If you trace the biography of many famous people from Franklin to Jobs, you can see that almost all of them were engaged in self-development to one degree or another. Modern researchers are trying to find out everything about the role of luck, origin, and innate qualities, but they agree that all these elements are additional, but not fundamental.
For example, Benjamin Franklin admitted in his autobiography that he prioritized self-development because he understood the importance of developing individual skills to achieve success. As a result, he became one of the most influential people of his time.
Self-development is personal growth, mental or physical development through independent study and exercise. By engaging in it, a person develops his talents, potential, accumulates human capital, which contributes to his employment, improving the quality of life and the realization of his aspirations. This is a lifelong process.
Of course, a person can engage in self-development both on his own and with the help of mentors, teachers, trainers and coaches (which, however, makes the prefix “self-” not very correct, but does not change the essence).
Personal self-realization
In addition to the basic needs at the level of the body, there is an instinctive desire for self-realization, when, when interacting with the outside world, a person displays talents and knowledge through actions.
It is possible to succeed as a person provided that you have developed intelligence and internal freedom that determines your occupation.
The process of becoming begins with the search for purpose. To identify goals and dominant traits, personal, material, and time factors should be analyzed.
Self-realization plan
- Ask yourself what you can handle easily.
- Immerse yourself, impartially evaluate negative and positive qualities.
- List what you would like to do. Intentions must be true, and not imposed by social stereotypes. Often problems arise because a person chooses the wrong field. An artist at heart cannot become a good financier.
- Next to it, write down the aspects necessary for a particular type of activity.
- Compare notes, note the prevailing character traits. Calculate how much time and money you are willing to spend on mastering a new profession or organizing a business. Decide who is your authority. Compare the facts with reality, form an idea of the future.
Stop wasting your energy and relax
If we don't sleep, what do we usually do from 10 pm to 2 am ? I especially want to ask this question to every teenager.
It’s one thing when we spend time with friends or family and enjoy it, but it’s completely different when we watch TV or surf the Internet.
We often suffer from lack of time, but have we ever really thought about how much we spend on completely useless and meaningless things ? Time your day at least once to evaluate the usefulness of your daily activities.
Agree that if we stopped wasting our nights so uselessly, we could get a good rest, and then wake up ready to create our day according to our own rules, and not lament the lack of time for ourselves.
We all have certain obligations and we all have some desires.
Stop wasting time and take control of it so that your responsibilities do not take away all the precious time that you could spend on fulfilling your desires.
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Choosing a priority direction for self-development
Now let’s talk about how to determine in which area of life to start self-development, if it seems that there are too many problems: not enough money, and you need to improve your physical shape, and you need to learn English. There are so many things to do that you don’t know what to do.
The bad news: you won't be able to get everything at once. And it’s better to set a goal in one direction and gradually move towards it, giving it priority.
The good news is that by regularly engaging in self-development in one area of your life, you will quietly begin to improve in all others.
Each person chooses the priority direction for development himself. For some it is a career, for others it is personal life, etc.
Psychologists identify eight main areas of life that are most important to most people. It is convenient to depict them in the form of a circle divided into sectors. Each sector is allocated to one main life area.
Right now you can rate each area of your life on a scale from 0 to 10 and connect all the ratings with lines. As a result, you will see a clear example of how balanced your life is. Here is one example:
A frequently encountered example of a person who spares no effort in making money, forgetting about health, friends, spiritual growth, and communication with family.
In fact, thanks to a huge amount of psychological research, we can confidently say that a person feels happy when there is satisfaction in all areas of life. There is no point in putting all your efforts into one area and forgetting about others. Yes, you can achieve good success in this area, but why if you feel unhappy at the same time? Unfortunately, this is most often understood too late, when precious time is irretrievably gone.
Therefore, it is better to start self-development from the area to which you gave the lowest rating.
Conclusion
And as usual, after a general overview of the topic, I will write my personal opinion. Whether you agree with him or not, decide for yourself
I believe that self-development should begin with developing the skill of managing your mind and your attention. In my opinion, this is the basis for the success of any other self-development activity
After all, it is the lack of self-control skills that most often becomes the reason that a person cannot regularly engage in self-development.
How many times have you started losing weight, doing fitness, or learning English and giving up? There are too many distractions in the modern world: TV series, social networks, television, the Internet, a huge flow of information and information noise.
Thousands of signals around are trying their best to attract our attention and pinch off a piece of energy.
And the most unpleasant thing is that most of this information is simply useless and often harmful. If you hear good information, it means they want to force you to buy something. If you hear any news about events in the world, then they most likely want to intimidate you. And every little bit of information is trying to evoke at least some emotion in you.
To achieve your goals in self-improvement, you simply need to learn how to direct your energy in the right direction, and give a tough rebuff to everything that tries to distract your attention without your permission. And from all this I want to conclude that you need to start self-development and self-improvement with meditation
Meditation is training to control your mind. Meditation is a platform that ensures the effectiveness of self-development, be it learning foreign languages, public speaking, or physical development. We can say that the mind is a tool that we use to change ourselves. You shouldn’t be like the fool in the parable who spent three hours sawing a log with a dull saw because he doesn’t have time to sharpen the saw. Prepare a good tool first, and then with the help of it things will go much faster
And from all this I want to conclude that you need to start self-development and self-improvement with meditation. Meditation is training to control your mind. Meditation is a platform that ensures the effectiveness of self-development, be it learning foreign languages, public speaking, or physical development. We can say that the mind is a tool that we use to change ourselves. You shouldn’t be like the fool in the parable who spent three hours sawing a log with a dull saw because he doesn’t have time to sharpen the saw. Prepare a good tool first, and then with the help of it things will go much faster.
Developing the mind, the ability to manage yourself, your attention through meditation - this is where you need to start self-development
Summary
Online schools for studying:
- Skillbox;
- Netology;
- Teach Line;
- GeekBrains;
- Foxford;
- Vikium;
- Tetrics;
- Inglex;
- ESHKO;
- Puzzle English;
- Skyeng;
- EnglishDom.
A selection of books for self-development:
- “Think and Grow Rich” - Napoleon Hill;
- “How to Win Friends and Influence People” - Dale Carnegie;
- “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” – Stephen Covey;
- “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” – Mark Manson;
- "Magic of the Morning" - Hal Elrod;
- “Think big and don’t slow down” - Donald Trump;
- "From Urgent to Important" - Steve McCletchy;
- “Time drive: how to have time to live and work” - Gleb Arkhangelsky;
- “Think like an engineer” - Madhavan Guru;
- "Stop Being a Nice Guy" - Robert Glover;
- “You don't know anything about men” - Steve Harvey;
- “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” - Dale Carnegie;
- “Work, money and love” - Natalia Grace;
- “What Do You Really Want” – Beverly Batchell;
- “The ABC of Money” - Bodo Schäfer;
- “Be the best version of yourself” - Dan Waldschmidt;
- “You can do more than you think” - Thomas Armstrong;
- “The Path to Financial Independence” – Bodo Schäfer;
- “Rich Dad Poor Dad” - Robert Kiyosaki;
- “Think like a millionaire” – Harv Eker;
- "To hell with all of it. Take it and do it” - Richard Branson;
- “Awaken the Giant Within” – Tony Robbins;
- "Drive. What really motivates us" - Daniel Pink;
- “Who Will Cry When You Die” – Robin Sharma;
- "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" - Robin Sharma;
- “NO SY” – Jen Sincero;
- “I eat, I run, I live” - Yulia Vysotskaya;
- “The Hungry Brain” – Stephane Guilanay.
Health
Nutrition
- Reduce your sugar intake. The World Health Organization recommends eating a maximum of 25 grams of sugar per day. A Snickers bar contains 30 grams.
- Eat no more than 5 grams of salt per day.
- Don't overeat. Scientists have found that people who don't overeat live longer.
- Don't eat fast food.
- Don't eat flour. Favorite pies contribute to obesity and increase the risk of diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. They also cause excessive gas formation and bloating.
- Drink more water rather than tea and coffee. These drinks lead to yellowing of teeth and leaching of vitamins and microelements. If you eat them with food, it will “rot and ferment” in the stomach.
Physical activity
- The WHO recommendation is 150 minutes of physical activity per week. Run, do push-ups, pull-ups, do abs and squats.
- Walk 10,000 steps - 7 kilometers per day.
- Do exercises.
Dream
- Sleep 6 to 8 hours a night.
- Sleep in a dark room. Otherwise, the hormone melatonin, which is necessary for the functioning of the body, will not be produced.
Treatment and prevention of diseases
- Once every 6-12 months, undergo a full examination to identify diseases in the early stages.
- Take vitamins. For example, ascorbic acid.
How quickly can a person develop?
If you want to see an exact figure showing how long it takes for your personality to transform, then this figure will not be here.
It all depends on how you “develop yourself”. If you read 1 book a week or even a day, it will not give you anything. Useful information without further application is useless junk in your head.
Conclusion: To get at least some results, you need to apply the acquired knowledge in life.
Let's start self-improvement
Working on yourself is very hard and long work. Regardless of what social class a person belongs to, he can improve himself and his life as soon as he takes action. It is better to start self-development by reading specialized literature.
Literature
The foundations of personal self-development lie in learning new information and mastering new skills. A person’s personal growth always begins with increasing his cultural level. Those who read a lot are better able to formulate their thoughts, their speech is beautiful and correct.
Books about the basics of personal self-development are also widely popular. There are a huge number of them, and choosing from this list will be quite easy. Most often, psychologists recommend:
“Be the best version of yourself” M.D. Ryan. A book about promises to yourself, good habits and ways to develop them. “A Whole Life” M. W. Hansen, L. Hewitt, D. Canfield
This raises the question of setting the right life values and how important self-affirmation is. “Get Out of Your Comfort Zone” by B. Tracy
The leading publication covering personal growth in psychology. It discusses a plan to work on yourself by neglecting your life principles. “This year I...” D. Waldschmidt. Reveals the main ways of development and shows life examples of successful people.
After reading at least one of these books, a person rethinks his values and receives motivation for further action. There is no need to be skeptical of everything that is written there, but you should not follow it blindly either. Any plan must be tailored to the individual.
Quitting habits
Working on yourself requires improvements not only in the intellectual sphere. First of all, a person needs to get rid of bad habits. Some of them take away his health, while others take his time.
The desire for self-development must begin with a healthy lifestyle. If you can’t quit smoking right away, then you need to develop willpower and fight your desires. The same goes for alcohol, drugs, love of junk food and a passive lifestyle.
Habits that take up free time are nothing more than the Internet, television, laziness, etc. By giving up one of these items, you can free up several hours to spend time with your family, relax or work.
21 day principle
It is known that it takes 21 days to consolidate a habit. Based on this principle, many methods of self-development and programs for optimizing your life, home or relationships have been created.
The most popular of them are:
- “Purple bracelet” - a person must wear a lilac bracelet on one hand for 21 days. But there is one important detail: as soon as the person complains, gets angry, or quarrels with someone, the bracelet is put on the other hand, and the report starts all over again.
- “Fly Lady” system – improving your home and creating comfort. For 21 working days, it is suggested to divide housework into small parts and complete them step by step. By the end of the course, most everyday worries become automatic, and a person does them without thinking or forcing himself.
By performing the same action during this period, you can introduce correct, healthy habits into your life. This way you can train yourself to drink a glass of water on an empty stomach or do the necessary work every day.
Reward system
For both men and women, in any path of self-development, not only the final result is important, but also the intermediate one. Moving forward fractionally is much more effective than having one big dream.
To make it easier to complete many segments, you need to develop a reward system for yourself. It can be anything depending on the preferences and capabilities of the person. Some people reward themselves with a new item or a trip abroad, while for others a luxury would be a cup of freshly brewed coffee or chocolate cake.
Travel is a great reward for success
List of useful exercises
Let’s start learning exercises that are perfect for those who are just starting self-development.
The Miracle Morning Method
The “Miracle Morning” method includes a set of 6 exercises that must be done every morning.
- Tune in this evening. Say to yourself several times “Tomorrow I will get up at 6:00 (choose any time). I will feel refreshed and well-rested.”
- Cheer up in the morning. Drink a glass of water, wash your face and do some exercise.
- Do a meditation. Let's talk about this in more detail later.
- Write down your goals and plans for the day.
- 15 minutes of reading.
- Any other matter. For example, for me this is studying English.
Charger
From the very morning, the body needs to wake up. And the most effective way to do this is to exercise.
Charging will take a maximum of 7-8 minutes. For this, a couple of rotations of the head, arms, torso, stretching and ten push-ups are enough.
Meditation
You only need to sit in silence for 5 minutes before going to school or work. But thanks to this exercise, your thoughts will be more focused throughout the day.
Some tips for meditation:
- Find a comfortable and quiet place where no one should disturb you;
- Close your eyes and breathe deeply;
- To avoid being distracted by thoughts, focus on your breathing, listen and feel every inhalation and exhalation;
- It is not necessary to sit in the lotus position. Make yourself comfortable.
Affirmations
An affirmation is a statement phrase that contains a positive attitude. When repeated many times, this phrase becomes fixed in a person’s subconscious, which ultimately affects reality.
Simply put, if you repeat the phrase “I am a successful person” , you will definitely become one. At least internally you will feel 100% successful.
I recommend repeating the following affirmations every morning:
- “I am a confident person”;
- “Money from various sources streams into my hands”;
- “I feel healthy, energetic and full of energy throughout the day”;
- “I don’t waste time on things I don’t need”;
- “Girls like me and make them interested.” Likewise for girls.
Transitions
Take small breaks of 5 minutes throughout the day.
Every time you come home from school or work, sit down in a comfortable place, relax, calm down, and breathe out. And only after that proceed to other things. This is the transition.
Writing thoughts in a diary
Keep a diary and write down your thoughts in it every evening. It could be anything:
- New acquaintance;
- Cool idea;
- Useful experience, etc.
If you suddenly have nothing to write, take stock of the day. List your accomplishments and failures for the day.
Educational courses, trainings, webinars
Here is my personal top self-development courses that change your life:
- Free training “How to improve memory and develop attention”
- Online course “Development of memory and attention”
- Webinar on personal effectiveness “How to find strength for growth and development”
- Online program "Self-knowledge"
- Online program "Storytelling"
- Excellent memory
Watching educational films
We have already talked about books. Now it's time to talk about films. Although there’s nothing to even talk about here, because the benefits are the same as from books. You watch, learn something new, or most often get inspired, and then try to implement it in life and move towards your own goal.
At the end of the article, I compiled a small top of films for self-development purely on my own.
Learning English
For those who don’t know what hobby they want to take up, I suggest learning languages.
First of all, it's exciting.
Secondly, now is such a time that it is a sin not to know English.
Thirdly, English may be needed everywhere.
Personally, I study English using the YouTube channel “English by Playlists”. I liked the approach to studying when you first study theory for several lessons and then go through practice.
Accounting for income and expenses
You can create a table yourself and fill it out every month. Here is a sample table for accounting:
Example of accounting for income and expenses
Help in self-development
You should not rely only on yourself. This is how mistakes are most often made and control over the successes made is lost. Therefore, you constantly need to read new literature on issues of harmonizing your life, as well as gain knowledge and skills.
Fortunately, there is a huge amount of information, spiritual books and Eastern practices on improving contacts with people around you and with yourself. In such manuals you can find tips and methods for adjusting your behavior and well-being. If you are constantly guided by the instructions of those who have long embarked on the path of self-improvement, then a person moves along it much further than acting alone.
You need to constantly look after yourself. Every conflict avoided in a work team, a suppressed desire to criticize a friend’s new hairstyle, or patience shown with a slow cashier in a store moves a person one more step towards self-improvement. He quickly begins to notice what prevents him and those around him from establishing relationships.
Once again it is worth emphasizing that work on oneself must be done constantly. She does not tolerate interruptions or backtracking. As soon as a person manages to advance further, he feels the extraordinary joy of being. It is she who gives a new impetus to the next achievements.
Self-development means harmonizing relationships with yourself and with loved ones. And it is these changes in consciousness that make life truly happy.
Take care of yourself physically
Physical capabilities undoubtedly play a very important role in order to feel happy and to experience a better quality of life.
When we feel bad or hurt, we can’t help but be upset about it, feel sorry for ourselves and justify our idleness.
To get rid of this problem, your physical condition must be at such a level that you do not even think about it . You do this by exercising, eating healthy, and getting enough sleep.
Without suitable oil, water, fuel and systematic maintenance, a car cannot drive normally. Its parts begin to fail one by one until the car completely falls apart.
The same happens with our body. Take care of your body. Give him the opportunity to act in your interests, and not vice versa.
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Women’s self-development: the most common areas of life
Among the most important areas that they would like to improve, women name relationships with the opposite sex (for unmarried people) and relationships in the family (for married people). Despite the desire to succeed in the profession, personal life is put first.
Loneliness does not always indicate that a woman is not doing anything for self-development. Even good housewives with an attractive appearance may not have a partner. The problem is often that a woman simply does not understand what kind of man she needs and what kind of relationship she wants to build with him. As a result, the partner has annoying shortcomings (smokes, spends a lot of time fishing or watching football matches), which forces him to break up. A man can also be completely absent from a woman’s life.
To meet your life partner, you should make a list of the personal qualities of the best partner for you. Write down the shortcomings that you are willing to put up with.
The psychological portrait is complemented by the physical one if it is important for you that a man has certain external features.
The imperfection of the family (naughty children, drinking husband) is often a reflection of our own imperfection. Try to understand what traits of your character caused your children to become disobedient. You may be too accommodating to their whims. Don't forget that you don't have to tolerate your drinking spouse. If a man has abdicated responsibility for his life, he is not capable of being the head of the family.
Recommendations for men
For dessert, I have prepared for you gender-specific recommendations for self-improvement. They will help highlight your strengths and achieve harmony. Let's start with men's.
Develop physically
Strength training and cardio are a must. They can be diluted with gaming and extreme sports, sports tourism, yoga. If you haven't done any of this before, start gradually.
Learn martial arts
I highlighted martial arts as a separate item, since this is training not so much for the body as for the spirit. They develop courage, patience, endurance - qualities so necessary for men.
Train your masculine character
In addition to the three listed, there are at least a dozen more truly masculine character traits. Diplomacy, endurance, ability to take responsibility, dedication and others. Think about which of these are lame in you, and focus on them.
Learn to make decisions
Every day a man has to make many important decisions. The fate of other people, for example, a wife and children, depends on some of them. If situations of serious choice put you at a dead end, you need to learn to make decisions. Otherwise, one day you will hear an offensive “not a man” addressed to you.
Start studying your favorite field of activity
It’s great when a person has clearly decided on his choice of life path from the very beginning and works at a job he loves. But this is not always the case, and not everyone goes to work as if it were a holiday.
Go to work like it's a holiday
After you have broken into yourself and built your own hierarchy of values, the time comes to take the next step on the path of self-improvement and personal development - start doing what you really love.
Let's say you work as a sales manager for plumbing fixtures, and in childhood and adolescence you were a great drawer.
They painted and then abandoned it - their parents insisted, or it was a lack of faith in their own abilities, or they considered this area of activity unprofitable - it doesn’t matter
This unrealized potential of yours, this talent buried in the ground, remains with you, lives in your soul, giving rise to a feeling of dissatisfaction and melancholy. Cast aside fears and doubts, do not think that others may consider you crazy. Get back to what actually brings you satisfaction.
Don't be afraid to learn. Our time provides ample opportunities for this: educational literature, online courses, seminars, trainings, classes with coaches.
What most often hinders personal growth?
1. Lack of self-confidence
Often we do not dare to accomplish many things, often for only one reason - we do not believe that a positive result awaits us in the end. Meanwhile, self-confidence is of great importance, and it is this that helps to overcome the most serious difficulties. With this doubt, they act completely differently - they destroy our aspirations at the root and do not allow us to get what we want.
2. Laziness
A successful person is not used to putting things off “for later.” At the same time, lazy people tend to postpone most tasks until tomorrow, and often end up completely “forgetting” about their plans. If you mentally constantly look for reasons to postpone work to another day, it will not bring anything good. Realize that there is no tomorrow - you only have today. Your life is a moment in the present.
3. Postponing the implementation of ideas
Even if you have grandiose plans, they mean nothing and bring you nothing until you start implementing them. Moreover, if you have an idea that is not implemented, it can even harm you. Postponing things until another day leads to stress, fear and anxiety - subconsciously you remember some incompleteness, and this does not allow you to “breathe freely”.
Tips for female self-realization
The success of self-realization largely depends on the relationship with yourself and the world around you. The company of like-minded people and self-love will help you achieve high results.
Enlist the support of loved ones
The support of loved ones is important for everyone who intends to improve one or another area of life. However, it is not always possible to find understanding. Some members of your family may have a more traditional outlook on life. Your grandmother believes that a woman should devote herself to her family and not do business. Parents may believe that a girl does not need to have a higher education.
Seek support from like-minded people and spend as much time with them as possible. When your relatives see your first successes, they will begin to view your actions more favorably. If you manage to achieve recognition in your chosen field, your loved ones will also support you.
Make new acquaintances
If possible, it is necessary to expand your circle of communication. Don't avoid introducing new people into your life. Every person, even those without a higher education, is able to teach something, tell something new. The appearance of new friends is necessary for a woman striving for self-realization and achieving goals, since the fulfillment of desires may depend on their presence in life. Communication is especially necessary for women who are forced to spend a lot of time outside of society (housewives).
It is necessary to monitor the quality of communication. You should avoid the company of people who have not achieved anything and who have a negative attitude towards the success of others. Communicating with those who treat you unkindly can be beneficial. Such people tend to notice your shortcomings, which will motivate you to work on yourself.
Learn to love yourself and others
Personal growth is impossible without self-love. If you consider yourself unworthy of the best, all your efforts will be in vain. A girl who cannot love herself needs to start showing respect for herself. Make 2 lists of your best qualities and achievements in life. You can respect yourself for your kindness, your ability to sing or cook. Be glad that you were able to get a degree in economics or buy an apartment without the help of relatives.
You also need to show love and respect to the people around you. Every person gets what he gives. Find bright qualities in your friends and family. Try not to pay attention to their shortcomings. Don't be shy to express love to your loved ones. People you don't know can be politely praised and thanked for small services. The expression of feelings must be sincere. Don't ingratiate yourself or flatter.
Don't give up
Be prepared for the fact that obstacles await you on the way to your goal, which you need to treat as calmly as possible. Changes in life always mean leaving your comfort zone. Remember that a leader is not someone who does everything easily and simply. A leader should be considered a person who is able to continue what he started, despite the obstacles that arise. You need to notice not only big, but also small victories. Perhaps you haven't found the strength to go for a morning run. But today you woke up half an hour earlier than usual.
Don't stop there
Less demanding people tend to stop at the results achieved. However, if there are no new aspirations, development stops. Having learned one foreign language, you can always start learning another, more complex one. If your income has reached the desired level of 50 thousand rubles per month, try to achieve an income of 70 thousand rubles per month. A person who has received everything he needs can use his potential to help other people.
