The modern world, which broadcasts freedom of speech, opinions and views, requires the development of such a skill as sensitivity to negative opinions expressed from the outside. It is especially important to treat corrective feedback correctly, because it helps the person receiving it to become better.
The ability to correctly perceive criticism addressed to oneself is not an easy experience for most people. Although no one wants to hear about their mistakes, those around them are still happy to share their vision and perspective on each of them. Taking constructive feedback in stride will help you become a better person and improve the skills you need [Psychology Today, 2018].
In this article we will talk about how to react correctly and calmly to criticism, so as not to allow emotions such as disappointment, resentment or anger to take over the mind and ruin relationships with loved ones.
Why do people criticize
Receiving unflattering assessments is not easy, to put it mildly. Once again you don’t even want to talk about something - then you’ll end up with a tub of negativity. Why do people tend to criticize?
Criticism is usually divided into constructive and destructive . The constructive goal is to correct shortcomings and mistakes (for example, a loved one does this out of love). The goal of the opposite is to offend, cause negative emotions, and ultimately offend. Even if it contains truthful words, they are presented in a harsh manner, and it becomes offensive.
As a rule, the behavior of critics can be explained by the following reasons:
- An attempt to cover up envy, anger, irritation or other negative feelings and emotions.
- Problems in life and the desire to take out your anger on another person.
- There is an unmet need, and you act as an irritant.
- The desire to assert oneself at your expense.
- Excusing your own failures.
- Compensating for your own self-doubt.
- Narcissism or the desire to assert one’s status.
Why does criticism hurt us?
Because negative assessments make us feel angry and resentful. We understand that our efforts are not appreciated, and we ourselves are considered worse than we are. Most of all, criticism hurts perfectionists and vulnerable people with low self-esteem. Perfectionists strive to do everything A+ the first time and want to be perfect in literally everything. This doesn’t happen in life, you have to take it for granted. As they say, even the sun has spots. Moreover, constructive comments are a unique opportunity for development, and reacting to all the negativity is not enough for any life. People with low self-esteem . On the one hand, low self-esteem should stimulate and move forward, but on the other hand, a person begins to take all comments (even those that don’t particularly concern him) personally. Such experiences take a lot of strength and energy, so it is very important to learn how to respond correctly to criticism so that it does not unsettle you.
What's stopping you from becoming rich?
Ekaterina Sigitova
The previous manual “How to Criticize Correctly” very clearly highlighted the problem, the appearance of which, of course, was to be expected. A huge number of people cannot, simply are not able to adequately respond to even the most constructive and friendly criticism. Why? Yes, because it hurts them a lot every time. That is, the manual, of course, made their life a little easier, because it became clear that it makes sense to flush some criticism down the toilet instead of wasting your nerves on it. But what to do with correct criticism? Especially if she is important to you. What to do if you need feedback, but even careful and gentle comments make you cringe worse than sciatica, and you completely lose motivation and generally the will to live?
I decided to write a second manual. About how to take criticism if you have big problems with it. It should certainly be useful to no fewer people than the first
