What is vanity, how does it affect a person and others

Vanity from a psychological point of view

The reasons for vanity lie in childhood. Psychologists believe that when forming self-esteem, an important criterion is the recognition of the child by the parents and how they evaluate certain achievements of the child. Excessive praise negatively affects the further perception of oneself as a person; inadequate inflated self-esteem leads to the emergence of vanity. Can a person recognize “star fever” in himself? There are signs of vanity:

• pleasure from flattery;
• the desire to spin events around one’s own person;
• aggressive response to any criticism (constructive, non-constructive);
• excessive talkativeness, at odds with actions (discrepancy between speaking and doing);
• eccentric behavior.

Vanity

What does a vain person mean?

Perceiving oneself as an individual is a complex process associated with emotions, their excess or deficiency against the background of improper upbringing when there are no norms and prohibitions and permissiveness develops. A vain person is a person who is bright at first glance and attracts people’s attention. The Austrian psychiatrist A. Adler spoke of a vain person as being filled with himself to the extent that there is simply no room for others. How vanity manifests itself:

1. Feelings and thoughts are put on display - the internal state may differ from the external manifestation (the goal is to capture as much of the audience as possible for attention).
2. Humiliation of another person in order to feel superior (more pronounced in women).
3. The desire to do good deeds and tell others how “good I am.”
4. The dominant need for “stardom” is without knowing the meaning of an activity, a profession in which success is important for a person (success for the sake of success).
5. Envy of those who have achieved something in life.

See also: What is DISCRIMINATION. Causes, signs and types

Make a comparison

A very effective way to remove the pinching crown is to compare your own successes with someone else. For example, someone began to look down on people because of their own impressive salary. Let him imagine the emotions on the face of Bill Gates, the richest man on the planet, whose fortune is estimated at $75 billion if you tell him your monthly income. It's unlikely to be admiration.

No matter how impressive our achievements are, there will always be someone who can easily rub our nose in the face.

This must be remembered every time you want to take a photo of your proud winner’s profile and put it in a frame: in our world everything is relative.

Is vanity good or bad?

Any phenomenon has positive and negative aspects. What is human vanity and are there any good points in it - from the point of view of practical benefits? There are more negative aspects, but there are also positive aspects of vanity:

• helps to achieve success and recognition (especially in show business);
• is a trigger for any human endeavor: studying at a prestigious institution, career advancement.

What is vanity on the negative side:

• The main problem with vanity is that a person does not benefit society and is fixated only on himself.
• It is difficult for vain people to be in full-fledged relationships with loved ones: with their arrogance, arrogance and arrogance they push people away.
• There is practically no spiritual development; in extreme cases, a person can go into a state of megalomania (personal psychopathology), when he imagines himself to be omnipotent.

Signs of manifestation

Every person wants his successes and achievements to be recognized by society. This need is considered basic, and if it is not satisfied, problems begin. For example, a diligent student studies well for the sake of self-development. At the same time, his classmates may try to satisfy their vanity.

Let's look at the traits of a vain personality.

• Such a person loves to flatter. He does this as often as possible in order to obtain certain benefits from people through deception.
• Such people react sharply to even minor criticism. They are irritated by comments from outsiders, even if they are fully justified and voiced in detail.
• Constant criticism comes from vain people. Any misdemeanor, mistake or mistake of others becomes a reason for discussion.
• They often talk about their achievements and plans for the future. It seems that such people do not act, but only talk.
• Such individuals do good deeds, but not at the behest of their hearts, but for the sake of their own benefit or recognition from others.
• In real life, actions on the part of vain people do not bring any practical benefit.
• They want to look successful and advantageous in the eyes of others.
• During the dialogue, vain individuals draw attention to themselves without noticing the interlocutor.

Ambition and vanity - differences

A person’s desire to be the best in various social spheres is respected. Being a wonderful doctor, teacher, taking your profession with full responsibility and becoming an example for others is what distinguishes ambition from vanity, which is characterized by “empty” drawing attention to one’s person. Ambition and vanity - there is a fine line between them, when one quality can transform into another: at the same time, a person begins to boast about his past merits and how much useful, in his opinion, he has done for society.

Is wealth a sin?

We found out what love of money is. Now let's think about whether it is a sin to be rich?

Let's start with how this wealth is earned. Let's say two businessmen live. One conducts his business honestly. And the second one dodges, looks for “left” sources of income, offends his employees with wages, their working conditions are slave-like. And at the same time, this businessman thinks only about profit. What can you give to a beggar or someone simply in need? He's tired of red caviar for breakfast, give him diamonds. And my wife needs a new car. And not for three million, but for six.

The first businessman does not have any “left” income. He pays his workers good wages and takes care of comfortable working conditions for them. He eats simply, does not chase expensive cars, the tenth apartment or the fifteenth mansion. He donates money to the church and helps those who need it. He gives part of the money to the orphanage, strictly making sure that these funds reach the children and not end up in the employees’ pockets.

It seems like two people, two businessmen. Only the first is not attached to material goods, and the second suffers from the love of money. Wealth is not useful to him and will not bring anything good.

How to get rid of vanity?

As soon as a person realizes that he is captive of his own importance and dependence on flattery, recognition by others, and is fighting for the attention of the team, a huge amount of mental and psychological work remains to overcome himself. How to deal with vanity - a few recommendations from psychologists:

1. Pragmatism is a quality that, within reasonable limits, helps to eradicate vanity and not rest on the laurels of success once achieved.
2. Compare your successes with the successes of other people - remember that there is always someone smarter, prettier, more successful.
3. Take an example from famous people who, in their success, were not subject to vanity: Mother Teresa, Muhammad Ali, Keanu Reeves - modest personalities with a worldwide reputation
4. Sharing victories and achievements means that success comes from the participation of other people in a person’s life. Acceptance of this fact and gratitude to parents and teachers encountered along the path of life help to get out of a state of vanity.
5. G.D. Roberts, an Australian writer, in his novel The Shadow of the Mountain, expressed the idea of ​​​​how much usefulness can be gained by simply bowing your head and kneeling sometimes - a good exercise against vanity.

See also: What is XENOPHOBIA in the modern world

Add-ons from various sources

The shortest confession
Sins against the Lord God

Belief in dreams, fortune telling, meetings and other signs. Doubts about faith. Laziness towards prayer and absent-mindedness during it. Not going to Church, long absence from confession and Holy Communion. Hypocrisy in Divine Worship. Blasphemy or just murmuring against God in the soul and in words. The intention to raise your hands. In vain. An unfulfilled promise to God. Blasphemy of the sacred. Anger with mention of evil spirits (trait). Eating or drinking on Sundays and holidays before the end of the Liturgy. Violation of fasts or inaccurate observance of them is a work issue on holidays.

Sins against one's neighbor

Lack of diligence in one's position or one's work in the dormitory. Disrespect for superiors or elders. Failure to fulfill a promise to a person. Non-payment of debts. Taking by force or secret appropriation of someone else's property. Stinginess in alms. Personal insult to one's neighbor. Gossip. Slander. Cursing others. Unnecessary suspicions. Failure to protect an innocent person or a just cause with loss for them. Murder. Disrespect for parents. Failure to look after children with Christian care. Anger is hostility in family or home life.

Sins against yourself

Idle or bad thoughts in the soul. Desires evil for one's neighbor. Falsity of words, speech. Irritability. Obstinacy or pride. Envy. Hard-heartedness. Sensitivity to upsets or insults. Vengeance. Love of money. Passion for pleasure. Foul language. The songs are seductive. Drunkenness and heavy eating. Fornication. Adultery. Unnatural fornication. Not fixing your life.

Of all these sins against the Ten Commandments of God, some, reaching the highest stage of development in a person, passing into vicious states and hardening his heart with unrepentance, are recognized as especially serious and contrary to God.

Mortal sins

, that is, making a person guilty of eternal death or destruction:

1. Pride, despising everyone, demanding servility from others, ready to ascend to heaven and become like the Most High: in a word - pride to the point of self-adoration.

2. An insatiable soul, or Judas’s greed for money, combined for the most part with unrighteous acquisitions, not allowing a person even a minute to think about spiritual things.

3. Fornication, or the dissolute life of the prodigal son, who squandered all his father’s estate on such a life.

4. Envy, leading to every possible crime against one’s neighbor.

5. Gluttony or carnal knowledge, not knowing any fasting, combined with a passionate attachment to various amusements, following the example of the Evangelical rich man, who had fun all day long.

6. Uncompromising anger and resolving to terrible destruction, following the example of Herod, who in his anger beat the Bethlehem babies.

7. Laziness, or complete carelessness about the soul, carelessness about repentance until the last days of life, such as in the days of Noah.

Sins of Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit

Excessive trust in God or continuation of a gravely sinful life in the sole hope of God’s mercy.

Despair or the feeling opposite to excessive trust in God in relation to God’s mercy, which denies the fatherly goodness in God and leads to thoughts of suicide.

Stubborn unbelief, not convinced by any evidence of truth, even obvious miracles, rejecting the most established truth.

Sins crying out to heaven for vengeance

In general, intentional homicide (abortion), and especially parricide (fratricide and regicide).

Sin of Sodom.

Unnecessary oppression of a poor, defenseless person, a defenseless widow and young orphans.

Withholding from a wretched worker the wages he deserves.

Taking away from a person in his extreme situation the last piece of bread or the last mite, which he obtained with sweat and blood, as well as the forcible or secret appropriation of alms, food, warmth or clothing from prisoners in prison, which are determined by him, and generally oppressing them.

Sadness and insults to parents to the point of daring beatings.

The end and glory to God.

What is vanity in Orthodoxy?

Why is vanity a sin in the Orthodox tradition? In the famous film “The Devil’s Advocate,” Al Pacino’s hero utters words in which he admits that vanity is one of his, the Devil’s, favorite sins. The soul of a vain person is defenseless against the temptations of dark forces. Holy Fathers on vanity:

• Vanity thoughts come from the Devil, but never from God.
• Vanity manifests itself in indignation at loved ones that they live an unrighteous life, instead of being imbued with compassion and asking God to guide a loved one on the righteous path.
• Whoever does and says something for the sake of worldly glory alone is vain (St. Basil the Great).
• The soul of vanity is a waterless pit (St. Evagrius).
• Vanity is like a rushing wind - it scatters all the treasures of virtue (St. John Chrysostom).

How to overcome vanity - Orthodoxy

Vanity is a sin that devours the work of a person’s soul. Orthodox priests pay great attention to purity of thoughts and everyday actions - this is a huge amount of work on the path to God. The fight against vanity and pride includes:

• humility;
• modesty;
• acting with love and respect for everything;
• doing good deeds without anyone around you knowing;
• prayers for help in getting rid of temptations;
• Confession to a priest.

Vanity

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Based on materials from womanadvice.ru