Low, medium, high: find out your sociability level

What is sociability?

In psychology, sociability is understood as a person’s ability to establish contacts and conduct constructive dialogue with representatives of any social strata. This is an innate personality characteristic, depending on temperament and the type of nervous system. For example, choleric and sanguine people are sociable by nature, while melancholic and phlegmatic people have to make an effort to speak to a stranger.

This is the difference between sociability and sociability: sociability is an acquired skill that can and should be developed. Even an unsociable person can develop communication skills, easily establish personal and work contacts, have productive conversations and be considered a good speaker.

Advantages and disadvantages of a sociable person

Powerful charisma and an open smile will charm anyone. Therefore, it is much easier for a sociable person to move through life:

• He aces interviews and gets the best jobs;
• He quickly grows up the career ladder and often by the age of 30 becomes a manager or owner of a business;
• It is easier for a sociable person to build relationships with the opposite sex. He is able to make you fall in love with him from the first meeting, so his family life is always in order;
• A sociable person has many friends and acquaintances. Not only does he never suffer alone, but he is almost always able to find support in any life and everyday tasks;
• He is not stressed. To suffer quietly and slide down the wall on his claws from resentment is not his path.
• A sociable person quickly overcomes crises in relationships and at work.

Shy and suspicious people think that he is simply the embodiment of intelligence, sociability and charisma, an ideal personality. But a sociable person can also have shortcomings. They largely depend on the severity of his character traits:

• The ability to feel and empathize often makes sociable people perceive other people’s problems as their own and experience shock “out of the blue”;
• Curiosity and learning ability sometimes lead to the fact that a person is not able to develop in one narrow niche - he changes professions, has many hobbies and is always short of time;
• Excessive self-confidence can also trip you up. For example, lead to a lower grade on an exam.

When learning to communicate, people often use broad gestures and theatrical facial expressions. And at this stage they can have the opposite effect - scaring people away. Keep this in mind if you intend to improve your communication skills.

Levels of sociability

In psychology, there are several levels or types of sociability. Let's take a closer look at them.

Experts attribute the peculiarities of sociability to the fact that it should develop together with other character traits: empathy, tact, attentiveness, and the ability to listen. If a person is sociable but not friendly, most likely, others will perceive him as an aggressor or a bore, an unpleasant person.

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What is communication skills

Wikipedia defines the term as “sociability, ability to form connections, compatibility with other people.”

The Internet encyclopedia also notes that this skill develops throughout life, and parents and teachers play a major role in its formation.

They should teach the child:

• Impartiality and the ability to calmly perceive someone else’s position;
• Flexibility of thinking;
• Empathy – understanding the state and mood of other people;
• Tactfulness in expressing views and thoughts.

Obviously, communication skills are not only the ability to start a conversation, but also the ability to maintain it, form a positive opinion about yourself and establish strong connections with people.

Development of sociability

The formation of sociability is influenced not only by the type of temperament, but also by the model of interaction adopted in the family. For example, authoritarian, tough parents can “suppress” the sociability and love of life of a sanguine person and, conversely, attentive parents inclined to cooperate with the child will help a sensitive melancholic person come out of his “shell.”

You can improve your sociability at any age. If you don't like to communicate, but understand that you need it for social success, work on the so-called “professional sociability” or sociability.

Follow these guidelines:

1. Read more books and watch educational videos. Then you will be able to carry on conversations on a wide range of topics.
2. Make contacts first. Communicate with sellers and taxi drivers, but do not be intrusive. If you feel that your interlocutor does not want to talk, leave him alone.
3. Interact with people of different ages, social status, gender. This way you will learn empathy, understanding, and strengthen your communication skills.
4. Learn to give compliments and actively listen. You can read more about the features of proper business and personal communication in the “Coaching” section.

It is better to work on sociability simultaneously with other character traits: for example, tolerance, attentiveness, friendliness. Then you will truly become a pleasant conversationalist to whom people are drawn.

Sociability

In psychology, sociability (communication skills) is the ability to establish contacts, the ability to have mutually enriching and constructive communication with other people. It is one of the most important skills that allows you to successfully establish social connections, which affect both professional and personal relationships.

What professions value sociability?

There are probably few professions in which sociability is not a valuable skill. But in some of them, it will be more important, for example:

• public relations manager;
• HR manager;
• Sales Manager;
• organizer of holidays and events;
• guide;
• journalist;
• teacher, lecturer;
• family therapist.

But again, in every profession, sociability can be a valuable asset.

How to develop sociability?

Despite the fact that sociability is a rather ephemeral matter, you can determine your level using a special psychological test. The most famous is the Ryakhovsky test (you can take it here or here).

Whether communication skills are important in your chosen profession or you simply want to become more sociable, there is nothing better than practice for developing this skill. At the same time, you need to understand your level of sociability; If you've taken the test, you already know it.

Let's roughly divide sociability into three levels: low, average and above average. At each level, the skill can be developed with practice.

Low level

At this level there are those who are so shy that they communicate only with relatives and closest friends and are very afraid to approach other people.

It is difficult to give any definite advice here. If the reasons are not a traumatic experience or low self-esteem, telephone calls may be an option to break down the existing barrier. Call companies, sellers from classifieds sites, etc. The goal is to gain confidence and experience, which can then be applied in personal communication with a high chance of success.

Average level

At this level, you are moderately sociable, but experience a little shyness when interacting with unfamiliar people.

Give yourself the following tasks:

• In a public place, smile back at the first three people who look at you.
• Ask three people how to get somewhere. Don't limit yourself to this - try to hold the dialogue for 1-2 minutes.
• Introduce yourself to a stranger in your yard.
• If you are a man, ask some girl in the supermarket which of two bouquets of flowers is better.

Above average level

You do not feel particularly shy when communicating with others, but it is difficult for you to win them over and it is difficult to achieve ease in dialogue.

• Come up with starters - these are questions or phrases with which you can start a conversation. However, they should be broad enough to support a dialogue for several minutes.
• Before talking to a person, think about something funny or amusing, smile - and maintain this expression and state during the dialogue.
• Give people sincere compliments. This will immediately put them at ease and also make the conversation easier because others love to talk about what they like about themselves or what they are praised for.

The enemies of sociability

Now let's talk about the enemies of sociability and how you can fight them. By combining the exercises above and following the tips below, you will improve your results.

It was already mentioned above that sociability has essentially two enemies: self-doubt and shyness. To cope with them, let’s turn to the advice of American social psychologist Philip Zimbardo, author of the book “How to Overcome Shyness.” In addition to solving the problem indicated in the title, it is designed to help eliminate self-doubt.

Zimbardo believes that shyness, despite some of its advantages, generally cripples a person no less than a disease of the body. The consequences may be:

• reluctance or fear of meeting other people;
• inability to enjoy communication;
• inability to defend one’s rights and express one’s opinion;
• the emergence of feelings of loneliness and anxiety.

To overcome shyness, the author suggests the following.

Step One: Clarity

First of all, you must clearly understand what you want to achieve. Do you want to get rid of shyness, develop self-confidence and love communicating with other people? Write it down on a piece of paper. This is important because in moments of despair he will be in front of your eyes.

Ask yourself:

• What is my ultimate goal?
• What would I like to achieve in society?
• What will be my initial goal?
• What is the chain of goals that will lead me to the final one?

Once you have clarity, let's identify social barriers and how they affect your behavior and thinking:

• What exactly is holding me back from achieving my ultimate goal?
• How do I begin to think when a social situation arises in which I feel shy?
• What exactly am I telling myself at this moment?
• What's happening to my beliefs?
• How does my body change physiologically when I feel shy?
• What do I think about myself in this situation?

Answering these questions will give you a deep understanding of your behavior in situations that cause difficulties.

Step Two: Challenge Your Assumptions

Now remember your answers from step one: you will need to challenge your assumptions.

The fact is that your thinking during a situation that causes shyness changes dramatically and subconsciously you consider this behavior to be the best. Therefore, it is important to challenge him:

• How realistic is my view of the world during a stressful social situation?
• Am I ignoring obvious facts?
• How else can I look at this situation?

Such stressful situations can also be called phobias. So, at these moments, your perception is distorted and misses only the information that you initially (consciously or unconsciously) programmed yourself for.

Remember that this is just a state that you create in yourself. By changing your thinking, beliefs and physiology, great progress can be made.

Step three: small steps

Don’t immediately run out to the central square of the city with a loudspeaker, start with small steps, with the help of which your self-confidence will grow every day.

You must plan social interactions (spontaneity is not necessary yet). This could be a fleeting acquaintance, a conversation with the cashier, a wish for a pleasant day and other little things. You can also use the exercise tips that we gave above when we talked about developing sociability. It is important that you do things that you were previously afraid of, and this should apply to communicating with others. Ask yourself:

• What exactly will I be doing in society today?
• How exactly will I do this?
• Where exactly will I do this?
• Who will be there?
• How long it will be going on?

These questions will allow you to be very specific about the small steps needed to achieve your end goal.

Step Four: Learn from Your Experience

Not everything will work out the first time. But instead of giving up after the first failure, sit down and write down the answers to the following questions:

• How did everything go?
• Did I do what I intended?
• What worked?
• What didn't work?
• What unexpected problems did I encounter?
• How did I deal with these problems?
• Is there a better way?
• What can I do better tomorrow?

Observations are important. To begin with, observe yourself during shyness - how you stand, breathe, where you look. And then watch how confident people behave. Notice the difference? Ask yourself:

• How does a confident person move?
• How is he worth?
• How does he sit?
• What about facial expressions and gestures?
• How does he breathe?

Fake it until you make it. Famous motivator Tony Robbins believes that the most important thing is breathing. If you breathe like a confident person, you will trigger a chemical reaction in your body that will create confidence.

We wish you good luck!

Did you like the article? Join our communities on social networks or our Telegram channel and don’t miss the release of new useful materials: TelegramVKontakteFacebook

We also recommend reading:

• Storytelling
• Conversation Techniques
• Vitality Quotient VQ: What is it and why is it important?
• Method of intellectual lability
• Wechsler test
• 7 levels of communication according to A. B. Dobrovich
• Amthauer Structure of Intelligence Test
• Signs of Low Emotional Intelligence
• Relationships with People: A Guide
• Shyness: causes, consequences and elimination
• Assertiveness: rules of assertive behavior

Keywords:_C1029, _D1009, _D1010, _D1052, 1Communications, 3Communications

What are the benefits of having outgoing traits in the workplace?

Communication traits consist of a set of personal skills and personality characteristics that help people get along with others. Sociability is one of the five characteristics of an effective leader.

Having outgoing traits means that you are friendly, outgoing, polite, tactful and diplomatic.

You seek pleasure and satisfaction from your relationships in society. Sociability traits are important to your overall well-being and can enhance your professional work experience.

Communication traits can increase your chances of success in the workplace, such as getting promoted to a management position. Leaders in the workplace must be able to communicate effectively, diplomatically and tactfully. If you want to advance in your career, you need to be enthusiastic and get along well with others. People who lack communication skills may be perceived as uninterested in working as a team member, which can negatively impact your leadership abilities.

Who is a leader?

While we can agree that most of the above traits are essential to being a good leader, we can also argue that sociability is not essentially required to be a great leader.
With that said, it is not necessary for a leader to have outgoing traits to be effective. What I want to emphasize is that there are many leadership qualities that, while important for specific leadership situations, do not always clearly define the effectiveness of a good leader. Take, for example, the military, where there is virtually no social contact between different levels of leadership or ranking levels.

There is a fraternization policy that reduces social contact between parties, it is discouraged and in some cases against the law in order to maintain social relationships with subordinates. This is because military leaders must be able to lead others by providing purpose, direction and motivation, and must be able to ask people to do things that the vast majority of people would never be asked to do. Ordering someone to risk their life would be much more difficult if there were social relationships between the parties. There is no need for the leadership trait of sociability or social skills within this particular well-defined leader-follower relationship.

In most professional work situations, the leader is the person who is ultimately responsible, the direct representative of the organization. He provides leadership while ensuring standards are met. His job is to influence and build trust. Sometimes he is required to resolve conflicts. This person must lead by example and do so with confidence even under adverse conditions. He is responsible for his competence and has communication skills appropriate for the level he leads. Again, it can be argued that communication skills are not essential to performing these tasks as a leader.

Types of communication skills

Psychologists divide people into extroverts and introverts. It is easier for the former to become sociable, since self-confidence, a thirst for communication and charisma are inherent in them by nature.

Other skills can be developed with a skillful approach. Introverts have a more difficult time - they are much more interested in being alone than in a noisy company.

However, man is a social being, forced to interact with others. And because of how we do this, there are 4 types of communication:

• Introverted;
• Rigid;
• Dominant;
• Mobile.

Sociable people belong to the 4th type and must be able to adapt to the previous three.

Introverted type

“Introverted” people are often shy, suspicious and are the first to make contact only in cases of urgent need. When communicating with introverts, you absolutely cannot:

• Use rude language;
• Make offensive statements;
• Talk about intimate topics;
• Praise loudly and give insincere compliments;
• Interrupt and criticize.

You will have to take the initiative in communication into your own hands - they will easily cede it to you. Introverts will consider a pleasant conversationalist to be someone who expresses sincere interest in them and reinforces it with non-verbal gestures - eye contact, nodding, an open position.

Rigid

People of this type also give the initiative into the wrong hands when communicating. Moreover, they are wary of a new interlocutor. Therefore, you cannot with them:

• “Rush right off the bat.” If you immediately begin discussing an issue that is important to you, he will diligently avoid answering: “I’ll think about it,” “Perhaps,” “I need to consult” - you won’t achieve anything else;
• Start from afar. In this case, you may not get to the point at all.

A rigid interlocutor should be slightly “warmed up” - start with an introduction, hints, and then move on to discussing the matter.

Dominant

This style of communication is characteristic of leaders and brawlers. They speak loudly, assertively, not paying attention to the attempts of others to get a word in. The initiative is always in their hands. The only way to build effective communication with them is to let them talk, pause, and then quickly, clearly and clearly express their thoughts. In this case, the dominant speaker will have to listen to you.

Mobile

This type of communication is characteristic of sociable people. They easily take the initiative, let others speak, and adapt to the interlocutor.

How can being sociable reduce stress at work?

Work can be stressful and frustrating at times for everyone. Stress can cause physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomach pain, or mental symptoms, such as depression or irritability. But people who have a strong support system at work may experience less stress, perhaps because they feel like they are part of a team working toward a common goal. You'll be more likely to build a support network if you have outgoing traits.

Research has shown that increased peer support in the workplace is positively correlated with improved health, less burnout and less pain.

Does communication improve the workplace environment?

Being sociable means that you have a friendly, open and considerate attitude towards your colleagues. You show warmth and interest in other people, which can make them more receptive to you. Most people don't like being around negative, angry, or inconsiderate people. You may enjoy going to work more if you know your co-workers are happy to see you. Communication between colleagues creates a more enjoyable work environment in which people are more likely to put extra effort into tasks and demonstrate more creativity.

Is sociability an important personality trait or not?

Is sociability really an important trait in a person’s character for his success, be it in a professional career or position in society?

A study has been conducted to examine this issue. Using an extensive systematic scientific approach, it was revealed that in order for a person to be perceived by others as a successful individual or leader, he must have such traits as intelligence, self-confidence, determination, integrity and communication skills . Personally, I am not attracted to leadership, but in life I have realized that I am an informal leader to the extent of my personal qualities. So the answer is yes. This is an important personality trait of any person. If you want to become successful, without it the path to success is closed. Let's consider several areas of activity in a person's life where communication skills are important or not.

How does sociability affect friendship?

Most people spend most of their waking hours at work.
Sometimes you may not have enough time to make friends outside of the workplace. Having outgoing traits can increase the likelihood of developing friendships in the workplace, and can also help you make lifelong friends with whom you enjoy spending time outside of work hours. Creating meaningful office friendships can help improve job satisfaction. In fact, research has found that having a close friend at work has been positively correlated with employee loyalty and higher levels of job performance. We examined the concept of sociability from several perspectives. What do you want to achieve in life and why do you need to be sociable ideally? Answer this question for yourself. The choice is always yours!