Don't touch me, don't touch me! The psychologist spoke about the causes and manifestations of social phobia

Social anxiety (synonyms: social phobia, social anxiety disorder) is the fear that something will be done in front of other people that will cause a negative assessment from others.

With social anxiety, everyday communication with others causes intense fear, anxiety, embarrassment, and anxiety that others will study or judge. This obsessive anxiety leads to avoidance of communication, severe stress can affect the daily routine, work or study suffers. Social anxiety disorder most often first appears in childhood or adolescence, although it can sometimes begin in adults or older adults.

Signs of social anxiety disorder include obsessive fears:

• condemnation;
• embarrassment or humiliation;
• communicating with a group of people as a whole or with strangers;
• being noticed that you look worried;
• physical signs of embarrassment, such as flushing, sweating, body trembling, or a shaky voice.

With social anxiety, behavior always changes:

• contact with people is avoided or sharply limited due to fear of embarrassment;
• Avoid situations where you have to be the center of attention;
• analyzing your actions after communicating with people, identifying shortcomings during joint interaction;
• expectation of dire consequences from negative experiences after such communication;
• In children, anxiety is often accompanied by crying, irritation, fear of being alone without parents, or refusal to speak in front of other people.

Social anxiety disorder only manifests itself during social activities (communication, performance, making acquaintances). In isolation or in habitual constant communication, social phobia may not manifest itself.

Psychiatrists have described many examples where a person suffering from social phobia does not leave the house for years, yet feels good (he can even study and work without leaving home), lives, gets used to this way of existence and is not even burdened by it. When you try to take such a person outside, a strong inexplicable fear turns on.

Mental manifestations of social anxiety include all shades of fear, constant avoidance of communication and performance.

Physical manifestations of social anxiety: palpitations, trembling (or a feeling of shaking), sweating, nausea, diarrhea, feeling short of breath, dizziness, muscle tension.

Distinctive characteristics of social phobia

The main characteristic feature of social phobia is the presence of an obsessive, illogical fear of performing any action in public. Moreover, the manifestations of such fear can be diverse. Some people have a panicky fear of speaking in front of an audience, regardless of the number of outside spectators present. Other representatives, both female and male, are horrified that someone is watching them. Also for many, the fear of leaving the confines of their home, city and finding themselves in an unfamiliar society is a familiar one. Often, those who are susceptible to such a mental disorder are not able to perform any actions at all when they are surrounded by other people and need to be left alone for complete comfort.

Creative people, such as writers and artists, are often susceptible to social phobia. However, the disorder can also affect people engaged in mental work, especially among IT workers. Quite a lot of social phobes can be found among avid gamers who cannot imagine life outside the virtual playground.

Due to the fact that the disease can coexist with other psychotic disorders, it can significantly poison the life of any person, preventing them from solving everyday issues, getting a job and improving their personal life. It can also be dangerous if a depressive disorder is added, against which alcohol dependence .

Social phobia: how to stop being afraid of people

Social phobia is an intense fear or discomfort associated with communicating or being in public. Most often, anxiety is caused by unusual situations, being in the center of attention, or being evaluated by other people (taking an exam, reading a report).

Example: Nikita is a third-year university student. Today is the first day of the new semester. Before the holidays, the group was asked to make a presentation. Nikita understands that this is an ordinary homework assignment, but having to speak in front of his fellow students makes him afraid. Ever since school he has been afraid to speak in public. It doesn’t matter how many listeners are in the audience, his voice still begins to tremble, he blushes, and after the speech he suffers from shame. There are still a few months left before I defend my coursework, but thoughts about it are already causing anxiety.

Some people are shy—they feel embarrassed when meeting strangers or when applying for a new job. With social phobia, the fear of others is so strong that it leads to avoidance of communication. It can appear long before the planned event, and a person is ready to go to great lengths in order not to get into a painful situation for himself. The cause of social phobia is an irrational fear of negative evaluation from others. A person does not stop being afraid, even if he understands that there are no objective reasons for this. Those who suffer from social anxiety often view their fear of people as a personality trait that cannot be changed. In reality this is not the case. You can get rid of social phobia. In this article we will talk about the symptoms, causes and ways to overcome this disease.

Social anxiety affects about one in ten people, but not everyone affected by this problem has the same fear. Some people suffer from doubts about their attractiveness, others are afraid of appearing stupid or too nervous to others. Some people are afraid of any communication, while for others only certain situations are a problem, such as communication with the opposite sex or superiors. The most common social fear is the fear of public speaking.

Situations that often cause discomfort in people with social phobia:

• meeting new people;
• communication with representatives of the opposite sex;
• stage performances;
• being in the spotlight;
• criticism or teasing from others;
• dates;
• telephone calls;
• performing work under supervision;
• informal communication with unfamiliar people;
• communication with government officials and people with high social status;
• answers in front of the class;
• using the toilet in public places;
• exams;
• visiting cafes and restaurants;
• speaking at meetings;
• attending holidays and meetings.

Common causes of social phobia

In most cases, social phobia arises in childhood after an immature person had to experience a strong emotion in a negative way, which was then repressed from the area of ​​consciousness. Often, the culprit behind the emergence of obsessive fear is the shame that was experienced during a particular unpleasant situation. Just then, the subconscious of a child, faced with a traumatic event, due to the inability to correctly assess the current circumstances, displaces the incorrectly accepted experience. Moreover, such a repressed emotion does not make itself felt until the moment when a similar situation arises, but at an older age. Despite the fact that a person logically realizes the causelessness of the excitement, he loses control over his own body. A profuse sweat occurs, the heartbeat quickens, and the sudden outbreak of uncontrollable emotions that arises rivets you in place. This picture is observed due to the fact that a previously experienced shock, which was incorrectly perceived at the time, is recorded in the life program as the optimal way to protect the delicate psyche.

Also, one of the reasons for the presence of social phobia is perverted stereotypes of belief, when a person considers himself a worthless person who will be subject to criticism immediately after he makes himself known. However, during the research work, it was also revealed that social phobia is closely related to both a deficiency of certain neurotransmitters. Another physiological cause was identified as excessive excitation in certain areas of the brain. Also, many cases have shown a direct relationship between abnormal fear of other people and the presence of schizophrenic mental disorder .

Reasons for the development of the disorder

Most cases of social phobia are associated with the costs of upbringing in childhood. Excessive care and protection from “excessive” communication lead to shyness, the inability to independently make new contacts, and build communication with other people. The other extreme is the overly picky, critical attitude of parents. As a result: the formation of fear of lack of love, emotional deprivation, low self-esteem, conviction of insufficient attractiveness, ability to interest interlocutors.

The cause of social phobia may be a certain traumatic event that caused a surge of negative emotions: a bad date, aggression, inadequate reaction from other people, ridicule, loss of reputation, experienced feelings of shame, resentment, disappointment. In children, the impetus for the development of the disorder is the negative attitude of peers and quarrels with classmates.

Factors that increase the risk of social phobia:

• limited social circle;
• monotonous work that does not involve much contact with other people;
• accentuation of character: tendency to loneliness, quiet leisure, increased vulnerability, isolation;
• physical features;
• health defects: visual defects, hearing defects, speech, neurological disorders.

Among patients with social phobia there are people of different status, level of intelligence, education, and position in society.

In an effort to muffle anxiety and restlessness, social phobes often resort to doping: alcohol, psychostimulants, drugs. Substances that relieve nervous tension temporarily neutralize the phobia, restore comfort after unpleasant situations, and drown out emotions. Over time, passion develops into addiction, further destroying the personality. Safer methods of substitution are hobbies that you can indulge in alone: ​​computer games, reading, collecting.

Effective methods for getting rid of social phobia

It is possible to completely eliminate the presence of social phobia only with competent action on the main cause of excessive fear. This can be achieved through the practice of cognitive behavioral therapy, which should be carried out in conjunction with carefully selected drug treatment. The clinic’s specialists can choose the right approach to treatment in each individual case. Korsakov, who has impressive experience in successfully helping patients suffering from the harmful manifestations of social phobia. Depending on the situation, doctors may use hypnotherapy using deep immersion. At each stage of treatment, a qualified psychologist works with the patient, encouraging him to talk through the existing problem in order to get rid of it as effectively as possible.

What is the difference between a social phobe and an introvert?

How can you understand that a person suffers from social phobia and does not just prefer to be alone?

An introvert can communicate when necessary, although he does not particularly enjoy it. Such a person is able to step over a certain discomfort, like all other people. For example, most people have the so-called fear of public speaking, except those who have not worked with it specifically.

“First of all, you need to understand for yourself: if there is a certain tension in communication, does it cause discomfort or is it completely satisfactory,” Dernov advised. “It’s comfortable for an introvert to be alone, he doesn’t suffer from it.”

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FAQ

The following are answers to questions often asked by people who talk about social phobia and even experience it.

How can I stop thinking that everyone around me is looking at me?

Sorry, but this is stupid. You are a person like everyone else. Try not to concentrate on it. Take care of yourself, but do not mentally make your appearance an object of close attention to others. Tell yourself often that other people are primarily concerned about their own affairs. Think about the pace of modern life. It is unlikely that even a single person, rushing somewhere or immersed in his own thoughts, is concerned about the assessment of others. Yes, there are such people, but if they evaluate, then they evaluate everyone at once. You alone are not of any special interest to them.

How many phobias are there?

Complex issue. Some say that there are more than 300 of them, others that there are more than 500. The most common ones are associated with social situations, fear of heights, and a number of animals (dogs, spiders). No less common are fears of the dark, loneliness, doctors, clowns and more. Every time you start to think that you are an abnormal person, remember that the people around you almost certainly experience at least one fear. And it can be so ridiculous that it simply pales in comparison to social anxiety. There are also much more serious disorders related to the feeling of fear. Remember: you need to fight any fears. They don't bring anything good into people's lives.

What is the fear of being watched?

Depends on the context and subtext of the situation, circumstances. In some cases it is customary to talk about persecution mania, in others about paranoia. In the first case, we are talking about a thinking disorder, a person’s delusional belief that he is constantly being watched by one person, a group of people, or simply everyone, even passers-by. In the case of paranoia, tied to the fear of persecution, we are talking primarily about systematized and deliberately constructed ideas and delusional ideas in the mind; in this state, a person begins to feel that those around him, even cameras in stores, are aimed exclusively at him.

How not to be afraid to enter into conflict?

Conflicts are bad in any case, but sometimes you have to go through them. If you are afraid of conflicting with people even when they are up to it, try using the following tips:

• if a problem (conflict) requires overcoming due to the likelihood of uncontrollable developments, do not let everything take its course, take responsibility for overcoming the situation;
• openness is not always a bad thing. If your opinion is objective and can put an end to the conflict, then it needs to be voiced;
• reevaluate conflicts as such, reconsider them. They surround us and are sometimes necessary. For any healthy relationship, conflict is not a death sentence, but a way to solve a particular problem;
• keep calm. Conflict is not always about aggression and shouting.

What should I do if I'm afraid of everything?

Here are 8 recommendations to help cope with fears:

1. Accept your fears. Without them, life would be boring. Without the feeling of fear, people would not exist. Sometimes fear is what gives direction. However, we are talking about natural and normal fears, not phobias.
2. Try to control your instincts. When some, even natural, fear begins to take the form of a phobia, fight it. An example is social phobia. We have already written about how to deal with it. Read the section “How to get rid of social anxiety?”
3. Look at situations as consequences of your choices. When the awareness of responsibility for actions and deeds comes, then fears will gradually begin to recede. Why? Because along with responsibility, the ability to control oneself will begin to develop.
4. Don't be afraid of objections and criticism. Especially objective ones.
5. Try to make your fears work for you. Do you not accept value judgments of other people towards you, are you afraid that they will be negative? Then carefully select your environment: let it contain only sensible and objective people who will rarely evaluate you adequately to reality. Subsequently, your self-esteem will increase. This is just an example. Any fear can be made to be useful if you cannot get rid of it.
6. Control your thoughts. When unnecessary and even trash thoughts take over the mind, this is bad. It’s good when, as if you were cleaning the house, you can always put things in order in your head.
7. Listen to your fears. Assess their impact on you. Is it positive? Then everything is fine. Is it negative? Then give fear a fight.
8. Always remain calm. Even in the most difficult situation, strive to find the strength within yourself to lean on the inner core that every person has. Tell yourself that stress is just a stimulus. Not to depression, but to fight irritants.

What are some strange phobias?

There are many of them. More than you can imagine. Here are 10 phobias, the strangest, in our opinion:

1. Fear of new knowledge.
2. Fear of objects located on the right.
3. Fear of receiving or giving gifts.
4. Fear of buttons.
5. Fear of belly buttons.
6. Fear of beards and stubble.
7. Fear of holes.
8. Fear of time.
9. Fear of chewing gum.
10. Fear of fears.

We do not use scientific and technical terms because they are almost impossible to read. However, the presented list already makes it clear how ridiculous and even far-fetched fears can be. The fear of belly buttons alone is worth it. How do you feel about the fear of objects located on the right?

What phobias do celebrities have?

Here are 10 strange phobias of stars:

1. Scarlett Johansson is afraid of germs and insects.
2. Matthew McConaughey is afraid of revolving doors.
3. Tom Hiddleston is afraid of sharks. Even if they are not around.
4. Penelope Cruz once admitted that she is afraid of the red carpet.
5. Orlando Bloom is afraid of... Pigs.
6. Johnny Depp is afraid of clowns.
7. Helen Mirren has a fear of phones.
8. Keanu Reeves is afraid of the dark. Who would have thought?
9. Megan Fox is afraid of paper.
10. Tobey Maguire hates spiders.

Which of the fears presented do you think is the stupidest?

Definitely a fear of belly buttons. I was also amused by my fear of buttons.

66.67%

Fear of holes. How is this in general?

0%

Fear of fears. Being afraid of being afraid of something is a combo!

0%

I laughed (laughed) very hard when I read (read) about the fear of objects located on the right. This is hilarious!

0%

They are all stupid in their own way.

33.33%

Fear of time. I'm afraid of him too.

0%

Voted: 3

What are Agarophobia and Anthropophobia? How are they different from social phobia?

Agarophobia is the so-called fear of open spaces. Often it is due to the lack of nearby houses (shelter) where one could hide or run away if necessary. That is, with agorophobia, discomfort is not associated with society. A person can calmly communicate and interact with people, but only if certain external conditions are met - for example, being indoors.

Anthropophobia is the fear of large crowds of people. Often this is fear and concern for one’s health.

The formation mechanism here is identical to that described above. According to some irrational criteria taken from the past, the subconscious “decides” that such circumstances can be dangerous.

Treatment methods for social phobia

Social phobia is a disorder that can be cured. In simple cases, psychotherapeutic intervention is sufficient, but additional medications are usually prescribed to make the treatment more effective. Various approaches are used, such as hypnosis, group therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

Group therapy demonstrates high efficiency and sustainable results. This approach involves conducting sessions in which patients communicate with each other and perform various exercises under the guidance of a psychotherapist. They do not experience the usual fear of being judged, because they understand that they are among the same anxious people. This allows them to communicate more freely, gradually overcoming their problems.

You can get rid of social phobia on your own only in the simplest cases. It is not recommended to use serious psychotherapeutic techniques. In any case, the safest and most reliable option is to contact a specialist. There is nothing wrong with this; it is a common practice in the West that is penetrating our culture rather slowly.

false mirror

Neurophysiologists also give their explanation of the problem. In the 1990s, a group of Italian researchers published the first paper on a group of neurons in the human brain that are responsible for imitative behavior in animals. These neurons were called mirror neurons. Imitation is more than yawning when watching someone else yawn. It is imitation that underlies empathy, that is, the ability to understand the emotions of others and empathize with them, at the basis of language and speech. Without it, the development of culture and the emergence of civilization would have been impossible. Serious disturbances in the functioning of mirror neurons, found, for example, in autistic people, make people unable not only to empathize, but even to understand how others in principle work.

The brains of people with social anxiety also have their own characteristics. For every case of rejection, to ridicule (no matter whether they are real), the parts of the brain responsible for fear and anxiety immediately react, the nervous system is connected to the process, and social phobes experience real pain - scientists have already proven that our body perceives psychological discomfort this way the same as physical.

It is not surprising that over time, people with social anxiety develop behavioral strategies aimed at avoiding others. In particular, their mirror neuron activity and, consequently, their level of empathy in general decreases. And gradually, social phobes quite sincerely begin to feel that the people around them are really not particularly interesting to them.

It should be noted here that the majority, when meeting acquaintances on the street, do not try to talk with them about new scientific discoveries and pressing social issues. People discuss the weather, gas prices, the boss's character, and other unimportant things. Talking about nonsense is actually much more important than it seems - at these moments, mirror neurons are active, and people, by discussing trifles, thereby tell each other about their empathic connection, about the ability to empathize and share feelings. They don't need to understand it on a conscious level; they feel it that way.

But social phobes don’t feel. They are sincerely confident that conversations in the smoking room about children’s runny noses and choosing birthday gifts are not worth participating in, and only demonstrate the general stupidity of those who are interested in them.

Of course, chatting about various little things can seem boring even to non-social phobics. But only they see in her proof of their own difference from those around them.

Avoidant behavior leads social phobes to a specific lifestyle - they have difficulties with finding a job, with addictions (and especially cyber addictions), which ultimately forms the approach described by the classic - “don’t leave the room, don’t make a mistake.” This is how the Japanese hikikomori movement emerged. More than a million Japanese teenagers and young adults have abandoned school and work to lock themselves in their rooms, cut off all real social contacts and live primarily at the expense of their parents. According to scientists, the prevalence of the phenomenon in the Land of the Rising Sun is due to two factors: the tendency towards hermitism inherent in the Japanese mentality, and traditional upbringing, according to which children at the age of 5 move from a state of complete permissiveness to a very strictly regulated world, while being exposed to enormous stress.

With a kind word and a gun

As a rule, social phobias seek medical help only when social anxiety is accompanied by other neurotic disorders. This happens because they tend to look for the cause of their social isolation in their own shortcomings or excessive timidity. Social phobes who learned (and believed) that their problem is a well-studied disease that can be treated can be called lucky. But willingness to undergo treatment is not enough. Psychotherapy for social anxiety takes a long time and can be quite painful. And since people with social phobia have trained for years to avoid pain, not all of them successfully complete the course of treatment.

Psychotherapy is not the only thing that modern medicine can offer people with social anxiety, and drug treatment for social phobia is quite common practice. As a rule, antidepressants and drugs that relieve symptoms that accompany social anxiety, such as rapid heartbeat, are used.

None of the above, by the way, guarantees the absence of relapses in the future. So, with a high probability, you will have to undergo further treatment regularly for many years. However, not everyone strives for a cure - after all, you can work at home, and in the absence of developed empathy, what joy is there in discussing the weather and repairs with former classmates?