish and help him be or seem better.
There is no sadder sight than a weak-willed henpecked man. We won’t go into the broken childhood of such a child, but the wife had a chance to help the person feel like an individual, and not bury him deeper. In such a family there is no happiness for anyone, neither the aggressive woman, nor the passive man, nor the children who fall into the millstones of such upbringing.
A man is stubborn by nature, it is useless to argue with him. A wise woman, knowing that she is right, will not enter into a discussion; she will take a conciliatory position, but with calm and methodical actions she will get the result she needs.
The reaction of men is always harsher, the arguments are well-reasoned, and the behavior is spontaneous. For women who are not accustomed to specific concepts and actions, the behavior seems “unromantic.” A woman “loves with her ears” is not a metaphor, but a biological component. The organ of hearing in women is located near the reproductive center, so love for her is words, kisses, and a man is programmed for sex without foreplay.
How can a man correctly use femininity in his character?
In behavior, a passive-feminine character is manifested by compliance, gentleness and politeness. In the modern world, these qualities can be useful. Gone are the days when, to achieve success in society, it was enough to have big muscles and fight for the largest piece of meat for the family with your fists. Today, money is made through the ability to communicate with people, courtesy, observation and insight.
So a feminine guy can be an excellent provider and a wonderful family man, especially if he is complemented by a confident and practical wife. There are also a lot of determined ladies with a masculine character, so each product has its own buyer. Difficulties arise when a person is unable to defend his point of view, position and beliefs, and bends to the circumstances.
There is nothing wrong with feminine traits. Another thing is how to use them. Unfulfilled plans and lost opportunities turn a shy person into a domestic tyrant. Such men can be courteous and timid when communicating with higher-ranking officials, but then take it out on loved ones. In order to at least somehow assert themselves, they show their “masculinity” or its remnants where no one will fight back and will not be able to trample their self-esteem even deeper into the mud.
Appeal
When a woman loves, she takes pleasure in taking care of a man, feeding him delicious food, and taking care of his clothes. When her beloved is happy, she is in a good mood. But sometimes a woman goes too far, starting to treat a man like a child, especially in public. “Pusya”, “cat” is not the best way to address an adult man, because anyone imagines himself as a tiger and is ready to bite off the hand that feeds him. But this is a man’s nature - he is the breadwinner and the owner.
It is important for a man that a woman sees him as strong and listens to him. He expects that what is said will be done right away, although for women “now” can drag on for a long time; one must not only “think”, but also tune in to completing the task. The man doesn’t need to “tune in”, he’s precise: they said it, they did it. Therefore, when a woman does not do something right away, it causes confusion, although the problem is easy to solve. I need to tell my husband, partner, friend that it is impossible to do “now”, but when I cook, clean up, return from the store, I will definitely do it.
When a man is about to talk to a woman about business, two different views on life are included. A man offers a solution to a problem and wants to hear either an alternative option or approval, but not emotional feelings about this. Therefore, if a man wants to talk about a problem, the woman must be given the instruction: “Let’s talk about business,” and then she will be able to control her emotions while dealing with a specific task.
Lack of adaptation to real life
However, one should not categorically say that an effeminate man is a more elevated form of life than an ordinary guy who loves to tinker under the hood of a car in his garage and drink beer with friends. There are people who are overly narcissistic and have little capacity for love for anyone other than themselves, exalting their own beauty and imaginary superiority over the people around them.
Such a person thinks that he is too beautiful for the grey, trash-filled city streets and clogged public transport, that his exalted mental organization allows him to look down on those around him and parasitize on them.
It is usually difficult to explain to such people that in order to eat and pay for utilities, they need to work. And sometimes it can even be working at a construction site or as a cashier in a supermarket. And they periodically come to this, because at a time when ordinary people are fussing and making plans for the future, a nice guy thinks that his external characteristics, charm, sense of humor and uniqueness will certainly not allow him to end up on the street.
But then the harsh realities of life emerge from the fog of illusion. Guys with feminine appearance at such moments turn into pretentious cynics and fatalists, disillusioned with life, geniuses not recognized by society, ideal against the backdrop of a cruel world. Instead of changing something, they prefer to blame others for what happened.
Talk about nothing
Talking about anything is incomprehensible to a man. A woman can talk for a long time about a friend’s new dress, about a colleague’s vacation in Bali, about the Petrov’s renovation. She dreams out loud and this makes her feel better, while the man perceives all the information with bewilderment. “Does he want a new dress? I would say so,” he thinks.
A man does not understand the meaning of a woman’s emotional word mixer; he needs simple answers to questions. The trouble with women is that they speak in hints and believe that all men are telepaths and should guess what they want to say. This is nonsense. Women, if you want to be understood, learn to clearly express your thoughts and voice them.
A simple example.
She:
— Inga and Vadim submitted an application to the registry office.
He:
- Great, let's go for a walk at the wedding.
For him, this is ordinary information, nothing more. For her, there is a hidden subtext: “When will we?” Not receiving the expected reaction, the girl is offended, cries and wonders if he really didn’t understand what she wanted to say. As trivial as it is, he didn’t understand, he only heard what you said. If you want to be understood, learn to formulate your thoughts clearly.
Creator
He is so romantic, creative and vulnerable. Such men can rush from one extreme to another. Today he cries, tomorrow he laughs and walks. A creative person really needs emotions. And not always positive. He needs to get inspired.
If a girl wants to associate herself with such a man, she needs to think: can she be Galatea and inspire her lover all the time. Creative individuals are not permanent. They need a change of scenery, and as a result, girls are included in this number.
Specifics
When a man asks for help, he says specifically: “Please give me the hammer.” The woman will not only bring the tool, but will also give a bunch of tips on how to nail a nail correctly. And so it is in everything. It is clear that she acts with the best intentions, but the advice encroaches on a man’s self-sufficiency, belittling his ability to make decisions on his own.
Be wiser, help only when you are asked, or leave the right to choose. “I would do it that way, but you know better how to do it.” The man received clear instructions and the right to choose at the same time! Be smart and you will be able to avoid misunderstandings and quarrels. It seems that this approach is difficult and it is not always possible to resolve differences peacefully. But this is at first glance! Start practicing and see how easy things will become.
A man and a woman live on different wavelengths, but there is a point that is common to all: no one likes to be ignored or refuse a request. It is worth learning from the Japanese, where it is not customary to say “no”. The word instantly negatively affects the dialogue and turns people aggressively against each other. It’s better to think for a moment and replace the denial with neutral words: I’ll think about it, let’s return to the question later, it’s difficult for me to do this...
A man painfully experiences a situation when he was wrong and the woman took the lead. “I told you so,” completely kills. Psychologically, it turns out that a woman worries less about failures; she can wave her hand, shrug her shoulders, cry too much and forget. The stronger sex will worry for a long time, silently, severely punishing themselves, and if at the same time a woman constantly reminds of the mistake, then every time she will hammer a nail into the relationship. Dear ladies, do not forget: a man has the right to make mistakes just like you!
It is difficult to build relationships with complete strangers, but knowing the basic differences in psychology, a woman, due to her flexibility of character and mind, is able to create a strong family, where roles are arranged in accordance with gender differences.
Stereotypes
There are a large number of stereotypes in society. Sometimes it is believed that an effeminate man is one who does not watch football with a bottle of beer in his hand and would rather go to the theater than go fishing. There was an opinion that the standard was James Bond in a smart suit with a pistol, or at least a bad guy with stubble and a motorcycle in a smoky leather jacket.
Subconsciously and instinctively, girls pay attention to self-confident and sometimes even arrogant men, and the “feminine guy” stamp is attached to any quiet person for whom the pleasure of testing muscles and fighting for territory seems dubious.
Lyrical digression towards women
A woman, despite all the arguments of feminists, is not equal to a man. And the fight for rights looks a little strange, no one is eager for the right to wave a pick, but to lead and command is welcome. Therefore, let’s not deceive ourselves, a woman is physically weaker, her brain weighs less, the tasks and methods of realization of men and women are very different.
Dear ladies, stop competing with men, rather support them in competing with each other. They are brave and decisive, but without female recognition and help they will not reach the top of Olympus. If you don’t see a man in your husband, your partner’s friend, and constantly humiliate and reproach him, then he will either become a silent, squashy, or an aggressive antisocial element. Is this what you are trying to achieve?
If not, then leave behind reproaches, swearing, insults and learn to enjoy what a man “got while hunting,” because he is trying for the sake of you and the children. Your task is to learn to use this and praise him for his courage, intelligence, ingenuity and perseverance. A man needs victories, and a woman needs their results. Everything is simple and logical.
On the political sidelines they say: “Every people deserves its own government.” To paraphrase, let's say: “Every woman deserves her man.” If you want to see a real gentleman nearby, loving, respectful, meet the standards yourself.
Don’t turn into a soft-bodied whore who is bullied by relatives, colleagues and friends, but don’t become a desperate bitch by reading Sherry Argov’s “I Want to Be a Bitch.” Finding a middle ground is difficult, but possible. It’s not for nothing that women have evolved for so long, grown their limbic system, and passed it on as a bonus to men!
Dear women, take care of the psychological comfort and health of your man, and then he, your beloved man, will treat you well, take care of you and, of course, will love you.
Formation of an effeminate character
Feminine character traits are manifested in people who were raised exclusively by grandmothers, mothers, aunts and sisters. There was no one to give them an example of masculine behavior. Mothers often do not allow their children to fight, climb trees, or get involved in fun mischief. If a boy is taught to sit quietly on the sidelines because the world is full of danger, there is a high probability that he will not crawl out of his cozy nest at 20, 30, or 40 years old.
It is sometimes useful for children to beat their knees on the asphalt or tear their sneakers while playing football. This is truly a small price to pay for the life experience gained. When your mother talks about everything, she acquires the status of an authority, and then it is extremely difficult to get rid of overprotection, start doing something yourself, get out from under her wing, and even more so take responsibility for your own family.
Parents sometimes protect us from everything except their own care. While building a protective wall around the child, the mother sometimes does not notice how the barricade turns into a cage.
As a result, the young man develops an effeminate character. Instead of solving difficult situations and coping with them, he avoids them, prefers to settle for worse living conditions rather than take risks and achieve the desired heights. Such people often don’t even make plans because they don’t believe in turning them into reality. For them, improvements always hover somewhere in the realm of fantasy, an impossible dream, too good to be true.
We must remember one thing - we are different
The world of women is a world of words, emotions, relationships. A man’s possessions are actions, difficult decisions, analysis of the situation. Ideally, the stronger sex has:
- high self-esteem and dominance;
- less sensitivity and anxiety;
- self-control;
- strong will;
- craving for change and experimentation.
However, men also have weaknesses, they are less stress-resistant, which is why they need intimacy with an intelligent and understanding girlfriend.
A man is an experimenter, which is why everything that women use is owed to men. They invent and design something that did not exist before, while a woman likes to use a ready-made thing.
Therefore, when your husband is interested in technical models, repairs a car, assembles a motorcycle, or invents an engine for a boat, you should not “cut” him. This is his essence, is it really so difficult to understand and accept? Dear ladies, hobbies bring families together. It is clear that you will not help in creating a new car, but you will be able to ride it!
Hidden Ambitions
Representatives of the stronger sex want to feel like they are masters of the situation, and if they do not succeed in this in the business and social sphere, they may use the most ridiculous ways to establish their own importance. However, from the outside it looks like the barking of a small dog that will never actually bite.
Hidden aggression may be hidden behind external humility. It’s not for nothing that they say that quiet crazy people are much more dangerous than violent ones, because you can’t recognize them at first glance. A person must give free rein to his feelings.
Feminine character is often formed due to hidden fears of failure. It’s better not to try to do anything at all than to disgrace yourself in front of everyone. Masculinity is, first of all, the ability to go towards your goal and achieve it at any cost. If the absence of these traits causes discomfort to a person, closes the door to promising achievements in front of him, stops him from taking steps towards his dreams, they work with a psychotherapist who helps to get rid of complexes and open his masculine “I”, to believe in himself.
