“I don’t want to solve anything”: infantilism as a problem for others

Infantile - a child inside an adult

What do we imagine when we hear the phrase “infantile person”?

1. Irresponsible, prone to rash actions, in a word, an adult who does not want to grow up or cannot do without outside help. He does not realize the consequences of his decisions, does not think about what his rash actions will lead to. What can we say, he’s like a child: he doesn’t understand prohibitions when he really wants something. 2. Many of the infants would rather get into a fight to defend their interests instead of simply discussing the problem. 3. Infants will come up with a lot of excuses for doing nothing. They are looking for those responsible for failures. They turn the arrows on anyone, just not to look at themselves. You can’t build a dialogue with such people, because it turns out that the people around you, the conditions around you, anyone but the infantile must change. Any psychotherapist will tell you that it is sometimes difficult to help infants. Adults sacrifice their pride in order to build healthy, reliable and lasting relationships. Problems can be solved if the partner admits mistakes and wants to change. But infantiles are not capable of change, so their communication with others, as well as with their other half, resembles a cheap performance. They will angrily talk about how inadequate their partner is, despite looking at themselves from the outside. However, if your efforts to convince the infantile to work on themselves are crowned with success, they will still sit and wait for those around them to adapt to their whims. This, naturally, does not happen, the problems deepen, and the life of infantiles becomes even more difficult.

The difference between mental retardation and mental retardation

Differential diagnosis of these two conditions can be carried out from 5-5.5 years. That is, it turns out that up to 5 years of age, doctors (neurologists, psychiatrists) in practice write “CPR” in the conclusion, and then a diagnosis is made (remember that, according to the current international classification of diseases, CPR is not a medical diagnosis).

In order to reliably separate MR from ZPR, it is necessary to conduct a diagnosis using the Wechsler children's test. There are other diagnostic tools that help to “measure” the degree and structure of mental retardation, but at the moment only according to Wechsler there is a clear gradation: with UL the child scores less than 69 points. In this case, it is optimal to conduct testing at the age of about 8 years. Both in practice and according to the test results, there is a “layer” of children who have a fairly severe developmental delay on a cerebral-organic basis, but nevertheless do not yet belong to the category of developmental disabilities.

Differences between MA and ZPR in practice:

• A child with ID has no cognitive interest;
• Does not transfer the learned material to another similar one;
• After a break in classes, it’s “like a blank slate,” that is, what has been covered is very poorly absorbed and is not updated;
• The difference between the current level of development and biological age is more than 2 years;
• Children with ID do not develop abstract thinking;
• A child with mental retardation shows better dynamics and also successfully copes with tasks from the “zone of proximal development” with the help of an adult;
• Presenting the material in a playful manner improves the results of a child with mental retardation, while with mental retardation the child slips from the task into the game;
• Visual activity in children with mental retardation is, as a rule, better developed.

Criteria for the behavior of an infantile person

• Job. Due to the fact that these people suddenly give up everything, forget about their promises and obligations, it is impossible to cooperate with them. They, like children, are inconsistent, suddenly change plans for the sake of their fantasies, leaving their partner with a lot of problems.

• Relationship. Infantile people need a “magic hand” that will motivate, solve emerging problems and define tasks. Just like parents are for a child. It is understandable that in childhood a child relies on the experience and wisdom of his parents, who will solve everyday problems, and he will continue to live happily ever after. However, an immature child is not able to take responsibility for what happens around him in adulthood.

• Thinking. Infantile people do not like to understand something thoroughly. Delving into and studying is not about them. Infants listen to the advice of others, especially if they do not require extra effort. Advertising services, sofa shops, financial pyramids, bright movements cause them complete delight. They do not think about the working mechanisms of such organizations, and will take all their savings to scammers, and then wonder how they were deceived so much.

• Education. An infantile person wants a beautiful, bright, fabulous life, but she herself must find them. Compared to infantiles, adults do not just indulge in dreams, but build their own lives. Because to achieve success, it is important to learn and constantly overcome the unpleasant surprises of fate.

• Responsibility . Infants are not able to take care of loved ones. They are frivolous and irresponsible. It’s easy to get a pet, and then throw it on the street when they’ve had enough of it. But the trouble is that such people also do not take procreation seriously. They might accidentally have too much at a party, and then suddenly there’s an unexpected pregnancy. Of course, it is a sin to have an abortion, which means we will give birth. Or they make children because that’s the way it is. How is it done? By whom? Is it necessary at all? You won't get an answer to such questions.

• Cleaning. The next thing that infantile people notice is a mess. The infantile will not clean up the house, on the street or anywhere else. He’s already comfortable, he knows what he threw where. There is even a designated corner for trash. And this is a reflection of what happens in the brain, where sometimes even an accomplished adult cannot understand.

Manifestations of infantilism in life

Much has already been said about the behavior of infantile children and adults; now these topics need to be summarized.

The infantilism of children begins to manifest itself more clearly and noticeably at school age. Children learn worse and have problems concentrating. They may get up and leave in the middle of class or interrupt the teacher. Their play activities prevail over their learning activities. In communication with peers, infantilism manifests itself in the inability to control one’s behavior, in a direct reaction to what is happening around. Such children are gullible and naive. Often their social circle consists of younger children, since they are closer to them in terms of development.

Naivety and spontaneity also persist in adults. Their emotional reactions are not always adequate to the situation. In addition, in adults, infantilism manifests itself in an unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s actions. Such people rarely get married or start a family on their own initiative. In relationships, such people, on an unconscious level, will look for someone who can play the role of a parent, that is, care and patronize. In professional activities, immature individuals will avoid responsibility in every possible way. This category of people does not like to solve problems. When faced with difficulties, they either run away from them, or try to forget, or shift them onto the shoulders of other people. They are dependent on the opinions of others, so they are afraid of criticism and react very sharply to it.

Many psychologically immature people subsequently become dependents. Women find wealthy men who fully provide for them. Male infantilism often manifests itself in reluctance and inability to run a household. Such men will look for women on whom they can shift all the worries about the household.

Of course, for the most part, manifestations of infantilism do not pose a threat to the life and health of the person himself or his relatives and friends. But still, this phenomenon cannot be ignored.

Causes of infantilism: how do adults become children?

Reason #1: infantile parents.

This problem is passed on from generation to generation, but not through genes, but simply because children accept the behavior model of their infantile parents. True, sometimes parents lead such a crazy lifestyle that their children have to suffer. In this case, the parents will become a negative example, showing that it is impossible to live like this.

Reason number 2: overly caring and restless parents.

With their overprotective care, they protect the child from all possible difficulties and do not allow them to face life’s difficulties, which are so necessary for growing up. Excessive care for your child, trying to protect him from pain and suffering is not love. This is a direct path to lifelong guardianship of an adult child. She only causes harm.

Reason #3: service system.

In addition to important knowledge, kindergarten, school, and university teach a person to perceive life correctly. Correct for the system, but not always for the person himself. The point is that a human child is taught that someone is always taking care of him, that he needs to count on others. For this there are specialists, various kinds of officials, leaders. This is how the system binds a person to itself in order to obtain a devoted servant in him.

Reason No. 4: single-industry.

Distributing most of the important tasks to other people takes the additional burden off the person. It deprives the infant of the opportunity to develop comprehensively and bear responsibility for other areas of his life. To develop to the level of a mature person, we need to complicate life, to be exposed to a little stress, which will help our psyche mature.

Classification of mental retardation according to the epigenetic principle. Causes of mental retardation

1. 75% of cases of mental retardation are a delay of cerebral-organic origin, that is, it is based on insufficient functioning of the brain and its pathways (often the consequences of an unsuccessful pregnancy, problems during childbirth, etc.).
2. ZPR of constitutional origin. The so-called harmonious infantilism, when psychophysically the child is somewhat behind his peers. This is due to hereditary reasons. A child may be more suggestible and emotional than his peers. In general, he looks younger (the difference with his real age is 1-1.5 years).
3. ZPR of somatogenic origin. Here the delay is due to the weakening of the body, frequent, chronic somatic diseases of the child. The general tone of the child’s body and psyche is reduced. Often the situation is complicated by overprotection from the family.
4. Mental retardation of psychogenic origin (this also includes pedagogical neglect). The reason is unfavorable psychosocial conditions. Previously, it was generally accepted that such a delay could only occur in children from disadvantaged families (unemployed, parasites, alcoholics, etc.). Nowadays, there are increasingly cases where, despite financial wealth, the type of upbringing in the family is inharmonious, in particular, the child does not develop the necessary level of self-regulation, awareness, self-care due to overprotection, inconsistency, educational insecurity, and anxiety of parents.

Infantilism can be cured if the person himself recognizes this problem

Getting rid of infantilism means doing everything so that a person begins to work on his own development. This is not always possible on your own, without outside help. After all, children are children because in some things they need the help and support of adults and experienced people. Therefore, infantile people need help. And this means that it is correct to teach them independence, it is correct to push them towards what they avoid most in the world, towards difficulties.

And here, first of all, you need motivation for such work. A person is motivated by two things - pain and pleasure. If a person has no interest in development, in learning, in work and cannot be awakened, if the desire to reach heights does not awaken, then there is only one thing left - to make him suffer, experience pain, deprivation, so that he begins to develop not according to desire, but according to necessary. Here it is important not to overdo it, so as not to break the person. After all, everyone’s psychological age is different and taking it into account is a difficult task. Therefore, it will not be possible to immediately catch up with all the lag in development that has developed over the years. Each person receives such a load that he is able to withstand at this stage of his own development. This applies to his physical, mental and mental development.

Secondly, you can turn to the help of professionals. Psychotherapy is the best way to sense a person’s mood and help change one’s own views on life. Look at yourself from the outside, admit your shortcomings. It is unknown what trials will fall on a person’s head in the future. And if he is not ready for them because of his own immaturity, then everything will end sadly for him.

So we decide for ourselves whether our path in life is correct. Therefore, if your opinion on the issue of infantilism does not coincide with what is written here, this does not mean that you are wrong. It is important to decide for yourself which opinion is worth listening to.

How to get rid of immaturity?

Pronounced infantile behavior is dangerous: it leads to nervous system disorders, social maladaptation, internal tension, anxiety - start treatment in a timely manner.

The method of therapy is determined individually. If the problem is caused by brain damage or another disease, all efforts are directed towards eliminating it. The psychogenic form requires correction by a psychiatrist.

To eliminate behavioral disorders, medications are prescribed:

• tranquilizers;
• nootropics;
• antidepressants;
• sedatives;
• vitamin complexes.

Consultations with a psychiatrist change the patient’s behavior, improve the emotional sphere and adapt him to living conditions.
Drastic changes will help you get rid of immaturity. If a person finds himself without the support of loved ones, he has to act and make decisions on his own.

Reasons that motivate behavior change include:

• loss of material well-being;
• dismissal from work;
• birth of a child;
• joining the army.

Important!
Psychologists advise parents of infantile children to accustom them to regular responsibilities and gently reprimand them for failure to follow the rules. At the same time, you need to be a friend to the child, play games with him, go to visit, do crafts together. Immature children prefer to communicate with babies. Teach them to find a common language with their peers, not to conflict, and to forgive insults. Encourage independent decision-making. If a child wants to dance or draw, let him try his hand.

To cope with a problem as an adult, you need to recognize your immaturity and overcome it. To do this, it is useful to refuse parental help and become independent. At first it will be difficult, but gradually a person will learn not to shift responsibility to others and deliberately make decisions with all the ensuing consequences.

Causes, pathogenesis

Causes:

1. Chronic diseases suffered in childhood:
   liver, cardiovascular and circulatory systems, gastrointestinal tract;
2. tuberculosis;
3. syphilis, etc.
4. Diseases and injuries of the brain.
5. Birth injury.
6. Functional or organic hypothalamic-pituitary insufficiency:
   total;
7. partial;
8. Excessive alcohol consumption, parental drug addiction.
9. Poor material conditions:
   malnutrition;
10. avitaminosis.
11. Heredity.

Causes of infantilism in adults aged 20-40:

1. Lesions of the hypothalamus or pituitary gland:
   tumor;
2. traumatic;
3. vascular;
4. infectious-toxic.
5. Improper functioning of the endocrine glands.

The pathogenesis is as follows:

• the central nervous system (CNS) develops slowly, the functional activity of one or more endocrine glands is insufficient;
• metabolic processes are disrupted;
• underdevelopment of the genital organs.

Classification

Mental infantilism can be congenital and acquired, simple and disharmonious.

In simple (harmonic) a person’s immaturity is characterized by behavior that is inappropriate for his age. There is a uniform delay in mental and physical development.

Disharmonic is simple infantilism with additional characteristics:

• mood swings;
• self-love;
• overestimated or underestimated needs;
• increased affective excitability;
• early sexuality;
• cruelty towards the weak and defenseless, etc.

Acquired infantilism is divided into three groups:

• organic (due to damage to the central nervous system);
• somatogenic (due to endocrine and chronic diseases, damage to internal organs);
• psychogenically conditioned (psychological) as a consequence of excessive parental care, pampering or despotic upbringing.

Infantile age

Positive changes in the development of infantile children can be expected by the age of 10-12 years. And here parents should be especially careful: this does not always happen. In some cases, the pace of maturation is so slow that even during this period—early adolescence—infantile children are eager to travel, imagine themselves as famous characters, and dream of exploits and discoveries. Due to the constant desire for new experiences, immature children often run away from home and end up in various adventurous stories.

Sometimes the process of growing up drags on so much that even after adolescence, a young person makes decisions rashly and thoughtlessly, carries out assignments irresponsibly, and his judgments are strikingly naive and superficial. So the consequences of lack of independence in adolescence are much more serious.

The situation is completely subject to correction. A psychologist can help with this and, if necessary, advise you to consult with other specialists. It is better for parents of children prone to infantilism to start acting as early as possible, without waiting until adolescence. Pavlik’s parents, who turned to me for help when the child was 10 years old, managed to change their child’s behavior in time. Perhaps their experience and my recommendations will help other families.

Increased control

Technological progress does not stand still, and parents have a lot of opportunities to control the life of their child. Many schools have introduced a pass system that allows adults to receive notifications on their smartphones when their children come and go from school, which means it’s unlikely to skip class and go unnoticed. The electronic diary system also does not add freedom - now parents are always aware of the child’s progress, the problem of a bad grade is no longer solved by a torn page.

It is also worth noting special applications for phones that allow you to track the location of children in real time. This innovation is very popular, because the parent is calm, knowing where his child is, whether he reached his destination, if he was on the way. Moreover, there are programs that allow you to listen to the sound from your child’s phone, in other words, find out who he is talking to and what he is talking about at the moment.

Parents seek to control their children's lives with good intentions. They are afraid that the child will get into trouble during a walk, get involved with bad company, or have problems with his grades. This leads to the fact that adults give less and less freedom of action to their children. Thus, some teenagers grow up dependent and rely on their elders to solve problems, while others rebel against such care and, as a result, quarrels become more frequent.

The modern parent, trying to protect the child from problems, forgets that we all need personal space. Teach children to be independent, allow them to commit misdeeds and correct their consequences, talk, listen and explain your point of view. The need for total control disappears when the adult and child trust each other.

Medicine possibilities

Treatment and correction includes:

• improvement of living conditions;
• balanced diet;
• taking vitamins;
• physiotherapy;
• psychotherapy (individual or group);
• pharmacotherapy.

Activities should be aimed at the cause of the disease and include a set of necessary measures.

Infantility in psychology

In psychology, infantilism means immaturity of development, a peculiar manifestation of childish behavior in adults, and the term reflects both psychological and physiological factors.

Additional Information. The word “infantility” comes from the Latin infantilis, which translates as “childish.”

What is infantility

In psychiatry, this concept is considered as a pathological delay in development. In medicine, physiological infantilism reflects problems with organs and systems. In the everyday sphere, healthy adults exhibit social and psychological immaturity. Infantile people may outwardly look like adults, but, in fact, they are “big children.”

What the concepts of social and psychological infantilism mean will be clear based on the reasons that lead to their formation.

Restlessness or learning disability?

Infantile children most often study poorly, but not due to a lack of ability. The main difficulty that a teacher or educator faces is the inability of an infantile child to join in the overall work: he does not even try to do it, he randomly asks questions that are not related to the matter. Moreover, this behavior is often combined with the child’s sincere desire to live up to his own ideas about a “good student.” He tries to sit up straight, raises his hand as high as possible, and jumps up joyfully when asked. But after a fairly short time, immediate desires overpower, and the child interrupts the teacher, talks with a neighbor, and walks around the class. Such children are prone to foolishness and clownery; at school they are characterized by restlessness, disinhibition, and inability to behave in class.

Let's try to understand why this happens. For an infantile child, the very situation of communication with an adult or peer is more important, and any task is significant only insofar as it is woven into this communication situation. For example, he stretches out his hand with all his might, asking to be asked. When the teacher calls him, he stands up, proud that he was called, and, smiling joyfully, remains silent. It turns out that the question has already been forgotten, but the child doesn’t even think about it, because he was “summoned”!

Such a child is distracted from his tasks by extraneous sounds, sudden memories, footsteps in the corridor, and his neighbor’s markers, which naturally complicates his learning, and teachers note that he is constantly distracted. Infantile children, as a rule, are inexhaustible in fantasies and games, but in their studies they quickly get tired and fed up. The need for persistent, systematic work causes passive protest in such a child.

Speaking about the infantilism of children, we must remember that immaturity concerns emotional and volitional manifestations, without at all affecting the intellectual sphere: an “forever small” child can be capable and talented. Especially in such areas of human activity as music, invention, writing, acting. After all, high achievements in these areas are possible precisely because of brightness, imagery, vividness of thinking, expressive emotionality and spontaneity of behavior.