How to work through negative attitudes yourself: a step-by-step plan for working with the subconscious

Many people know that the reality around is created by the thoughts that are in the head. And what your reality will be depends on whether these thoughts are positive or negative.

Limiting beliefs are neither good nor evil. They can both stop us and help us develop. It's great when we know our weaknesses. If they exist, then you can work on them and grow.

How should you work with limiting beliefs? In this article I will talk about what settings are and share the technique for developing them.

What are installations

Attitudes are what we believe in. These are our thoughts, opinions that form a belief system.

Let's take two girls as an example.

One believes: to be a good wife, you need to cook, wash, clean and forget about your fulfillment. The floor should always be washed until it shines, the dishes should be washed, things should be perfectly ironed, dinner should be ready when your loved one arrives. She lives only for her husband, forgets about herself, considers this right.

The second is sure that in marriage you don’t have to be Cinderella to be loved. Household chores can be delegated, lunch can be ordered at home, and you can go to your favorite job, chat with friends or take a walk with your husband.

Which of these girls is right? Both. They just have different belief systems.

Or let's take two guys.

One believes that you can only earn money in the office. There is a stable salary, good company, bonuses and the opportunity to climb the career ladder. This arrangement is the height of his dreams.

Another thinks he can make more money online. For him, the office is a cage. You have to go to work every day, sit there from 9.00 to 18.00. Vacation once a year, if given. And the salary cannot be higher than a certain ceiling. As a freelancer, he can work as much as he wants. Will be able to travel at least 20 times a year and still work. If he wants, he can easily change his place of residence. Will be able to increase earnings when he creates his own team.

Who's right here? Both again. The first has one belief system, the second has another.

This system completely affects life. After all, as they say, thought is primary. That is, the belief system creates our reality. And if you think that you can’t make money doing what you love, then you will find confirmation of this particular attitude. If you believe that all men are assholes, only such men will come across in your reality. If you think that vacation is only for the rich, then you will not have a good vacation.

Attitudes prevent you from taking everything from life. They make it difficult to believe that reality could turn out differently. But there is always a way out: change your limiting beliefs.

Neurolinguistic programming capabilities

NLP teaches a person to evaluate himself, his skills and knowledge in a new way, and to perceive the people around him in a completely different way. Neurolinguistic programming techniques cause the following changes in a person’s life:

• improve communication;
• facilitate communication;
• instill new beliefs;
• help you understand yourself and decide on your life goals;
• reveal internal needs;
• relieve old grievances, fears and phobias.

Emotions on which NLP works

Thanks to the use of NLP, a person gains confidence, determination and courage, understands how to achieve what he wants and does not limit himself in achieving his goals. However, for this you constantly need to work on yourself, analyzing and identifying your negative attitudes, getting rid of destructive beliefs.

How to Identify Limiting Beliefs

To change the limiters, you must first find them. How to identify your limiting beliefs? There are several ways to do this:

Observe your emotions

To independently identify negative attitudes and find them in the subconscious, you need to observe your emotions. When we think or talk about limiting beliefs, a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness arises. They take away all the joy and energy from a person.

For example, you dream of standing on a big stage, filling stadiums and singing for people who love your work. When you imagine this, it’s as if warm lead is pouring inside, and those same fluttering butterflies fill your body. And then the phrases ring in my head: “This is impossible. I don't have that talent. To become a famous singer, you need a lot of money." At this moment everything inside collapses. These are the limiters.

Pay attention to the phrase

Negative attitudes and blocks often contain words: never, everything, everyone, always, must, impossible, wrong.

If you say or think about a phrase with these markers, then most likely it is that same negative belief.

Briefly about NLP

This teaching combines the best practices and developments of psychology, psychotherapy and linguistic programming. NLP is focused on teaching a person practical techniques that will improve his life, changing it radically. NLP beliefs will help you begin to evaluate the world without focusing on destructive attitudes. After such therapy a person:

• discovers hidden internal reserves;
• becomes successful in business;
• easily achieves goals;
• finds an approach to people;
• improves personal life.

Let's take a closer look at what neurolinguistic programming is and how, with the help of special techniques, you can change old and destructive beliefs to new attitudes that will lead to success.

How to work through negative attitudes

What to do with negative attitudes that prevent you from earning more, building relationships, and being fulfilled? How to work with them? I will share with you a technique for transforming limiting beliefs that will help with this.

Take a blank notebook and divide it into spheres:

• health
• money, work, business
• relationship
• rest
• friendship

Write down all the beliefs that you say most often. Or, which you often think about in these directions. Be sure to write by hand. When we write words and write letters, more neural connections in the brain are activated than when we type on a computer or phone.

In the area of ​​money and business, you can find the following attitudes:

• no money left;
• opening your own business is risky;
• in order to earn good money, you need to work for days;
• To get a good position, you need money or connections.

If we are talking about health:

• I am constantly sick;
• doctors only need money;
• I have a weak immune system;
• There are no normal doctors.

In the sphere of relations there may be the following restrictions:

• all men are goats;
• Nobody needs a divorced woman with a child;
• all men cheat;
• Nobody needs a strong and independent woman.

Friendship is like this:

• true friendship can only be in childhood;
• friendship between a man and a woman does not exist;
• nowadays it’s every man for himself, no one will help you;
• A true friend is known in trouble.

Some people even have attitudes about relaxation:

• if I rest, I am wasting my time;
• rest for the lazy;
• if you relax, then only in style;
• holidays are not for everyone.

You can read more about what beliefs exist in different areas in the previous article. Perhaps among them you will find your settings that you forgot or didn’t think about.

After you write down all the beliefs, opposite each negative one, write 3 promoting ones. That is, you need to transform limiting beliefs into positive ones.

Transforming beliefs creates new neural connections in the brain that are responsible for skills and ways of thinking. If an action or belief is not repeated, the neural connections weaken. Therefore, it will be good if you constantly say positive statements, like affirmations.

Affirmation is a positive statement that can replace a negative one when repeated many times.

Concept

The word “belief” itself means the quality of a worldview that gives a person confidence in his own views, knowledge and assessment of reality. In simple words, it is what we are confident about, our strong opinion about something.

As a rule, having some kind of belief, we do not seek to subject it to analysis and logic, since it came to us from people significant to us or appeared in the process of important personal experience. Conventionally, if we heard from our parents from the cradle that honest money comes only with sweat and blood, this belief will accompany us all our lives, unless we make a strong-willed decision to change something in ourselves.

A little later we will look at many similar examples that can be called limiting beliefs. Why limiting? Because they prevent us from creating what we want in our lives. They limit our thinking, make it narrow, put it in a box.

A person who has the attitude given in the example above will think that all honest people are necessarily hard workers with meager wages, and those who live in abundance will certainly steal. And perhaps such a person will mentally desire wealth for himself, but at the same time his subconscious will begin to blink the red light “money = evil.” And who wants to be bad? Thus, a negative belief will not allow you to earn more money, count on the best, or develop financially.

I hasten to reassure you. Every person has limiting attitudes. The only difference is that someone stays in their cocoon all their life and does not know what could be different, and someone makes efforts to change and make their life better. The choice is always yours.

Examples of replacing negative attitudes with positive ones

Let's look at examples of replacing negative attitudes with positive ones:

All people have their limitations. They just need to be detected and replaced with promoting installations. Then your thinking will change, and with it your reality. After all, it all starts with the head.

From the history of NLP

Neurolinguistic programming was first studied in America in the late 80s of the last century. A group of doctors combined several common psychological techniques aimed at influencing and working with the patient’s subconscious, thereby making a revolutionary discovery. The scientific achievements of such famous psychotherapists as Fritz Perls and Virginia Satir, and linguists John Grinder and Richard Bandler were used.

History of NLP development

NLP is based on the teachings of Milton Erickson, who believed that a person reliably stores all the knowledge and skills accumulated throughout life in his subconscious. Knowing how to use this information correctly, you can easily achieve success and solve any problem. Milton Erickson suggested using memories and feelings to influence your consciousness, thereby causing the desired changes. According to this principle, recovery from serious bodily illnesses occurs when a person not only dreams of being healthy, but, using memories, forces himself to experience these feelings until the body really begins to recover.

Neurolinguistic programming prohibits the use of such a concept as “correct personality” in psychotherapy.

Insisting that no matter how a person behaved in a certain situation, it was the best possible outcome. One model of behavior cannot be considered correct and another is not. There is simply a set of reactions that a person applies in one or another life situation. The main task of neurolinguistic programming is to help choose the most effective model in a particular case.

The essence of NLP

Since NLP is based on hypnosis and Gestalt therapy, by mastering this knowledge you can learn to influence other people.

Neurolinguistic programming techniques are successfully used in acting, public speaking and business management. The fundamentals of NLP have become widely used in advertising, marketing, public communications, politics, journalism and even military affairs.

You can master the techniques of neurolinguistic programming on your own, but it is better to do this with the help of a specialist during a personal consultation or group therapy.

NLP tricks

People who master the tricks of the language of persuasion can easily gain favor and trust with the help of NLP, ensuring that their interlocutor changes his opinion about something.

Start the conversation with a positive. Let this be a simple fact known to everyone. Hearing familiar information, a person will relax and open to communication. Use a distraction to gain support. Offer your opponent several possible options to choose from that can solve the problem that has arisen, and then feel free to propose the idea that you are promoting. During the conversation, ask all questions in the affirmative. This technique will create the illusion that a positive response has already been received, and the interlocutor will have no choice but to support you.

If you decide to use NLP techniques, remember that the other person is a unique individual. To understand the motives of other people's actions, try to study their desires and beliefs.

Neuro-linguistic programming should not be used to cause harm.

The benefits and harms of the technique

Just a few years ago, neurolinguistic programming was not considered a serious science. Today the situation has changed dramatically. NLP is recognized in many countries around the world. The effectiveness of the teaching has been proven in practice in many countries: France, Germany, Austria and Sweden. NLP has been recognized by the European Society of Psychotherapy, but there is still a group of scientists who consider neuro-linguistic programming a “fraudulent” science. There is ongoing debate about the ethics of using neurolinguistic programming techniques, which, once you master the basics, can help you gain control over the consciousness of another person.

To independently study NLP techniques, you can use books published by famous psychotherapists, videos, webinars and online courses available on the Internet. But you will get faster results if you attend a training on this topic. The coach will tell you how to correctly use neurolinguistic programming methods, help you identify incorrect beliefs and formulate new attitudes.

The technique of neurolinguistic programming can be compared to an ordinary kitchen knife. Someone will use this tableware to prepare food. In the hands of a bad person, a knife can turn into a murder weapon.

Neuro-linguistic programming is strictly contraindicated for some people, as it can be harmful to their health. These psychological techniques should not be used by those who have nervous disorders or any developmental disorders, as well as by children with fragile psyches.