How long have you been communicating with a young man?
Does he not talk about his attitude towards you? The state of uncertainty is painful and upsetting. It is unknown what will happen in the future. Why is a man in love afraid of a woman? Why doesn't he take the initiative first? Let's talk about aspects of male psychology in such a situation. From this article you will learn:
- Why are men afraid to fall in love with women?
- How to tell if a man is in love
- Which women are men especially in love with and afraid of losing?
- How to become a woman with whom a man is “head over heels” in love
Reason. Upbringing
If the parents did not hug their son, did not speak words of love and tenderness to him, then, as an adult, the man will copy the line of behavior “inherited” in childhood. A man does not know how to give compliments or show emotions. He believes that this is unworthy of a representative of the strong half of humanity, or he does not even realize that the woman he loves is eager to hear the “cherished three words.”
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For some reason, parents believe that affection, tenderness and a kind word are not as important for a boy as for a girl. The son must be raised to be a man - strong and reliable, a man who will endure all hardships. From early childhood, he develops a sense of self-worth and responsibility for the lives of loved ones, and willpower. As a result, having become an adult, a man does not know how to freely express his feelings and emotions.
Why can't I be happy?
Often the roles of “girl” and “mom” are combined. Noticed an important detail? In the first scenario, a woman herself makes herself a small and helpless child in order to receive care, and in the second, a representative of the fair sex herself becomes a boss in order to have power and control over a man who is in a childish state.
In both cases, the scenario of parent-child relationships is played out, where there is simply no room for an adult position. If you have chosen the state of a child for yourself, then you will not be taken into account, and if you are a parent, then you will not be able to respect your partner. Do you think such a woman-parent would want to give attention and care and treat her with tenderness? It’s difficult, and also scary, because if you do something wrong, you’ll immediately run into criticism.
What about the intimate side of the issue in such scenarios? That's right, not really! Because intimate intimacy presupposes the presence of an adult position and, of course, internal fullness of love. It’s not for nothing that we say “make love,” and in order to have something to do, the presence of this love is necessary.
Strictly speaking, through these roles your love, as well as passion, slowly but surely flows out of the relationship. Both roles prevent a woman from being happy in a relationship.
Why does a man want to run away from a woman-mommy?
If everything is relatively clear with the child’s behavior, let’s look at the parent’s communication style.
Remember the film “Pokrovsky Gate”, where the main character of the plot was the bright and uncompromising Margarita Pavlovna - a woman with such a character. Such women get theirs from men by greatly devaluing their resources and capabilities, mercilessly using criticism, their superiority, authority and, of course, manipulating feelings of guilt.
The version of mommy’s behavior can be softer, and then the woman turns into an over-caring and protective person, always reminding the man what to do and how exactly. She simply cannot help but control and indicate - and she also cannot bear it if something is not done the way she wants. There may not be a scandal, but it will inevitably push everyone through the feeling of guilt. She can speak in a very soft voice, but often in high tones.
- She complains that everything is on her and she is doing everything herself, but she cannot help but control it.
- He does more, better, until he is completely wasted emotionally and physically.
- Accuses: “I do so much for you, but you are ungrateful.”
- Complains: “I’m not a woman for you, but a food processor” or “You killed the woman in me.”
- She puts on a mask of grief, making the face of the most unhappy and tired woman in the world, causing him to feel guilty.
- Becomes seriously ill or suffers some kind of injury in order to return attention and care.
What are the differences between guys and men falling in love?
Men at different ages show signs of falling in love in different ways. Mature, self-sufficient men differ from boys in life experience, social status, and life plans.
General signs:
- Hidden expression of feelings.
Only those who are confident in reciprocity show feelings openly. Every drop of reciprocity gives confidence, awakens feelings, reveals sympathies.
- Admission to your territory, to your life, everyday life.
The form of attention is typical for people in love of any age, if there is no partner/girlfriend/wife.
- Reluctance to cause pain, to offend.
Possessing masculinity, regardless of age, a caring man is not capable of causing pain to his chosen one.
The differences in the signs of falling in love are due to:
- The degree of development of the procreation instinct.
For guys, the instinct to procreate is developed at an unconscious level. Attraction influences a girl's choice in a crowd, a strong desire for physical intimacy. Young people have an inquisitive look. They “touch” the chosen one with their eyes from ears to toes.
In mature men, the instinct to procreate is consciously manifested/not manifested. The desire for physical intimacy is sustained and meaningful. The look is velvety caressing, without assertiveness.
- The degree of spiritual intimacy.
For guys, the degree of spiritual closeness with their chosen one occupies a distant position/is unimportant. Guys rarely think about soul ties.
For mature men, the degree of spiritual kinship takes first place in relationships. By showing signs of attention, they seek spiritual intimacy with the object of their adoration. Understanding that communication gives rise to feelings and intimacy, they attach importance to the similarity of interests.
- The degree of self-sacrifice for the sake of relationships.
The guy is ready to change his habits, appearance, plans. He will happily spend energy, strength, time on developing and deepening relationships.
An adult man breaks habits worse, less often. He values his time and plans, and is used to living a measured life.
- Degree of care.
The guys show a naive, kind, sincere sense of care. Men show material care, effective, similar to that of a father.
