- 28.01.2017
- Animals, Dogs, Articles, Explanatory
This article doesn't have a fancy introduction. I would like to avoid empty phrases about what a four-legged friend meant in the life of a loving owner. How to survive the death of a dog or help loved ones who find themselves in a similar situation? The materials in the article are based on the work of psychology professor Fyodor Vasilyuk and the experience of dog breeders who also experienced the death of their pets. We really hope that our advice will help you.
Why is it so difficult to cope with the death of a dog?
Having an animal at home is always a positive emotion. Of course, pets need care, sometimes they behave noisily and spoil things, but this is compensated by the affection and love that your dog can give. A person gets used to taking care of a pet and devotes energy to raising the dog. When all this suddenly ends (death occurs), it is difficult to return to normal life, because it will not be the same.
He wasn't "just a dog"
Coexistence with an animal for a long period in the same territory leaves an imprint on the entire family. For loving people, a dog becomes a member of the family without regrets or doubts. They give him a worthy name, allocate a place at home, feed him, host him, some even allow him to sleep on the owners’ bed, take him on trips, celebrate holidays together. In appearance, it seems that the pet has always been, is and will be with this family - an idyll. But the lifespan of pets (dogs, in particular) is not so significant - 10-15 years. Sooner or later the dog will die, but he will be remembered by his loved ones in whose family he grew up.
I feel out of place
If a dog that lived with its owners died, not all acquaintances/friends will support such an idea as a funeral according to Old Slavonic traditions - in the ground. They may say that an animal is “just a dog,” not knowing that a pet can be smarter, more caring, and more affectionate than many people. The owner has the right to experience pain after the loss of a pet. Animal-averse skeptics are unlikely to understand why a dog is accepted into the home as a family member.
Give yourself time
The process of experiencing grief does not need to be forced or rushed. There is no set schedule for him. Naturally, we want unpleasant emotions to end as soon as possible. However, by holding back our feelings and denying sadness, we only postpone the confrontation with negative emotions. If you feel like crying and screaming, find a safe place to do it. Don't hold back. It is also very important not to blame yourself for the long experience of grief - each of us has our own pace.
“It is important to go through all the stages of acceptance and experience all the emotions that arise during this process - grief, guilt, depression, and emptiness inside. This is important for long-term well-being. If people prevent themselves from feeling sad, nostalgic, and in pain, this can have a negative impact on psychological well-being.”
Svetlana Suleymanova
What to do after the death of a dog to avoid falling into deep depression
Considering the importance of a pet for a person, it will be buried according to the rules: buried so that people can come to the grave. This is one way to alleviate the condition of a dog owner when the animal dies. For those grieving, there are other tips on what to do if a dog dies.
Take care of yourself
The loss of a pet can cause apathy, depression, and a difficult emotional state. It is not always possible to cope with this on your own. The owner of the animal loses the meaning of life and can give up on himself: he does not take care of himself, is not interested in the outside world, and withdraws when someone tries to talk. This is an extreme option that will not bring the dog back, but there is a high risk of ruining your life, since it is more difficult to recover after a long period of grief. It is necessary to endure a period of mourning, after which you can gradually return to life.
There is an opportunity to show respect to an animal: to remember often, to share these memories.
Be natural in your expressions of emotion
Grief may manifest itself in the same way, but the reasons vary from person to person. For a person, the death of a dog is no less a loss than the death of a loved one, because he lived with his pet side by side for ten years or even more. The owner has the right to feel any emotions about this, but several of them are noted, which determine the stages of grief:
- negation;
- anger, resentment;
- depression;
- despair;
- Adoption.
If a person lives through all of them, he will be able to overcome the test and continue life, which will no longer be the same from the moment the animal dies. Otherwise, the grieving process will drag on indefinitely.
Don't cultivate denial
If a dog dies, what to do in this case: some owners cannot come to terms with it, do not believe in the death of the animal, which entails a series of misunderstandings with relatives and problems. You need to accept everything that happens to the animal. Escaping reality will not help either the pet or its owner.
You should live with the image of your favorite animal in your memory.
Don't rush to look for a replacement
People are not always ready to voluntarily experience pain and other difficult emotions. They can try to avoid this by getting another dog. This should be a puppy, which will allow you to raise it taking into account your own requirements. The danger of such an act is that the owner will project love and other feelings for the first dog that were not lived through onto the new pet. Often people wait for the pain to go away, but do nothing to change the situation. There are fears that history will repeat itself, only with different characters.
Share your grief
Members of the family in which a beloved dog grew up and later died must support each other. So, everyone experiences the pain of loss; grieving together will speed up the recovery process. It is important to remember that loneliness is not the best adviser, and staying too long without loved ones in grief is a direct road to phobias and depression.
When loved ones communicate with each other and share memories of the animal, this helps support the spirit of the grieving and preserve the memory of the pet.
Keep a diary
When a dog dies, you want to remember every minute spent with the animal. There is no need to wait for death; you should immediately start recording memories of your pet and adding photos to your diary. This will allow you to support the owner when the time comes to put the dog to sleep, accept this fact and come to terms with it, and continue living without the dog.
Create a memory album
If a serious illness is suddenly discovered in an animal, it is not possible to prepare for its death. The pet's owner can come to the clinic, spend the last hours, and help him leave if the dog is in severe pain (it will have to be euthanized). There are more opportunities to make a memory album if you have time to prepare for the inevitable. Such a book should contain photographs and small objects reminiscent of your pet.
Give kindness
When an animal dies, it is necessary to find a way to survive this grief after its death. The owner should seek solace in loved ones - shared memories will support the people who loved the dog. But often this is not enough, so you need to find something more significant. You can help animals that don't have a home. Among them there are always enough of those who need food, a roof over their heads, a true friend.
You can start with street animals; you should gradually take patronage over those who live in shelters.
Friend for an elderly dog
To survive the loss, the owner of the deceased animal finds the dogs on the street, helps, feeds them. But it is relatively easy to do this for young dogs. Only there are also old ones; as a rule, no one takes care of them, considering that they are already dying dogs, which in any case will soon die. You can pay attention to such animals, become their friend, show sympathy and take one home. But it’s enough to simply feed them and place at least some of them in shelters.
Pet color
An animal dies due to illness or old age, but unexpected death also occurs. In such a situation, the meaning will take on the most varied, since much depends on the color of the dead dog’s coat.
Black
If a dark-colored pet died in the house, the family was freed from some otherworldly force. According to esotericists, the dog who suddenly died took with him damage and all kinds of curses that ill-wishers brought upon the owners.
With its unexpected death, the animal saved the inhabitants of the house from the destructive effects of the negative program placed on them by the magician.
White
The death of a pet with light fur promises trouble. The unexpected departure of a white dog can predict:
- family quarrels and discord;
- breaking up with a loved one;
- loss of a good friend;
- the beginning of a “black” period, a period of joyless and unpleasant events;
- betrayal or infidelity of the other half.
Ginger
If a dog with fiery fur dies in the house, this is the beginning of financial difficulties. The loss of a red pet symbolizes unsuccessful deals, dismissals from work, friction with superiors and contracts that will only bring losses. Old friends who borrowed money from you may not pay back the debts. Loss and theft are possible.
The red dog is a symbol of material well-being, so its sudden death promises collapse in finance.
Grey
An ash-colored dog is the guardian of the home aura, so its death brings with it problems of a domestic and everyday nature: sudden quarrels with relatives, someone leaving home, conflicts among married couples and difficulties in the relationship between parents and children.
Schoolchildren and students have problems with peers and classmates, as well as poor performance in school or university disciplines.
How to console and encourage a person who has lost a dog: words of support
It is impossible to bring back a deceased pet, and it is difficult to survive his death. It takes patience to deal with emotions. Relatives and friends may also worry when they see the dog owner suffering. This can be expressed in words of condolences:
“I sincerely sympathize with you”
“(nickname) was a wonderful, faithful friend”
“Hold on, your beloved dog will remain with us forever in our memory”
Words of support for a person who has experienced the death of a relative are easier to find than in the case of the sudden death of a dog. According to information from dog breeders and dog handlers, the owners of such animals do not like being constantly reminded of their loss. As a rule, condolences are perceived with disapproval, because they seem to carry no meaning and are pronounced out of politeness.
This means that you should speak sincerely if you want to support your friend.
How long will the grief last?
The main thing to remember is that grief takes time. You will always miss your companion, but things will get better. At first there will be more bad days than good ones.
Then you will find that the bad days and the good days are equal. Soon you'll have fewer bad days and it'll be easier to focus on happy memories with less sadness.
Your pet's memory can always be bittersweet for you.
Future pets can't replace your lost companion, but they can help fill the void. Just remember to wait for the right time.
It is an unfortunate reality that people will most likely outlive their pets. All you can do is be grateful for the short time you get to share your life with these fellows.
Poems for the death of a dog
When a beloved animal dies, melancholy may periodically set in. To support the dog’s owner, you can prepare poems about the deceased pet after his death:
☨ ☨ ☨
Holding you in my arms, I’m crying for you for a reason - After all, only a kind soul Moves into a dog’s house. (E. Yevtushenko)
☨ ☨ ☨
When the skies are suddenly full of clouds, Dropping the coolness of the rains onto the ground, Their dog souls fly above us, Possessing good and kind people. (P. Brosky)
☨ ☨ ☨
Take care of yourself
During periods when you are experiencing particularly intense sadness, it is important not to forget about your mental and physical health. Yes, it will be difficult, so the easiest way is to make a list with the items you need to keep track of daily:
- take a shower;
- have breakfast, lunch and dinner regularly;
- do light exercise;
- Go for a walk at least ten minutes a day.
Think about everything you do regularly and try to continue doing it. Don't forget to praise yourself for small changes - if you were able to calmly look at photos of your pet or didn't cry at the memory, make a mental note and be happy about it.
When a dog dies, what does it take with it: signs
If the animal is still in the earthly world, but is already dying, the owner looks for a way to help the dog. One of the options for helping a grieving person is to look for good omens:
- if a strange dog gets attached to you on the street, be kind;
- to see dogs actively playing - for a wedding;
- If family members are sick, you need to give the dog a sandwich.
There are also bad omens associated with dogs. It is believed that there will be a funeral in the house if:
- the dog dug a hole in the garden;
- a dog is heard howling;
- The dog does not finish the food after a person who is sick.
How to get rid of the feeling of guilt about euthanasia
How to place kittens in good hands: tips
The dog does not always die on its own. Unfortunately, there are cases when the owner has to make a difficult decision about euthanasia. Of course, every owner hopes to the last that the dog will be helped, it will be cured and everything will be as before. Many inexperienced owners sometimes do not understand how an animal suffers when it cannot even express its pain in words. However, in such cases it is necessary to show a certain composure and make the right decision about euthanasia.
Important! If there is even a minimal chance that the pet will survive, euthanasia should not even be considered.
In severe cases, a similar procedure is performed and the pet dies quietly in its sleep. The owner cannot always come to terms with this, but psychologists recommend reassuring yourself that this was the only right choice.
Euthanasia is sometimes a necessary procedure
Question answer
Are dogs cremated?
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
To bury an animal, you should study the current legislation. Thus, it has long been prohibited to bury domestic animals on land not intended for this purpose. If the dog happens to die, you need to contact the veterinarian, he will take care of the dead pet. The most common method of burial is burial or scattering of ashes after cremation. This is a difficult procedure. A person who has experienced this will doubt for a long time whether it is necessary to get another pet and why do it when losing a dog is so difficult.
Cremation
How to stop blaming yourself for the death of your dog?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
If a dog dies, they begin to look for the cause of what happened. This makes it easier to cope with the loss. When it is possible to find out what contributed to the death, a feeling of guilt arises. This could be unsuitable dog food, which caused disruptions in the functioning of internal organs due to inconsistency in the composition, swallowed hard sharp objects, poison from neighbors, etc. The owner feels guilty, it is not easy to get rid of it, it is a long process. It is important to show wisdom and come to the understanding that it is impossible to take into account all negative factors. It is not man who controls the lives of his animals, but God.
Where is the best place to bury a pet?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
Regardless of whether a puppy or an adult dog has died, there can be one burial place. For this, only 2 options are considered: cremation, burial in a pet cemetery. The second method is more preferable, since it will be possible to come to the grave. But this is a relatively new type of service, and therefore is not offered in all cities. You can say the last words over the grave, and leave an epitaph on the stone tombstone, for example, an excerpt from the parable: “A man died, his dog lay down next to him and also died.” She talks about the loyalty and devotion of pets, how they miss a deceased person.
What's the best way to say goodbye to your pet?
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
If the animal died in the arms of its owner after euthanasia, there will be an opportunity to say goodbye to the beloved dog: to talk, to finally say important words face to face. Then you can pick up the body; you will have to transport it yourself to the place of burial or cremation. But often animals die unexpectedly. They leave their owners in a matter of hours, minutes or 1 day. All that remains is to say goodbye before burning the corpse or burying it in the traditional way.
Does a dog have a soul?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
It must be taken into account that the souls of dogs and people are different. Every living thing on earth is animated. However, in plants and animals the soul is not separated from the body. According to Scripture (Lev. 17:11), animals have no such thing as an incorruptible shell. Their soul is not separate from the physical body, but is blood. This means that after death, the biological fluid will decay and fall into the ground. It follows from this that the soul in this case is pronounced in the context of the earthly, and not the spiritual. It animates the body, that is, it makes it alive and allows it to be distinguished from inanimate nature.
On what forums is it better to share your experiences?
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
There are websites that offer highly specialized products for pets, and there are often sections for people to communicate on topics that interest them, related to animals. There are quite a few such forums, you can find a suitable one in your region, but if you couldn’t choose the right one, there is always the opportunity to communicate with people on all-Russian forums. Such sites are structured in a similar way, and the loss of a dog is often raised among the issues for discussion.
Do old dogs leave?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
There is a belief that aged cats leave their usual habitat, go to where they feel comfortable in order to find their final refuge. There is plenty of evidence of the same behavior, but among dogs. This applies to animals living in private houses, not apartments. Here you have the opportunity to leave the owner’s home to find your death further away. Many people tell stories about how animals that seem healthy leave and never return. There is also evidence that dogs, even in very poor condition, try to at least get out of the house and die immediately.
What epitaphs are best for a dog?
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
The last words were written on gravestones in Ancient Rome and Greece. It was a duty to pay my last respect to my beloved pet. Texts in poetic form are widespread. Example: There is no friend more loyal than a dog. What a pity, we understand this too late. No more wet nose poking your cheek, No one will wake you up in the morning with barking.
You can give preference to prose and compose your own epitaph, for example: “We have been through a lot. A true friend forever." Another option: “I miss my dog. My faith in you is unshakable, sleep well.”
Do they erect monuments to dogs?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
Even in ancient times, expensive tombstones were installed for animals in full height and together with the owner. On modern graves you can see a bowl, a leash that is attached to the collar on the dog. But such monuments are not related to Christian tombstones; they should not contain ritual religious attributes.
In what cases is it better to euthanize a dog?
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
Euthanasia is chosen when the dog is doomed, in agony, or in severe pain. Even if the dog’s owner knows that he may lose the animal, his dearest friend in the world, he decides to take medicated sleep so that the pet stops suffering. This procedure is not prohibited; it can be recommended taking into account the dog’s condition. But the owner has a choice: to cope with the disease and its consequences independently or in a clinic; alleviate the suffering of the animal, put it to sleep.
How to explain to a child that his friend is no longer there?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
The direction of thought when talking to children about losing a pet depends on their age. A child 3 years of age and older intuitively senses what death means, because he may notice the prolonged absence of a pet and the concern of adults. The main recommendation of psychologists in such cases is honesty. It is necessary to briefly explain what happened to the animal (it died suddenly), but it is advisable to bury it - to conduct a simplified impromptu ceremony. This will allow the child to visualize what he heard earlier and to better understand what was said.
When is the best time to get a dog?
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
At first, the owner does not know how to cope with the loss of the dog. Gradually, life begins to improve, everything returns to normal. But the animal is not forgotten, its memory is preserved, this does not allow you to purchase another dog. Most often, owners begin to consider the option of buying a new pet after 3-6 months, less often - after 1 year or more. The timing depends on how quickly the person was able to overcome their grief associated with the loss of the dog after the death of the animal. In some cases, the decision to take another dog into your home never comes.
How to support a person whose animal is dying?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
Dog breeders give advice to the relatives of a person whose dog has died. First of all, sincerity is important. You don't even have to say anything. You should also not divert the conversation towards religion, saying that the dog’s soul will rest in heaven in 40 days. Its owner can profess Orthodoxy, according to the canons of which the soul of an animal is its blood, which means it is not separated from the body, goes into the ground, turns into dust.
After the death of a dog, when can you get a new one?
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
Owners often grieve for their pets for quite a long time. They cannot cope with the death of a friend. The breed doesn't matter, be it a Shepherd, Yorkie or Poodle. But the wound is healing, and over time there will be a need to get another dog. Some people acquire a pet shortly after the death of the previous one, while others remain lonely and live without a pet for the rest of their lives. This means that there are no strict deadlines, you can focus on your psychological state.
The old dog left home, did she go to die?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
There is no scientific evidence that a dog goes off in an unknown direction to die far from the home where it lived. However, numerous testimonies from animal owners confirm this theory. Many dogs that live in private homes, have freedom of movement, anticipate their death, and try to leave their owners.
How to support a person whose dog has died?
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
In any tragic situation, it is important to show sincerity. Words for a grieving person have little meaning; they are often not given weight, especially against the backdrop of the indifference of the one who utters them. However, if a person puts feeling into what he says, a touch and a look is enough to support him. But mourning etiquette requires politeness and tact, so it is better to stick to neutral, universal phrases: “I mourn with you,” “I’m sorry for your loss.”
How to survive the euthanasia of a dog?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
When an animal is sick for a long time, the logical end comes - it’s time for him to leave. Sometimes a person has to take part in this. Euthanasia is a procedure that results in the death of an animal. This is a great grief for the dog’s owner, but one can be consoled by the fact that the dog is no longer suffering. It is important that at this time there is a close, loving, caring person next to him. This is an opportunity to say goodbye to your pet, then you can bury him.
How to cope with the death of a puppy?
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
When a person decides to take a dog home, he becomes attached to it almost immediately. The amount of love an owner has for his pet is enormous, which is also the cause of great grief when a puppy dies. You can survive a tragedy if you have close people nearby. It is necessary to preserve the memory of the dog, a couple of toys, a photo. At the initial stage, you should remove them so as not to cause pain, but then you can return them, remembering your pet. It is important to survive the pain, not to hide it at the bottom of the soul, because sooner or later it can rise again, this will cause a second wave of grief.
Can a dog die of boredom?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
The magnitude of the animal’s suffering away from its owner is shown in the films: “Hachiko”, “White Bim, Black Ear”. But it’s not only in movies that such situations can become reality. They are possible in life, if a person gives all his love to an animal, the pet feels it and nourishes tender feelings in return. This is a very strong connection that is almost impossible to break. When one of them disappears, the second will wait, yearn, and eventually die if he is not found.
Soul of a dog after 40 days
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
According to the canons of Orthodoxy, in animals the soul is not separated from the body. After death, it falls into the ground along with the ashes. But this is an incomplete picture; you can find out what esotericists think about the death of the dog. They claim that the souls of dead animals in the next world are looked after by the owner's relatives.
How to survive a dog's illness?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
Sudden death is one of the most terrible phenomena, when there is no way to come to terms with what happened. If the animal is sick for a long time, the owner will have time to adapt to the news about the dog’s imminent death. But this doesn’t make it any easier, because soon the opportunity to hear and see your pet will disappear. To survive such grief, you need to enlist the support of loved ones, find an outlet in hobbies, activities that bring grace and benefit. There is another way - helping homeless animals.
If a dog is killed, what should you do?
Expert opinion
Lavrova Tatyana
Rehabilitation specialist, psychologist
The first reaction of an owner who has lost a dog is the need to find those responsible for the crime. But in the absence of witnesses this is impossible. The magnitude of grief will be enormous regardless of the cause of the pet's death. You can try to help those pets who need it. This way the owner will be able to at least partially compensate for his absence from the deceased dog’s side. This will bring relief.
I had to put my dog to sleep, how can I cope with the guilt?
Expert opinion
Nadezhda Dubrovskaya
Practicing psychologist, Master of Psychology RGSU, Moscow
The feeling of guilt depends on the reason that prompted a person to act in a certain way. If his intentions were noble, based on the interests of others, then he should not torture himself. The decision to perform euthanasia is made carefully, taking into account the condition of the animal. If a person sees that a dog is dying, it will be gone in 1 hour, 1 day, but will suffer all this time, then euthanasia is still the only possible way out of the situation. This means that the person is not at fault.
How to survive the death of a beloved dog: advice from a priest
Father Vladimir
Clergyman
Ask a Question
The pet's soul will not go to heaven, like the incorruptible shell of a person. But that doesn't mean the dog doesn't deserve a goodbye. It is necessary to bury the remains of the animal, large dogs are cremated, small people are usually hidden and buried. To survive tragedies, you need to find something to do. Having grieved at the initial stage after the death of an animal, the need for loved ones and work will soon appear. Let everything take its course; you should not artificially prolong the period of grief, nor should you rush too much to return to your previous life.
He was my friend
People, having lost their beloved dog, which was very old or suffered from an extremely serious illness, experience various negative emotions. In one case, they are “killed” because it seems to them that life is over, they begin to torment themselves with thoughts about where they made a mistake, why they did not choose the time to visit the veterinary clinic.
In another, suffering from loss and realizing that they are painfully missing a pet, they understand that they did everything in their power, but age or illness did not provide a chance for a successful outcome. However, they understand that this is the end of the pet’s severe suffering.
Both types of behavior described are united by a feeling of loss and a person’s poor condition. Everyone understands that they need to survive this somehow, but they don’t know how. In reality, everything is not so simple...
