Let's be honest: childbirth is a very exciting event, if not “frightening”. Conflicting stories from girlfriends who gave birth, a lot of information on the Internet, but at the same time the “unpredictability” of the upcoming process creates a very serious fear of childbirth in many pregnant women. At the same time, every sane woman understands with her mind that fear is an additional factor of stress and tension, without which the process of giving birth to a child will certainly be easier and more comfortable. How to get rid of this absolutely unnecessary “fear of childbirth”?
First of all, you need to understand that the fear of childbirth is not something abstract. This fear is formed from smaller fears and anxieties before specific events or sensations, which ultimately form the collective “fear of childbirth.” To deal with it, you need to deal with the “smaller” ones.
Fear of pain.
Even in childhood, many girls learn that childbirth is painful. Accordingly, this fear “lives” with them for quite a long time and takes “roots” deeply and thoroughly. It is important to understand that pain can be managed, there are several ways to do this:
- Psychoprophylactic methods, about which you can find a lot of information on the Internet or learn at courses for pregnant women. These methods primarily include special breathing techniques that help to concentrate and reduce pain.
- Epidural anesthesia or drug pain relief, which will certainly relieve you of pain. However, this method has opponents, since this method disrupts the natural course of the birth process. In this case, you should study detailed information about this type of anesthesia, consult with your doctor and make an informed decision. Perhaps in your particular case, epidural anesthesia will be less of an “evil” than panic fear of childbirth.
How to choose a good gynecologist?
Choosing a doctor to manage pregnancy is one of the important tasks, since the health of the wife and her unborn child may depend on his competence. Therefore, when choosing a gynecologist, it is important to carefully consider your decision, weigh the pros and cons and take into account the following points:
1. Advice from the “experienced”
Surely, the woman’s surroundings include friends or just acquaintances who have successfully completed all stages of pregnancy and given birth to a healthy baby. They may be able to recommend a good doctor. You can also chat with women who have recently given birth in various communities and forums and find out which doctors they would recommend.
2. Visit a clinic at your place of residence
Usually, several specialists work in clinics at any one time, so it is worth visiting them to choose, through trial and error, a suitable doctor to whom you can entrust your health and the health of your unborn child. You can also get information about specialists while standing in line with pregnant women.
3. Check the gynecologist for professional suitability
If a woman is in the planning stage of pregnancy, then she can visit at least two gynecologists and compare. The way a specialist conducts an examination and prescribes an examination speaks volumes about his professional suitability.
Important! Good specialists will ask a lot of questions and, if necessary, prescribe additional tests and examinations.
A competent specialist, having heard about the desire to start planning a pregnancy, will advise you to visit a dentist and give a referral for an ultrasound, blood and urine tests.
4. Read reviews on the Internet.
If the expectant mother lives in a large city, then it will be quite easy for her to find information about gynecologists on various forums and social networks. Expectant or established mothers often discuss doctors, share their impressions, tell who helped them give birth to a healthy baby, and who is negligent in their duties.
Important! You should not trust reviews left on the official website of a particular clinic. Often such reviews are written by the staff of these very clinics.
It is also important when choosing a specialist to listen to yourself and your feelings. If, despite the presence of good reviews and recommendations, the chosen doctor does not inspire confidence, then it is better to change the specialist.
Fear of the unknown and “negative” cases.
This is more of a social fear than a biological one: in the information space there are so many “readable” stories of difficult childbirth, severe consequences, complications and dangers that even the most psychologically stable woman begins to “try on” these negative aspects for herself. And even after studying a lot of information about how childbirth takes place, what difficulties may arise during the process, what “signals” of the body you should pay attention to, childbirth is still scary. In this case, you need to constantly remind yourself that medicine also does not stand still, doctors know how to react in certain situations, moreover, in childbirth. Homes have all the necessary equipment for the most complex and emergency cases. For that. To reassure yourself as much as possible in this matter:
- Carefully study all the maternity hospitals “available” to you and choose the one that is most suitable for you.
- Find a good “doctor” and develop an “action plan” for yourself.
- Take your husband or another loved one with you to the maternity hospital, who can help you sort out the documents there, answer all the staff’s questions, protect you and give you confidence.
Why does prenatal depression develop?
There are many factors that trigger the development of prenatal depression. These include illness during pregnancy, stressful life circumstances (for example, relocation), previous lost or complicated pregnancies, past or present violence, financial difficulties and social instability. According to statistics, about eighty percent of prenatal depression is provoked by troubles in the family and discord in relations with the husband. A common cause of the development of prenatal depression is the personal characteristics of women. Young mothers are often afraid of their emotions and get lost in conflicting feelings. This is especially true at the moment when they are faced with the idealized concept of motherhood accepted in society. “Motherhood is a responsibility...”, “a good mother should...”, “a loving mother must...”, etc.
Sometimes prenatal depression is caused by a pregnant woman's worries about her sex life. The husband, concerned about the well-being of the mother and child, tries to disturb them as little as possible and restrains his sexual impulses. As a result, having sex becomes less frequent than before. The woman feels that she has fallen out of love, that her partner has lost interest in her. This leads to signs of depression.
Fear of giving birth to a premature baby.
All you need to know in this case: even if it happens that the baby is born ahead of schedule, modern medicine will help cope with such a situation! A child born at 22 weeks is quite viable, even babies weighing only 500 grams grow up healthy.
Try to think positively and not create additional stress for yourself and your baby, this will only bring anxiety. Get ready for the difficult work that lies ahead of you and your body during the birth process. But this job is quite up to you! Everything will be fine.
How does psychological attitude affect childbirth?
The success of childbirth is influenced by attitudes. The fact is that a woman’s attitude towards childbirth is formed throughout her life. Since childhood, she has heard conversations about this exciting event. These can be stories about torment or about a holiday, long-awaited joy, test or sacrament. Women have different stories about childbirth. But more often these are stories of suffering...
Why do women tend to share negative experiences about childbirth? Firstly, there is a stereotype in society according to which a woman should give birth in pain. Accordingly, if you gave birth without torment and suffering, then it seems like you didn’t “earn” it, didn’t deserve a child...
Another reason may lie in the feminine essence. The fact is that demonstrativeness, as a personality trait, is inherent in most representatives of the fairer sex. This manifests itself in the fact that it is vital for a woman to receive the attention of other people. A woman tends to talk publicly about her experiences many times. Accordingly, narratives about significant events should be dramatic and exciting, and evoke compassion and empathy. Especially childbirth! Here you can not be stingy in describing your own suffering and experiences!
And with what feelings does a nulliparous woman listen to these stories? The mechanism of psychological infection turns on, and... the emotions, feelings, attitudes of another woman become her own.
And there is one more nuance. People are more likely to talk about bad things than good things. We complain more often than we report about successes and achievements, victories and the easy flow of life. At the very least, by complaining and trying on the role of the victim, you can count on sympathy.
So women who have given birth endow those who have not given birth with negative scenarios, attitudes and feelings.
I want a child, but I am very afraid to give birth. What to do?
Pregnancy is an exciting and important stage in a woman’s life. And you need to prepare for it - both physically and emotionally. However, often, due to fear of the birth process itself, conceiving a child is postponed. Obstetrician-gynecologist Olga Vlasenko answers how to overcome anxiety.
Useful Mela newsletter twice a week: Tuesday and Friday
SUBSCRIBE
Question.
My husband and I want a child, but I'm afraid to give birth. Just the thought of it makes me panic and terrified. I am also very sensitive to pain and scared of blood. What to do?
Answer.
Fear of childbirth is a rather delicate and difficult topic for many women, but, fortunately, in the conditions of modern medicine, it is easily solvable.
Before planning a pregnancy, I would advise contacting a perinatal psychologist. He will answer all your questions and, most importantly, work through your fears. This will seriously make it easier for you during the upcoming period.
During pregnancy itself, it will not be superfluous to attend special courses. Thanks to them, you will understand how childbirth occurs, what a woman feels during this period, and so on. The fears that arise during the pregnancy stage will pass - you will become more confident, you will learn all the nuances: when more serious contractions begin, what should be done at the moment of their onset, how you can help yourself.
At the same time, you should choose an obstetrician who will accompany you during childbirth. Get to know him in advance and, being already pregnant, discuss all the points that concern you. Explain that you are very sensitive, afraid of pain, and need the most comfortable conditions for childbirth.
In general, in such cases, epidural anesthesia is often used, and this is what the doctor may suggest. There is no need to be afraid of it, it is safe, and most importantly, there are no serious consequences. Unless there is a possibility of a headache on the third day after childbirth. In addition, you can choose the convenient method of administering this drug and even the dosage yourself (but this will be discussed on site with the anesthesiologist during childbirth). Your doctor and obstetrician can also help you find a good anesthesiologist - discuss all the details with him in advance - and most likely there will be no problems with the introduction of epidural anesthesia.
As for the birth process itself, you don’t have to watch it. You definitely won't see any blood, so don't worry about that.
Thus, the main thing is to have a reliable team nearby, which consists of a perinatal psychologist, an obstetrician, an anesthesiologist and a specialist from courses to prepare for childbirth. These people will help you through all stages - from conception to birth.
Ask your question to “Mel”, and the editors will find someone who can answer it. Write to our social networks - we read all messages on pages on Facebook, VKontakte and Odnoklassniki. You can also write to us on Instagram. Answers will be published in order in the “Question - Answer” section. By the way, we do not reveal names, so questions can be anything (feel free!).
We thank our intern Daria Lushkina for her assistance in preparing the material. Cover photo: Shutterstock/PixieMe
Relaxation is the key to promoting natural labor
Childbirth is a long process. And it is important to distribute your strength so that you can rest for most of the first period, while low-intensity contractions are going on. This will allow, firstly, not to interfere with the development of labor, and, secondly, to save strength for the last hour of the first period, when contractions become frequent and very noticeable, and in order to perform physical work in pushing. Particularly important is relaxation of the pelvic area (in the first and second periods) and relaxation of the mouth (relaxation of the orbicularis oris muscles correlates with relaxation of the cervix). A woman's tense state deprives her of natural pain relief during childbirth. During contractions, natural “drugs” are produced - endorphin hormones, they are also called “joy hormones”, and the peak release of endorphins occurs during the period when the baby passes through the cervix, which is especially rich in pain receptors. However, stress hormones inhibit the production of endorphins, and a woman in a state of tension is deprived of natural pain relief.
Trust in what is happening to you and your child
Conception, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding - all these are links in one chain that serves the main goal - the continuation of life on Earth. Although we say: “a woman gives birth,” the expression “through what happens to a woman, a child is born” would be more accurate. Thus, the center of childbirth is the child and the will of the Creator. When the baby is ready to be born, signals are sent from it to the mother's brain, and the brain triggers the labor mechanism.
Humility and concentration on the fact that we are fulfilling the most important task of our lives, helping the child to be born through ourselves, allows us to carry out childbirth meaningfully and with a positive attitude. Trusting nature pays off handsomely. After all, nature made sure that the contractions developed gradually, so that the woman could adapt to her sensations and her sensitivity to pain decreased, besides, there is always a gap between contractions for rest and in the first period it is always longer than the contraction itself.
