What is vanity from a psychological point of view: 6 signs and 6 reasons

Almost every person at least once in his life has encountered vain people who are accustomed to reveling in their own recognition and universal popularity. It is not without reason that vanity is considered a negative character trait, and in Orthodoxy it is one of the main deadly sins inherent in humanity. However, among experts there is another point of view, according to which this character trait can become an excellent assistant on the path to a successful career and self-realization.

Vanity - a vice or a virtue for a person?

What is vanity

Many people don't know the correct meaning of the word vanity. The term vanity comes from two words “futility” and “glory”. One of the greatest researchers of the Russian language V.I. Dahl described this character trait as a person’s desire for all kinds of honors and praise, empty glory and recognition of even the most imaginary, and sometimes non-existent, merits. This problem has become especially relevant in modern society, where almost every person strives to climb to the top of the pedestal not in the most kind and good ways.

Quite often talented, creative and public people become victims of vanity.

It is quite easy to spot such a person among the crowd, because he always strives to be at the epicenter of attention and discussion. Thus, this trait can mean both a positive and a negative side of a personality.

What it is

Many directions consider what vanity is and, despite the difference in approaches of religion and psychology, social and philosophical sciences, the perception of this quality remains uniform in the section of shortcomings. Moreover, due to many personality traits that are objectionable only to one person, vanity causes harm to both the person and the environment. In many ways, a vain person is not even aware of his problems, since the mechanisms that trigger such an attitude towards the world are largely subconscious. As a result, significant personal connections may be destroyed, career development and other social aspects of life may be stalled, while the individual herself, missing out on her contribution, is at a loss, not knowing what to do.

Empty vanity implies undeserved praise, regardless of the initial level. Thus, an artist whose exhibition once thundered throughout the world will expect the same worship for all his works, even if they do not contain an objective element of creativity. But a person whose self-esteem is inflated can expect applause and admiration from any of his steps, even in professional activities where he does not have minimal knowledge.

Vanity functions through an increase in other shortcomings, for example, when a person does not see the desired response from others, he can begin to use boasting and lies, and in order to provide himself with a constant supply of positive emotions, he surrounds himself with liars and flatterers. This way of existence ultimately turns out to be quite frustrating, because flatterers usually look for their own benefit and will leave at an unfavorable opportunity, and their own lies and boasting can destroy the last sincere connections.

In fact, it may seem that vanity moves a person towards development and achievement, because these people do not forgive themselves for their mistakes and want to show good results in any area. This is a claim to ideality, where ambition is so high that it is impossible to achieve without being a fairy-tale character or deity. High-ranking positions, dancing skills, energy levels and ability in molecular chemistry - all this should be on top (or at least so others should claim). So it turns out that vanity is quite suitable as a driver for the beginning of new achievements and aspirations, but it does not stop even after, changing a person’s entire life.

What does a vain person mean?

Many experts are of the opinion that at first glance, a vain person is a bright and extraordinary person who stands out among the crowd and attracts the attention of others. However, the narcissism of such a person can fill his inner space to such an extent that there is simply no free space left for others.

How can this character trait manifest itself?

1. Vain attempts to flaunt one's own feelings and emotions in order to capture as much attention as possible.
2. Humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person, allowing you to feel your own superiority.
3. A constant desire to share your own merits and advantages with others.
4. The dominant need for empty success, stardom and publicity.
5. Dependence on other people's opinions.

People who are characterized by vanity try their best to hide their own shortcomings and become aggressive when someone allows themselves to point them out.

A sign of vanity is the inability to accept criticism and comments.

The key point of vanity is that a person does not try to become better; his only goal is universal recognition and a feeling of personal superiority. For such people, the only thing that matters is how they look in the eyes of others, and not how much it corresponds to reality.

Part 11. Vanity

Vanity is the desire for vain, that is, vain, empty glory. Why empty, vain? After all, people sometimes strive for a really very high position in society; their ambitions are limitless.

The word “vain” also means “perishable, fleeting.” Any earthly glory, in comparison with what the Lord has prepared for those who love Him, is only dust and ashes, steam rising from the ground and immediately disappearing. But earthly glory is futile not only on the scale of eternity. Even in the short period of our earthly life, fame, high position, position, fame are the most unreliable and short-lived things. But, nevertheless, many people strive for fame, honor and respect. And some make an idol out of it, turning vanity into an end in itself. But not only those who are completely obsessed with this passion suffer from vanity. Unfortunately, vanity is inherent in all of us to varying degrees. Everyone wants to look better in their own eyes, and most importantly, in the eyes of others, better than they really are. Any of us is pleased when he is praised, appreciated, and not scolded. Almost everyone strives to occupy a significant position in the society in which they move. But this is not what the Lord teaches us.

One day the mother of the sons of Zebedee and her sons came to Christ, bowing and asking Him for something. He said to her: “What do you want?” She says to Him: “Tell that these two sons of mine may sit with You, one on Your right hand and the other on Your left in Your Kingdom.” Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I will drink, or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” They tell Him: “We can.” And he says to them: “You will drink My cup, and you will be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized, but to let you sit on My right side and on My left does not depend on Me, but on whom My Father has prepared.” Hearing this, the other ten disciples were indignant at the two brothers. Jesus, calling them, said: “You know that the princes of the nations rule over them, and the nobles rule over them; but let it not be like this between you: who wants to be between you ?

the greatest may be your servant; and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; for the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:20–28).

Neither this woman nor the apostles knew yet what the Lord must endure in earthly life. They, like all the Jews of that time, imagined the Messiah as an earthly king who would free them from the hated Roman rule and restore the kingdom of Israel, where he would give the Jews power and privileges.

Vanity, hidden and obvious

Vanity can be a passion, the meaning of life, or it can be small, everyday, but this does not mean that it is not dangerous, because a mighty tree grows from a small seed, and a big river “begins from a blue stream.”

Often in confession one can observe such a picture. A man comes who has been going to church his entire adult life and begins to seem to confess, but apparently not: “Yes, I, of course, am a sinner (like everyone else) in this, that, and that. In word, deed and thought, but this is all by pure chance, by misunderstanding, but in general I am an exemplary Christian, I go to church, read the Gospel, and do good deeds.” Moreover, such a person naturally knows that passage from the Gospel of Luke, which is read in church on the Sunday of the Publican and the Pharisee, before Great Lent. The Pharisee says about himself: “God! I thank You that I am not like other people, robbers, offenders, adulterers, or like this tax collector: I fast twice a week, I give a tenth of everything I get” (Luke 18:11-12), but to He, of course, does not attribute these gospel words to himself. Or a similar situation: an elderly woman in confession names a sin, for example: “I’m irritated, angry,” and then describes in all the details how and who pushed her to this sin: “Well, how can you not sin here, again the son-in-law came drunk, I couldn’t take out the trash, so we had a fight. But I’m good, and anyway it’s not me, but he angered me.” Such a confession, of course, will not bring any benefit. Because it is built on vanity. A person is afraid, even at the lectern, in front of the priest, to appear even a little worse than he thinks to himself. But before God we will not appear purer than we are!

In such situations, everything is clear even to young priests: a person is in captivity of petty vanity, afraid of damaging his name (or, as it is now fashionable to say, image) of a pious Christian or a zealous parishioner: God forbid he says something unnecessary that could be thrown at him shadow and change your opinion about him.

Saint Ignatius (Brianchaninov) says that one of the manifestations of vanity is “shame to confess one’s sins, hiding them before people and the spiritual father. Cunning, self-justification."

Why did the holy fathers, ascetics, who seemingly conquered all passions, see their sins as countless as the sand of the sea? Precisely because they overcame vanity and acquired humility. There was no need for them to appear in their own eyes and in the eyes of other people less sinful than they were. Approaching God, they saw themselves as insignificant before the greatness of the Creator. Do you remember how Abba Dorotheos asked one of the noble citizens of the town of Gaza: who will he consider himself to be when he approaches the emperor of the Byzantine Empire? And he answered: “Almost a poor man.” The closer a person is to God, the more objectively he evaluates himself.

Let us move from hidden, secret vanity to open vanity. Vanity is a very powerful motivator that helps people achieve great success. Let's look at the so-called “stars”, famous people whose activities are related to art, show business or sports. These people almost always serve the idol of vanity. They place the best years of their life, health, family happiness, and motherhood on the altar of this deity. Everything that is usually of great value to a person is sacrificed to vanity. All for the sake of one thing: to stay a little longer on the crest of glory, to bask in its rays. A famous opera singer, who recently divorced his wife, was asked what was higher for him: family or career, success; he confidently replied that he would even sacrifice his family for the sake of growth in his profession. Singing and music are the most important things in life for him. The Monk Ambrose of Optina said correctly: “Where there is a voice, there is a demon.” The devil of vanity.

What about professional sports? This is sheer vanity. Childhood, youth, health, all free time is given over to hanging a gold-plated or silver-plated circle made of far from precious metal on the chest. Superhuman efforts are being made, the body is working for wear and tear. I had to communicate with professional athletes, almost every night is torture for them, their whole body, all old injuries and fractures begin to hurt. There is even a joke: “If an athlete doesn’t have any pain in the morning, it means he’s already dead.” And how much intrigue, envy and crime there are around show business, sports and politics!

If a person is already rooted in the passion of vanity, he cannot live without fame, life loses all meaning. Aging “stars” take advantage of any scandal, even directing and creating it themselves, in order to stay at the top of the star Olympus for at least a couple more years. Although, it would seem, everything that was possible has already been achieved, all awards, titles, regalia, and wealth have been received. Vanity is a drug, without it their life is impossible. Vanity goes hand in hand with envy. The vain person does not tolerate competition or rivalry. He is always the first and only. And if someone is ahead of him in something, black envy begins to gnaw at him.

It is very difficult to communicate with a person who is vain, narcissistic, and prone to boasting. After all, the word is communication

means that we have something in
common
, and the vain person is only interested in his own person. His “ego”, self-esteem is above all. The pronoun “I” and its case forms “at me”, “to me” occupy the first place in his speech. All this, at best, causes smiles from others, and at worst – irritation, envy and alienation. On the contrary, a modest person treats himself with self-irony, is always a pleasant conversationalist, he has many friends, it is pleasant to communicate with him. In conversation, he listens more than he speaks, avoids verbosity and never sticks out his “I”. A vain person infected with star fever risks being left alone, because he loves only himself and his vanity.

Vanity can have not only rough, direct forms, but also dress itself in humble, even monastic, clothes. Paradoxically, a vain person can even perform ascetic deeds and be proud of his “humility.” Fueled by vanity and the enemy of the human race, such a would-be monk can be very successful in his “exploits,” but the Lord will certainly humble him. Two brothers lived in Constantinople, laymen; they were very pious and fasted a lot. One of them went to a monastery and became a monk. He was visited by his brother who remained in the world. Then he saw that the monk was eating at lunchtime, and, tempted, said to him: “Brother, in the world you did not eat food until sunset!” The monk answered him: “It’s true! But in the world I was fed through my ears: empty human words and praise fed me a lot and eased the labors of asceticism.”

When we are undertaking any good deed, we need to be especially on guard so as not to be captivated by vanity. After all, very often, when we help people, deep down in our souls we are driven by pride and vanity, and, having seemingly accomplished a good deed, we can spoil all the work by expecting vain praise. He who works for the sake of vanity and praise already receives a reward here, which means he will not receive it from the hands of the Creator. Sometimes we can observe how easily and quickly things go if we are driven by vanity, and, conversely, with what difficulty and what temptations a truly good deed, started without a secret desire to receive praise and self-satisfaction, sometimes progresses. If we have succeeded in anything, we need to more often remember the words of the prophet David: “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory” (Ps. 113:9). And it is especially useful if we are not only not rewarded for our work, but, on the contrary, are even reviled. St. Isaac the Syrian says: “Drink reproach as the water of life.” This is the kind of thing that will truly benefit the soul. And “God gives thanks for the ungrateful,” as one of my good friends, now deceased, said.

One holy father said that reward comes not from virtue, not from work for it, but from the humility that is born from this.

Saint Theophan the Recluse calls vanity a “household thief”; it creeps up unnoticed and steals from us the work that we have undertaken for the sake of God and our neighbor, and the reward for it. The same thing happens when, out of boasting, we begin to tell other people about our good deeds, robbing ourselves of the opportunity to receive a reward from the Lord for them. Vanity can also steal prayerful works if they are performed without humility.

Fighting passion

How can we fight this cunning serpent, which gradually creeps into the soul and steals our works, reducing them to nothing?

As has already been said many times, by contrasting it with the opposite virtue - humility. For example, it is known that pride and resentment are a product of vanity. A person who does not tolerate criticism, is easily vulnerable, instantly takes offense and seems to say to himself: “How dare they? After all, I’m not like that, I’m good! How can they say that?” And although it will be unpleasant for us to hear this, most likely our offenders and critics are right. Well, maybe not 100%. After all, it’s clearer from the outside. We always imagine ourselves better than we really are, we forgive ourselves a lot that we would not tolerate in others. So there is something to think about. A touchy critic is despondent, but for an intelligent person it is a stimulus for growth. Criticism generally invigorates and does not allow you to rest on your laurels, it forces you to correct. We must not only not be offended, but bow at the feet of the offenders as our educators, who at the right time “punch us in the nose” and clip the wings of our vanity.

Resentment, like anger, must be extinguished when it is still a small ember, a spark, before the flame of resentment flares up. If you don't add logs to the fire, it will go out. If you don’t “salt” the grievance, don’t cherish it, but try to forget it as soon as possible (or simply change your attitude towards criticism, that is, take it into account), the grievance will quickly pass.

Spiritual people, ascetics, not only are not afraid of reproach, but also joyfully accept it, as if they were asking for it, thereby hiding their exploits.

Elder Paisios of Athos said: “In one monastery in Greece there was a custom: to give the brethren a little money for difficult work. The monks wanted to work harder and distribute the money they received to the poor. Everyone did that. Only one monk acted differently. No one had ever seen him give alms to even one poor person. And they called him Greedy. Years passed. Everything remained the same. “What a stingy fellow!” - thought the other monks. But then the time came for the monk, nicknamed Greedy, to move on to another life, and he died. When the surrounding villages learned about his death, all the residents began to flock to the monastery to say goodbye to the deceased. They mourned him and regretted his death. And the brethren were surprised. “What good did this man do to you if you mourn him so much?” - they asked. One peasant said: “He saved me!” And another added: “Me too!” It turns out that the monk, who was nicknamed Greedy, saved money and bought oxen for the poorest peasants so that they could plow the land and their children would not be without bread. This is how he saved them from hunger and poverty. How surprised were all those who considered the monk greedy!”

From Saint Theophan we also find advice on how to overcome vanity through humility. He writes to one woman: “It’s good not to sit down in church. And when vanity comes, sit down on purpose so that you can tell your thoughts when you start to feel vanity: after all, you sat down yourself. One father, when the thought of vanity came that he was fasting a lot, went out early to where there were a lot of people, sat down and began to eat bread.”

So, let's remember that vanity begins with little things: someone boasted of a good deed, somewhere they joyfully accepted praise and flattery. And there it is not far before passion settles in our soul. To prevent this from happening, let us monitor vanity at the very beginning, treat ourselves critically and often say: “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name.”

Ending

Vanity – is it good or bad?

As you know, any phenomenon has 2 sides, which are characterized by both positive and negative aspects. Thus, the definition of vanity can also be twofold. Healthy vanity can have a positive impact on a person's life, since it is this character trait that helps one become more popular, recognizable and successful. It is the desire for fulfillment and recognition that becomes the main trigger for any human undertaking: studying at a prestigious university, developing a career, or opening your own business.

A properly motivated person will work hard to achieve great results and make the right impression. Healthy vanity will help a person make useful contacts and expand his own social circle.

Narcissism

However, this character trait also has a number of negative characteristics. With the pathological type, vanity does not carry any positive function, since the person does not strive to become better or more useful in the area in which he is engaged. Such people often become too fixated on themselves, so they gradually move away from loved ones, begin to conflict and quarrel with them. In the most severe forms, this character trait can develop into a real passion for one’s own self and delusions of grandeur.

Examples of vanity from life

Life is rich in events, and examples of vanity in it can be found much more often than it might seem at first glance:

1. The guy tells everyone that he is an excellent sports dancer and is very successful in this path. In fact, he only knows basic, primitive movements, he just loves praise and flattery.
2. An office employee boasts to his colleagues that by the age of 25 he has a car, an apartment and a country plot, and they are losers, since they rent apartments and travel by public transport. It’s just that the benefits that a person boasts about so much were inherited from his parents.
3. A person who has long graduated from school continues to set himself as an example for everyone, boasting about his own good grades and certificates for participating in regional Olympiads.
4. A woman quarreled with her husband because he did not notice her new hairstyle and did not give her the required number of compliments.
5. The child really wanted to earn the praise of his parents, so he began to invent stories about good deeds that he allegedly performed (transferred his grandmother across the road, helped a girl find a lost kitten, showed the way to a lost passerby). Parents cannot verify the authenticity of his words, so they believe the child and praise him. As a result, he decides to regularly invent good deeds in order to earn his parents' approval.
6. The businessman wanted to impress his friends and decided to buy the best yacht. He was so carried away that he spent all his capital on the ship. As a result, the business went into decline.

What examples of vanity do you know from your own life experience? Maybe you or your friends showed vanity. Share in the comments.

What is vanity in Orthodoxy

In the Orthodox religion, vanity is one of the seven deadly sins. It is this vice that the Devil especially loves, since it often deprives a person of all morality and ethics. Such people easily succumb to earthly temptations, leaving their souls completely defenseless against any temptations of dark forces. In ancient writings, this character trait has fairly short interpretations and is described as follows:

• vanity always comes from the Devil;
• anyone who does good deeds only for the sake of worldly fame and recognition is a vain person;
• the soul of vain people is akin to a waterless pit.

The priests note that vanity can nullify all the labors of the human soul, therefore each person needs to be especially careful about the purity of thoughts in everyday actions.

What is vanity and why did you have no idea about it?

Vanity is empty arrogance, arrogance, the desire to be an object of fame and veneration.

Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

Having decided on the terminology, let's turn to biology. The feeling that pushes us to act for the sake of recognition from others is caused by the need to dominate in the community. The more influence a male or female has in a group, the greater their chances of successfully mating and producing alpha children, which means, in addition to strength and agility, you need to be able to inflate your chest with a wheel better than anyone else, have the brightest colors and a ringing voice.

Among our distant ancestors, with the development of social relations, the nature of “showing off” also changed. Now the leader had to have not only developed muscles, but also a solid bone in the nose and the most luxurious skin on the shoulders.

It is at this moment, with the appearance of external ritual attributes, that the remaining members of the group develop respect for “status”, its individual signs, and, consequently, a heightened desire to obtain it. Over thousands of years, these elements became more complex, going through the stages of tribal, slave-owning and feudal development of mankind.

During the Middle Ages, when the “old” nobility occupied the main privileged positions, and the “new” one had not yet appeared, various layers of society came to a strange balance in their perception of each other. No, the desire to be “above” others has not gone away, but the very position of the aristocracy, essentially still military, for some time excluded the very concept of vanity from use at the top.

Fine clothes, expensive ammunition and other things inaccessible to mere mortals have become an indicator of the elite. The wealth of people was determined by their appearance, by which the status quo was calculated with the naked eye.

It was not forbidden to dream of a higher position, but the emerging system of relations among the feudal lords excluded attempts to “jump to the top.” You are who you are, and you cannot be anyone else. You will not earn more than the prince and can only influence what is inherent in your status.

One of the things that is perhaps least accessible to the understanding of a noble person is vanity: he tries to deny it even where people of another kind do not doubt its obviousness. It is a problem for him to imagine people who try to instill a good opinion of themselves, although they do not have one about themselves - and, therefore, also do not “deserve” - and who then themselves become imbued with faith in this good opinion. […] Only with great effort, especially with the help of history, can a noble person make accessible to his imagination the fact that from time immemorial, in all somewhat dependent strata of the people, the ordinary person was only what he was considered to be: not at all accustomed to himself to set a price, he did not attach any other price to himself than that assigned to him by his masters (to create values ​​is the true right of masters).

Friedrich Nietzsche, "Beyond Good and Evil"

This situation did not last long. The development of states gave birth to new “social elevators” that lifted, for example, wealthy merchants or clergy to the top. The peasants, who periodically rebelled because of extortionate taxes and the disgusting attitude of the nobility, also began to be taken into account.

During this period, it was the clergy, who had extensive influence on the mass consciousness, who struck at vanity with a backhand.

Vanity from a psychological point of view

Psychologists say that there are 2 types of vanity:

• healthy;
• pathological (destructive).

With healthy vanity, a person realizes his own worth and importance. Such people strive for justice, development and self-realization. In this form, the desire for some kind of perfection and recognition does not bring any negative connotations to a person’s life, and also does not in any way affect his career and relationships with people around him. With healthy vanity, a person can demonstrate leadership qualities, activity and motivation.

A person whose vanity has taken the form of a disease often does not even realize the problem that has arisen. Perceiving one’s own shortcomings and oneself as an individual is a rather complex and often contradictory process, which not every person can understand.

An unhealthy love for worldwide fame and recognition can play a bad joke and lead to quite disastrous consequences. The destructive form of vanity is characterized by the fact that a person tries in every way to please others, to gain their sympathy and admiration. To achieve the task, such people can “go over their heads” and use “dirty” methods. Unfortunately, for such people such concepts as good or bad cease to exist.

Vanity from a psychological point of view

From a psychological point of view, vanity often gives rise to other negative qualities: pride, selfishness and arrogance. The main problem with vanity is that it is quite difficult to eradicate, since it is difficult for such a person to realize his own shortcomings and their harmful effects.

Signs

Vanity as a character trait is determined by several signs:

1. Love of flattery. Vain people love to be praised and often do this to others and the whole world. It doesn’t matter to them whether it’s true praise or an attempt to “throw dust in the eyes.”
2. A sharp reaction to any criticism. People who are characterized by unhealthy vanity react extremely negatively to criticism of themselves, even if it is constructive and supported by undeniable arguments.
3. The desire to be at the epicenter of attention. Such people often behave extremely emotionally and unrestrainedly, trying to attract everyone's attention and discussion.
4. Tendency to humiliation. Often people use humiliation to assert themselves at someone else's expense. A person who is vain always takes the opportunity to mock other people's mistakes and mistakes.
5. Arrogance. When communicating with such a person, all interlocutors involuntarily get the impression that he puts himself above others and is practically not interested in the opinions of other people.
6. Frequent envy of others.

In addition, a vain woman or man can talk for a long time and at length about their own achievements and skills, so that the interlocutor is literally amazed on the spot. However, often imaginary victories are not supported by any real successes.

How vanity manifests itself and how to overcome it

Vanity can manifest itself both as petty boasting and as a destructive passion that affects the human psyche, as a result of which he spends all his strength to prove his own exclusivity.

Signs of vanity

Doctor of Psychological Sciences, Professor Sergei Garkavets explains that you can recognize vanity by:

• intolerance to criticism;
• depending on other people's opinions;
• the desire to constantly be in the center of attention;
• susceptible to flattery;
• talkativeness, inconsistency between words and actions;
• vindictiveness, tendency to portray oneself as a victim.

A person who is struck by vanity becomes dependent on the opinions of others. The goal of his behavior is to make a good external impression. Such a person will make loud statements, behave defiantly, emphasizing his own importance in every possible way.

How vanity manifests itself: Freepick

Vain people perceive any criticism extremely painfully, since they are completely unwilling to admit their own shortcomings. Instead, they are susceptible to flattery, which satisfies their need for constant praise.

Causes

Psychologists say that this character trait is laid down in a person in childhood, when the child begins to form personal identification and self-esteem. It is important for any child to be recognized and valued by the family, regardless of any factors. It is important that the child’s environment sensibly evaluates his achievements and victories. Parents should not excessively praise their daughter or son if they do not deserve it, as this can lead to inflated self-esteem, and subsequently to vanity.

This rule also works the other way. If a child lacks praise and recognition, he will try with all his might to win the love and attention of others, without realizing his own praise.

Other possible causes of vanity:

• unresolved internal conflict;
• childhood trauma and family problems;
• lack of other feelings and emotions;
• unappreciated;
• bullying by peers or adults;
• protest and defense.

How it affects a person - examples from life

A character trait such as vanity has a strong influence on a person’s life. The most common forms of vanity are pride, arrogance and star fever. There are certain examples of vanity that can negatively impact a person's career or fulfillment. So, for example, a graduate of a prestigious university who was able to handle even the most difficult subjects with ease will certainly consider himself a rising star in the new team. The employees of such an arrogant young man are unlikely to find a common language with him and will avoid and be wary of him. However, it is worth remembering that sooner or later a situation may occur that will “knock down all the arrogance” and boasting from the young man.

Quite often creative people with outstanding abilities have vanity. Such a person begins to imagine himself better than others, because he managed to climb to the very top. His self-esteem begins to go off scale, he expects others to praise, admire and worship him. In this case, a person can develop a real addiction, and subsequently a psychological disorder.

Sometimes vanity is realized in the form of imitation of self-development. A person can stubbornly convince the people around him that he is actively developing, learning, attending various courses and trainings. In fact, such people often spend most of their lives in stagnation and actually try to “appear rather than be.” It is this version of vanity that involves the desire to look better compared to others.

Vanity negatively impacts your career

Vanity and pride - what's the difference?

Any negative character traits are formed on the basis of human egoism. Nevertheless, vanity is considered a less vicious and rude quality than pride. A vain person is able to realize the destructiveness of his own “I”, while in pride a person completely neglects others against the backdrop of his own praise and exaltation.

Asya Rakhovich

Psychologist with more than 8 years of experience. Consultant on interpersonal and marital relationships, self-discovery.

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How to get rid of vanity

To get rid of such a negative quality as vanity, a person will have to do a lot of work:

1. Admit your own shortcomings.
2. Normalize self-esteem.
3. Reduce the level of vanity manifestations.
4. Refuse any value judgments.
5. Focus on action, not empty words.
6. Show healthy modesty and some humility.
7. Recognize the merits of others.

It is also important for a vain person to decide on his life purpose and motivation. All plans must be determined by a noble and useful cause for society. Thanks to a clearly defined life goal, a person will be able to receive moral satisfaction from its fulfillment and at the same time maintain his own dignity and honor.

In overcoming such a negative quality, the first thing you need to do is focus on action, and not throw around empty words. As soon as one goal is achieved, a person should make a new, more global and ambitious plan for the future.

Getting rid of the imaginary crown