What is self-development
Before moving directly to practice, let's figure out what self-development is.
In simple words , self-development is active work to improve yourself and your life. You can develop personal qualities, professional skills, cognitive functions, physical abilities, etc.
Why is all this needed? Our world is designed in such a way that it is impossible to reach a certain point and stay there forever. If you stop moving forward, a rollback will certainly follow.
If you don't develop, you degrade.
Imagine that you sweated in the gym for a year, ate right and finally got yourself into perfect shape. “Well, now you can relax,” you conclude and go all out. I think there is no need to continue further, the result is already clear.
The same thing happens in all other areas of life. You won't achieve success until you start investing time and effort into self-improvement.
If you are ready to eke out the life of a dull average person lying in front of the TV every evening, you can close this article. Leave the process of self-development to bright, ambitious, caring people. Just don’t be surprised later why you suddenly found yourself at the bottom, and don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
Make learning a habit
It is necessary to acquire useful habits, for example, start learning something new every day.
By not being influenced by other ways of thinking, by avoiding new information, and by not having a different view of the world, the quality of our thoughts will not change .
If we do not find a way to transform our thoughts, then our entire existence will be limited by the framework that was set initially. If we don’t change anything in our life and it stays this way until the end, then we can say that we have already died.
What does it mean to feel alive? A living person is attentive, active, involved .
When our attention always follows the same path, our actions in some situations are automatic and not aimed at growth and development, then we cannot consider ourselves active and involved.
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In what directions can you develop?
Let's outline the amount of work. I will list the most important areas of life, and you try to objectively assess the state of each of them.
To make it easier for you, I have prepared a short survey about every aspect of your life. It consists of statements that you will need to confirm or refute. For each true statement, award yourself 2 points. Count the points separately for each item.
Health
The most important area of life, the foundation and basis for everything else. Let's see how things stand here.
- You don't have bad habits.
- You exercise regularly.
- You try to eat healthy and avoid food waste.
- Your night's sleep lasts at least 7 and no more than 9 hours.
- In case of illness, you always responsibly follow the doctor's instructions.
If you score less than 6 points, you need to improve your health first. And the sooner the better.
Relationship
This area concerns not only love and family relationships, but also any interactions between people.
- You have a permanent partner.
- You easily find a common language with new people.
- You are a peace-loving and non-conflict person.
- You have many friends.
- You prefer communication with people to loneliness.
Of course, relationships are not an area that a person cannot live without. But, you must admit, life surrounded by loved ones and loving people is much more pleasant than the life of a lonely hermit.
Career
Work is not just about making money, as some people think. This is the main internal support of the personality. Through this sphere, a person makes his contribution to society, takes a place in the social hierarchy, and finds his purpose.
- Do you like your job.
- You are considered a professional in your field.
- You never stop learning and implement new knowledge into your work.
- By doing your business, you feel that you are benefiting society.
- In your opinion, you receive a decent payment for your work.
Finance
No matter how they tried to convince us from childhood that money does not buy happiness, we are all skeptical about this idea. Money gives freedom, but isn’t this true happiness? Rate your relationship with money using the following statements:
- You have no outstanding loans or debts.
- Your income covers all your basic needs.
- You manage to save some money and build up savings.
- You don't make impulsive purchases that you later regret.
- You regularly keep track of your expenses and income.
If you are struggling in this area, you may want to improve your financial literacy.
Brightness of life
So that life does not seem too bland, there must be some pepper in it. Namely, interesting, bright and eventful leisure time.
- You have an exciting hobby.
- At least once a year you go on a trip.
- You spend your leisure time actively and intensely.
- You are able to find interesting and beautiful even in the most ordinary things.
- You rarely feel bored.
Spirituality
But the depth of life is given by immersion in spiritual spheres. It doesn't have to be a religion at all. You can practice eastern spiritual practices, study philosophy, and cultivate virtues.
- You practice meditation and auto-training.
- You are interested in self-knowledge and self-immersion.
- You read books on philosophy, theology, ethics.
- You often think about the meaning of life and other eternal questions.
- You are involved in charity work.
Start to engage in spiritual development when you put the other areas in order a little or in parallel with them.
Now that you have an idea of how things are going in each area of your life, you can outline a work plan. Start with the most important areas (health and work) if you have problems in them. Then improve yourself in the rest, starting with the most neglected ones.
How much do you need to develop yourself?
The answer to this question directly depends on what you want to get out of life, what small and global goals you are pursuing and how well you have the tools to achieve them. I am convinced that this needs to be done throughout life and constantly increase the tasks, as well as hone them for a certain age and needs. At the same time, I am also confident that our close environment helps us develop ourselves and directly influences our harmonious portrait as a person.
That's why it's always so moving to watch the Academy Awards ceremony when the winners thank those who were there along the way. Although, it is worth noting that everyone in life has certain crises that require solutions, and sometimes, having achieved a certain, so alluring goal, one becomes lazy to develop oneself further and wants to fold one’s hands and do nothing. In this case, I give myself one day of complete rest - without work, the Internet, mobile phone and news - I enjoy the rest, and after a couple of days this depressive state suddenly goes away.
I think, dear readers of GQ Blog Monitor, you definitely love to develop yourself creatively, especially since there are a lot of ways to do this. One of them can be considered a series of webinars, which will start in May. Through these online practices, we will explore basic personality, character, and behavior types and how they impact our world and our investing policies.
Traditionally, when putting a period in the material from the “Thoughts” section, I would replace it with an ellipsis. I wish you to develop yourself from different sides and get indescribable pleasure from it. And since the material ends with an ellipsis - an open ending, your useful comments and valuable tips below will help make it more complete and informative.
Author Ganesa K.
A professional investor with 5 years of experience working with various financial instruments, runs his own blog and advises investors. Own effective methods and information support for investments.
Recommendations for men
For dessert, I have prepared for you gender-specific recommendations for self-improvement. They will help highlight your strengths and achieve harmony. Let's start with men's.
Develop physically
Strength training and cardio are a must. They can be diluted with gaming and extreme sports, sports tourism, yoga. If you haven't done any of this before, start gradually.
Learn martial arts
I highlighted martial arts as a separate item, since this is training not so much for the body as for the spirit. They develop courage, patience, endurance - qualities so necessary for men.
Train your masculine character
In addition to the three listed, there are at least a dozen more truly masculine character traits. Diplomacy, endurance, ability to take responsibility, dedication and others. Think about which of these are lame in you, and focus on them.
Learn to make decisions
Every day a man has to make many important decisions. The fate of other people, for example, a wife and children, depends on some of them. If situations of serious choice put you at a dead end, you need to learn to make decisions. Otherwise, one day you will hear an offensive “not a man” addressed to you.
How to prepare yourself for self-improvement in 3 steps?
Each person has their own reasons for improvement. Someone wants to achieve success in business, someone dreams of winning a beauty contest, someone's soul cries and asks for changes. Why are people able to help themselves or can ask for help, but do not? They prefer to suffer and remain childishly helpless. Self-improvement requires constant personal control and effort. Therefore, the first step on the path to your perfection is the cessation of habitual suffering.
Step 1: Stop suffering now.
Today, shows where people struggle with their weaknesses are very popular. For example, they begin to lead a healthy lifestyle and lose weight. We look at them in the finale, compare them with the “before...” picture, say Wow, sigh and continue to suffer. They feel good, they have already lost weight. But the whole point is not in them, but in time and in our habit of suffering in inaction. Imagine that you, a year ago, stopped suffering from excess weight and at that (last year’s) moment began to lead an active lifestyle (as the participants in the show did). As a result, you today do not sigh with envy, but proudly kiss your powerful biceps. Still, a lot can be achieved in a year.
So here it is. If the Self of today stops crying for no reason, then next year it will be able to achieve perfect biceps, for example. Or something else outstanding.
Step 2. Love yourself.
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The old advice still remains relevant. Is it impossible without this? It is forbidden. You can't improve what you don't love. And freeing yourself from negative thoughts about dislike will give you a lot of energy that can be spent on the same improvement. If you can’t love yourself right away, try to accept it. Everything - with the mistakes of youth, wrong words, ugly deeds, missed chances, unfulfilled New Year's resolutions. Of course, psychotherapy sessions help a lot in this matter. The psychologist responds professionally to requests for help. It will help you get through difficult moments and stop wallowing in the past.
Accept Your Today as the zero starting point for change. Can't accept it? Pretend. Try to live as if you love and value yourself.
Step 3. Start dreaming actively.
We like to dream passively. Sometimes we show glimpses of activity, but in principle we don’t change anything. Because we don't like effort. Of course, you can wait forever for a courier with a suitcase of money to ring the doorbell and hand over a million just like that. Or the coveted prince will gallop up in a white Mercedes and put a wedding ring on his finger. Again just like that. But this doesn't happen. To motivate their players to take action, some coaches use the phrase from a Nike ad: “just do it.”
Perhaps it's time to stop absorbing information and passively daydreaming. It's time to JUST-DO-IT.
If you are thinking about where to start self-improvement, it means that the internal need for this has already matured. Before you begin the process, it's worth taking a break and asking yourself a few questions.
Take a self-confidence test
Recommendations for women
For the fair half of humanity, we also have some advice.
Look after your beauty and take care of yourself
A man can be a little more beautiful than a monkey and still be successful with the opposite sex. This trick will not work for women. Dedicate at least 5 hours a week to self-care.
Develop physically
Dancing, aerobics, swimming, yoga, and Pilates are perfect for ladies as physical activity. Strength training should also not be neglected, especially if your figure is far from ideal.
Read books for women
I don’t mean the women’s pulp novels and memoirs of Olga Buzova. We have a selection of high-quality literature for women for you - take a look.
Develop feminine energy
In the process of self-development, be sure to pay attention to accumulating the energy of femininity. The books we talked about above, as well as special women's courses and practices, will help you with this.
Also try to cultivate in yourself qualities that are traditionally considered feminine: gentleness, tolerance, mercy, altruism.
Update your wardrobe
Learn to dress modernly and appropriately, highlight your strengths and hide your flaws. I advise you to use the services of a stylist. It will set the vector for further independent work in this area.
Know your desires
Why do you do certain things? What motivates you when you make certain decisions day after day?
Why do you want one thing now, and after a while - something completely different?
Let's say why now you have a strong motivation to be strong, exercise, eat right, but after 5 minutes you find yourself making excuses not to do this?
And this question is posed not only for girls, who, in principle, tend to often change their desires, but it is relevant for absolutely everyone.
We are all convinced that we know ourselves perfectly , that is, we understand who we are and for what reason we perform certain actions. However, do not forget that you must be able to treat yourself objectively and, as it were, look at yourself from the outside.
Learn to notice the inconsistency of your desires. The most effective way to get at least a little closer to the possibility of personal growth is to become the master of your internal contradictions.
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Typical mistakes at the beginning of the journey
The path of self-development is not a smooth highway along which you will rush at breakneck speed into a bright future. Rather, it can be compared to a path in a dense jungle. On the way you will face many obstacles. I'll tell you about a few so you can be prepared for them.
Postponing actions until later
In other words, procrastination. Once you give in to it, you risk never reaching your destination. Therefore, be alert and do not cut yourself any slack. Don't put off until tomorrow what you promised yourself to do today.
Laziness
Every time you feel the urge to indulge in doing nothing, take on your work with renewed vigor. Otherwise, laziness will very quickly destroy everything you have achieved. Fight laziness until victory, spare no effort and resources.
Alignment with other people's landmarks
Each person is unique, therefore everyone has their own path. Don't blindly copy other people's models. Pass all the information received through yourself and adapt it to your characteristics.
Remember, the only person you should compare yourself to today is you yesterday.
Taking failures to heart
Be prepared for the fact that not everything will work out for you the first time. This is fine. Take mistakes and mistakes as valuable experience that will be useful in the future. Learn to persevere through failure and not give up when faced with obstacles.
Fanaticism in action
Some particularly impressionable people literally throw themselves into the deep end when they get excited about the idea of self-development. They become fixated on this process and cannot think about anything else. Such fanaticism does not lead to anything good. Don’t go to extremes, dose the load wisely, stick to the rule of the golden mean.
How much does it cost to develop yourself?
Many philosophers have been and are looking for answers to this question, but they cannot offer us a universal recipe suitable for everyone. Maybe it’s for the better, since everyone’s comfort zone is different, and its boundaries cannot be contained within a certain framework.
It is important to understand that development is a constant process, just at each stage there are new goals and tasks to be solved.
I would like to emphasize that development at 3 years is no less important than development at 25 years. Many of our habits, inclinations and even creative moments are instilled from early childhood, so why not constantly develop and improve them. And here we are talking about hunger (in the good sense of the word), creative, spiritual, intellectual hunger, when, feeling thirsty, you strive to fill yourself with fresh water. At first you get saturated with a few drops, and then even one glass is not enough for you.
Tips from psychology
Self-development in psychology has a different nature, depending on a person’s needs. At the beginning of your development path, you should decide on your goals. It is necessary to understand what is not satisfactory in your current life and begin to move in the chosen direction.
If there is a lack of free time, psychologists recommend alternative improvement methods that take from 5 to 15 minutes. Develop yourself as quickly as possible without being distracted from work:
- Instead of music, listen to audiobooks and lectures. A long drive to work or home will be useful;
- Read 1 useful piece of advice, fact, or success story every day. This amount will not overload the brain, but the information will be stored in the head;
- Practice meditation. During your lunch break, you can do breathing exercises;
- Find sites on the Internet with information of interest, save them in bookmarks and open them whenever possible.
How to start self-development, everyone decides for themselves. If one person likes to read educational books, another will like training and live communication. The main thing is not to stand still, any action will be justified and will be beneficial.
Improving yourself
20. Do something every day that makes you laugh.
Watch a funny video, read your favorite comic, or find a good joke on the Internet. A good, sincere laugh stimulates the brain and energizes a person. The best time for this is the middle of the day.
21. For 30 days, forget about alcohol and other stimulants.
If you drink alcohol and other stimulants with enviable regularity, then try to get rid of them for at least 30 days. You will feel better. There are many other natural ways to get energy. Eg:
- turn on the light, darkness provokes laziness.
— go out into the fresh air more often, it sharpens all your senses.
- Call a close friend: Talking to someone you care about is just the thing to boost your mood.
- reduce the amount of carbohydrates you consume, fruits such as raspberries, apples, oranges and grapefruits will fill you up with energy very quickly, eat less bread, dairy products and meat.
- Chew mint gum or drink mint tea to help you feel fresher.
- drink a glass of very cold water, this will “wake up” you.
- Be organized, you will save a lot of energy if everything is in its place.
- practice altruism.
- Exercise and stretch regularly in the morning.
- Drink more water, dehydration can reduce blood volume, which inevitably leads to fatigue.
- wear bright clothes. This trick has to do with the mood you project for those around you and the back and forth mood they project onto you.
22. Exercise at least half an hour every day for a month
Your health is the quality of your life. Don't let him get away. Eat right, exercise, and get an annual physical.
23. Purposefully put yourself in uncomfortable situations and face your fears daily.
Taking small, continuous steps into uncomfortable territory will help us get around the biggest barrier to positive change: fear.
Sometimes we are afraid that we won't succeed. Sometimes we subconsciously fear luck because we are afraid to deal with the mandatory professional growth that success requires.
Take care of yourself physically
Physical capabilities undoubtedly play a very important role in order to feel happy and to experience a better quality of life.
When we feel bad or hurt, we can’t help but be upset about it, feel sorry for ourselves and justify our idleness.
To get rid of this problem, your physical condition must be at such a level that you do not even think about it . You do this by exercising, eating healthy, and getting enough sleep.
Without suitable oil, water, fuel and systematic maintenance, a car cannot drive normally. Its parts begin to fail one by one until the car completely falls apart.
The same happens with our body. Take care of your body. Give him the opportunity to act in your interests, and not vice versa.
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