Learning to laugh at yourself is the easiest way to inner peace. It also helps us to be more resilient and kind. But this is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. Only the most evolved of us can truly learn this.
To learn to laugh at yourself, you must have a well-developed sense of self-awareness. But even more important is a high level of self-acceptance. If you're lucky enough to grow up in an environment that encourages these abilities, that's great! If not, we must work every day to acquire them or develop them. We live in a society where others criticize others. This type of environment is a product of our collective security.
However, many people are frightened by these judgments. Learning to laugh at yourself is a way to become independent of the opinions of others. How can we do this? Here are some tips.
Happy are those who can laugh at themselves, because they never stop having fun.
Saint Thomas More
Balance of who we are and who we want to be
Who we are is one thing, and who we want to be is another. This seems pretty self-explanatory, but sometimes it's not as simple as it seems. This happens especially if we are given a very rigid idea of what “should be.”
This can make it difficult to differentiate between reality and the expectations that shape us. When this happens, it's like being permanently in debt.
This “wanna be” and “should be” can get in the way of appreciating who we really are. For example, let's say you're short. You've heard so many jokes and negative messages about short people that you end up despising your height.
You feel intimidated by tall people and wear incredibly tall shoes to hide your height. You don't take advantage of situations where being small is an advantage.
You can rethink your problems
When you are faced with fear or stress, allow yourself to see the funny side, and there is a funny side in every situation. Laughter will give an outlet to your emotions, calm you down and help you look at what is happening from a different angle.
Of course, you shouldn’t laugh in the face of all threats, otherwise your life will turn into continuous hysteria. But most of the troubles you face are not as serious as you imagine them to be.
Develop Selfish Intelligence
To learn to laugh at yourself, you must abandon narcissism and develop healthy self-interest. Narcissism is associated with a sense of personal pride. On the other hand, healthy self-interest is the attempt to find what is good and useful for oneself before seeking it for others.
When you feel personal pride, it is difficult to laugh at you. In these cases, we want to be the best, the most beautiful, the smartest. But since these are impossible desires, they only cause disappointment.
On the contrary, if we analyze situations for selfish purposes, we can accept ourselves as we are. We recognize that we must be true to ourselves above all else.
Thus, it is much easier to laugh at our mistakes and failures without thinking about how others see us. We're talking about healthy self-interest just to be clear.
This is a great tool for dealing with possible stress.
Exposure to something positive before you experience a stressful situation reduces its negative impact. With self-irony you control this “something positive”.
If you are afraid of a difficult meeting or interview, discuss it with a loved one in a humorous way. This will help reduce the pathos of the upcoming event and relax.
Humor is a powerful tool for coping with any stress in life. The ability to not only understand other people’s jokes, but also to use self-irony will help you always be in control of the situation.
Judge yourself with kindness so you can laugh at yourself
Sometimes we judge ourselves harshly, we do not accept our mistakes and punish ourselves for them. Very often we demand much more from ourselves than we can. If you want to learn to laugh at yourself, first learn to treat yourself with kindness.
Saying, doing or thinking something wrong is not a grave sin. It is the weakness that makes us more human. Making mistakes gives us the opportunity to improve and continue to grow.
Promotes self-development
When you treat your shortcomings with humor, you accept them, do not disguise or deny them, hiding them behind a mask of self-confidence. A person who accepts his own imperfections can calmly work on them: correct mistakes, improve skills and engage in self-development, without tormenting himself with endless soul-searching, which often leads to banal whining and self-pity.
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Count on yourself
If we can't count on ourselves, we can't count on anyone. Instead of having a harsh inner voice, we need to support ourselves. We should try our best to forgive ourselves instead of blaming ourselves. Try to motivate and appreciate yourself, rather than punish and scold yourself.
When we know how to support ourselves, we don't become lazy or careless. Being too hard on yourself only leads to emotional stress. On the contrary, flexibility and kindness lead to balance and a better relationship with ourselves.
What is self-irony
What does self-irony mean? This is the ability to laugh at your own shortcomings, mistakes and mistakes. This is the ability to discuss shortcomings in a positive way, analyze them and learn lessons. Self-irony helps people avoid conflict situations, not be offended by criticism and remarks, and prevent humiliation. It protects against feelings of guilt, irritation, stress, and depression. In addition, this is a good opportunity to maintain self-esteem at the proper level.
In simple terms, self-irony means constructive, but at the same time positive criticism.
Self-irony has nothing to do with self-deprecation. Destructive humor is akin to self-reproach, unhealthy criticism, and insults. It can't be called casual. He does not defuse the situation, but, on the contrary, encourages others to feel sorry for the person. Behind self-humiliation, an individual hides a lack of confidence in himself and his strengths, a lack of acceptance of himself as an individual. Essentially, this is a comparison or reproach. Whereas a person with self-irony accepts himself with all his strengths and weaknesses.
Self-irony in psychology
In psychology, self-irony is a sign of the health and maturity of an individual. In addition, self-irony, according to psychologists, is a sign of high intelligence, strong self-confidence, and high self-esteem.
If a person can laugh at himself, for example, at his appearance or character, others will perceive him as an open and friendly interlocutor. They will trust him.
Self-irony in philosophy
Self-irony as a life position became popular in the 19th century. However, its origins date back to the time of Socrates. Generally speaking, for the figures of that period this ability was the essence of art (Zolger), the opposition to the expressed idea (Losev).
Exercise your laughter
Find reasons to laugh every day. Laughter is great for emotional health, but it also helps us be less rigid. This helps us take life less seriously and allows it to flow more spontaneously. In the end, all this helps us feel better.
Learning to laugh at yourself is fundamental to good mental health. It also helps us socially. When we realize that arrogance and pride are just getting in our way, we take a huge step forward.
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Helps you deal with problems more easily
Laughter helps us fight fear. This is why many people like to laugh at some unpleasant things and problems - this makes it easier to cope with them. If you encounter any difficulties, try to approach them with humor and laugh a little. You will feel better physically because of the endorphins (“joy hormones”) that appear during laughter, and mentally, because you will be able to take your mind off the problem, stop being nervous and switch to finding a solution.
Condition
This humorous approach perfectly helps to maneuver in today's changing world. You just need to understand where and when to use self-irony. Take, for example, the same advertisement. For the entertainment industry and product manufacturers, self-irony is just what the doctor ordered. But such a trick will not work with a serious notary office. They also don’t joke when it comes to health and finances – this is, at the very least, inappropriate.
The presence of self-irony contributes to the creation and strengthening of interpersonal relationships. But if, for example, a girl laughs at herself too artificially, a lot and often, then this does not indicate her positivity at all, but rather the manifestation of a defensive reaction and a kind of attempt to hide her complexes.
Examples of self-irony from the lives of celebrities
An example of how stars joke about themselves is Leonardo DiCaprio's prank. It is known that the actor could not receive the coveted Oscar for a long time. When he finally got the prize, while engraving the statuette, he asked the master: “Do you engrave the Oscars every year? I just don’t know how to know.”
A treasure trove of humor in Russian cinema is the unforgettable Faina Ranevskaya. One day they asked her why she did not resort to plastic surgery. The actress instantly retorted: “Why fix the façade if the whole sewer system is rusty?”
When Ranevskaya was already an adult, a friend asked her opinion about modern medicine, whether there was any movement forward and development. Faina Georgievna replied: “But of course! When I was young I was always asked to take off my clothes. And today it’s enough to stick your tongue out at the doctor.”
The famous Soviet physicist L.D. Landau had a great sense of humor. It is he who owns the phrase: “I don’t have a physique, but a body subtraction.”
Self-irony is fully inherent in Ksenia Sobchak. At the Silver Galosh award ceremony, Ksenia came dressed as a “horse” and literally galloped across the stage. After this prank, the number of corresponding jokes addressed to her decreased significantly. The meaning of the vicious attacks was lost. Sobchak has surpassed all her ill-wishers in ridiculing herself.
Children
You can watch children - they always look funny and are simply magnificent in their frivolity and “fooling around”. Perhaps after such observations a person will develop the habit of making faces at himself in the mirror. This is even great.
This new hobby will help you feel more relaxed and free. And it will definitely rid your face of the heavy mask of snobbery.
Take risks
Allow yourself for one day to be whoever you want, the kind of person you want, without adjusting to the interests of others, but only completely following your desires. True, in the worst case scenario, you will have to restore your reputation over the next few days, but it will be worth it. In a good situation, a person will see that his present, with all its extravagant manifestations, is perceived by those around him very willingly.
For example, you can come to karaoke with friends (especially those novice comedians who have had a bear in their ear, and not alone, but with friends) and say a few ironic phrases about your complex relationship with music. The wish will come true. Instead of, as usual, not taking part in the chants, those around you will begin to support and invite you to the microphone. You no longer have to restrain yourself; you can sing to your heart’s content, both without a voice and without hearing. Friends themselves asked when they were honestly warned about their lack of talent.
