Midlife crisis in men and women, age-related crises in children

Hello, dear readers! Today we will talk about middle age and its inherent crisis. Since you found this material, you probably began to suspect or experience some kind of personality changes. Do you think they are age related? Maybe. To find out, read on.

The period of middle age (adulthood) is interpreted differently in relation to its age stages. So, for example, D. Wexler called average adulthood the period from 20 to 35 years, D. Bromley - from 25 to 40 years, D. Birren - from 25 to 50 years. And according to the international classification, middle age is the life period from 36 to 60 years.

Generally speaking, and from the position of a social approach, rather than a psychophysiological one, another interpretation of the boundaries of middle age is found in the scientific literature. It is more generalized and individual for each person: from the moment of receiving professional education until retirement.

Thus, middle age is the middle of adulthood. There are early adulthood (18-22 - 30 years), middle (30 - 40-45 years) and late adulthood (40-45 - 55-60 years). We can say that this is a kind of transitional moment from youth to old age. On the one hand, a person still feels like a youth, but on the other hand, he understands that his time is running out. Old age is approaching, new personnel are coming to work, and the body’s strength is no longer the same. But is this really so?

General information

Many people at a certain period experience a so-called midlife crisis, usually associated with a revaluation of life experience.
A similar psychological state can be observed both at 30 and at 60 years of age. This is a kind of transitional period when a person seems to have already missed many opportunities, and at the same time old age is very close. Developmental psychology is such that the onset of such a period is observed at different ages in different people. And for some, such experiences are completely uncharacteristic. Each person experiences moments of crisis in their own way. Some ignore their responsibilities and indulge in entertainment, others fall into a depressed state.

Despite the fact that previously this term was applied only to men, now psychologists are also talking about a midlife crisis in women.

Currently, this concept defines psychological, physical, and social problems that are observed in representatives of both sexes. More often, such manifestations are observed among residents of large cities, as well as among those whose professions are related to creativity.

What age-related crises are typical for people during life, how this condition can be diagnosed, and also what to do if the person himself or his loved ones encounter such manifestations will be discussed in this article.

When does a person start to age? 2 theories

In general, there is a fairly significant opinion that aging begins right from the moment of birth (or even from the moment of conception), since aging itself, in essence, is the accumulation of damage in the body that occurs in the process of life. Some of this damage is genetic, another part is formed during cell division, and the third is due to lifestyle and habits. Looking ahead, I will say: one of the most important circumstances that accelerates aging is significant excess weight (obesity). The vast majority of centenarians, as well as people who look much younger than their age, are slender. They also abstain from sugar (or allow themselves just a little bit). However, this is a topic for a separate article.
The second theory of aging is that we begin to grow old at the age of 25, but until 45 we still remain under some protection, but starting from 50-55, adverse changes already begin at the genome (DNA) level, which significantly weaken the body’s ability to resist disease and alleviate the occurrence of age-related diseases.

Pathogenesis

Age-related crises in psychology are defined as periods of transition from one age stage to another. A number of such crises occur in a person’s life. Certain age-related crises in women and men are accompanied by the fact that the previous system of relations with the outside world collapses and a new one is built. Consequently, age-related crises in men and women are a difficult period for both a person and his loved ones.

There are different theories regarding the pathogenesis of the midlife crisis. One of them indicates that in middle age a person develops developmental tasks, which can be solved by certain skills and abilities. If the crisis ends well, peace of mind and certain new experiences emerge. The main task is to make a choice between stagnation and generativity (the spread of interests beyond the limits of one’s well-being). If the second option is realized, the person identifies himself with other people and his descendants. Consequently, the problem of the meaning of life is at least partially solved. When choosing stagnation, a person resigns himself to the usual way of existence. As a result, this can lead to depression and disappointment in the future.

The concept of “old age” at the international level

Moreover, according to the UN systematization, if in a certain country the number of citizens over 65 years of age exceeds 7% of the total population, then the population of this country is considered “old”.

Based on the above figures for the globe, we can conclude that the number of old people on our planet by 2025 will be about 14%. This is also why we can safely say that the problem, as they say, is in our heads. For some reason, it is still fixed in the “collective unconscious” of many Russians and citizens of the countries of the former USSR: a woman over 35 years old is already an old woman. And “if you lived” to 50, then in the next world you were searched with flashlights. And the entire existing patriarchal system, unfortunately, supports this idea of female age.

Classification

Speaking about crisis periods in a person’s life, scientists, first of all, highlight the crises of childhood. They are determined by the characteristics of mental development during periods of age-related crises in children. Different experts classify them differently. But in general, the table of childhood crises looks like this:

Child's 1st year crisis . During this period, the infant period of development ends. A 1-year crisis can last up to six months. Developmental psychology during this period is such that the child gradually becomes more independent - he learns to walk and talk.
Three year old crisis . At this time, the child begins to see his own “I” more clearly. At the age of 3, a child’s desire for independence is typical. During this period, the child may be stubborn, protest, and jealous.
Crisis of 7 years in a child . The crises of children of primary school age are associated with the formation of his social role. A 7-year-old child gradually begins to realize his role in social relations. Accordingly, when a child’s 7-year-old crisis manifests itself, his age-related psychology is such that values are gradually overestimated. Children's spontaneity is lost, the child can be capricious, sometimes he withdraws into himself. Children of primary school age often seem uncontrollable. During this period, they develop their own inner life.
Adolescence crisis . Develops at approximately 11-13 years of age. The crisis of adolescence in psychology is defined as a period of protest against upbringing and lifestyle in general. The teenager experiences manifestations of internal conflict due to the fact that adults do not accept the teenager’s claims to adulthood. The crisis of adolescence can be manifested by appropriate behavior, conflicts with adults, etc.
Middle age crisis . Both the midlife crisis in men and women manifests itself in different people at different periods of life. Speaking about when the midlife crisis begins in men and how long this period lasts, it should be noted that these indicators depend on character, lifestyle and other factors.

Some researchers classify crisis periods of adulthood more broadly. Thus, US expert Gail Sheehy defines the following periods in adult life:

20-22 years (for some, this period begins at 18 years old) - a person moves to early adulthood and “breaks away” from his parents. Gradually, men and women develop individuality and realize their life plans.
30 years - during this period a person moves to middle adulthood. At this time, the highest performance is noted, but the person is worried about the discrepancy between what he wants and what is available.
40 years - during this period, the midlife crisis in women and men is associated with a change in attitude towards what previously seemed very important. A person realizes the loss of youth and worries about it.

At the same time, G. Sheehy speaks about the specificity of life crises in women, since their lives are more connected with their family.

Age is just a number

Many famous women (most often, of course, actresses) demonstrate by personal example that age is just numbers in a passport and that it does not in any way affect how a lady can look. Why do they look young? It's not just about plastic surgery and the lack of hard physical labor for wear and tear.

Look what Gina Lollobrigida looks like at 92 years old!

Russian viewers remember her as a young beauty from the films “Fanfan Tulip”, “Notre Dame de Paris” and many others, and, of course, time is merciless, but just look how much life is in her eyes! 92 you say? - Never mind!

Causes

The development of a midlife crisis may be due to a number of reasons.

Physiological reasons . During the period when a person shows signs of crisis, the first manifestations of physiological aging are noted. This natural process is accompanied by external changes, the development and exacerbation of chronic diseases, and weakening of vital functions. This leads to uncertainty about the future, nervousness, and depression. A person gradually realizes that those things that he could easily do in his youth are now not given to him without difficulty. At this time, bad habits often appear and become stable: alcohol abuse, smoking. At the same time, the person realizes that he would like to get rid of these habits, and the fight against them leads to a depressive state.
Psychological reasons . In middle age, a person experiences a certain transition between youth and old age. This leads to a reassessment of values and the meaning of life. When you feel that life goals were set incorrectly, dissatisfaction appears. At the same time, physiological characteristics and the realization that at this age not everything can be done do not allow you to change your life. As a result, constant worries about this appear, a depressive state develops,
Social reasons . Social relationships significantly influence a person’s internal state. Family relationships are very important in this context. Those who have them harmoniously are less susceptible to crisis manifestations. But if there are constant problems in the family or loneliness, and friendly and professional relationships do not work out, this can cause depression.

The following factors can influence the development of a crisis state:

Tendency to depression , hypochondria , anxiety , immaturity of personality.
Poor physical health, chronic diseases.
Family problems.
Difficulties in social communication, problems with finances.
Professional burnout.

Symptoms of a midlife crisis

According to research, symptoms of a midlife crisis do not always appear in men and women. Moreover, it is precisely the belief that at about 40 years of age a certain crisis should be observed that leads to the fact that a person experiences some of the symptoms of this condition.

In general, the crisis state in women and men is manifested by the following signs:

There is a strong desire to improve your appearance and physical fitness.
A person strives to play sports and practices extreme sports.
Symptoms of a midlife crisis in women often manifest themselves as sudden changes in appearance - a woman can change her hairstyle or hair color. Women often undergo cosmetic procedures for the purpose of rejuvenation. Both women and men often buy a lot of new fashionable clothes during this period.
In both men and women, the symptoms of this condition are associated with the desire to eat right, follow a diet, and take dietary supplements.
There is a feeling of dissatisfaction when thinking about your own achievements.
From time to time, a man or woman compares himself with other people who have achieved more.
Previously favorite activities seem boring, and your job and career may not satisfy you.
Irritability and sudden attacks of anger often appear.
Problems with sleep appear - insomnia or, conversely, constant drowsiness and fatigue.
Memory problems and deterioration of cognitive abilities are noted.
The person becomes more emotional and stressed.
An unexpected interest appears in painting, poetry, or styles of music that were not previously of interest.
A person begins to be interested in religion and philosophy.
Thoughts about old age and death often come, and episodes from childhood are also often recalled.

The following manifestations are typical for a midlife crisis:

irritability;
anxiety;
uneven mood;
feeling of loneliness;
pessimism;
conflict;
prostration;
constant thoughts about your life;
a feeling of futility, sometimes hopelessness.

Treatment and recommendations for overcoming the crisis

How to get out of a midlife crisis, help get through a difficult period and how to save a family are the main questions that people ask at the age of 40-45.

The best way to avoid problems is prevention

It is always better to prevent a disease rather than treat it. For a crisis, although it is not a disease, this statement is also true. To reduce severe manifestations, you need to prepare yourself in advance to understand that the age crisis is the norm and the natural development of any personality.

You should also not try to completely distance yourself from the negativity in life. You need to try to live and survive any situation, good or bad, only then can you take some experience out of it for the future.

It is also worth objectively and impartially assessing what values are important to you in the future (we are, of course, talking primarily about intangible values), and what should be gotten rid of in time, as unnecessary ballast.

The main way is to constantly set a new goal for yourself! Life without a goal loses all meaning. It doesn’t have to be something global, just a small but constant novelty is enough.

How to cope - tips for men

First of all, it is important to understand: nothing unique happened to you, you should not think that “everything is different for me, and there is no way out.” No matter what time the crisis begins, remember - you are not alone in your problems. At the same time, you should not constantly look around at those around you; comparisons will lead to nothing - moreover, during a period of mental stress, it will seem that all of them are not in your favor.

In order to survive a midlife crisis, focus on what brings you the least discomfort during this period. There is no need to go to extremes. For example, if your loved ones annoy you, you should not try to leave your family right away - according to statistics, most men, after a crisis period, regret their thoughtless, impulsive actions.

There is always the opportunity to relax, leave, change the environment - explain that you need to be alone. Remember that your family loves you and cares about your well-being.

Crisis Behavior Strategies

Most often, male behavior fits into several stereotypical options.

The first is to turn life 180 degrees. That is, change everything at once: job, housing, family, hobbies.
The second is that a person at a subconscious level “moves away” from fears and worries. At the same time, their influence does not disappear anywhere, therefore, this strategy does not provide any positive effect.
The third one tries to cope with himself using improvised means. Alcohol abuse and infidelity appear. As an option, he throws himself into work, or, conversely, becomes completely passive and lacking initiative.
The fourth is looking for (and finding) the guilty - anyone, but not himself.

In any case, a simple recommendation will do: draw up a program to overcome the crisis situation. You can literally sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and develop an action plan - this will help bring order to your chaotic thoughts.

Take time to fight your condition, remember that you can cope with any life circumstances, but it’s up to you with what baggage you will get out of them.

How to help him cope with the crisis - tips for women

When a husband experiences a midlife crisis, the woman’s first question, of course, is: how to support her man?

To begin with, be prepared to wait and be more patient - it will most likely take a long time to fight the crisis. Remember that in this state your husband especially needs support, but do not impose it, just be nearby.

Even if it seems that your husband has completely stopped paying attention to you, you should not throw tantrums and make scenes - this will most likely lead to the opposite effect, he will simply leave you silently. Try to be more attentive, show understanding, responsiveness and love.

What to do if your husband blames you for everything? Don't allow yourself to get bogged down in guilt and self-blame. You are not to blame for anything. When a man regains the ability to reason sensibly, he himself will understand this.

How else to help your husband:

During a crisis, you should not burden your life partner with demands, unpleasant conversations and everyday requests. When a person feels himself at a crossroads in life, he does not care about a burnt out light bulb. Be patient, silently change it yourself, or again silently call a specialist. And don’t blame your spouse for not being able to drive a nail.
Don't try to lure your husband with a drastic change in your image or unnecessary surprises. This often irritates rather than helps take the relationship to the next level.
Learn to leave a man alone in time. You don't need much - a few hours of peace, quiet and solitude. Do not deny a person this right.

Family sphere - how to save a marriage

If the conversation turns specifically to saving the marriage, it means either the warning signs were ignored, the crisis is already in full swing and mutual understanding between the spouses is completely broken, or the man used the strategy of crisis behavior “change life 180 degrees.”

A large percentage of marital breakdowns include infidelity as the main reason. The situation in this case is always very complex and requires different approaches depending on the situation. It is impossible to give a template model of behavior, since everyone decides for himself whether he is able to forgive and justify betrayal.

You also need to decide for yourself whether your marriage is worth trying to fight for, or whether its value is so small that there is no point in it.

The ability to talk normally and listen to each other plays a very important role . Talk to your spouse, it is better to agree in advance what you will discuss, when and how. Choose a place where you both will be comfortable and comfortable. During the conversation, try not to slip into mutual accusations.
If the value of marriage for each of you is great enough, you can come to a common decision. Sometimes people just need a break from each other, and divorce is not required for that.
Moreover, according to statistics, men who leave their family during a crisis for a new young wife very often later regret it. Don't cut your teeth, take a break, think about your actions and make a balanced, not emotional, decision.

Conclusion

After the end of the crisis of 40 years, a man may still experience a crisis of 50-55 years - a symptom of impending old age. However, you shouldn’t worry too much: it proceeds much more easily and unnoticed. A person's aging depends largely on how he lived his life.

Among balanced people who engaged in intellectual work, there is a very high percentage of those who subsequently live long and have wisdom, calmness and a philosophical attitude towards various aspects of existence, including death.

Fear of approaching old age is an important emotional component for a person in a difficult situation, but you should not get hung up on it. Remember that many outstanding personalities created their best works at a very old age.

Titian's best paintings were created after he was 80 years old. Michelangelo was finishing his work in the Vatican in the Church of St. Peter when he was already close to 90. “Faust” was written by Goethe at the age of eighty, and Galileo at the age of 71 discovered that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

A crisis is not a death sentence, but a time when you can rethink life, your place in it and find something that will inspire you to further achievements.

Radical fight against SWR

How to deal with a crisis when all means have been tried? When you don’t want to sugarcoat a problem, but really solve it once and for all? There is a solution.

We are talking about the “Turbo-Gopher” technique. With its help, you can get rid of both the consequences and causes of a midlife crisis. And not only from them, but also from a host of other internal problems that darken the life of any person.

But this method is really radical, and it is not suitable for everyone . It will require determination and strength, and of course serious work. But if you don't want to give up, if you're SICK of powdering and you're ready to make a DECISIVE change in your condition, this may be exactly what you've been looking for. Read more about the technique here. Download the method and get started. And after 2-3 months you won’t recognize yourself.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

Treatment with folk remedies

Folk remedies can become auxiliary methods aimed at overcoming anxiety and generally strengthening the body.

It is recommended to regularly drink herbal teas, which may include valerian, mint, chamomile, yarrow, lemon balm, strawberry, etc.
A decoction of rose hips, hawthorn, and cranberry juice is useful.
It is recommended to consume honey before bed, which helps normalize sleep.
Remedy with dried fruits. Mix equal parts of dried apricots, prunes, raisins and walnuts (100 g each), chop everything and add 50 g of honey. Store the product in the refrigerator, use 1 tbsp. l. 2-3 times a day.

Prevention

Basic tips for preventing a midlife crisis are as follows:

Get rid of bad habits.
Eat as healthily as possible. The diet should be dominated by vegetables and fruits.
Play sports and walk outdoors as much as possible.
Communicate more with people who inspire and give positive emotions.
Learn to think positively and find as many pleasant moments in life as possible.
Try to maintain a friendly and warm atmosphere in the family.

Physiology

Middle age is characterized by certain physiological changes:

withering of the skin;
decreased melanin production;
hair loss of natural shade and thinning;
decreased growth;
change in body weight due to the ratio of fat mass to muscle mass;
decreased fertility in women.

The physiological state of the body can change depending on nutrition, genetic factors, country of residence, lifestyle, etc. Everyone is individual. There are as many differences as there are people.

Diet

Diet for the nervous system

Efficacy: therapeutic effect after 2 months
Timing: constantly
Cost of food: 1700-1800 rubles per week

Nutrition should be as varied and healthy as possible. It is important not only to eat healthy food, but also to try to structure your diet so that the dishes are tasty and enjoyable.

The menu should include the following products and dishes:

Rose hip decoction, citrus fruits, sauerkraut.
Nuts, seeds, sea fish.
Lean meat.
Cereals, cereals.
Green vegetables.
Honey, dried fruits.

It is advisable to drink less coffee and strong tea, and keep alcohol to a minimum.