Where to start self-development - how to quickly develop yourself as a person, what you need to develop yourself and work on self-education every day: methods and ways

In this article we will tell you:

The benefits of working on yourself
The first steps of working on yourself
4 areas of a person’s work on himself
24 rules for working on yourself
6 mistakes that prevent you from working on yourself

Working on yourself is where any changes in life begin. To decide on anything, you need to take the first step and overcome everything that you have long been accustomed to. Whether you want to pursue another degree or are unhappy with your career and relationships, a new future can be daunting.

Change brings uncertainty. If you are ready to take risks, you need to work on yourself. But keep in mind that training of personal qualities must be systematic and regular. Imagine working out in a fitness room, this is what working on yourself should be like.

What to pay attention to

The term has a fairly broad concept. Everyone sees in it their own, individual meaning, depending on their worldview and value system. Some believe that this is about improving business and improving financial condition, others about relationships with people, the ability to communicate and be happy, and still others about becoming more beautiful, losing weight, and changing your appearance. We do this every day if we feel changes for the better, even the slightest.

How and where to start properly developing yourself? The starting point is that you firmly decide to go down this path. Soberly assess the current state of affairs. It will be difficult to admit that there is a certain problem, but it is necessary to do this at least in order to come to a solution.

As you move forward, you may notice that your priorities and goals change. For example, it was decided to study English. But as you improve your knowledge, it suddenly turns out that you want to speak French.

And one more caveat: during the process, many people who are unhappy with their lives will hinder your success, discourage you and try to lead you astray. Don't let them behave like that.

Now let's move on to actions that promote self-improvement.

Decide what you are trying to achieve

Everyone loves to dream, but not everyone has a specific, conscious goal. The reality is that if a person does not decide what he wants to achieve, someone else will do it for him. After all, there are people nearby who are trying to impose their own opinions and vision of the world.

Remember that you need to make a decision yourself: in which direction to move, where to start self-knowledge and whether it is worth listening to other people’s advice.

Such persons include everyone around you, but to a greater extent, the influence is exerted by parents, based on experience, and friends who can lead you astray.

But generally speaking, it’s worth listening to the recommendations of your friends. Just remember that you are the only one in control of your life. Which means the choice is yours.

Remember that thoughts materialize. The basis for self-improvement is focus. If you dwell on the negative, the result will be negative. And vice versa: if you concentrate on positive thinking, victory will sooner or later be yours.

Therefore, sit down and think carefully about what your inclinations are. What do you love and do best? And what do you want to achieve? This is what we need to build on in the future.

Identify problems and shortcomings

At this stage, you need to think about what points in your life you want to improve. This could be smoking, frequent drinking, low salary, excess weight, and so on.

Try to honestly compile a list of negative properties, based on your self-awareness, and not just on the observations of others. After all, before you understand where to start working on yourself and how to develop yourself as a person, you should know what problems to pay attention to.

For all items, write down a plan and indicate why it is worth fixing. For example, for those who are losing weight, it is the desire to become more beautiful or increase self-esteem. In the correction column, you can mark going to the gym, jogging outside, or exercising at home.

The human brain rationalizes any thing. Therefore, by outlining the state of affairs and explaining the tasks, we will find a faithful assistant in our endeavors.

Asking ourselves questions

To set an accurate goal, ask yourself:

What would I like to change? Buy an apartment, change jobs, improve your relationship with your boyfriend or get rid of stress.
What do I want to receive? Close friends, career advancement, love, happiness.
What should you give up? Cigarettes, alcohol, fast food, social networks, temper.
Am I doing what I like? Start planning your life, find a hobby, prioritize your tasks.
Do I want to change? Raise self-esteem, become more erudite, overcome laziness or dependence on others.
Am I fulfilled?

How to develop yourself and improve yourself every day: planning

We know where we are now and where we want to go. The next step is to describe in detail the scenario for completing the task. It's not an easy task, but it can be done. After all, the most difficult thing has already been done - life guidelines have been set.

Psychologist Daria Milai

Make an appointment

Take paper and pen and let's get started. Imagine that the desire has been achieved. Look back in time and think: what tools were used to accomplish this? The explanation of the method is simple: when a goal is set in the head, the mind independently looks for an easy way to achieve it.

Being in the imagination of an experience that does not yet exist, you clearly understand that it could not arise from emptiness. Start “remembering” what preceded it, starting from immediate events and going deeper into the past. Write down the resulting chain.

What to do for self-development: start taking action

So, the goal and the path to it are defined. Now take actions that bring you closer to success. At this stage, it turns out that there are other qualities that require changes. For example, by changing the style of clothing, a person will understand that his hairstyle also requires updating.

The process of improvement is not an easy task. Many are conservatives at heart, so any innovation causes confusion. People are accustomed to one way of life, and changes lead to another. The main thing is to focus on the end point and not attach importance to the rest.

Do not stop

Motivation is a short-lived factor. The resulting charge of energy tends to run out. Therefore, it is necessary to look for new things that can force action.

If at a certain moment a person decides to take a break and stops developing due to his own laziness, it will be quite difficult to return to the previous track. So stay moving and continue your personal growth no matter what.

Plan your life

That is, get into the habit of making a to-do list for every day.
This will not make your life boring or devoid of spontaneity. But thanks to this, you can actually move forward and achieve what you want. Less time to think, more action, more discipline - better results. If you just set yourself the goal of writing a book, you can forget about it. It is impossible to write a book in one go; it would hardly even occur to anyone. On the other hand, if you break down a big goal into simple tasks, such as writing every morning immediately after waking up for 30 minutes, you will soon notice that you are getting closer to achieving your plan.

Again, the ability to carry out planned tasks requires a reasonable, conscious approach. If you've never thought seriously about your fitness, but on New Year's Eve you promised to exercise five times a week, it's very unlikely that you'll keep your word. Taking such a step requires enormous self-control and discipline. You need to find the right balance between ambition and a realistic outlook on life

If you're still reading, we're sure you've already set dozens of goals that you're trying to achieve. Let's say you decide to master the Java language in order to learn how to create programs for Android and get a good position or develop a profitable application. But you don't have the slightest idea about Java, but you have a lot of responsibilities, like going to work or feeding the dog.

Currently, the author of the article works from 9 to 5 o’clock, works out in the gym and performs a huge number of responsibilities, since he is alone in a foreign city 1500 km from home. However, he is still able to work on his personal tasks, and this gives him pleasure.

To do this, you need to bring your life in line with your needs. For example, an author usually devotes 30 minutes of his work break to writing articles. You will very soon become a disciplined person if, despite your busy schedule, you try to achieve one more task, instead of dropping everything and heading to the couch (or to social networks).

Directions and benefits of self-development

The process has extremely positive qualities, so rest assured that everything is not being done in vain.

Improving strengths. Personal development helps not only to acquire new skills, but also to strengthen old ones. By focusing on what already exists, a person will begin to do his job not just well, but perfectly.
Self-confidence. When you complete another intermediate task, you will feel a new surge of energy and become more self-confident.
Gaining awareness. The factor will help you look at things objectively and understand which aspects need to be “tightened up.”
Stepping out of your comfort zone. To develop, people need to do things that are unusual for them. Usually the process is associated with a specific level of pain - this way you can feel progress and improve further.
Work on yourself throughout your life. Once you start today, you won't be able to stop. The result obtained will become a starting point for other aspirations.
Self-development opens up new opportunities. You have to learn and implement them.
Improving the quality of existence. Internal changes contribute to the fact that everything around will also change. You will begin to do what you love, relationships with your environment will improve, and reality will take on brighter colors.

How to force yourself to act?

To change something, a person needs to survive a catastrophe, poverty or near death.

Erich Maria Remarque

Once you have decided what to work on, you must put yourself in a state of rejection of reality. Your desire to raise existing standards must overcome your fear, which is guaranteed to make you want to leave things as they are. What is needed for this?

Take a piece of paper and write down a goal in the chosen area. For example: “I want to develop strong relationships.” Now divide the sheet into two columns with the following names:

Old standards. What will happen in five years if I leave everything as it is?
New standards. What will happen in five years if I start working on myself in this area?

Now try to be as honest as possible and write down detailed answers to these questions. In our example of a strong relationship, the old standards would include loneliness, lack of understanding, emotional instability, and so on. For new ones - emotional support, a pleasant pastime, a happy marriage.

So what standards do you want to live by?

Self Improvement Plan

Planning is a guide to staying on course, taking control of your own destiny, and making rational decisions. Scheduling includes several points:

Setting goals. They can be associated with career advancement, acquiring knowledge, starting a family, etc.
Prioritization. There are many tasks, so think about which ones are the most important? Focus your attention on this point.
Setting a deadline. Without deadlines, the desire will remain letters on a piece of paper. Set time frames and make sure they are realistic. For example, if you want to learn to speak English fluently at a beginner level in two weeks, then it is unlikely that you will succeed.
Track progress. The best motivation is to see what has already been achieved. Even if the victory is small, a boost of energy and pleasure from the result are guaranteed. Also draw conclusions from the work done and think about what can be improved.

Why do we want change?

By nature, a person strives for self-improvement. This manifests itself from birth , when the baby tries to develop independently of the will of the parents.

A small child explores the world, his curiosity acts contrary to the prohibitions of adults, but they often limit his activity, guided by safety and their own fears.

Development is genetically embedded in us. That is why, when there is no development, a person tries to replace it with alcohol, taking dangerous substances, and deviant behavior.

We want to achieve some result, leave our mark in this life . It is important for us to be known and remembered.

But unfortunately, only a small percentage of people , who were able to find their way despite criticism, difficulties, overcoming themselves, their laziness and fears.

Reasons why we want change:

dreams that haunt us;
the desire to start life from scratch, as if resetting past mistakes and failures;
become a different person;
achieve excellence in something;
prove to ourselves and others that we can do something;
do not stop in one place, but always move forward.

When a personality develops, it helps her feel happier because she is realizing her inner potential.

What you can do for self-development: skills

Meditation. This is the practice of contemplation, which occurs through concentration of attention on a specific subject. It is a fairly simple and at the same time difficult skill for many individuals. But it is not the action that is of interest, but its result: the person becomes calmer, the degree of awareness increases, and a deep knowledge of oneself and the events taking place around occurs.
Time management. This is about organizing time and increasing productivity. It's easy to waste your day if you don't have a clear plan on how to effectively complete your tasks. The process will help improve punctuality and professionalism.
Clothing style. Good taste in appearance ensures that the first impression when meeting people will be excellent. This is necessary to find a partner for a love relationship, meetings with a future employer or clients.
Optimism. Positive thoughts and a view of reality are a huge source of internal energy. This is where you need to start, but how to educate yourself is a secondary question.
Healthy eating. Eating healthy food will improve your well-being and give you strength. There is no need to go on a strict diet. Just include vegetables and fruits in your diet and try to eat less junk food.
Reading books. Literature is a storehouse of knowledge that you can absorb if you devote enough time to the lesson.
Ignoring toxic people. We are strongly influenced by our environment. Wherever we are, there will always be negative people who generously share their negativity. This makes you give up, so try to limit communication with such acquaintances.

Meditate

Self-control comes from the mind, and the best exercise to strengthen your mind is meditation.
But don't worry, you won't have to sit in the lotus position for hours like the Tibetan monks. One of the benefits of meditation is improving self-control and ability to concentrate. Every day we are faced with a huge number of distractions and temptations that subtly throw us off course. Meditation improves self-awareness and awareness of the current situation, increasing resistance to external interference. If you've never meditated before, here are some great meditation courses you might find helpful: Ten-Day Free Trial Course from Headspace or Calm.com.

Stages

Self-knowledge. A person must have a clear idea of his own life priorities and ideals that force him to move forward.
Setting goals. They can be long-term or short-term, but must be flexible and not contradictory.
Achievement options. Self-improvement is a rather personal process. Articles for self-development will not give precise advice on how to obtain the desired result. You can look for the answer in smart books, rely on fate, or sit down and think carefully about how to get what you want.
Actions. Dreams will remain so if you don’t put effort into them. By taking just one step, you are already closer to what you want.

Make your bed immediately after getting up

This is a very simple and easy habit to implement, but it still makes a big difference.
It’s very simple: as soon as you get up, immediately tidy up your bed. Don't check your phone for messages, don't open your laptop, or go into the kitchen. Just make the bed. The point is to develop the habit of performing this simple procedure every day. By making your bed, you subconsciously convince yourself that the rest period is over and it’s time to start a new day. Tidying your bed is one of the small habits that, over time, will add up and make you a disciplined person. More about healthy morning habits here.

Methods

These universal tips will not solve your problem, but will make it much easier:

Prioritization. Choose the direction that is most important to you and do not waste your energy on secondary goals.
Awareness of the brightness of life. Due to the fast pace of life, a person sees reality in gray tones. But to feel the fullness of the moment and the diversity of the world, you just need to stop and look around.
Concentration of attention. Increasing the level of self-control allows you to “tame” your brain. He will stop wandering from one thought to another, and you will be able to concentrate on a specific subject.
Write it down. Ideas on paper become more tangible. This way you won’t forget about them and won’t lose sight of them.
Environment. Communication with positive, successful people has a huge impact, inspires and gives strength to move on.

13. Conduct job analysis

Do you understand whether you are going in the right direction?

Determine the checkpoints and when passing them you must be aware of the correctness of your actions. This is when you build a computer, but you don’t know if it will work.

Look back at what you have done in a month, what conclusions you have come to, and whether there is any result. And if there is no result, then it is worth noting all unnecessary factors in order to avoid them in the future.

Keep fit

You should exercise regularly, be it weight lifting, running, yoga or tennis.
If the enormous health benefits aren't compelling enough for you to start exercising regularly, we hope you'll reconsider because of the positive effects of exercise on self-control. We've all had those moments when we come up with different excuses and feel the urge to relax and do something unhealthy instead of sticking to our workout schedule. This is a very important moment in which your discipline habits are tested and strengthened. You will definitely succeed if, when you return home after a busy day at work or school, you are still able to get your blood flowing a little and release some happy hormones. It's very simple, if you don't believe me, I hope the words of Will Smith will convince you:

The key elements of life are running and reading. When you run, a little personality appears inside you who talks to you and complains: “Oh, I’m tired. My lungs are about to burst. I'm in so much pain. I can't run any further." You will want to give up everything. If you learn to overcome this personality when you play sports. You will not give up when you face difficulties in life...

In one workout you will not advance even a millimeter, there will be no unicorns and rainbows in the sky. But it is the ability to force yourself to take another step that makes you stop being a weakling
.

Even when you feel like the tiredest person in the world, you need to force yourself to go to the gym. After training, you will have increased self-esteem, you will feel that you are unstoppable, and this is what self-control training is aimed at. To make you immune to your own weaknesses.

To increase efficiency, you should choose the type of exercise that you like best. Work as hard as you can, but work smart.

14.Love yourself

Remember the main thing is that all actions must be performed only for yourself.

Give yourself a reward for completing these tasks. For example, if you write a few more chapters of a future book this month, then treat yourself to a day at the SPA.

Love yourself for who you are. How can you love yourself if you have the opposite attitude towards yourself?

Rule #5

Quit the competition!
A woman has a constant desire to defeat another. It doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman. And by doing this, a woman constantly cultivates misfortune, proving her innocence in it. She doesn't live for herself. But rather, for the sake of the game itself. She is attracted to struggle, play, theatricality, through which she can manifest herself. The all-conquering grace of exceptional power, bestowed on a woman by nature, is aimlessly spent on a primitive, mediocre game, on constant confrontation with society. A woman is not at all a toy in the hands of a man, as is commonly believed. She is a puppet of her own psychology. The theatricality of female behavior is rooted in the dominant stereotype of the style of femininity in the biological sense. This style does not lead a woman to success. If a woman does not give up her theater, continuing to diligently play with emotions, feelings, revenge, rivalry, getting bogged down in the ups and downs of family life, she will inevitably suffer defeat in the 3rd millennium. Nobody can help the woman. The only thing she needs to do is understand herself. A woman's strength lies in her sincerity. We need to kill cognitive dissonance. And start feeling, thinking and acting the same way. Cognitive dissonance leads to self-destruction and the destruction of everything around.

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Intermittent fasting

In the modern world, food is no longer just a source of nutrition and energy.
It has become a form of entertainment. The problem is that when you have fun with food, you can easily lose control of your plate and become a slave to it. There are many diets that could help, but I would like to offer you a long-term solution that I have found most helpful. The idea of intermittent fasting goes against what most fitness industry experts say, who recommend eating every 2.5 to 3 hours.

But don’t panic, this way of eating is not associated with fasting! There are different approaches, but the author’s favorite is 16:8. This includes a 16-hour fasting period during which you only drink low-calorie drinks. You guessed it right, 8 means an eight-hour window when you can eat.

Every time during periodic fasting, the author experiences the following sensations:

attention and mental clarity increase dramatically;
there is less desire to eat and the feeling of hunger in general decreases;
the volume of adipose tissue decreases (if you significantly exceed your daily calorie intake, don’t expect miracles);
a feeling of happiness arises.

There are so many explanations why intermittent fasting is so beneficial for various aspects of our lives. Not only will you become more disciplined with your food (something that the vast majority of Western society struggles with), but you will also experience the enormous health benefits that there is ample information about all over the internet.

Rule #7

Don't eroticize relationships.
Understand and accept your feminine nature. Find ways of female creativity, that special way of thinking that is characteristic only of a woman.

There is no need to match the surrounding scenario. In this world where male superiority prevails, women believe that success can be achieved by manipulating a man, men, even by being dependent on them. This is another woman’s mistake that destroys herself. It is necessary to understand what the true, hidden nature of a woman is. Culture, morality, society are one thing, but the natural feminine essence is completely different. A woman longs to rule, but having received the reins of government in her own hands, she copies a man. She strives for primacy, but having acquired power, she does not know how to use it. A woman wants to be courted, even if she does not intend to enter into a serious relationship. The game itself is important to her, not the result. She is waiting for confirmation of absolute superiority over other women. A woman does not forgive insufficient male attention to her sexual exclusivity. In most cases, a woman seeks possession through sexual relations. It's as if she's trying to take over the whole world through the art of sex.

Reduce the amount of sugar in your diet

Sugar, salt and fat are used in the food industry to increase appetite.
Trading food products is a business like any other, only in this case, in order to maximize profits, food tycoons often neglect the harmful effects on health. You are responsible for what ends up on your plate. Why should you reduce the amount of sugar? Simply because it makes you overeat, which is a clear sign of poor self-control. At first, until your body gets used to sugar, you will constantly have a very strong desire to eat something sweet. Fortunately, this will pass in a few days and you will learn to enjoy simpler, healthier foods.

Making changes to your diet is another way to improve self-control. But it will be much easier for you if you eliminate all the potential obstacles that are discussed in the next paragraph.

Start taking cold showers

Undoubtedly, this method can be called extreme.
Ice water running down your body for a few minutes is the best metaphor for short-term discomfort to achieve long-term goals. If you can wake up in the morning and take a very cold shower when you would rather stay in a warm and cozy bed, then you will eventually be able to overcome other psychological obstacles. Taking a cold shower not only shows your physical endurance. Of course, the sensations cannot be called the most pleasant in the world, but there is no harm. Your biggest enemy is hidden in your head. When your body starts to panic, your mind helps you overcome the two minutes of discomfort. There is no guarantee that ice water will feel warmer after a month. It will remain icy. But the process itself will happen automatically, and the results will become obvious, simply helping you stay in shape.

Important decision

Before you start playing sports or any other activity, you need to start loving yourself. To do this, you need to fully accept the characteristics of character, upbringing and temperament. After which a person can already adapt to his traits. When he understands this, he will have no questions about how to force himself to take care of himself. In this way, the individual will be able to do things for the benefit of his body and mind. An individual who has fallen in love with himself automatically begins to appreciate life and change for the better. Therefore, problems will never arise.

Rule of the right woman No. 1

She must be socially interesting.
Then and only then can she be interesting to herself, develop in this and not be in the role of a victim. Therefore, for everyone who wants to get married in order to “fit in” and fit in, this movie won’t last long. A woman in the role of a victim or in the role of a leech very quickly becomes uninteresting, no matter what forms she has. Since in this case her role becomes that of a mother (caring) or a servant (caring). Then female dissatisfaction is mixed in and with this energy everything begins to collapse. She herself, her family, the man who is nearby and his business or activity. The beauty of a woman is in her energy. The way she transforms this world and others with her presence, her sound. Leeches live in a swamp, which means the energy of such a woman will be stagnant and musty. A woman is a breath of fresh water, from which healing, restoration and strength rise.

12. The price of words

If you give your word, then you need to keep it and fulfill it, like all agreements. It is important to strictly follow your promises. Don't be late for scheduled meetings, they will simply stop trusting you, and this will lead to a breakdown in relationships. Put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor and imagine how you will feel. If you are going to be late, call and let us know.

6. Find yourself a mentor

In my opinion, this is the most important step towards success. Find a mentor, coach, or someone who has already done this and succeeded.

This should not be a friend who is always praising you, or, on the contrary, always whining that everything is bad. And a man who went through all the jungle and survived. He got into a lot of trouble, and now he knows how to survive without getting hurt.

The trainer immediately becomes your Gandalf. Your every step will be under control. All errors will be analyzed and all actions will be aimed only at achieving your result! This man is an inspiration. From him or her you will learn not only professionalism, but also correct thinking, the understanding that we invent all obstacles for ourselves.

And who knows, maybe the student will surpass the teacher)

Self-development and self-improvement: where to start working on yourself