Where to start self-development for a woman and a man, advice and psychology

Every day we are immersed in everyday affairs. We run in a circle “work - home - work”, and problems overwhelm us. Worry and anxiety are growing. One feels emptiness and fatigue, which tends to develop into depression. And I really want peace and tranquility, to live in harmony with myself. Self-improvement and self-knowledge can help you cope with all adversity and find peace. So where to start with personal growth and self-development? Let's look into this.

What the article is about:

In search of ways of personal growth and self-development
Self-development - 7 simple ways
How to develop the right habits
The key to personal growth and self-development

We are born to understand the world and ourselves, so all activities that lead to increased awareness and development of critical thinking skills are considered higher forms of activity. A contemplative life, dedicated to the search for truth and constant reflection on one's own destiny, brings a person the greatest joy.

On the other hand, the greatest suffering and grief are associated with an unreflective life, the futility of which we often realize only on our deathbed.

where to start self-development

Success is inseparable from a conscious and rich life.

Where to start

How to find yourself and your purpose in life: what does it mean and where to start

At first, everyone is overwhelmed by fear and lack of understanding of how to begin self-development. Each person lives according to his own schedule, but everyone has a common problem - lack of free time. For some, this is a reason not to take on something new. If you decide to change yourself for the better, the main thing is to take the first steps; they are different for men and women.

To a woman

It is not clear how a woman can engage in self-development when she needs to take care of her family, raise children and work. Lack of time forces you to postpone plans indefinitely, so it is important to manage your time wisely. Where to start your self-improvement for a woman:

Set an exact date. You can’t start “one of these days” or “soon.” It’s better to start on the weekend, when work won’t distract you;
Make time. The choice depends on the girl’s biorhythms and her work schedule. For example, you can read useful literature in the morning or before bed, during breaks at work;
Stop clogging your brain with unnecessary information, this includes series and television programs. It is not necessary to completely refuse, but the viewing time should be reduced to 30-40 minutes;
Get rid of the habit of sleeping until lunch, if you have one. Peak brain activity occurs in the morning;
The day should begin with physical activity, without it there will be no internal changes.

Woman with a book

Note! A woman who begins the path to self-improvement may face reproaches from family and friends. The older generation does not always share women's desire to do something other than family and work. You shouldn’t tell everyone about your plans; it’s better to move in your own direction without further ado.

To a man

Males cannot live without a goal; they always need to achieve new heights. Self-development and self-improvement are important for any man, where to start:

Pay attention to your physical development. Taking care of your health and body is the first thing a man should do;
Establish sleep and wakefulness patterns. You need to sleep at least 7 hours, wake up no later than 8 am, if your work schedule allows it;
Find time to read, meditate and learn new things. This can be 30-40 minutes before bedtime or in the morning, you can allocate 10 minutes several times during the day;
To save time. Every minute of life should be filled with meaning. It is better to give up watching TV and reading the tabloids, replacing them with watching documentaries and quality films.

Note! The main ways to quickly develop yourself are to read the right books and communicate with people from whom you can learn useful skills. At school, a student learns from teachers; in adult life, one can learn from business partners, colleagues and close circles.

A little theory

There is a statement that self-development and personal growth are one and the same. Indeed, they walk side by side and lead to a common goal. Self-development is understood as a person’s actions, which he carries out without pressure or interference from third parties. It is a conscious process aimed at achieving clear goals or beliefs.

Personal growth is a concept used in psychology. It means developing a person’s certain qualities and acquiring skills that improve specific areas of life. This includes social, financial, cultural and other areas. The main task of personal growth and self-development is to increase a person’s potential and high performance in selected areas of life.

From these two concepts a conclusion emerges. Actions are carried out in a specific direction. To achieve results, a self-development plan is drawn up. It includes actions that a person must carry out. This includes reading books on self-development, watching films on personal growth, and taking trainings.

How to make a self-improvement plan

How to change your life for the better and where to start

If a person does not know how to begin self-development and self-improvement, it is necessary to draw up a clear action plan. Without an exact sequence, a beginner risks giving up within a week without calculating the load.

Plan in notepad

Women's Day is difficult to plan and allocate time for reading literature or attending courses. Self-development plan for a woman, where to start:

Make a list of important things to do for the week. Every evening you need to plan your day;
The morning should start with a good mood, for this you need to get enough sleep;
The girl must determine the direction of development: family, relationships, career. Every week you can alternate directions, devote more time to one thing;
Find the problem: problem in relationships, stagnation at work, complexes. Then decide for yourself what you want to get in the end;
Set a minimum goal. For example, the goal is “to spend the weekend with your loved one and not quarrel” or “to do more work this week than last”;
At the end of each week, you need to summarize, praise yourself for your successes and analyze your mistakes. Set new goals for yourself every week.

How a man can begin to develop himself, a step-by-step plan:

Decide on your desires. You need to ask yourself the questions “What do I want to get?” or “Why do I need self-development?”;
Clarify your desires; you cannot formulate them with the phrases “I want everything to be good at work” or “I want a lot of money.” Instead, you can say, “I need to learn how to negotiate” or “I need to get a promotion”;
Make a list of what you need to do to achieve what you want. For example, the item “Learn negotiation strategies, read an article or watch a video on this topic” or “I need to learn how to use this computer program”;
Make a schedule for the week, which will include a point to achieve the goal;
At the end of the week, analyze what you have done and write down your results.

Man writes in a notepad

Note! An action plan, or instruction, is a mandatory component at the beginning of the path to development. Without understanding his actions, a person risks getting confused and stopping. Keeping your goal in mind and looking for ways to achieve it is something you need to do every day for personal self-development.

Self-development: checklist for every day

The best way to keep track of your progress is to keep checklists. How to compose them so as not to abandon them?

2 ways to create a checklist for self-development:

Method 1. Habit tracker for one area of the month.

To start, create a tracker for 14 days, so that after 2 weeks you can adjust your goals and habits. Write down 5-6 main tasks for development in a certain area.

For example, if you want to develop financial literacy, add the following daily habits to your tracker:

50 rubles into your savings account every day.
1 lesson of the course on financial literacy.
Calculating expenses at the end of the day.
Checking stock/bond/currency prices in your brokerage account (if available).

Method 2. Tracker of habits that will help you restore balance and have a positive effect on your performance and mood.

Remember: you shouldn’t fill the tracker with a hundred habits for the sake of imaginary productivity. Get a deep understanding of what goals you are striving for and what daily actions will help you achieve them.

How long does it take to acquire a habit? Officially - 21 days. But during this time, the habit simply appears: then it needs to be consolidated, and this will take at least 3 months. Alas, human physiology is such that if you are interrupted, you will have to start all over again.

The results will be better, and you will feel responsible and are unlikely to go astray if you set up a challenge with other people. The best option is a coach or specialist: he will definitely be able to bring you to the result and will guide you if you take a wrong turn.

If your budget is still limited, try organizing a challenge with friends: come up with clear conditions, deadlines and punishment for failure to complete tasks. There can be an infinite number of challenge options: “250,000 steps in a month”, “1 book a week”, “daily exercise on Instagram Stories” - choose to your taste!

How not to start personal development

Professional stress - what causes it and how to cope with it

Burnt with an idea and desire, a person grabs onto everything at once, without understanding what self-improvement is. Most people make the same mistakes:

Reading indiscriminately. Many people think that the main thing is to read as much as possible. The brain becomes clogged with low-quality and meaningless information. You need to study books that can be useful in work and relationships;
Lack of discipline and drive. If a person decides to engage in development because “he has to,” soon the motivation will dry up. The decision to improve yourself must be conscious;
Full time job. Contrary to the popular admonition to “Never stop!”, sometimes it is necessary to rest and meditate;
Actions at random. When there is no goal in your head for which the journey begins, all actions will be unreasonable. A person must understand what he wants: to improve personal qualities, become a specialist in his field, or simply lose weight and be healthy;
Unattainable goals. You can’t go to extremes and demand too much from yourself. You need to start with the minimum requirements for yourself, which will gradually increase;
Fear of failure. A person may not even try to do something, fearing possible difficulties;
Wrong direction. There are situations when a person tries to succeed in a business that he does not like. For example, a teenager receives an education in the field chosen by his parents.

A man chooses a road

Note! Despite the fact that everyone says that you need to look for your purpose, not everyone has the opportunity to quit a job they don’t like. A person can be stopped by financial difficulties, uncertainty and fear of being left with nothing. You can turn your favorite activity into a hobby by dedicating 15-20 minutes to it every day.

Health

Nutrition

Reduce your sugar intake. The World Health Organization recommends eating a maximum of 25 grams of sugar per day. A Snickers bar contains 30 grams.
Eat no more than 5 grams of salt per day.
Don't overeat. Scientists have found that people who don't overeat live longer.
Don't eat fast food.
Don't eat flour. Favorite pies contribute to obesity and increase the risk of diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. They also cause excessive gas formation and bloating.
Drink more water rather than tea and coffee. These drinks lead to yellowing of teeth and leaching of vitamins and microelements. If you eat them with food, it will “rot and ferment” in the stomach.

Physical activity

The WHO recommendation is 150 minutes of physical activity per week. Run, do push-ups, pull-ups, do abs and squats.
Walk 10,000 steps - 7 kilometers per day.
Do exercises.

Dream

Sleep 6 to 8 hours a night.
Sleep in a dark room. Otherwise, the hormone melatonin, which is necessary for the functioning of the body, will not be produced.

Treatment and prevention of diseases

Once every 6-12 months, undergo a full examination to identify diseases in the early stages.
Take vitamins. For example, ascorbic acid.

What helps you not give up on cultivation?

If a person does not know how to develop himself, he needs to start with minimal actions. As you achieve your goals, you can increase the requirements for further growth. How to help yourself become better:

Record your results. A person can be overly critical and forget to praise himself. You need to regularly record your progress so that in a year you can see progress;
Find a mentor and teacher. This should be a person who inspires, from whom you can learn knowledge. You can read success stories of famous people to understand their life principles;
Be disciplined. Motivation is a good, but fickle thing. Sometimes you have to do what is difficult, even if you don’t want to;
Decide on a goal - it could be buying a car, a promotion, or good family relationships;
Listen to your friends’ advice on self-development; perhaps someone has already faced similar difficulties and will share their experience.

Create a motivational notebook for yourself

This is a pocket book that will inspire, remind you of your goals and help you stay on track. You can turn to her if you are depressed, confused or drowned in procrastination.

Choose a notebook that is compact, sturdy, and cute. Write in it:

basic life values;
your mission - as you see it;
long-term and short-term goals and plans to achieve them;
your main strengths;
mottos that motivate you;
mantras that help you calm down and support you;
the positive feedback you received (feedback from clients, praise from colleagues and managers);
inspirational quotes.

You can also add pictures that illustrate your goals. Any creativity is welcome. This is your personal pocket motivator, compose and design it however you like. By the way, you can create not a paper notebook, but a document in the cloud.

Is it too late to start after 30?

The desire to develop yourself and change something in life can arise at any age, this is normal. At the age of 30-35, a person experiences a turning point in consciousness; he begins to analyze his life and what he has achieved. Life is a constant physical and mental movement; if a person stands still, he degrades. Both at 30 and 40 years old you need to improve yourself.

A man stands near the window

Self-development, where to start after 30 years:

Health. If before this a person followed bad habits, now you need to pay attention to your body. It is necessary to give up alcohol, cigarettes and junk food to take care of yourself in the future;
Sports activities. It may seem that sports and nutrition have nothing to do with mental development, but in fact, physical activity improves brain function;
Reconsider your social circle. Some people the same age stop growing at the age of 30 and slow down those who want to develop. It is not necessary to stop communicating with your best friends; you need to stop justifying your inaction by saying that “they don’t do anything either”;
Review your activities. Does it bring pleasure or just money? If you don’t like the job, a person will live in constant tension, and you can forget about personal growth;
Don't be afraid to take risks. After 30 years, you can change a lot in your life: change jobs, move to another city. If there is such an opportunity, you should not miss it;
Focus on what is happening. If there is something that brings you pleasure, you need to develop in this area. You shouldn’t waste your energy on different activities, do everything at once, it’s better to be a specialist in one thing.

Self-development and personal growth in career

There are many demands placed on the modern employee. The main qualities are resistance to stress, the ability to adapt to different working conditions, and the right psychological attitude. At the same time, not every manager is ready to send a new employee to training and education, preparing valuable personnel. We need employees who can join the team from day one.

To compete in your job search, seek information, develop skills, and attend professional events and seminars. Personal growth in your career gives the following results :

conscious choice of profession and idea of work;
quick and confident decision making;
understanding what qualities to develop for career advancement;
competitiveness, advantageous positions when searching for work on a competitive basis;
the ability to present yourself correctly during an interview.

Self-development involves studying information in a specific area. Fresh knowledge helps develop expertise. A person acquires related skills: the ability to plan a day and solve work problems.

Tips from psychology

Self-development in psychology has a different nature, depending on a person’s needs. At the beginning of your development path, you should decide on your goals. It is necessary to understand what is not satisfactory in your current life and begin to move in the chosen direction.

If there is a lack of free time, psychologists recommend alternative improvement methods that take from 5 to 15 minutes. Develop yourself as quickly as possible without being distracted from work:

Instead of music, listen to audiobooks and lectures. A long drive to work or home will be useful;
Read 1 useful piece of advice, fact, or success story every day. This amount will not overload the brain, but the information will be stored in the head;
Practice meditation. During your lunch break, you can do breathing exercises;
Find sites on the Internet with information of interest, save them in bookmarks and open them whenever possible.

How to start self-development, everyone decides for themselves. If one person likes to read educational books, another will like training and live communication. The main thing is not to stand still, any action will be justified and will be beneficial.

Get organized

No, we're not talking about washing dishes and dusting, but rather about getting rid of trash and organizing space. If you devote at least 10–15 minutes to this every day, your things and papers will always be in order. And this is important, because because of bedlam we lose precious minutes, get angry, get upset - although we could be doing something more productive.

A well-organized space is important for any business. As they say, first sharpen the ax and then chop the wood.

You can perform small tasks every day that will help rid your home of unnecessary things. For example, dismantling one shelf in a closet or clearing the desktop of all unnecessary things. Or maybe delete unnecessary emails and sort files on your computer into folders, because order in the virtual space is also important.