Modern society suffers from irritability and aggression, all this is routine life in a hurry and without respite. Quite a large number of people live in a state of aggression, irritability, depression and don’t even know what to do about it if they’re tired of everything. Any episodes of manifestation of these states can be attributed to the world around us; after all, it may be a matter of the person’s lifestyle itself. Sometimes even small trifles irritate and enrage, nothing brings joy, people and everything around irritate. People in a state where everything infuriates them and they are fed up, incur huge psychological problems, which often only a psychotherapist can help them cope with.
“I really need your God!”
I came to his church and looked him straight in the eyes throughout the entire service - naturally, without crossing myself even once. It seemed to me that this would help him “scan” me better. I really thought that “perceptive” was like an X-ray machine. But, as I realized later, my impudent behavior infuriated the priest.
After the service, several people approached him to accompany him to his cell, where he received people. And he allowed everyone to go with him. Except me. I was terribly offended: you see, I came to be baptized, I’m ready to hear the word “God,” but they still don’t want to accept me! But he still decided to follow the “elder”. And he slammed the door right in front of me. Remembering his boxing background, I decided not to argue with him.
My indignation knew no bounds. “I really need your God!” - I decided. But I was not offended for long: the meaning of life was never found, and I continued my “tour of the elders.” There were several more unsuccessful attempts to be baptized by different priests, until the Lord led me to my future confessor.
This temple was not far from home. The same friend told me about him. I came, stood through the service with grief and stood in line for confession - as I was taught. The priest realized that the conversation would take a long time, and asked to come to him after everyone else.
Look for yourself in different cultures.
Of course, we are talking about travel. But multi-star hotels, casinos, beaches, swimming pools are not the only places where you can go abroad. To combine business with pleasure, it would be good to visit:
- national parks, gardens;
- art and local history museums;
- significant architectural structures;
- inconspicuous antique souvenir shops on the outskirts of the city;
- unique national holidays - German Oktoberfest, Venice Carnival, Hindu Festival of Colors (Holi), etc.;
- palaces, castles;
- natural wastelands - jungles, deserts, steppes, mountains - together with experienced guides.
Admission to some attractions will be free, while others will require a small amount. As a result, it turns out that the excursion will cost several times less than a hotel room or a trip to a good cafe.
Take a psychological age test
Separately, it is worth mentioning the temples of different religions and cults. It is better to ask guides or local residents about the possibility of visiting them. For most spiritual shrines, it is unacceptable for a non-believer to cross their threshold. Some, on the contrary, welcome strangers, share all sorts of secrets and techniques for a symbolic donation for the needs of the temple. Individual establishments will require specific knowledge about ritual clothing, greeting methods, and behavior in general.
“Well, let our money go to waste”
I started helping the homeless at the same time, in 2003. On the porch of the temple where I began to go, a gypsy woman, a mother of five children, was begging for alms. I took full responsibility for its content. And over time he became responsible for parish charity. My task was to collect things and funds for those in need - people from all over Moscow flocked to us, knowing that money was being distributed to everyone here.
One day our parish was visited by a priest who had a shelter for the homeless - one of the first he opened in the Tver region. And when I saw how we indiscriminately handed out to everyone what they wanted, I was horrified: “What are you doing?!” “We are fulfilling the commandment. We don't care about the rest. Even if people deceive us and spend this money on drink, the main thing is that we help our neighbors,” I explained to him with unshakable confidence in my rightness.
This position was very convenient. And then the wife of one unfortunate man, whom we regularly helped with money, came to us and accused us of killing him. “You don’t care about the fact that he dies under your fence, getting drunk, you don’t care about our family, which you are destroying.” Since then, I began to check the stories of everyone who contacted us for help. And it turned out that 95% were lying about their true situation. I realized that those who really need help must first be given shelter.
Understanding the essence of the problem, I continued to volunteer in other places. And in October 2011, the House of Diligence “Noah” from the Temple of Cosmas and Damian was opened in Shubin. At first, he continued to work as a driving instructor and maintained the shelter with his own and borrowed money, and opened new houses. But it soon became clear that it would not be possible to combine them. By February 2012, the shelter began making enough money to support itself, and I ended my business and devoted myself full-time to helping the homeless.
Say goodbye to the network.
The Internet creates the illusion of popularity and active communication. Conversation in real conditions is filled with emotions and their manifestation. Chat correspondence provokes the development of isolation, complexes, and social alienation.
A typical picture: a teenager sits at the computer, scrolls through the news feed and sends interesting posts to a friend. What does an ordinary person do when he likes something or finds it funny? He smiles or laughs. What is this teenager doing on the computer? Sends a cheerful smiley while sitting with a detached or bored expression on his face. Essentially, he exchanged his emotions and their expression for simple pictures.
Conclusion: if a person does not react visually to good events or things, he ceases to feel joy from them internally. And then - hello, depression, fatigue, indifference to life. Dialogues on social networks can only be useful when they serve as a complement to real communication, and not as a replacement for it.
Take the self-doubt test
“The attack of pain lasted four hours”
I asked a lot why they drink. Someone says: “I feel happy when I get drunk,” “I become brave, I can meet women.” That is, in alcohol, people find, as it seems to them, the easiest way to become happy.
Living on the street, a homeless person works 3–4 days a month and drinks the rest of the time. But in our community, it’s rather the opposite. But although drunkenness and idleness are prohibited in our country, we cannot force anyone to stop drinking if our wards do not want it themselves.
As terrible as it may sound, alcohol is a part of their life that they do not want to give up. This is their passion. Like someone has a passion for gluttony, a passion for money, a lustful passion. We are all prisoners of our passions.
I’m not an alcoholic or a drug addict, but I understand them perfectly. I also can’t resist doing what I can’t do. One day we were given several tons of Seven-Up. And I liked it so much that I bought myself a special refrigerator for it - I had to break the doorways to get it in! - and turned off the Seven-Up in liters. They told me: this is harmful. “Seven-Up” can’t be harmful, it’s delicious!” - I answered. And then I had a terrible attack. My stomach hurt, but I refused to understand that my unhealthy passion for soda was to blame. And after waiting for the pain to go away, he drank his favorite potion again. The new attack lasted four hours - even the ambulance did not help. Only after these torments did I stop drinking Seven-Up. Although I still didn’t have enough for a long time.
That's how it is with homeless people with alcohol. You want the forbidden fruit so much that you don't care. But some are saved—in the literal sense of the word—by disability. After all, if they continue to drink, another limb will be amputated or another stroke will occur. The sense of self-preservation kicks in—it sounds crazy, but it’s effective.
I do not want anything! Sick of all! Nothing makes me happy. What to do?
I don’t want anything, I don’t know how to want, nothing makes me happy. Very often, these are the thoughts and emotions that appear in a person when something doesn’t work out, when a person experiences a persistent state of depression or apathy.
At the same time, physically you can feel generally healthy.
You may be depressed or subdepressed.
To find out if this is true or not, take the Professional Depression Test
Depression is an emotional state characterized by indifference to everything. Apathy is an indifferent, indifferent attitude towards something. These conditions are unpleasant, but if they arise, it is necessary to fight them.
You need to start with the simplest desires, with the desires of the body. Remember and cook dishes that you love or loved before. Don't eat mechanically, focus on the taste of the food, enjoy the taste, shape, consistency.
Surround yourself with visually beautiful surroundings. Take out and use dishes and things you use on special occasions. May your every day be “special”.
Clean up the house, throw out the trash, wash the floor. After cleaning, allow yourself to eat something tasty, drink a cup of coffee, and focus on the taste.
Particular attention should be paid to bodily practices, sports, dancing, and walks. The state of “I don’t want anything” is primarily a state of the body.. That is. your body has no desires.
There is an old joke: How to make a person happy? You need to take away from him what he has, and after a while give it back.
There is a deep truth in this joke: Everything is learned by comparison! In our case, this comparison must be given to the body. If your body has been in a monotonous mode for a long time, you need to shake it up and give it physical activity. And after this load you need to enjoy it and have a good rest. After a good rest, we guarantee that different desires will appear by themselves.
Reluctance to do anything and lack of interest in different areas of life is a signal that means that something needs to be changed in life. Perhaps you are tired of everyday routine affairs and worries, perhaps you are no longer satisfied with your hobby and what used to be interesting and important does not seem so now. You need to reconsider some aspects of your daily life.
Change your hobby or, if you didn’t have one, try to become interested in something. Doing other interesting things and expanding your interests and hobbies will make your life more fulfilling and bring a fresh perspective to it. Sometimes it is necessary to simply “go out into people” in order to develop a desire to do something and be interested in something. Go to a movie, a concert, a club, talk to people.
Filter your social circle, leave in it only those who are pleasant to you. It is important to always accept help from loved ones if they themselves talk about it. You should not refuse it, even if you are “out of shape.”
Don't torture yourself with constant self-analysis. The desire to constantly analyze yourself leads to the fact that you are chasing the same negative thoughts in a circle. It’s better to write them down on paper and ritually burn them (be careful not to start a fire at home). You need to act and change something in the real world; just because you think the same thing for the 20th time, nothing will change.
Try to find out the cause of your depression. Don't keep problems to yourself. No matter how bad you feel, you need to find strength and try to solve everything. Sometimes it is useful to give free rein to your emotions, spend more time in the fresh air. Find music that pleases you and listen to it. Listening to music you like stabilizes your emotional state, improves it and your mood.
Every person has ups and downs in their mood, periods of activity are followed by periods of hypochondria, a state of fatigue and a lack of joy in everyday life. But in order to get out of a pessimistic depressive state, when nothing interests you or makes you happy, you need to make a little effort on yourself.
If all of the above does not help, you need to do a little self-regression into your past. Remember what you wanted when you were a child? What did you want to do, what were you truly passionate about?
It may be time to make your childhood dreams come true! Don’t be afraid to seem funny or ridiculous, just do what you always wanted, but maybe in the routine of life you forgot about it. Go back to the times when you had desires, feel again like that person, that child, before whom the whole world is open.
Get creative. Draw, sing, dance, play instruments. Start with free lessons from the Internet.
Just please don't do anything illegal. Find ways to operate within the law.
Don't drink alcohol or drugs. Alcohol only brings short-term temporary relief, then it gets even worse. Check to see if you drink alcohol more than 1-2 times a month. If so, then perhaps your negative state is a consequence of alcohol consumption and it makes sense to reduce the volume and frequency of consumption.
Try to improve your sleep. You need to sleep at least 7 and no more than 10 hours. Lack of sleep weakens your nervous system, causing irritability and other problems.
Peace to everyone PS. If you are confused in relationships and life, and this article did not answer all your questions, describe the situation on the wall of the VKontakte group and receive a personal analysis and recommendations. Our qualified psychologist in Moscow, a psychologist in Shchelkovo, a psychologist in Chkalovsky in person or a psychologist on Skype anywhere in the world will also help you. Diagnostics is free. Convenient and strictly confidential.
Author of the article: psychologist Artyom Kirmichi
Try to get rid of stress factors.
It is unlikely that you will be able to say goodbye to them completely. But it is possible to reduce the amount of negativity. Work, relationships with family, partner, friends, self-realization are the areas where stress occurs most often. Having found the main source of negativity, it is better to eliminate it immediately.
Change is not an easy step, but it develops, strengthens, and builds character. New job doesn't bring in as much money? But it doesn’t take away your nerves. Is it difficult to break up with your loved one? But at night you will be able to sleep without thinking about betrayal or other unsolvable problems in relationships. Is it scary to move away from your parents? But constant comparisons with older children, humiliation in the form of passive aggression, and so on will stop.
Burnout syndrome is accompanied by a loss of strength and a reluctance to do anything, so change will be difficult for people with this symptom. However, they are worth it.
Take a character test
Tired of everything: reasons
As a rule, the state of “everything makes me sick” occurs as a result of excessive and prolonged stress. Every minor experience requires effort to be processed, and their combined weight sometimes becomes too much for the human energy system to handle. Fatigue causes discomfort, and the mind perceives this discomfort as “everything is tired.” can be a trigger for this condition :
1
High speed rhythm of life
According to psychologist, full member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League Elena Khazratkulova, the main reason for internal exhaustion is the rapid pace of modern life [Kazakova V., 2020].
We have to juggle many tasks at the same time: complete a work project by the deadline; buy a gift for mother's anniversary; take readings of electric meters and pay rent; cure an unexpectedly diseased tooth and have your washing machine repaired. It seems like we are drowning in a sea of responsibility.
To complete the picture, add in the information overload that occurs when we are simultaneously scrolling through the news feed, responding to messages, and listening to an incredibly educational podcast about moose mating season.
Scientists confirm that multitasking reduces productivity and drains a person's energy, making you feel helpless and behind the pace of life. Psychology and behavioral neuroscience professor Daniel Levitin explains that when the brain is forced to constantly shift attention from one task to another, the prefrontal cortex and striatum very quickly burn oxygenated glucose, the fuel they need to function.
As a result of the rapid loss of nutrients, a person feels exhausted and disoriented after just a short time. Both physical and cognitive potential decreases, and the level of cortisol, the stress hormone, increases [Levitin DJ, 2015].
2
Living in accordance with the demands of society
Society puts a lot of pressure on us. By his standards, we should do well in school, get a decent profession after spending 6 years at university, get a well-paid job, start a family, buy a house, etc.
However, everyone's concept of a happy life is different. For example, a person may see great value in preserving the rainforest and dream of the hard work of planting trees somewhere in Brazil, but under pressure from society (family, friends) choose the monotonous life of an office clerk.
The conflict between the ideals imposed by society and personal values will slowly but surely exhaust such a person, ultimately leading to a state of “fed up with everything.”
3
Great loss
Loss can take many forms: the death of a loved one or beloved pet, an abrupt breakup in a relationship, or being fired from a job. Regardless of the reason for the loss, the result is usually the same: an intense feeling of emptiness, confusion and loneliness.
Each person experiences loss differently. The range of emotional, cognitive and behavioral responses can range from subtle changes to profound distress and even dysfunction.
For example, complicated grief is a syndrome that occurs in approximately 10% of bereaved people. It manifests itself as a chronic and incessant state of melancholy. It seems to such people that their life is over, and the severe mental pain that they constantly experience will never go away.
According to experts, the risk of falling into this 10% is among those who are prone to bad mood and anxiety, have experienced several serious losses and adverse life events, and are also deprived of social support.
Other factors may contribute to internal exhaustion, including:
- monotonous, stressful work that does not bring pleasure and is associated with constant stress;
- lack of proper remuneration for work, which creates a feeling of one’s own uselessness and uselessness;
- chronic lack of sleep;
- perfectionistic tendencies and a pessimistic view of the world. Research confirms that such thinking patterns make a significant contribution to the development of stress and subsequent burnout [Hill AP, Curran T., 2015; Wekenborg MK, Dawans B., Hill LK, Thayer JF, Penz M., Kirschbauma C., 2019];
To overcome exhaustion and restore balance, you need to make some adjustments in your life. We have prepared some recommendations for you.
