Hypocrisy that it is deception or not enough to tell the truth

Hypocrisy is a style of behavior that implies insincerity, hiding real emotions, thoughts and inner states. The meaning of the word hypocrisy originates in the Roman Empire, when actors taking part in theatrical performances used a variety of masks that reflected the emotional state of the character. This phenomenon should not always be condemned and condemned. Every individual has had a situation in life in which they had to hide the truth from their interlocutor, lie and use “sweet lies” instead of “bitter truth.”

What forces a person to hypocrisy is mainly fear. And in overwhelming situations, this is a fear of one’s opinion or perception of reality, which is caused by low self-esteem. Therefore, when the interlocutor is a hypocrite, and this can be revealed simply through gestures, intonation, and facial expression, you should not immediately be offended by the speaker’s lies. If this person is truly dear, you should understand his fear, realizing what caused it, and how you can change the situation with your actions.

To overcome such a personality trait as hypocrisy, it is necessary to build rules of life and an unshakable system of principles. If an individual's behavior is based on values, such a person will have more control over his speech and actions, avoiding lies and weakness. A person with adequate self-esteem will not be ashamed of his point of view or worldview.

What is hypocrisy

People have known what hypocrisy is for hundreds of years. In many cultures of the world, there is a mention of gods in literature, which in the modern understanding personify hypocrisy. For example, the two-faced god Janus among the ancient Romans. The Greeks did not have gods like him, so they revered him. Janus was the god of doors - the entrance to the hearth - a holy place for the ancient Romans. And doors, as you know, have two sides: one outside the house, and the other inside. Therefore, Janus was depicted with two different faces: old and young, looking forward and backward, west and east. Thanks to this feature, Janus was called two-faced, although as such there was no trace of hypocrisy in him.

Two faces of a hypocrite

In Ancient Greece, actors who played multiple roles in the theater were considered hypocrites. Since there were few actors, for the sake of convenience and saving time, two-faced and sometimes three-faced masks were used.

In Christianity, hypocrisy is the sin of double-mindedness and pretense, for which a person is unable to receive forgiveness and ends up in hell.

In the modern understanding, hypocrisy is behavior in which a person commits immoral acts for the sake of his own interests, attributing a pseudo-moral meaning to them. This is pretense, which also manifests itself in words with selfish intentions.

Hypocrisy is common to everyone, because it is a consequence of the ability to think. The problem of hypocrisy lies in the goals that a person pursues.

There are hypocrites:

• conscious ones who put on masks to implement clear tasks and goals;
• unconscious ones, who, due to constant manipulation of people, do not realize that they are provoking conflicts.

How to react to a hypocritical person?

The speech of a lying and hypocritical person

You should never condemn such a person, because everyone can remember a situation in their life when they tried to hide their sincere feelings from their interlocutor. It’s not for nothing that they say that “the whole world is a stage and the people in it are actors.”

Most often, people act hypocrites out of fear. They have low self-esteem, so they are afraid that they are not good enough, that they do not know how to do something, that they have not achieved great heights. Therefore, they boast and attribute various skills and abilities to themselves.

A person is also a hypocrite because he does not feel safe. You just need to behave carefully with such people, and not tell him the details of your personal life. On the contrary, try to get him into a frank conversation, so you will understand why he does this.

In addition, unexpected questions can throw anyone off balance, so most likely he will begin to behave naturally.

There are, of course, dangerous hypocrites who lie in order to gain profit. He puts himself in the best light, trying to achieve his goal. And sometimes people simply do not have life values, they themselves do not understand where their sincere “I” is and where the mask is. It is better to behave with such people using their own methods. This is how a person sees himself from the outside, and this can discourage him from engaging in such behavior in the future.

If you feel insincerity on the part of a close relative, then analyze what gave him a reason to behave this way. By speaking insincerely, a person may be protecting you, trying to avoid a scandal, or at this moment he simply needs your approval.

Always remember that most often lying is a defensive reaction. For this reason, do everything so that your loved one feels comfortable with you, change your actions towards him.

Characteristics of kinesthetics. How to communicate with kinesthetic learners?

What is hypocrisy?

Hypocrisy: what is it and how can you tell if your interlocutor is being a hypocrite? This is a difficult task that can be overcome by better understanding the interlocutor and the characteristics of his behavior. Hypocrisy is the link in building and maintaining working relationships between people. It does not always characterize a person from a negative side, since this behavioral feature helps half of the world’s population hide shortcomings and vices and thereby build a successful career.

Mastering hypocrisy in business negotiations

Compared to ancient civilizations, today not only theater actors, but also representatives of in-demand professions are hiding behind a two-faced mask. Marketers, politicians, lawyers and advertising executives are masters of the art of hypocrisy. They know how to manipulate and know how to persuade an interlocutor, colleague or client to make a decision that is beneficial to them.

Hypocrisy in 100% of cases manifests itself in a discrepancy between a person’s words and actions and his real goals, feelings, thoughts and motives. However, pretending in cases of desire to support relationships is the only way to socialize, because There are situations in which hypocrisy is encouraged. For example, if you purposefully ignore a friend’s excess weight, there is a chance of maintaining the friendship.

People around the world are hypocritical to varying degrees, and life situations require different strategies of behavior and response. But for hypocrites, such a trait as selfishness is clearly manifested for beneficial personal purposes, for the sake of survival. Hypocrites are manipulators who are ready to do anything for profit and comfort.

Hypocrisy: what is it for ordinary people, and by what signs can one identify a hypocrite in one’s close circle:

• insincere smile;
• tense and flushed face;
• pauses in speech, demonstrative sighs to give the interlocutor time for the desired answer;
• unnaturalness in the voice;
• feigned emotions;
• the need to be the best among colleagues;
• frequent lies;
• silent submission to superiors;
• spreading gossip;
• unfounded criticism of relatives, friends or colleagues;
• failure to fulfill promised duties;
• increased attention and friendship with successful people;
• quick change of opinion and attitude towards colleagues and friends.

A hypocrite is not a skilled liar, but a person who lives in fear of showing his true self. He arrives in a state of victimhood, so he is forced to wear masks in order to survive.

Why people become hypocrites - top 5 reasons

Two-faced people usually deliberately choose to behave dishonestly. Why is this happening:

1. Fear of punishment or condemnation. Often hypocrisy is formed in childhood. For example, parents scold and punish a first-grader for bad grades. After a while, he realizes that it is easier to lie. Then he begins to tear out pages from notebooks, hide the diary, and forge signatures. Over time, deceitful behavior becomes the norm for him, not only in the area of ​​academic performance.
2. Reluctance to offend. Few people want to communicate with people who “cut the truth from the shoulder.” Circumstances sometimes require that a person behave as politely and tactfully as possible, and in some cases even lie.
3. Least resistance. Not everyone is ready to accept the truth in its pure form. Conflicts often arise because of this, so people prefer to be soft and kind and avoid rough edges.
4. Self-interest. Many people are hypocrites for their own benefit. In every situation in life, they want to look as cute as possible. To recognize a hypocrite, you should take a closer look at his behavior in various situations. For example, the headman ingratiates himself with the teachers in order to get good grades, and in their absence speaks rudely and unflatteringly about them. She is nice and courteous with the dean of the faculty, but she can be rude or even call her classmates.
5. Following social norms. Many people want to become a full-fledged member of society and achieve respect. To get what you want, it is important to behave accordingly. If you think about it, even ordinary politeness, tact and subordination are types of hypocrisy.

What are the reasons for hypocrisy?

Like any destructive behavior, there are a number of reasons for hypocrisy. Each case is unique and requires individual consideration. However, according to psychologists, there are reasons for hypocrisy that are not always obvious:

1. Sigmund Freud, a popular psychoanalyst and psychiatrist, wrote that a person is pushed towards hypocrisy by the inconstancy and variability of the world around him. Society develops and sets high standards for the individual, without being interested in his abilities. Therefore, moral principles fade into the background, and a person begins to be a hypocrite, although this is not always justified.
2. Natalya Vedmesh, a psychologist and gestalt therapist, claims that the cause of hypocrisy is lack of self-confidence. This is expressed in fears, for example, fear of rejection by society, condemnation, misunderstanding. In such conditions, a person considers himself worthless and unworthy and does his best to hide his feelings and thoughts behind the mask of a hypocrite.
3. Inna Trofimova, a psychologist, emphasizes that a person plays the two-faced Janus not only with others, but also with himself. This state is called cognitive dissonance, that is, he experiences embarrassment due to the awareness of the inconsistency of his needs and desires and actual actions. A person acts out of impulse, while having opposing beliefs.

Whatever the reason for hypocrisy, it is difficult to communicate with such a person, since there are doubts about trust and the sincerity of his intentions.

Dealing with a Hypocrite Boss

Means of combating hypocrisy

Hypocrisy is a personality characteristic, therefore, like any character trait or emotion, it can be controlled. The following are ways to combat hypocrisy:

At the level of consciousness (elaboration of one’s own attitudes, values, causes and consequences)

At the level of social and personal responsibility

In the field of personal development

Working with self-esteem, perception of the world and one’s own capabilities

Despite the fact that such control methods look very banal, they really help as a way to effectively control this personality mechanism. For the most part, the fight against hypocrisy occurs through introspection and self-improvement. Of course, if you want to help your neighbor, you can help him with this. However, such support and assistance should only be expressed in empathy and understanding. Under no circumstances should you blame or insult anyone.

Human hypocrisy can be controlled and “treated”

How to Deal with a Hypocrite

Every person has his own approach. If you can recognize acquaintances in the described signs, this is not a reason for frustration. There are ways that you can use to save relationships and not fall for the tricks of pretenders.

1. If there is no point in maintaining friendly relations with a hypocrite, you can avoid him. This is a simple way to reduce stress and a method for keeping encounters with an unpleasant person to a minimum. Its meaning is to demonstratively show a person that those around him refuse to spend time with him because his behavior does not fit into the generally accepted framework.
2. If it is impossible to completely avoid communication, then it can be minimized. It is better to find a new company, meetings with which will bring joy, and spend a minimum of time with hypocrites, even at general meetings and parties. However, even short communication should not be negative. Compliance with the rules of politeness and good manners reduces pretense on both sides.
3. Staying calm is the right tactic. It is important to make it clear to the hypocrite that it is necessary to comply with the limits of behavior, but this should be done without tension, but confidently. Phrases that would work include: “I don’t like it when you talk about me like that” or “I don’t like it when you behave like that.”
4. The main thing is not to fall to the level of a hypocrite. If a situation arises in which you want to express dissatisfaction with your interlocutor, it is better to restrain yourself, since it will be difficult to convince other people who witnessed the altercation that there are not two hypocrites in front of them.
5. A conversation will help if the person has just begun to show signs of being a pretender. A person should explain why such communication is unpleasant and causes discomfort instead of emotions of joy and happiness. You can find out the reason for pretending with leading questions, for example: “All our mutual friends have noticed that you have changed. What happened?”, “You started communicating with a new company, that’s probably why you changed so much?”, “What do you mean all the time?”
6. Give each other a break and pause communication. It is impossible to force a person to change, so it is important to let the friendship cool down so that after a couple of weeks or months you can start communicating with a clean slate. If this does not bring positive results, then it is for the best. With the disappearance of toxic people from life, new roads will open and new people will appear.

Pros and cons of hypocrisy

Hypocrisy does not always bring only harm to others and the two-faced person himself. This character trait also has a positive meaning.

Advantages and disadvantages

hypocrisy allows you to avoid sharp corners in a conversation;

this personality trait helps to avoid conflict;

Hypocrisy is used when one does not want to offend the interlocutor.

if a person is accustomed to being a hypocrite, he will not apologize, knowing that he has offended the person;

duplicity is characteristic of selfish people;

The hypocrite does not have strong friendships, since he is not capable of sincere positive feelings;

hypocrites are susceptible to developing diseases of the cardiovascular system;

they are often diagnosed with gastrointestinal disorders;

a hypocrite suffers from envy; it hinders him not only in the personal sphere, but also in the professional sphere.

Since hypocrisy has positive aspects, it means that people who have weakly expressed this character trait should develop it. To do this you need:

• learn to smile in critical and conflict situations;
• convince the suffering person that everything will be fine, all problems can be solved;
• hide your negative emotions and those around you.

Each person decides for himself whether to be a hypocrite, focusing on the situation

Tips and questions

What is hypocrisy: pain from the loss of an old acquaintance, or relief from revealing his essence? Losing friends because of their pretense is sad, but you can't let a problem like this complicate or ruin your life. At such moments, it is important to distract yourself with new hobbies to take up time if communication is quite stressful and annoying. Your comfort should be a priority in everything.

The main advice for dealing with hypocrites is to communicate with them in the same way. People understand their mistakes and correct themselves after their loved ones turn away from them.

A man hides behind the mask of a hypocrite

In what situations is hypocrisy most often observed?

Hypocrisy is especially pronounced when a person acts or says something from the state of “this is how it should be, this is how it is accepted”:

• forgives offenders in words, but in reality continues to harbor a grudge;
• knows that he is overweight or has other complexes, but continues to do nothing to improve the situation, for example, he calms himself down with unhealthy food and is in no hurry to exercise;
• maintains friendly conversations with people for the sake of gain, although he experiences negative emotions towards them and does not want to continue to maintain communication after achieving the goal;
• talks about the benefits of positive thinking when experiencing constant anger, resentment, hatred, envy, etc.

What is the difference between duplicity and hypocrisy?

These concepts are synonyms because they express the same thing. Duplicity and hypocrisy are communicating with different people in different ways to achieve goals to please your ego. Under certain circumstances, a person behaves with people of high income, showing or inventing qualities that he does not possess, and with those who are lower in status, he behaves in a completely different way, and in a bad way - this is duplicity or hypocrisy.

This behavior is repulsive and does not generate the need for continued communication.

What is the difference between betrayal and hypocrisy

Betrayal is a deliberate violation of agreements, oaths or deviation from values, norms or their denial. Betrayal can happen once over the years of a romantic, friendly or work relationship, while hypocrisy is a pattern of behavior in which a person has double standards, so his words and actions are at odds with reality.

Why hypocrisy is not included in the 7 deadly sins

The 7 deadly sins are 7 passions that are difficult for a person to cope with without the effort of willpower. These include: anger, despondency, pride, fornication, envy, greed, gluttony.

These passions lead a person to distortions in behavior, for example, to hypocrisy. The Bible denies this phenomenon as a mortal sin. Confirmation of this is found in the New Testament (Matthew 6:2, Matthew 6:5, Matthew 6:16).

How to Stop Mistaking Hypocrisy for Truth

To stop accepting hypocrisy as truth, you need to understand what motivates a person when he chooses such behavior. Since childhood, a person has been accompanied by fears about various areas of life. It also accompanies the state of the victim, who cannot find a rescuer and therefore tries to adapt to everyone. If communication with such a person is uncomfortable and unresourceful, it is better to refuse it or reduce it to a minimum, if this is a close relative or colleague.

A clear understanding of what hypocrisy is, as well as knowledge of the signs by which one can identify a person who is a hypocrite will help one to abstract from the words and actions of such a person. The main signs: insincerity, a clear desire and need to please everyone for the sake of profit, especially the manager, senior comrade or other superior individuals, constant change of opinion for selfish purposes, spreading gossip and any false information.

Signs of a hypocrite

You can recognize a hypocrite by their characteristic behavior patterns. Hypocrites have the following characteristics:

• a hypocritical person promises a lot and does little (but at the same time reacts painfully to the failure to fulfill promises given to him);
• a two-faced person is well versed in social psychology, knows how to sense the mood of his interlocutor and skillfully plays along with him;
• such people love to brag, they are characterized by vanity (such people often invent reasons for boasting, because they have very few actual personal achievements);
• a hypocritical person ingratiates himself with successful people through deception and flattery (they are driven by banal envy);
• they are often confused in their own lies, so they can present different texts of the same story (they do not feel remorse when a contradiction in their words is pointed out to them, brushing off reproaches);
• two-faced people do not know how to keep other people's secrets (but at the same time they condemn those who spread other people's secrets);
• It is difficult for them to refrain from exaggerating facts and distorting information, even if they know that others can expose their deception;
• two-faced people are not able to admit their guilt and ask for forgiveness from a person (therefore, as a rule, they do not have strong friendships that have been tested over the years);
• two-faced people constantly criticize others, they tend to cling to any little things and shortcomings of others;
• Such individuals cannot admit their own mistakes (when mistakes are pointed out to them, they get offended, and sometimes even completely and irrevocably break off relations with a straightforward person who decided to point out a flaw);
• hypocritical people tend to collect and spread gossip and rumors (often they invent them themselves);
• they do not respect simple straightforward people;
• They tend to want to teach others, point out their mistakes and mistakes;
• hypocrites are sensitive to criticism (which is why they often have tense relationships with their superiors);
• such individuals strive to evoke pity and sympathy, they often put pressure on feelings in the process of interpersonal communication;
• true hypocrites will not say something good about a person if he is not nearby at the time of the conversation, since they are not able to truly admire successful individuals and their talents;
• a person who is accustomed to being a hypocrite is in no hurry to come to the rescue in a difficult situation (he justifies himself by saying that he does not have the required skills, capabilities, and is also confident that at a critical moment there will certainly be someone else next to the person in need who can provide help) ;
• if he is approached with a request, he immediately remembers urgent matters, declaring that he would certainly help, but now he needs to run;
• he can offer his help if he is sure that the person will refuse it, but he will not be particularly zealous in this, fearing that the person will suddenly change his position;
• When helping someone, they expect gratitude and benefits, so they will certainly remind you for a long time about the service provided.

External signs also reveal a hypocrite:

• when he smiles, there are no facial folds on his face;
• when he smiles, his eyes remain sharp, cold, indifferent;
• during communication, his eyebrows remain motionless;
• he compresses his lips tightly;
• in the process of communication, the hypocrite’s posture is usually closed;
• often his hands make uncontrolled movements.

To learn to accurately identify hypocritical people in one’s own environment, a person needs to develop his emotional intelligence.

What are the consequences of hypocrisy?

Hypocrisy, like any other behavior, has certain consequences. If a two-faced individual uses people for his own purposes, contrary to their opinions, then he will inevitably have to reap the negative results of his actions. A person can never become happy through betrayal and deceit.

All negativity always returns to the source. First of all, the main consequences of a hypocritical attitude are loss of respect from colleagues, loss of work, lack of friends, and distrust of others. And only the hypocrite is to blame for this, although he makes everything look exactly the opposite. Be honest in everything, and, most importantly, with yourself.

How to overcome hypocrisy yourself - useful practices

Before looking for a way to get rid of hypocrisy, you need to understand what caused such behavior. When the source lies in childhood, you need to eliminate negative beliefs and work on increasing your self-esteem. Only then get rid of duplicity. If difficulties arise, you should consult a psychologist on how to deal with hypocrisy.

Eliminate the problem gradually, in small steps, performing exercises and recording the results. Psychologists recommend the following practices:

1. "Pause". If you feel that you are now “being a hypocrite”, take a break, stop. There is no need to analyze or think about the situation. By stopping, you will avoid dishonesty.
2. "In the face of fear." Stop hiding from problems, face them face to face. This will help you feel inner confidence. For example, a hypocrite behaves dishonestly for fear of ruining relationships with colleagues. You need to accept that nothing terrible will happen if one of your colleagues moves away. It is impossible to please everyone.
3. “Why do I need this?” When you are alone with yourself, remember the situations in which you were especially blatant in your hypocrisy. Try to reproduce them in your memory in as much detail as possible, down to the sensations. Now analyze why you did this, whether hypocrisy changed your life for the better. Over time, you will understand that duplicity destroys your essence and does not help in any way in your current life.
4. "Help". Seek help from a loved one: relative, friend, husband. He will have to speak frankly about your immoral behavior. Be prepared right away that it will be extremely unpleasant for you to hear such revelations. But you will have to listen to them and try to change. This exercise helps you accept the most unpleasant situations of misbehavior and work through them.
5. "Adoption". There are no ideal people. This needs to be understood and accepted. You don't have to try to please everyone. Take courage and admit that you have an imperfect figure, an inability to dance beautifully, a lack of literacy, or an inability to flawlessly negotiate at work. When you accept this, the need to prove something to others will disappear.

Hypocrisy is a predominantly negative character trait, therefore, most often, it is necessary to fight it. Otherwise, you may face a number of unpleasant consequences.

Examples of hypocrisy

1. Neighbors smile sweetly when they meet, but then talk nasty things behind their backs and spread gossip in order to discredit each other in the eyes of others.
2. A man marries an unloved woman in order to obtain temporary housing or registration , but at the same time he tells his chosen one that he truly loves her.
3. A company employee tells unpleasant things about his boss , but in private he curries favor with him.
4. One spouse is cheating on the other and wants a divorce, but assures their life partner that they are still faithful to him or her.
5. An example from fashion history: Levi Strauss , who made a lot of money selling his first jeans , never wore them . He believed that it was not the status of rich people to wear work clothes.