130 modern phrases that can shut a person up without offending

08/12/201608/12/2016 Nadezhda Plotnikova

The problem of annoying interlocutors is extremely common. This could be an annoying fan, just a familiar person, an unloved colleague or a “sworn” friend. Many people try to engage in a verbal duel, responding to unpleasant words with abuse or even swearing. Perhaps this is exactly the reaction the instigator was seeking.

It would be much wiser and more promising to stop playing with words and try to emerge victorious from such a situation. How to beautifully “send” a person away without using abuse or “obscene” constructions? First of all, calm down and follow our recommendations.

How to beautifully insult a person with obscenities

Are you leaving already? Why so slowly?
I'm too busy a person to pay attention to your complexes.
Shock me, finally say something smart.
It looks like you never got over your youthful maximalism.
You should be silent more often, you would pass for smart.
I hope that you are not always so stupid, but just today.

And yet, most likely, you understand that in the case where we insult someone else, it is quite difficult to talk about any level of culture. Often such conversations simply slide into an ugly squabble. How to insult a person to the point of tears Play on his weak points and complexes If the situation is such that you have to insult a woman (note that these are still the most extreme situations), then, of course, you can play on her complexes.

How to competently send to hell

There are different ways to send people “to hell.” You cannot “send” a relative, a boss, or an acquaintance in the same way.

If this is a loved one, think about his feelings. It’s clear that you won’t be able to send your loved one for a long time.

Then think about how you will restore the relationship.

You can hint to a boss who has exceeded his authority that you are not going to tolerate humiliation. If the position is expensive, then you shouldn’t spray curses and swear words, sometimes it’s better to just remain silent. The easiest way is to blow off your friend by gently expressing your disapproval of his interest in you.

Not all people are fluent in words, so many try to respond with rudeness to intrusiveness.

By becoming like your ill-wisher, you become the same as him.

By getting into a rough argument, you can lose not only your nerves, but also respect from the people who matter to you.

God forbid you chill your brain from the inside with a draft. Don't try to verbally offend me - I am above your insults!

Have you decided to besiege me? Did you remember to save before doing this?

Pity humiliates a person, so I won’t feel sorry for you, well, you understand))) Very smart people don’t insult - they act... You’re like a meme - funny at first, and then you infuriate...

For guys, insults without swearing are not an insult, so try harder, I'll wait!

Why don't you start saving nature? I have a surgeon friend who can sterilize you. It’s a shame to the point of tears, but you are not the person with whom I will communicate!

I can shut a person up without insulting him - culturally, simply by not noticing his attacks and forgetting about his existence! If you do this again, you will remember this time for a long time... Why are you so (so) not smart (smart)... Mind like a shell, memory like a goldfish.

Evaluative Phrases

Assess the situation.

It would have been funny, but it wasn't.
Your sense of humor is in its infancy.
Amazing! You brilliantly answered all the questions that were NOT asked to you!
One of the most common diseases is to make a diagnosis.
Fabulous! This is the best nonsense I've ever heard.
Apparently the stork dropped you on the way.
You shouldn't look for deep meaning where it hasn't been hidden.
How many interesting things you say! What a pity that I have little interest in this.
You're the only one who can kill a pack of dogs.
I see you've started to think! I won’t interfere, otherwise this happens less often than solar eclipses.
Everything you said is, of course, good, but reality does not agree with you.
You need to think less and think more!
Thinking is not your thing! But stupidity is your best friend!
You know, you're like a meme - funny at first, then annoying.
There's nothing worse than a fool with a purpose!
Just because you look terrible doesn't mean you have to behave the same way.
What kind of day is this? There are only idiots and stupid people.
You have such an important face now, as if you found oil in our toilet.

Tip 1: How to put your boss in her place

After which it should be noted that the boss’s tone is too harsh, which has no basis.

It is best if this conversation takes place in private. Do not set ultimatums or conditions under any circumstances - management cannot stand this.

Just politely but firmly ask your boss to tone down. Of course, there is a risk that you will be fired after this, but most managers respect employees who openly and honestly express their opinions in the correct manner, without affecting the ego of management. Often managers do not stop at harsh statements alone, and then passive derogatory behavior is used.

This could be offensive jokes, irony, a dismissive or contemptuous tone, etc. This is all a polite attempt to humiliate.

In such cases, it is absolutely impossible to remain indifferent and pretend that nothing is happening.

Match the color of your eyes.

If you fall under the hot hand, you will fly under the hot foot.
One more beep from your platform and your teeth will move.
How many interesting things you say!
What a pity that this doesn't interest me much.

Looking at you, I begin to understand that nothing human is alien to God.
Are you a joker? be careful not to choke on the joke!
So you played Shrek in the movie?
Madhouse on the road, psychos in nature!
You could go to the Kunstkamera during your lifetime!
If imbecility was a fatal disease, you would have been buried as a child.
If it gave me pleasure to communicate with ..., I would have had a dog a long time ago.
Teeth are not hair; if they fly out, you won’t catch them.
If you fall under the hot hand, you will fly under the hot foot
What makes you think that I scare you? Am I a mirror, or what?

The best phrases to respond to rudeness and rudeness

Listen, you are ten years scarier than me!
From the point of view of banal erudition, every local individual strives to mystify abstraction, but we must not neglect the tendencies of paradoxical illusions, as well as motivate the criteria of abstract subjectivism. Since your potential level is zero and tends to minus-infinity, I consider further conversation unprofitable.
Are your parents not physicists? Otherwise you look like a failed science experiment.
No tits, no pussy... and an ass as big as a fist!
In the book "Who's Who" you should be found in the chapter "What is This"?
You should go to the zoo, you won't stand out much there.
It is better to remain intelligently silent than to speak stupidly, as you do.
I have one drawback: I don’t know how to communicate with fools.
Change your walk, baby! The panties were chewed.
Let your children bark at the light bulb!
Well, me too, virgin as big as a plate!
You are living proof that a person can live without a brain!
Any similarity between you and a person is purely coincidental!

Answers against jokers

When someone decides to make fun of you.

How to Learn Sarcasm Using Sassy Funny Words

Having learned to use impudent and funny expressions appropriately, you will certainly be able to gain fame in your close circle as a person with a good sense of humor and mastery of the technique of sarcasm. But it is important not to forget that insolence can be fraught with consequences, and with such phrases you can provoke your interlocutor to an unpredictable reaction.

Go, lie down, rest. Well, at least on the rails.
I could have offended you, of course, but nature has already dealt with it for me.
Nobody scares you, you will be afraid in the mirror.
Your mouth could use a stapler.
Well, you jingled the chain, now go to the booth.

Understanding the art of sarcasm

And yet, it is important to note that people who know how to express themselves in a sarcastic manner do not always use this skill when trying to insult or humiliate someone. Often, sarcasm is used when some non-trivial situation is being commented on - then it looks funny and organic.

It is almost impossible to comprehend the art of sarcasm for a person whose vocabulary is not particularly diverse and whose horizons are rather limited. That is why it is worth reading and learning more. Type into the search: “Authors who write with humor.” As you yourself understand, truly “sharp” phrases are in any case made up of words, the variety of which you can easily glean from intellectual films and books. By the way, examples of some witty phrases can also be seen in books. As a last resort, learn sarcasm from people who make a living from their jokes - we are talking about participants and hosts of various comedy television shows.

If you want to be known as a truly witty person, then do not repeat the mistake that is common to many novice jokers or people who imagine themselves to be such. Having heard or read some interesting joke or funny expression, they periodically repeat it in order to make their interlocutor laugh. The first couple of times it can be really funny, but then people start smiling just out of politeness, and that’s for the time being. As you understand, it is simply unacceptable for anyone to associate a master of sarcasm with a broken record.

Without swearing in smart words

You can humiliate a person culturally, using clever words, with the following phrases:

“Nature rewarded you with an extraordinary mind, so she compensated for your poor appearance.”
“Just because you can talk doesn’t make you human.”
“It’s fun with you, like in the circus. To see such a miracle of nature as you, you don’t mind paying for a ticket.”
“Once upon a time, God swore not to create idiots anymore, but looking at you, I understand that He was never able to stop.”
“You inspire scientists to achieve great feats - looking at you, they want to make a man out of a monkey.”
“I see you bought a very large car to compensate for your very low IQ.”
“Your wallet is full of bills - you probably get paid every time you say something stupid.”
“A sharp tongue does not mean a sharp mind.”
“I would give you some smart and useful advice, but I’m afraid your processor will overheat from the stress.”
“You couldn’t put your fingers in your ears when you’re thinking about it, otherwise the dull whistling in your head is a little annoying.”
“The fact that no one understands you does not mean that you are an artist.”
“Please be quiet, don’t rattle your empty head so much.”

On a note!

To insult another beautifully is to say an offensive phrase to him so that its meaning reaches the opponent only after a while.

When is it necessary to insult someone?

There can be many such situations, and we will consider some of them in more detail.

Self-defense

When someone allows themselves to speak offensively towards us, we often “boil” in response. Who manages to restrain emotions in such a situation and ignore the attacks of an aggressive interlocutor. Of course, if a person has managed to achieve the highest degree of self-control or simply cannot decide to respond to an offensive remark, then he is able to ignore negative words addressed to him. And yet, more often than not, it is not easy to restrain yourself. You can read how to act correctly in such cases in our article on how to respond to insults.

Protecting the Weak

There are situations when we are unable to ignore the fact that someone allows himself to be offensive towards another person. This is especially unbearable to watch when your spouse, your child, a shy girl, or even an unfamiliar pensioner comes under fire from offensive words. In general, aggression awakens in many of us when a weaker person suffers and finds it difficult to stand up for himself. Of course, in this case, the injured party needs protection, and will undoubtedly feel a deep sense of gratitude when receiving it.

Animal protection

This point is somewhat similar to the previous one, but the difference is that this time we are not talking about a weak person, but about an animal. Some of us, seeing, for example, how teenagers torture a cat or a drunken person kicks a dog, try to pretend that they simply do not notice what is happening, but the majority still cannot look indifferently at the suffering of “lesser brothers.” Of course, in this case, insults on your part will be more than justified.

How to call someone to shut up

How to send someone away without being rude. Do you want to send someone somewhere culturally on the Internet? Send a person away nicely: examples of phrases that will politely hint to your opponent that they do not want to communicate with him. How to send a guy or a girl in an original way? Experts suggest using psychological sambo - a kind of counterattack that uses the strength (psychic energy) of the enemy.

There are people who do not understand polite words. You have to humiliate them gracefully, without stooping to obscene expressions. All that remains is to confidently send such a person.

Below the belt

Article on the topic Taboo on revelations: what a woman should absolutely not say to a man
The most humiliating statements for men that can be made are statements regarding sexual relations and the penis. If, in a fit of anger, a woman shouts to a man that he is small, or that she has never had an orgasm with him, then she automatically knocks out her partner.

According to Kuznetsova, such reproaches are the most humiliating and most painful for the stronger sex, because they relate to physiology, and there is no way to change anything.

“If we start from Freud’s phrase that a man’s life revolves around his penis, then it is clear why all the negative phrases about manhood are perceived so sharply by the stronger sex. In general, a man considers himself a man if he is capable. And it’s not just that they measure their members and brag to each other about how many women they have had. A penis is a man’s source of pride, and unflattering statements addressed to him can throw a man out of psychological balance for a long time,” states an interpersonal relations consultant.

Related article12 unexpected things that men like in women

Elena Kuznetsova emphasizes that it is difficult for all men to hear nasty things about sexual relations, but some representatives of the stronger sex can withstand insults with dignity, and for some such humiliations can break and even lead to psychological impotence.

If a man is inexperienced and unsure of himself, then all curses addressed to the “lower chakra” are like death for him. A strong man, who also knows that he can give a woman fantastic pleasure not only with the help of his penis, but also in alternative ways, will not be unsettled by curses about the reproductive organ. But hearing them from your partner is still unpleasant and humiliating.

Article on the topic: The power of sexuality. What kind of women drive men crazy?