Self-sacrifice. Why do we sacrifice ourselves for others?

Self-sacrifice is an individual’s disregard for personal interests in order to preserve the well-being of another. Simply put, this is the desire to refuse to satisfy personal goals, pleasures, and often even life in order to protect the benefits and interests of other individuals. Self-sacrifice is considered an extreme form of altruism. In the modern high-speed rhythm of life, in a universe where technology and an all-consuming desire for personal gain reign, where the level of stress is off the charts, where morality has receded not even into the background, but into the background, the described phenomenon is becoming less and less common. Self-sacrifice for people is a human instinct to protect family and offspring.

Why does a person strive for self-sacrifice?

There are many answers to the question of why a person engages in self-sacrifice. Each individual has his own reasons for this. Some people do this absolutely disinterestedly, showing generosity, others - for the sake of receiving certain regalia, others - because their upbringing does not allow them to do otherwise.

Individual religions and traditions view the issue of sacrifice differently. For example, in the Christian religion, self-sacrifice is the desire to devote oneself to the faith, the people, to change one’s own principles, life principles, etc.

From the point of view of human nature, the best example of self-sacrifice is maternal love, when for a woman the health, life, and happiness of her own child become above all else. This is also called absolute love.

A mother's absolute love

Note! Love for the opposite sex or a friend also involves some kind of sacrifice, but it can hardly be called self-sacrifice; rather, it is a sacrifice of one’s interests for the sake of feelings

Altruist - who is it?

When an individual thinks only about himself and his needs, without paying attention or deliberately not noticing the needs and needs of his environment, he is called an egoist. This philosophy is very common in the modern information consumer society, but there are also completely different people. In the world of their values, the interests of other people are higher than their own. Such individuals are called altruists.

These are people who voluntarily, guided by personal motives, act for the benefit of other people, often even to the detriment of themselves. They sometimes say about such people “he will give away his last shirt.” The main personal qualities of an altruist include:

  • sincere kindness;
  • mercy;
  • readiness for self-sacrifice;
  • openness;
  • humanism;
  • courage.


Altruist

Self-sacrifice associated with the profession

  1. M.A. Bulgakov “Notes of a Young Doctor.” In the work of M.Yu. Bulgakov’s “Notes of a Young Doctor” reveals before us the image of a young doctor who has just completed his studies and is going to practice in some God-forsaken village. He finds himself in conditions that do not particularly correspond to those to which he had become accustomed while in the city, in a civilized hospital. But, despite the surrounding poverty, the young man involuntarily warms up to each of his patients and puts all his knowledge and professionalism into the treatment process. Finding himself in difficult situations, he miraculously finds answers, delighting everyone else with his abilities. This is precisely where his sacrifice lies; the young doctor tried at any cost to save every patient who came to him for help.
  2. I.S. Turgenev "Fathers and Sons". The image of Evgeny Bazarov in the novel by I.S. Turgenev's "Fathers and Sons" has always delighted readers. But there was a feature in this young hero that stood out more than anyone else. He was extremely inquisitive and hardworking. Bazarov tried to devote time every day to learning something new and improving already acquired skills. He saw his life in constant development and enlightenment. His confidence that only hard and persistent work could save a society mired in sins was not in vain. And the moment when Evgeniy accidentally injures himself while working is also significant. In fact, he is dying of the desire to become a good doctor and help people, that is, he sacrifices himself for the sake of his favorite work of his whole life.

Examples of heroic deeds

Manifestation of sacrifice in war is quite conscious of man. In times of war, heroes often go to their death in order to save another. It is at such moments that a person feels a surge of strength, courage and bravery. Many works confirm this.

Examples of heroic deeds in literature:

  1. A. T. Tvardovsky, “Vasily Terkin”. This is a brave soldier, personifying the dedication and strength of character of the Russian person. A simple soldier who tries to help people and does everything possible to brighten up their lives in the most difficult conditions of war. He is always cheerful with his fellow sufferers, ready to cheer them up at any moment with his stories and jokes. His duty is to help everyone in need in difficult times. At the same time, he does not expect any reward or praise. His dedication is completely free. It is worth noting that in those days there were thousands of people like Vasily. These brave fighters were ready to sacrifice themselves for the sake of a happy future for the younger generation.
  2. L.N. Tolstoy, “War and Peace.” Pierre Bezukhov commits a heroic act, saving the girl. He is not a poor man and has the opportunity to leave the city besieged by the enemy, but does not do so. For him, sacrificing his safety is a sense of duty, which at the moment is above all else for him.
  3. A. S. Pushkin, “The Captain's Daughter.” Pyotr Grinev puts his life in danger. He consciously goes to free Masha Mironova, despite the fact that he may be killed. At the cost of his own life, he is ready to rescue his beloved from captivity.

Heroism can be found not only on the battlefield. Often people sacrifice their personal interests for the sake of bright feelings.

The path of development of emotions

A person, like an animal, has four basic desires - to eat, drink, breathe, sleep. But unlike an animal, he has additional desires, which make him human. The desire to create emotional connections, which made it possible to limit hostility between people, appeared in the visual vector. And the reason for his appearance is fear for his own life.

The skin-visual woman, experiencing horror and fearing for herself, stood up for the skin-visual boy in front of the leader, achieving a ban on ritual cannibalism. This limitation of hostility between people became the beginning of culture - a new condition for human coexistence, which made it possible for humanity to develop further.

Culture became more complex and grew along with humanity, passing through four levels of its development - inanimate, plant, animal and human. At the inanimate level - appreciating the beauty of forms, at the plant and animal levels - complicating the emotional connection with the entire living world, at the human level - putting forward humanistic ideas of the highest value of human life.

This happened gradually: from the first rock inscriptions to worldwide manifestos for the protection of the life of laboratory mice. Art, architecture, creativity - these are all the achievements of visual people for all humanity, as well as the development of the emotional sphere. Now representatives of all vectors are able to experience emotions, and even a muscleman can confess his love to his chosen one. The only difference is that the strength of emotions in the visual vector is orders of magnitude greater than in others. After all, it is through emotions that viewers comprehend life.

Examples of altruism

The origins of altruism were first described by the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates. He identified the altruistic character with the concept of morality and believed that such a trait compensates for the natural egoism inherent in everyone to varying degrees. Much later, the concept was described in detail by the German sociologist Auguste Comte. He believed that there is animal or instinctive altruism and human, arising under pressure from society. I. Kant, A. Smith, D. Hume and others began to develop Comte’s theory in their teachings.

The character traits of an altruist exist in many people, it’s just that in some they are much more pronounced than in others. There are many striking examples in history illustrating who an altruist is:

  1. When altruism is mentioned, people often think of the Catholic nun who is known throughout the world as Mother Teresa. She dedicated her life to serving the poor and sick people.
  2. One can recall the feat of A. Matrosov, who closed the embrasure of an enemy bunker with his chest, saving his comrades.
  3. After World War II, German industrialist Oskar Schindler also became famous for saving more than 1,000 Jews working at his factory. Later, a book was written about him and a film was made called “Schindler’s List.”

Reasons for self-sacrifice

  • Subconscious fears. People on a subconscious level are afraid of something ephemeral or real and are ready to hold on to their loved one day and night, to sacrifice all their time, strength and energy for the sake of a sense of peace.
  • Selfishness. People on a subconscious level are ready to sacrifice themselves in order to feel love and warm themselves with deceptive feelings. They sacrifice everything intimate and hold on to their loved one, “taming” him, living in a narrow, selfish world of calm and tranquility.
  • Lack of self-confidence (low self-esteem). People often sacrifice themselves because of a strong feeling of insecurity and complexes, which psychologically puts pressure on the mind and forces them to grab onto any relationship. Even when the relationship is absurd and depressing, sacrifice still remains.
  • Fear of loneliness. Singles sacrifice themselves, spend all their free time and energy just to hold on to their loved one with a “dead” grip and stay with him. The subconscious feeling of calm takes precedence over the rational.
  • Feeling needed, valued and powerful. People want to feel their inner strength. From a psychological point of view, they feel their relevance, power and value over those they help, care for, and educate.
  • Feeling of pity. They sacrifice for others out of pity, compassion and mercy.

Self-sacrifice from psychological beliefs is closely intertwined with the subconscious and cannot be compared with pure spiritual thoughts and feelings. In purely philosophical terms, the selfishness of the altar, which gives all its strength, time and complete dedication to the adored person, poisons love and deceives lovers, feeding them with deceptive feelings and doubts.

Regardless of the reasons, self-sacrifice must be reasonable and have a noble goal: to help lovers expand the boundaries of the spiritual and physical world, bring help, faith, hope and transform love into the brightest feeling. Nowadays, self-sacrifice is far from everything spiritual and to a greater extent shows the selfishness or strong energy of one of the partners, who takes advantage of the kindness, tenderness, complacency, responsiveness and good intentions of the person in love with him. In the realities of today's society, the multifaceted love that inveterate romantics dream of cannot be found. Egoists erase it to smithereens using the lover for selfish purposes. And often behind a beautiful picture and false feelings there is a human life that collapses behind sacrificial love.

Sacrifice does not bring real happiness and spiritual consonance, does not give hope and poisons life. On the contrary, some have to sacrifice themselves and try to maintain a subtle spiritual and physical connection, for the sake of their sincere love and sincere relationships. Others endure humiliation because subconscious fears, uncertainty, fear of loneliness, not being in demand, and complexes are stronger than consciousness. Very often, such people (sacrifices) have high life potential that fades away under the yoke of all of the above, and it can only be returned by undergoing psychological sessions. If at least one of the reasons described is close or familiar in the relationship, you need to contact a family psychologist and change for the better.

Don’t miss your chance to be healthy, strong and beautiful, contact us for help and your difficult relationships will truly transform, warm your soul, expand the boundaries of the spiritual, emotional and physical world, strengthen relationships and reveal a sublime feeling of love to the very heavens.

Tags: love and relationships, love and self-sacrifice, self-sacrifice, self-sacrifice in the name of love

Next article >>> Fear of being alone - consequences and solutions

Next article >>> Love and selfishness - psychology of love and relationships

Just kindness or...

If you and those around you think that the desire to give everything to people without taking care of personal needs is simply natural kindness, you are wrong. This is a form of neurosis.

It is impossible to cure neurosis on your own in the same way as filling your own tooth or cutting out your appendix.

As I already mentioned, the price for self-denial can be deterioration in health: after all, externals also do not think about their own body, and the dominant “I live for others” often provokes the thoughts “I am taking someone else’s place.” One of the most common diagnoses for external patients is cancer. They very rarely ask for help (after all, they don’t need anything for themselves. Not even treatment. Even peace and happiness), so the question of diagnosis and treatment should be faced by relatives close to the external person. They can look at a person's behavior from the outside and think about its consequences.

Negative interpretation of the concept

Selflessness can be a bad quality when it is excessive or when it is a manifestation of infantilism. This destructive form first appears in adolescence and can remain habitual until the end of life. A person is not ready to take responsibility and can endure any hardship just to avoid what he is afraid of.

Animals Can Show Selflessness

For example, when a woman is regularly beaten by her husband, and she does not want to get a divorce, this does not indicate her great love for him. She is simply afraid of being left alone or of depriving herself of the resources that the rapist provides her with. He considers himself right in any situation only on the basis that he feeds his family. There is no selflessness here, this is a manifestation of selfishness, albeit such a perverted one.

Also, selflessness can be imaginary, when a person thinks in this way: “today I will do this for you, and tomorrow you will do that for me.” Often this logic is not realized. If the other party refuses to help, the person becomes offended.

Overprotection of mothers is often considered selflessness. A woman sacrifices her health, youth, dreams and desires for the sake of children, who often do not even respond with gratitude. She can give them money, pull them out of life’s difficulties, constantly cover them in difficult situations, considering this her responsibility. In extreme cases, mothers help their children get drugs, causing harm to both themselves and them.

Women are very often selfless

The motives of such women may differ. This is the famous “glass of water” that a woman dreams of receiving in her old age as gratitude, and the desire to feel needed by someone, and the fear of losing children, and the fear of meeting herself. There is little real dedication here. If it is true, a person sacrifices himself simply because it pleases him to do good to someone.

The selflessness of radicals has a negative connotation. A typical example is suicide bombers. They believe that their death is necessary to achieve goals that they consider good. The same goes for nationalists.

Important! The main reason for infantile selflessness is codependency. This is a negative state in which one personality is completely absorbed by another

Most often this term is used when talking about relatives of alcoholics and drug addicts. But there are much more codependent people.

The emotions of such a person are completely dependent on the actions of the object of addiction. Therefore, for the well-being of others, the codependent is ready to sacrifice his own. In addition to dedication, this phenomenon is characterized by the following signs:

  1. Low self-esteem.
  2. Guilt. Even normally, if a person feels guilty, he tries to smooth out the experience by sacrificing himself. But when this state constantly accompanies a codependent person, she will show amazing selflessness, the root of which is neurotic.
  3. Anger that is not realized by the person himself. Internally, such a selfless person is angry that he has to sacrifice himself. Therefore, such self-sacrifice cannot be considered true. This is not an act of good will; a person feels obligated to do so. He doesn't feel joy in helping someone.
  4. Depressive moods.
  5. The predictor effect. Codependent people believe that they know what they need better than others. As a result, they do what others do not want, sacrificing themselves in the process.

Selflessness is cultivated gradually

Important! Codependency does not represent true selflessness. An example from life that confirms this thesis is a mother who deprives herself of something good so that her child can party all night long.

Such actions will only be harmful. A reasonable parent would sacrifice their money for the sake of their child’s education at a foreign university.

In general, true selflessness does not exist at all. All people pursue their own interests, even unconscious ones.

Arguments

L.N. Tolstoy "War and Peace". Sometimes we do not suspect that this or that person can commit a heroic act. This is confirmed by an example from this work: Pierre Bezukhov, being a rich man, decides to stay in Moscow, besieged by the enemy, although he has every opportunity to leave. He is a real person who does not put his financial situation first. Without sparing himself, the hero saves a little girl from the fire, performing a heroic act. You can also turn to the image of Captain Tushin. At first he does not make a good impression on us: Tushin appears before the command without boots. But the battle proves that this man can be called a real hero: the battery under the command of Captain Tushin selflessly repels enemy attacks, without cover, sparing no effort. And it doesn’t matter at all what impression these people make on us when we first meet them.

I.A. Bunin "Lapti". In an impenetrable blizzard, Nefed went to Novoselki, located six miles from home. He was prompted to do this by the requests of a sick child to bring red bast shoes. The hero decided that “he needs to get it” because “the soul desires.” He wanted to buy bast shoes and paint them magenta. By nightfall Nefed had not returned, and in the morning the men brought his dead body. In his bosom they found a bottle of magenta and brand new bast shoes. Nefed was ready for self-sacrifice: knowing that he was putting himself in danger, he decided to act for the benefit of the child.

A.S. Pushkin "The Captain's Daughter". Love for Marya Mironova, the captain’s daughter, more than once prompted Pyotr Grinev to put his life in danger. He went to the Belogorsk fortress captured by Pugachev to snatch the girl from Shvabrin’s hands. Pyotr Grinev understood what he was getting into: at any moment he could be caught by Pugachev’s people, he could be killed by the enemies. But nothing stopped the hero; he was ready to save Marya Ivanovna even at the cost of his own life. The readiness for self-sacrifice also manifested itself when Grinev was under investigation. He did not talk about Marya Mironova, whose love led him to Pugachev. The hero did not want to make the girl involved in the investigation, although this would allow him to justify himself. Pyotr Grinev showed by his actions that he was ready to endure anything for the sake of the happiness of the person dear to him.

F.M. Dostoevsky "Crime and Punishment". The fact that Sonya Marmeladova went with the “yellow ticket” is also a kind of self-sacrifice. The girl decided to do this herself, consciously, in order to feed her family: her drunkard father, stepmother and her little children. No matter how dirty her “profession” is, Sonya Marmeladova is worthy of respect. Throughout the entire work she proved her spiritual beauty.

N.V. Gogol "Taras Bulba". If Andriy, the youngest son of Taras Bulba, turned out to be a traitor, then Ostap, the eldest son, proved himself to be a strong personality, a real warrior. He did not betray his father and homeland, he fought to the last. Ostap was executed in front of his father. But no matter how hard, painful and scary it was for him, he did not make a sound during the execution. Ostap is a real hero who gave his life for his homeland.

V. Rasputin “French Lessons”. Lydia Mikhailovna, an ordinary French teacher, was capable of self-sacrifice. When her student, the hero of the work, came to school beaten, and Tishkin said that he was playing for money, Lidia Mikhailovna was in no hurry to tell the director about it. She found out that the boy was playing because he did not have enough money for food. Lidia Mikhailovna began teaching the student French, which he was not good at, at home, and then offered to play “measures” with her for money. The teacher knew that this should not be done, but the desire to help the child was more important to her. When the director found out about everything, Lydia Mikhailovna was fired. Her seemingly wrong action turned out to be noble. The teacher sacrificed her reputation to help the boy.

N.D. Teleshov "Home". Semka, so eager to return to his native land, met an unfamiliar grandfather along the way. They walked together. On the way, the boy fell ill. The unknown person took him to the city, although he knew that he could not appear there: his grandfather had escaped from hard labor for the third time. Grandfather was caught in the city. He understood the danger, but the child's life was more important to him. The grandfather sacrificed his quiet life for the future of a stranger.

A. Platonov “Sandy Teacher”. From the village of Khoshutovo, located in the desert, Maria Naryshkina helped create a real green oasis. She devoted herself entirely to work. But the nomads passed - not a trace remained of the green spaces. Maria Nikiforovna went to the district with a report, where she was offered to transfer to work in Safuta in order to teach the nomads who were transitioning to sedentary life the culture of the sands. She agreed, which demonstrated her readiness for self-sacrifice. Maria Naryshkina decided to devote herself to a good cause, not thinking about her family or the future, but helping people in the difficult struggle against the sands.

M.A. Bulgakov "The Master and Margarita". For the sake of the Master, Margarita was ready to do anything. She decided to make a deal with the devil and was the queen at Satan’s ball. And all in order to see the Master. True love forced the heroine to make self-sacrifice, to go through all the tests prepared for her by fate.

A.T. Tvardovsky "Vasily Terkin". The main character of the work is a simple Russian guy who honestly and selflessly fulfills his soldier’s duty. His crossing of the river was a real heroic act. Vasily Terkin was not afraid of the cold: he knew that he needed to convey the lieutenant’s request. What the hero did seems impossible, incredible. This is a feat of a simple Russian soldier.

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Author: · 04/21/2018

From the huge variety of texts for preparing for the Unified State Exam in the Russian language, we have identified those problems related to self-sacrifice that occur most often. We have selected arguments from the literature for them. All of them are available for download in table form (link at the end of the article).

How not to be a victim

Learn to take responsibility and solve problems on your own. You need to become the master of your own life, learn to deal adequately with difficulties, and understand that all failures can be solved.

Forget about grievances and complaints. Every incident in our life is an experience. Stop asking “Why me? Why do I need this? and learn to ask “Why do I need this? What lesson does life want to teach me?

The owner of life is a self-sufficient and self-confident person:

  • He himself creates events in his life and controls circumstances.
  • He does not take on someone else's responsibility and does not shift his own onto anyone.
  • He is independent of other people and life circumstances.
  • He respects himself and other people.
  • He takes good care of his health and life.
  • He knows how to resist manipulation.
  • He has a positive outlook on the world.

It is almost impossible to get rid of the victim role on your own. Individual counseling and psychotherapy from a specialist is necessary, since the process of rebuilding life involves resolving all conflicts with relatives and friends, identifying and working through childhood psychotraumas (the victim always has them), forgiving all grievances and resolving all omissions. You need to remove all the reasons for the victim's psychology and literally be reborn. The problem is that the reasons are individual and personal in nature, which requires a private approach.

But some general recommendations on how to get out of the victim role can be given:

  • Learn to make your own decisions. Start small: what to order in a cafe, what book to read. As a rule, the victims are constantly controlled by someone. Learn self-management.
  • Find a passion you enjoy and allow yourself to enjoy something other than failure.
  • Stop doing anything out of a sense of duty. You owe nothing to anyone but yourself.
  • Study, get a job, move up the career ladder (depending on the specific case). Be financially independent.
  • Learn to value yourself. Get rid of anxiety and self-flagellation, forget about self-humiliation. Sometimes victims get so into the role that even in small things they cannot behave differently: they do not accept compliments, eat leftover food for family members, do not eat at all, give up their hobbies. You have a responsibility to meet your basic needs and have every right to small everyday joys. Especially if you decide to stop being a victim.
  • Accept and love yourself. Realize your own freedom and value it. Also start with the little things: take a full bath, read the desired book. Every time you plan to do something that you like, say: “I love myself. I am a strong and free person. I have the right to..."
  • Form the habits of successful people. Learn to respect and value yourself. Never compare yourself to anyone or put yourself lower than others.
  • Stop asking for advice and permission. Do as you see fit. Of course, we are talking about something that concerns only you. For example, you want to skydive. It’s worth talking to loved ones, but in the context of “how do you feel about this.” Leave the final decision to yourself. And if we are talking, for example, about the exchange of goods (where this is permissible), then forget about the questions “Can the goods be exchanged?” This is your right, so you can safely say “Hello. I would like to exchange the goods."
  • Instill confidence in yourself: walk with a straight back, speak in a clear, clear voice, look into the eyes of the interlocutor. The role of the victim is visible a mile away through gait, posture, facial expressions, and gestures. The victim always looks like an offended, dejected person, “driven into a corner” and asking forgiveness from the whole world for the mere fact of his existence.
  • Stop just complaining and start taking action, solving problems, changing yourself and circumstances.
  • Be prepared to part with your current life, people, work. After all, you are probably surrounded by tyrants and saviors, but it is not a fact that they will also change. In this case, your paths will diverge.

The victim is characterized by emotional and personal immaturity, infantilism, poorly developed self-awareness and consciousness. The child inside you is responsible for everything that happens in your life now. To stop being a victim, you need to meet yourself as a child and solve old problems.

Why self-sacrifice is dangerous

The first thing that comes to mind when pronouncing the word “self-sacrifice” is something sublime. This is a denial of oneself for the sake of higher goals, a sacrifice of one’s own interests in the name of something more valuable. But Leo Tolstoy said that the most offensive expression of egoism is self-sacrifice. Why is it dangerous? What did Tolstoy mean?

Self-sacrifice is inherent in the Slavic people; we are not individualists. In addition, we are encouraged to sacrifice ourselves. But it happens that self-sacrifice is a style of existence; it takes on unusual forms.

It is believed that sacrificing oneself in the name of a loved one is an indicator of good form. They give us the example of the Decembrist wives, but parents are left with no choice at all - they are obliged to do everything for the sake of their children, subordinating themselves to their desires. Yes, love is not selfishness, but why would anyone suffer? Are sacrifices really necessary?

As already mentioned, the basis of self-sacrifice is not always love. Often it is based on fear and lack of faith in one’s own strength. A person is sure that he is not worthy of recognition and love, so he wins them. Self-sacrifice becomes an element of manipulation. A person considers himself not so good that his other half will remain next to him just like that, therefore it requires a remarkable effort. And the fear here is that the person for whom the sacrifice is being made will leave.

But this is not the only negative thing; the further a person goes in an effort to give himself away, the more terrible the story ends. There are many examples around of how people do not appreciate such sacrifices. But you cannot call them traitors. If another person voluntarily refused something, then sooner or later he will hear the question of why he did it, who asked him.

For these reasons, self-sacrifice is considered selfish. A person behaves in the way he considers correct, without taking into account other people’s opinions about it. But he also demands gratitude for his actions. Not receiving this, he feels offended. As a result, hatred arises towards the one for whom the sacrifice was made, for whom it turned out to be unnecessary. A person needs to have the right to choose whether he needs this sacrifice or not, to refuse it or accept it.

But what about altruism, self-denial? Self-sacrifice, of course, has the right to exist. After all, everyone decides what to do and how to behave. The main thing is not to expect recognition for your own actions, then you will not commit actions aimed at satisfying internal needs at the expense of others.

Spawn of Evil

If self-sacrifice occurs at the level of an individual family or group, its destructive scale is not so global. When the interests of a huge power, a people or a large group of people are affected, the consequences can be very unfavorable. The problem of self-sacrifice, the arguments of which are aimed at protecting and protecting a particular object, often forms the basis of terrorism. After all, those who blow themselves up and their hostages sincerely believe that they are dying for the good of religion.

This logic can be seen very clearly and clearly in the actions of terrorists who profess Islam. Members of Hamas or Hezbollah, for example, do not feel guilty when they kill hundreds of people. They say they are committing a sacrificial act, for which they will be rewarded in the next life. Just from this example we can conclude that self-sacrifice is not always a good deed. Sometimes it can lead to tragic events and many innocent victims.

What does the victim really want?

It's hard to believe that someone voluntarily wants to be constantly humiliated. Why do some people strive for the role of victim, voluntarily making themselves a punching bag? In fact, the victim wants:

to receive pity, attention, warmth, care, love, gratitude, empathy, compassion, to be significant, to be needed.

A person with a victim mentality knows only one form of love - pity. So he tries, with the help of others or, feeling sorry for himself, to receive love. The victim is only happy when he suffers. That’s why she always suffers, something is always wrong in her life. It’s not easy to admit this to yourself, which is why only a few decide to fight it.

Theories of altruism

Various scientists developed their own concepts, in which the altruistic approach was viewed from different points of view. Currently, there are three most popular theories of altruism:

  1. Evolutionary . Adherents of this concept are confident that altruistic traits are built into the genetic code of any individual as a representative of the human race. Nature needed this in order to preserve this species, ensure its survival and development.
  2. The second theory is called “social exchange” . According to its postulates, the term of who an altruist is is considered from the point of view of the highest manifestation of egoism. Scientists read that altruistic activities bring personal benefits to a person in the form of self-satisfaction, exaltation of oneself in one's own eyes, and gaining approval from other members of society.
  3. Social norms theory suggests that altruists act in one way or another because of generally accepted norms. They can be moral, religious, rules of conduct and good manners, and others. That is, such people try to return kindness for kindness or take care of the weak thanks to accepted norms of social responsibility.

The Origins of Sacrifice

Thanks to a multi-thousand-year development path, a person with a visual vector has learned to transform fear for himself into fear for others. This became a prerequisite for the emergence of such feelings as empathy, compassion, sympathy, love.

Having reached the highest point of his emotional amplitude - love, a visual person becomes able to put the life of another person above his own. This is where the origins of sacrifice lie – the main virtue in culture.

We observed examples of the highest degree of sacrifice during the Great Patriotic War, when skin-visual nurses, fragile girls, carried the wounded from the battlefield to the whistle of bullets and the roar of shells, forgetting about the fear for their lives. They were driven by the desire to save someone else's life, the life of their neighbor.

Today we see the manifestation of sacrifice in the volunteer movement, when people with a visual vector take care of socially vulnerable segments of the population - orphans, the elderly, the sick - absolutely voluntarily and free of charge, at the call of their hearts. They strive only to love and give this love to others, receiving the greatest fulfillment of their desires and realizing the highest realization of visual properties.

Pros and cons of altruism

True self-sacrifice has both its advantages and disadvantages. The positive features of sacrifice include:

  1. Improving the world and society, changing people's consciousness.
  2. True altruists experience happiness and satisfaction from helping other people.
  3. In this way, people often try to atone for shameful acts committed in the past.
  4. Humane people often have high status in society and are valued and respected.

Unfortunately, an altruist, whose meaning is serving others, may experience a number of negative consequences of his activities:

  1. Ignoring your needs, desires and needs in favor of other people can lead to a threat to moral and physical health or even death.
  2. Mercantile and selfish people can use such a person for their own selfish interests.


Pros and cons of altruism

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