How to independently establish relationships with classmates?
You can, of course, follow the same path of violence and immediately show all your classmates “who’s boss”, using physical force, and turn out to be the strongest and fearless in the class. But let's not engage in stupidity by promoting violence.
Ways for a child to establish relationships with classmates on their own:
- Try to find guys in the class who are similar to him in some way, for example, in academic success (or failure), or a common hobby.
- Lend a helping hand to your fellow student who is lagging behind in his studies, trying to encourage him and coach him in a specific subject or in the school curriculum in general.
- Show interest in class life. Offer your help in organizing school parties, cleaning the classroom or decorating for the holiday.
If you start showing your interest, openness and friendliness, then in most cases your classmates will also show sympathy.
One hundred percent
One hundred percent is the number of students who should listen to the teacher in class. “Is this from the realm of science fiction?” - you ask. Not at all. You just need to know some subtleties. The best teachers achieve obedience through positive and, importantly, unobtrusive measures. One hundred percent of attention is achieved through the skillful use of three principles.
Correction should not be intrusive or aggressive. One hundred percent attention is needed so that you can teach the lesson. If you make your way to this goal through a thicket of constant comments, you will end up with a vicious circle. By reprimanding one student, you distract everyone from the lesson, even those who are listening to you. Therefore, it is necessary to maintain discipline without deviating from the topic of the lesson and with minimal loss of time. We offer six types of unobtrusive correction in order of intensification. Try to resort to the first provisions on the list as often as possible.
- Nonverbal correction. Contact the offender with gestures or glances, without distracting from the topic of the lesson. For example, gesture to the student to lower their hand while you speak.
- Positive group correction. Do not talk again about what the student should not do. Briefly remind the entire class what the student should be doing during class. For example: “Everyone reads in turn; the rest are watching the person in charge.” Use this skill when you notice that students' attention is about to wander. The sooner you remind, the better.
- Anonymous individual correction. Give brief reminders to the class as described above, but in this case emphasize that not everyone is doing what they need to do. For example: “We wait for the two to be silent; everyone must look at the person answering.”
- Individual correction. If you have to address the student personally, make the remark without others noticing. Approach the offender’s desk, bend over and, trying not to distract others, quickly and quietly express your request. Then continue the lesson. For example: “Quentin, I asked everyone to listen to me, and I would like you to do the same.”
- Instant public correction. It is not always possible to make a remark without others noticing. Public correction will allow you to limit the amount of attention to the offender and explain what is expected of him, rather than scolding or telling him what he did wrong. For example: “Quentin, where are you looking? Rear desks, don’t yawn!”
- Punishment. If you cannot quickly resolve the situation without resorting to extreme measures, try not to disrupt the lesson. As with other types of correction, punishment should be quickly, unobtrusively and without unnecessary emotions. Ideally, a teacher should have an arsenal of techniques to adequately respond to any disruption and deal with it decisively and without hesitation.
Be firm and calm
- Catch it early. The best teachers instantly notice when a student's eyes begin to wander and stop his bad intentions before he can do anything.
- Gratitude has great power. Simply acknowledging that a student complied with your request not only demonstrates good manners, but also conveys to the entire class that the bad boy did what you asked. (Think about what else you could thank the student for.) Attention is restored, and students perceive you as a calm, well-mannered teacher who has everything under control.
- A means, not an end. Attention is a means, not an end. Students need to listen to you to succeed in their studies. “Look at me, otherwise you won’t understand” - this phrase will say much more than this: “Everyone should look at the teacher. If I ask you to do something, you must do it.”
- Universal requirements. Teachers who have perfectly mastered this technique emphasize the universality of the requirements. They express it this way: “I want everyone to sit up straight,” or better yet, “We should all sit up straight.” These phrases emphasize the unity of demands in contrast to this model: “Look at the teacher, Trevor.”
Focus on visible aspects of behavior
- Achieve maximum visibility. Find the right way to make discipline violators easy to detect. Do not demand abstract attention from students, but ask them to look at the teacher - this action is easier to track. Better yet, ask to put down your pencil and look at the teacher. Now you are observing the implementation of two instructions, and tracking the first - putting down a pencil - is much easier than noticing whether the whole class is looking at the teacher.
- Show that you are in control. Don't just give directions, but also monitor their implementation, and the students must understand that you are not asleep. Every couple of minutes, look around the class with a calm smile to check that everything is going according to plan. Before asking for anything, be sure to pause and look at the students. Say everything you see: “Thank you, Peter. Thank you, Marissa. First row, look at me." This emphasizes that you are watching everyone and noticing who is doing what, as if you had a “radar.”
Your appearance greatly influences the boys' attitude towards you.
And if the beauty given by nature cannot be taken away, then, contrary to popular belief, it is very easy to hide it from the eyes of boys. And if you, say, were trying to get rid of male attention, you could not wash your face, not take care of your hair, not washing it or combing it, not brush your teeth, wear dirty and shabby clothes, and completely forget about perfume and eau de toilette . And immediately your beauty would disappear somewhere, and such a pretty girl would no longer exist, but a kind of little girl would appear, to which no one would pay attention.
But, of course, this is not what you want at all. And a presentable appearance will be a good support for you in this. Firstly, female beauty is very important for boys, and secondly, you yourself need it to feel more confident. Moreover, as far as appearance is concerned, it is not enough to just look good. You need your own style that will make you unlike anyone else. Tasteful clothing and an attractive appearance are just steps leading to the respect of boys. After all, by the clothes, as they say... Well, you yourself know the rest. Subsequently, an opinion about you will develop during the process of communication.
When communicating, do not forget about your individuality.
So try to relax and be who you really are. Many girls (and boys), in order to impress the opposite sex, copy well-known and respected personalities. The manner of behavior, movements, phrases and even the voice, mercilessly torn from the idol, look, at least, stupid.
It turns out very unnatural, and apart from laughing behind your back, they usually can’t cause anything. But if you create your own image, what suits you best, your chances of getting the admiring glances of your classmates increase noticeably. .
And individuality, in turn, emphasizes independence.
Respect for others, including boys, begins with respect for yourself. If you respect yourself, then others will respect you too. Stand in front of the mirror and see how beautiful you are. Even if you don’t like something, force yourself to believe that there is no one better than you in the world. Do you remember the fairy tale about the sleeping beauty? “My light, mirror, tell me who in the world is the sweetest, the most ruddy and the whitest.” Do approximately the same thing with your mirror, constantly making sure that “you are beautiful, no doubt.” And if you look at yourself with loving eyes, then others will undoubtedly immediately understand that there is something in you.
But just try not to let self-love develop into narcissism, otherwise you won’t achieve respect for yourself, but you will ruin your relationship with others. Respecting yourself, respect others. After all, they are no worse, although you are the coolest and most beautiful.
How to increase your authority in a team?
How to raise your authority in a team
- Ways to raise authority
- The need for awareness
- Be principled and persistent
- Be sincere and open
- Take responsibility
- Look for solutions to problems
- Be proactive
- Put yourself in the position of others
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Don't be afraid to ask for help
A child should not be afraid to ask for help from peers, be it one textbook between two or solving homework together after class. At the same time, one must not forget to show friendliness and affability, without using a pleading or commanding tone. It is also recommended to ask your classmates for help in holding a joint party, where the guys can all chat together in an informal setting. If nothing works out, you should ask your parents or teacher for advice.
How can parents help?
Parents, as you know, most often brush off their child’s problems and simply say: “Oh, don’t pay attention! You are already an adult, the main thing is to study well, and the rest will pass.” But how can one study well when a child is sad, worried and so wants to belong in the class?
Therefore, the first thing every parent needs to do when a child shares his problem with him is to provide moral support. Say something like this: “Yes, my dear, now you are angry and sad, but everything is in your hands, and you need to try to improve relationships in the class and under no circumstances withdraw into yourself.” After this, it’s worth exploring the possibilities for solving problems with classmates, giving advice on how to behave within the team, and what not to do.
But not all parents are loyal to those who abuse their children. Some, as soon as they hear complaints of this kind, without discerning who is right and who is wrong, run headlong to school and begin to quarrel with the class teacher, calling him to account. Then they quarrel with other parents in the class, and there are generally outrageous cases when an adult can physically injure a careless classmate of his child. This absolutely cannot be done. All conflicts must be resolved calmly and fully presenting the whole picture of what is happening. You can seek help from a school psychologist, try to communicate with other parents and find out their point of view on this issue.
Parents must certainly intervene and react immediately if a child is constantly humiliated en masse or beaten. It is important to understand that this is no longer just a situation of a quarrel with classmates, but the infliction of deep psychological trauma. And if parents continue to remain silent in this situation, then it will be very difficult to return the child to normal life and improve his psychological background.
Solving the problem with the help of teachers
A teacher is able to influence a class in which children do not accept someone, but only if the child himself tries to establish communication, and his parents try to behave appropriately. Most often, preventive work with schoolchildren is organized by the class teacher, and it is he who should be contacted. How he can help a child improve relationships with classmates:
- First of all, the teacher should conduct a preventative conversation with the whole class if the children offend or ignore a classmate.
- The teacher can skillfully interest all classmates in the joint participation, for example, in some thematic event, taking into account the desires, needs, interests, abilities of everyone, so that no one feels inferior.
- You can unite your classmates through extracurricular activities. For example, choose a non-trivial method and go on a hike with the whole class. And try to play it out in such a way that the children are as involved as possible in the joint work: making a fire, setting up a tent camp. After such a trip, it will be possible to hold a class hour in which each student can be praised for his behavior during a common task.