Narcissism is a term that describes human behavior. It usually involves complacency, overly inflated self-esteem, manipulation in relationships, and taking advantage of other people. In modern psychology there is even a narcissistic personality type. In psychiatry there is such a thing as narcissistic personality disorder. In this case, narcissism is no longer just some complex of human character traits, but a real mental illness that cannot be completely cured. The good news is that narcissism in such a serious form is very rare. However, in this article, let's talk about the normal kind of narcissism. Here is a list of 18 types of behavior of people who are narcissists (or narcissists), based on scientific research as well as expert opinion. It, of course, will not help you diagnose anything, but with its help you will already be able to identify the narcissist from your environment. Or maybe he is hiding inside you?
You are a smug interlocutor
Narcissists often believe that their views are the right and best. And they definitely need others to recognize this. For example, a narcissist believes that he has some special connection with a higher power. But it’s not enough for him to just think like that. He needs others to know this and admire how deeply spiritual he is.
What is a narcissist?
A narcissist is a narcissistic person who is confident in his own superiority over others. It’s quite easy to identify him among your friends. He tries to be the center of attention, and he succeeds because those around him behave much more modestly. The narcissist himself behaves noisily, speaks loudly and actively gestures. He constantly makes fun of his friends, and does not hesitate to gossip about comrades who are absent at the moment.
This behavior helps narcissists assert themselves. Because they behave with self-confidence, they often manage to achieve the desired effect. They laugh at their jokes, and listen to gossip with sincere interest. Despite all the attention, the narcissist often feels unappreciated. Any joke that is not appreciated can unsettle him. But, of course, those around him are to blame for not understanding his subtle and elegant sense of humor.
A narcissist is a person who surprisingly combines pathological narcissism and a low level of self-confidence. He considers himself beautiful, smart and talented, but he constantly needs confirmation of this from others.
Dealing with a narcissist is quite difficult, no matter who you are. In any case, you will sometimes have to point out his mistakes, and he endures such things extremely painfully. Any hint of his imperfection makes him suffer, and the person who told the truth becomes the culprit of this suffering.
Do you consider yourself the most beautiful
According to a study conducted by Seemin Wazir, a psychologist at the University of Washington, narcissistic people are generally rated by society as being more flamboyant and attractive in appearance. However, this is not always the case. During the experiment, narcissists highly rated their external characteristics and mental abilities. However, when taking the IQ test, they didn’t show anything outstanding. When peers were asked to evaluate their narcissistic friends based on external appearance, their opinion was lower in this regard than the view of narcissists about themselves.
Types of narcissism
Narcissism is a multifaceted concept. It combines personality traits, selfishness, arrogance and excessive selfishness.
Psychology divides narcissism into several types:
1. Constructive – self-love. Almost every person has this feeling, but it manifests itself to varying degrees. Otherwise, there is no desire for self-improvement, no sense of the meaning of life. Self-love and respect are the norm and are not considered a deviation. On the contrary, this type of narcissism promotes reflection, knowledge, and arouses the desire to do good or benefit people and society. At the same time, a person enjoys his actions and the results obtained.
2. Destructive narcissism is a pathology. According to Erich Form, such a person is only interested in himself, his own appearance, feelings, and desires. He needs the whole world to revolve only around him, and everything else does not matter at all or is perceived as an ordinary background. The narcissist cannot experience love for others, strong emotions, and is incapable of compassion. It is interesting that his self-love also has a non-standard manifestation and can suddenly turn into contempt.
3. Perverted narcissism is considered the most dangerous, since such a person is a parasite on his environment. Relationships for his loved ones are always detrimental, as abuse occurs (otherwise - moral violence). Those around the narcissist may become depressed, even attempt suicide. The wife especially suffers. The difference between a perverted narcissist and other types is that he chooses creative, extraordinary and bright companions, and then turns their life into hell. Ordinary people simply subjugate weaker people in order to look significant compared to them.
The perverted narcissist is good at imitating strong feelings, but does not feel them himself. Such a man is quite observant, has a sharp mind, knows how to find weak points in others, which he plays wonderfully on. However, if it fails, it instantly becomes inadequate.
4. Primary narcissism manifests itself in newborns. This is the initial state of the child, when he does not yet know how to draw a boundary between external objects and himself. All the baby’s needs are immediately satisfied, he feels like a god. As a result, the growing narcissist will be constantly tempted to return to this happy time. In this case, the disorder is considered secondary.
5. Pathological narcissism. This is a serious personality disorder. Moreover, such people are often successful and can occupy a high position in society. This disorder develops from infancy and is often due to coldness or excessive maternal love.
Narcissism has many facets, some hold it back, others try not to notice it. The most dangerous is the perverse. Such a person turns any situation to his own benefit, distorts all the actions and words of his partners. It is abuse that most often leads to psychological trauma.
You fall in love easily and blindly
People who are characterized by narcissism quickly and easily fall in love and just as quickly and easily lose interest in the person. And all because at first the narcissist, arriving with rose-colored glasses, sees in front of him an absolutely ideal partner who perfectly complements his own perfection. This continues until his “glasses” fall off and he sees everything as real. Then he understands that the ideal he saw is just an illusion. And it is this fact that will put an end to their romantic relationship. After all, imperfection cannot be next to perfection, right?
How to recognize a narcissist: 5 main signs
Having found out who a narcissist is, let’s move on to an equally important question - how to recognize him among his friends. In psychology, there are fairly accurate methods that make it possible to unambiguously determine this disorder in a patient. But even an ordinary person can easily identify a narcissist by paying attention to several characteristic behavioral features. Usually such a person gives himself away by:
1. Likes to talk . The narcissist loves communication. In this case, only the illusion of dialogue is created, since he does most of the talking. He needs interlocutors to be surprised, admire, ask clarifying questions and in every possible way support the conversation without actively influencing its topic. It is not difficult to recognize a narcissist by his communication style: he always strives to be the center of attention, speaks loudly, actively gestures and demonstrates absolute confidence in his own rightness.
2. Pays maximum attention to appearance and status . He always tries to stand out, buys stylish, bright clothes, and attaches great importance to status items. He judges those around him by the same criteria. If the interlocutor is holding an iPhone that is not the latest model, it will not be easy for him to earn the narcissist’s respect.
3. Reacts sharply to criticism addressed to him . Even constructive criticism irritates the narcissist. And he doesn’t care how justified it is. This is always insulting to him, since he is confident in his infallibility. Most narcissists are confident that they are smarter than everyone around them, regardless of what level of education they have.
You like to rise at the expense of others
People subject to narcissism like to suppress others in order to further stroke their ego. Experts also believe that the desire for admiration is like a drug for narcissists. However, things get complicated because others won't admire them all the time. Therefore, narcissistic people are forced to look for new acquaintances and connections from whom they can receive a new portion of applause.
How did the term come about?
The term "narcissus" for this disorder was chosen due to an ancient Greek legend that tells how the flower of the same name came into being. Legend tells that the nymph Echo once met the beautiful Narcissus, with whom she fell in love. But the young man did not reciprocate her feelings; instead, he looked at his reflection in the water surface and admired his own beauty. The nymph wasted away from love, and soon all that was left of her was a voice wandering in the mountains.
The young man was punished for his arrogance. The goddess Nemesis made him fall in love with his own reflection. Narcissus was so fascinated that he could not take his eyes off him even for a second. He stood by the pond, bowing his head over the water, until he died of hunger. And later, a beautiful flower grew in that place, bending over as if looking into a water mirror. This legend very well describes the internal state of people with narcissistic disorder, whose entire attention is focused on their own personality.
You want to always be in control of everything
Narcissists love to control everything without falling into aggression. For example, in romantic relationships, their control may manifest through constant unpunctuality or requests to give up everything and do as they want. This is how narcissistic people provide themselves with a certain comfort zone in a relationship where the other partner cannot somehow influence the situation or change anything. By doing this, narcissists maintain the sense of independence and self-sufficiency that they so desperately need.
Author. Harper's BAZAAR Kazakhstan. Photo. Shutterstock.com.
Why do people become narcissists?
From a psychological point of view, the main causes of narcissism are errors in upbringing and mental trauma experienced in early childhood. Most often, this personality disorder develops at the age of 2-3 years, when the baby develops a conscious perception of the world around him and begins to communicate quite meaningfully with his parents. If during this period a child begins to be reproached for mistakes “for educational purposes” (broken toys, incorrect movements, poor learning ability), his self-esteem is disturbed and social connections are established incorrectly.
Every child needs the approval of their parents when showing them the first drawing or craft they created with their own hands. If his parents criticize his work or simply brush him off, he receives psychological trauma, which he will try to compensate for as an adult. Excessive admiration can also lead to a similar result. From childhood, a child must understand that one can only receive praise for achievements once. His efforts cannot be ignored, but there is no need to praise him undeservedly either.
What is male egoism?i
Selfishness is the achievement of set goals and satisfaction of one’s needs at the expense of other people. Often, selfishness is closely related to narcissism - this psychological disease, with its own characteristics and traits, is skillfully woven into a person’s character.
Unfortunately, the clinical picture of the disease is such that it cannot be treated, so a woman caught in the snare of a narcissistic egoist must either come to terms with her choice or leave this man forever and forget about him like a bad dream.
Narcissistic men, as a rule, do not grieve for a long time after breaking up with a previous passion. All they can worry about is the speedy or even immediate search for another simpleton to satisfy their needs and desires.
