Many modern women are trying to be independent and self-reliant. They have real willpower and an unbending inner core.
But even iron ladies need a worthy man who can take care of her and protect her. How not to make a mistake when choosing a gentleman? How can you spot a weak-willed man?
There are 7 signs of weak-willed men who are incapable of responsible actions. The woman feels that she is an “aunt”. At any age, a woman feels like a grumbling woman next to a weak-willed man. She will have to push him in order for him to achieve results. She often gets irritated and angry.
As a result, a small, fragile woman becomes responsible for a lot, and the man looks like a little boy who is always listening to reproaches and teachings from his mother.
Photo: Pixabay
How to recognize a weak man
Any girl dreams of meeting a strong and decisive life partner who will relieve her of problems and worries, and will not create new difficulties. Knowing this tendency, weak men have learned to disguise themselves, and therefore their true essence may not be revealed immediately. To avoid falling into the trap, you need to remember these signs of male weakness:
- Indecisiveness. This manifests itself even in small things. For example, in a cafe, he can study the menu for a long time, not deciding for a long time to settle on any particular dish or drink.
- Inability to carry on a conversation. If in a dialogue with a man you have to constantly look for a way out of awkward pauses, you should be wary.
- Lack of career ambitions. Weak men often work not where they pay well, but where it is quiet and has a minimum level of responsibility.
- Slow reaction. A man does not know how to quickly make decisions not only in stressful, but also in ordinary everyday situations.
- Has bad habits. Most men with weak character are addicted to cigarettes and alcoholic beverages.
- He is in no hurry to legitimize the relationship. A marriage proposal from such a man can only be achieved after a series of persistent hints.
Description of weak men
Previously, I have already described in detail the three male ranks, among which there is a detailed description of weak men.
Three ranks of men: who is who?
But in this article we will not talk about ranks, but about the causes of male weakness. And here is a list of characteristics that are weak [of men. As you read, try to remember images of your husbands, brothers, friends or acquaintances. And if you are a man, then just compare with yourself.
Weak men tend to:
- Seek women's approval. Most often, a boy’s mother or grandmother raised him, so as an adult, he tries to please women so that they consider him good.
- Sacrifice yourself and your interests. They often sacrifice their time, energy, resources, do not know how to say “no” and believe that they will be rewarded with love for such generosity. But it won't be like that. Nobody likes a weakling.
- Avoid conflicts. Weak men seek stability and tranquility. They don't like change, much less conflict, because it requires fighting with men. Or women, which is even worse for them. They hide when they see a woman's tears or hear a hysterical scream.
- Suppress or hide your feelings. The weak prefer to analyze rather than feel. This is safe for them, because the expression of emotions will certainly provoke reciprocal emotions in others, to which weak men do not know how to respond adequately. That's why they try to be calm all the time. I remember one gypsy woman said, “Is this a man? “I humiliate him, but he can’t even get angry normally.”
- They try to be different from their fathers. If you ask them about their father, they will say something nasty about him. Or that they didn’t see him, they don’t know well, that he drank a lot, was weak-willed, angry, walking around, etc. Therefore, even as children, they decided to be different from their father. And it was at the moment of this decision that they lost touch with the masculinity within themselves. Therefore, the next characteristic of weak men is that they:
- They feel more comfortable in female company. Weak men do not like the feeling of competition within male groups, so they have few male friends. They seek approval from women, trying not to be selfish, not aggressive and not irritable - these are traits they attribute to the “other” men from whom they so want to differ. As if “those” are bad, and I am good and correct.
A few more distinctive features
Armed with some knowledge, you can easily determine that there is a weak man next to you. The signs are as follows:
- He is characterized by sacrifice. A man tries to please everyone (or cannot refuse to fulfill other people's requests). This is usually done for the sake of everyone's approval.
- Does not like change and conflicts. Moreover, this also applies to positive changes in life. A weak person likes to be in the “comfort zone,” even if it is not characterized by the most favorable conditions.
- Suppresses his emotions and feelings. Weak people are afraid to demonstrate their state of mind. They prefer to experience all joys and troubles within themselves.
- They love female company. In a male company, where everyone is successful and ambitious, it is difficult for such people. But with the ladies they quickly establish friendly relations.
How to make a weak man strong
To begin with, when we already understand the origins of this state of affairs, it is highly recommended to learn the history of our family, the fate of our ancestors, especially men. Accept their fates, remember them, analyze their lives. Already from the history of the family, much will become clear and the attitude towards the situation will begin to change. By changing your attitude towards men after analyzing the fates of your ancestors, you will gradually be able to make room in the family system for your man. As soon as this happens, men themselves will begin to become stronger around you. As soon as you allow yourself to be weak and defenseless, in need of male help, the man himself will begin to show his masculine qualities! And if your particular man does not do this, then another – stronger one – will be attracted into your life. Now it’s up to you to decide what to do with all this.
The main thing you need to accept is that you cannot change another person, especially an adult. Moreover, without his desire. This can only be done by the person himself. As for you, it is important to start making changes within yourself. Learn to be feminine, weak, submissive, be more tolerant and loyal to others and your own weaknesses, respect men, no matter what they are. It's difficult, but necessary.
The second thing you need to do is stop criticizing your man and being aggressive towards him. The more you do this, the less courageous and strong he becomes. You need to act completely differently, and then you will get what you want. Don't humiliate a man, don't insult him, don't suppress him, and don't get annoyed with him. The most important thing here is respect for a man. Without this, it is impossible to build healthy relationships. Accept and respect your man for who he is now. And his strength will begin to grow.
How to get from a weak man what a woman wants, making him stronger
To achieve something from a man, act from a weak female position. How to do it?
- More often than not you look like a weak and defenseless woman ; complain that you, like a little girl, cannot cope with some even minor problem. Say it like a woman, softly, subtly, and not in a strong, harsh, authoritative and harsh voice. Act like a weak woman. Let your man know that you need his strength and support and are confident in him. If a man feels that you see him as a strong man, he himself will begin to spread his wings and behave completely differently with you. Even if it doesn’t work out the best at first, encourage it and admire it! Over time he will learn to do it better.
- If you want a man to do something, don't nag him aggressively like you usually do. Instead of demanding and blaming, gently express how you feel about his behavior. Talk only about your feelings! Without getting personal. Tell him that when he does this and that, you feel offended, that you feel bad and you are very upset. This is a very powerful maneuver, thanks to which you will get much more from a man than if you demand and put pressure on him.
Use our recommendations and you will be surprised how much your life will change.
Classification
Are men weak? As practice shows, yes. However, they are not all the same. We can distinguish the following types of weak men:
- Sissy. This is a sacrifice of mother's love. Being under the influence of an authoritarian woman, he cannot take a single step on his own. In addition, this becomes a serious barrier to building your own family.
- Relaxed. This is a person who is unable or unwilling to take responsibility. Weakness is just a mask that allows a person to remain in his comfort zone.
- Indecisive. A person can be successful and active in work and hobbies. But when it comes to women, all courage and determination instantly disappears.
- Sensitive. This is a creative nature. A man is sensitive to all kinds of experiences. However, this does not mean that he is a weakling. By building a trusting relationship with a woman, a person can open up in a new way.
Signs of a weak man in a relationship
A weak-willed guy may look no different from his friends. To identify a weakling, it is important to observe your lover for some time and soberly evaluate his behavior.
He blames the solution to all problems on you.
If your partner prefers to silently watch you struggle with everyday and financial difficulties, think about why you need an incapacitated life partner. Such a person is incapable of either masculine actions or sacrificial love towards his family.
He pleases everyone else but neglects you
A weakling strives to please others, and he is absolutely indifferent to what you think about him. It always depends on the opinions of strangers.
He's never there when you need him.
As you know, a friend is a friend in need. If you have to deal with problems on your own, it means that your gentleman is weak and incapable of anything. It is useless to prove that men are physically stronger and better versed in technology.
When your partner is not with you, when his help is needed, or simply at crucial moments in your life, feel free to break off superficial relationships.
He is very selfish
If in a relationship a man cares exclusively about himself, ignores the desires of the woman and children, and is constantly concerned only with issues of his own comfort, this also serves as signs of a weak character.
An egoistic weakling will eat the last piece of candy without a twinge of conscience, abandon his wife at a bus stop in the pouring rain, and will not help in a difficult situation. Egocentrism is a common psychological trait of weak men.
He is always silent and does not defend himself
Detachment, emotional resistance to insults and non-conflict are the main signs of a weakling. If a lover silently swallows evil jokes, does not notice other people’s aggression and prefers not to run into a scandal, then it is not recommended to walk along dark streets with such a man.
He never stands up for you
It's scary to find yourself in the middle of a conflict alone. Only a weakling would push a woman to the front line to fight back on her own. If your man silently listens to criticism from his mother-in-law, attacks from friends, and does not defend you, think about it. With such friends, as they say, there is no need for enemies.
He shows no emotion
Another sign of a weak man is an unemotional relationship with a woman, even in everyday life. A person does not strive to demonstrate love, sympathy, and is always indifferent, a little irritable and constantly passive.
He is very lazy
In the era of technological progress, the lawn mower mows itself, the car is serviced at a technical center, you can always call a taxi, order loaders or a specialist in minor household repairs. A weak-willed man believes that a woman should organize her life, and a man after work has the right to relax on a sofa with a remote control.
It’s wonderful when responsibilities are correctly distributed in the family, and an atmosphere of respect and love reigns. But with a weak-willed type it is impossible to build such a way of life: a happy family life will not work.
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Why do men become weak?
Be that as it may, a man is born with all the characteristics inherent in him by nature that are inherent in the stronger sex. To turn into a weak and spineless person, you need to go a long way, being under the influence of the following factors:
- Upbringing. Usually weak men grow up in families where a mother with a tough, authoritative character is in charge.
- Problems with father. If dad was too scandalous and cruel, the boy, as a rule, does not want to be like him. As a result, as a man ages, he becomes increasingly spineless.
- Relationships with friends. Having been subjected to ridicule and mockery from peers since childhood, by adulthood a man acquires a lot of complexes.
Why are there so many weak people?
More and more often, women complain that men have become weak. But in fact, there is a historical explanation for this. Here are just some of the factors that psychologists focus on:
- War. The First and Second World Wars claimed many lives. As a result, the concentration of the male population decreased to 20%. Naturally, many children were left without strict parental upbringing. Despite the fact that a lot of time has passed, this has left its mark on today’s generation.
- Transition to an industrial society. Previously, boys from childhood were involved in field work, where they adopted male experience from their grandfathers and fathers. Today this tradition is almost completely exhausted.
- Education from women. Kindergarten teachers, school teachers, teachers in secondary and higher educational institutions... The vast majority of them are women. Naturally, boys (future men) adopt their behavior model.
- Feminism. Women's active struggle for their rights turned out to be very successful. But the ladies were not only actively involved in social activities. They taught children to be different from their fathers.
Why is there a weak man next to you?
Why does this situation even happen? As a rule, there are some potential qualities hidden in us that have not yet manifested themselves at the time of acquaintance. A potential partner attracts us, seems interesting, magnetically attractive, for reasons unknown. Thus, if a woman has hidden strength, she subconsciously chooses a weak man, without even knowing it. At the stage of acquaintance, he may seem to her charmingly gentle, sensitive, caring, sensitive, and she will be captivated by this. While to a potentially weak man such a woman will seem delightfully whole, inaccessible and simply an Ideal. And when ideals suddenly become accessible to each other and a family is created, then precisely those traits that attracted people begin to irritate and enrage. And women wonder why they themselves made such a choice of partner? But precisely because they were initially attracted by the gentleness and loyalty on the part of the potential husband. And it was nice to see admiration in his eyes.
If a woman nags and expresses aggression
The psychology of men is such that the more a woman shows aggression, strength, pressure, the less he himself begins to show these qualities. But a woman is trying to do just the opposite - so that her man becomes stronger and more courageous! But in the end, she only feels more of a desire to despise the man, a sense of rightness and a desire to humiliate him. Yes, she feels superior and right, but for some reason this does not bring satisfaction. Because that's not what she really wants! Any woman, even the strongest, dreams of seeing a strong man next to her! And, dreaming of a strong partner, a woman cannot be feminine and weak in such a situation, and, certainly, is not ready to show understanding for a man’s weaknesses. A woman herself cannot afford weakness, she does not accept it in herself. Why does this happen? Of course, everything goes back to her childhood. This means that as a child she was not allowed to be weak and had excessive demands. Now she cannot openly show her weakness in front of a man. Essentially, weakness in a man irritates her because she does not accept her weakness and rejects it. But even in the case when a woman can, in the depths of her soul, accept her weakness and submissiveness to a man, she still does not find the strength to accept a man’s weakness, if only because it is contrary to social norms.
History of generations
So, as we found out, one of the reasons that a man is weak is the presence of a strong woman next to him, who becomes even stronger from his presence. But is there another reason, a deeper one? It turns out yes! All this stretches from an earlier time and stems from the stories of the family, reinforced by more than one generation, traumatized by the historical realities of our post-Soviet space. Our ancestors suffered through wars and massacres, and now we are paying for it. In the old days, many families, due to wars, were left without a male breadwinner, without a father, without a husband, without support in a man. And in order to survive and feed their children, women had no choice but to replace the role of the deceased breadwinner in the family. And this female trauma is passed down through the family, passing from one generation to another. Women are accustomed to relying only on themselves, carrying a burden that is exorbitant for women’s shoulders, not even having the strength to grieve for the loss of their man, drowning out all their feminine weaknesses and feelings.
The reason for a man’s weakness is the strong woman nearby that suppresses his masculinity and the consequences of historical tragedies.
Women stopped paying attention to both their own state of mind and the state of mind of their children. The main task of women was to survive, and often this could only be done by gritting their teeth and forgetting about the needs of the soul. Women have become colder, tougher and much stronger, moving further and further away from the image of a fragile and feminine, weak, beautiful woman.
Children who grew up in such families absorbed similar role models and, growing up, copied them simply subconsciously, without even being able to know about normal behavior patterns. Thus, a generation grew up without the slightest idea of the natural role of a man as a breadwinner and supporter in the family. And thus men were simply forced out of families. This was also passed down from generation to generation. And so women became accustomed to shouldering not only women’s, but also men’s responsibilities, while men found themselves restless, not understanding how to apply themselves. It was as if the man had nothing left to do, and he found himself left behind.
Moreover, the tragic history of generations also contributed to the fact that a woman’s suppressed, unsuffering longing for a lost man created in her soul a phantom of an inaccessible male ideal image. And the more a woman dreams of an ideal prince, idealizing him, the more she devalues the man who is next to her. So what to do with all this?
How to become strong: tips for men
If a weak and a strong man compete on some issues, in 99% of cases the winner will be the second one. Therefore, representatives of the first category immediately need to change something in themselves. To become strong, you should listen to these recommendations:
- Change your lifestyle. The transformation should start with changes in appearance, daily routine and even diet. Particular attention should be paid to physical activity, which will help develop endurance.
- Learn to make your own decisions. This does not mean that you cannot consult with anyone. But don’t try to shift responsibility for what is happening onto someone else.
- Get over yourself. Having conquered your own weaknesses, you will easily be able to resist even the strongest opponents.
How to understand and conquer a shy man?
- Play with your eyes. Take a quick glance at the man and then look away. You need to wait for the moment when he pays attention to you and also looks at you. Here it is important not to overdo it and not stare at the man with a long, piercing gaze. If your gaze is cursory but eloquent, the man will thaw very quickly.
- Talk about his hobbies and interests. Small talk will be quite appropriate and there is nothing trivial about it. Find out about the other person's interests and gently direct the conversation towards his hobbies. An insecure person feels much more comfortable when talking about things that he knows well. For example: “In your VKontakte profile it is written that you have a black belt in karate. Tell me more about this” or “Your T-shirt has a picture of Queen, I like them too, what album is your favorite?”
- Don't be too pushy and communicate via text messages. It is best to communicate with shy men through instant messengers or social networks. This will give the other person more time to answer your questions and relieve tension. At the same time, you will thus express acceptance of his behavioral characteristics. Examples of such messages: “I liked the meeting yesterday. If you want, we can meet again this week”, “I really liked your calm nature. It seems to me that we complement each other perfectly,” “I hope you had as much fun yesterday as I did.”
- If the choice of place for a date is up to you, choose a relaxed and calm atmosphere
. Where you hang out clearly affects the mood of shy men. Offer the meeting space as calm as possible, but not too intimate, so as not to put the man in an even more awkward position. Location options: exhibitions and galleries, city parks, theater, opera, ballet and cinema. - Don't be afraid to open up
. Your introvert interlocutor should feel comfortable for him. To gain his trust, open up to him. Tell us about your plans for the future, what cuisine you prefer or what movies you like best. This so-called “leap of faith” will encourage the less confident person to reveal something about themselves as well. What can you tell about yourself: “As a child, it was always important for me that...”, “What I am most afraid of is...”, “If today was the last day of my life, I would...” - Don't be too harsh. Many men value confidence and strong statements in women, but this is not the case for timid men. In the company of such ladies, they feel limited due to excessive initiative and harsh statements, as a result of which they close themselves off even more. Phrases for first contact with a shy man: “I didn’t introduce myself? We've seen each other so many times, but I don't even know your name. My name is..., what about you?”, “Today is my first time at the opera. And you?”, “Sorry, I saw Jo Nesbø’s new book in your hands. Can you recommend this author?”
- Don't rush things and give it time. First date
,
second date
,
first kiss
, declaration of love, moving to your loved one - and all this in just two months. Not a bad deal, right? But not with shy men. They need more time to get close to a woman. Take small steps towards him and be careful. Give him space and time to open up to you and be patient.
So, let's summarize everything that has been said above and once again briefly go over the signals that indicate the sympathy of a modest man:
- Your eyes meet again and again.
- He blushes quickly while talking to you.
- Constantly tugs at hair or clothing.
- Tries to show nonchalance by putting his hands in his pockets.
What conclusion can be drawn from this? Shy men show their interest calmly and at some point it may seem to you that he is indifferent to you. It is important here to be able to identify real interest and not confuse it with outright indifference. If you want to understand such a man, do not forget to pay attention to small signals. Your body language will tell you the most about your attitude. You should not draw conclusions ahead of time and think that such a man does not have a strong character. Without getting to know your interlocutor well enough, it is difficult to understand what causes certain features of his behavior. Don't label yourself ahead of time and try to understand the man.
If you want to give such a man confidence, then give him enough time and space so that he can feel comfortable. Create a relaxed, but not too intimate atmosphere for him. Communicate with short breaks and don't be afraid to open up to him. Yes, you may need a lot of effort to give a man confidence. But when your efforts work and you receive reciprocity, you will understand that it was all worth it.
From weakling to loser one step
A man’s weakness extends to all areas of his life. This is why such people often become real losers. This is manifested in the following characteristics:
- Feels sorry for himself. Instead of struggling with failures, a man actively looks for excuses.
- Constantly points a woman “in her place.” This is a kind of self-affirmation.
- Inability to handle money. The man does not have the skills to plan his budget. Thus, he spends more than he earns and is constantly in the red.
- Considers life a game. If you can’t play in reality, a person is immersed in a virtual environment.
- Doesn't know how to part with the past. In particular, a man carefully stores old and unnecessary things.
- Exaggerates the seriousness of his own ailments. A minor cold or headache turns into a real tragedy for a man.
A weak man is an aggressive man
A weak man can be identified not only on the basis of known characteristics, but also by comparison with other representatives of the stronger sex. Based on such observations, the same conclusion always suggests itself. For a weak man, the woman is always to blame. Moreover, this may not be a specific person, but a collective image. That is, all representatives of the fair sex. Failures at work? Women are to blame for sticking their noses everywhere and meddling in men's professions. Are your personal relationships not working out? Again, the blame lies with the women who have become corrupt and unfaithful. Even if a man trips or breaks a cup, the blame will be on the women. And if such a man has a wife, she risks becoming an object of aggression. Weak people often assert themselves, suppressing their life partner. There are often cases of assault.
Is there a chance for personal happiness?
If a weak man, what to do about this problem? Is there a chance to find personal happiness? Yes, if you find the right woman who has the “mommy” type. Her parental instinct extends beyond her children. Such a woman feels an inner need to take care of everyone and everything. Naturally, courting and pitying her weak man will not be torture for her, but real pleasure and an opportunity to realize her life purpose. The result is harmonious and warm relationships within the family.
Infantilism and weakness are not the same thing
Men are much more likely to be infantile than women. It’s not for nothing that they say that they remain small children for the rest of their lives (even in old age). This type of person is characterized by the following features:
- modesty and shyness, inability or unwillingness to engage in serious matters;
- silence or inability to express one’s thoughts (and this manifests itself only in a public setting, and not among friends);
- a tendency to tomfoolery (frivolous behavior can be observed in both informal and business settings);
- inability to behave seriously in relationships with the opposite sex (which often irritates girls).
Of course, infantas can be weak. But this is not the rule. Often men who behave like children can muster their will and make a strong-willed decision when circumstances require it.
How does he show interest?
Most often, timid men show their interest calmly. Therefore, it is sometimes difficult for girls to feel that fine line between complete indifference and obvious interest. By the way, the German publication ElitePartner even conducted a study. They realized that 49% of men are lonely because they are shy.
It is a common misconception to think that only women have difficulty opening up to new men. If it seems to you that the interlocutor is ignoring you or is not paying enough attention, it is possible that he is simply embarrassed to start a dialogue with you. But how can you determine that the person in front of you is truly interested in you, and not someone who frankly doesn’t like you? Let's figure it out.
Most often, modest men communicate non-verbally.
Without knowing it, they reveal their emotions through their actions or gestures. Here you need to use all your powers of observation in order to correctly interpret the man’s actions. Pay attention to his facial expressions, gestures and posture. It is body language that will tell about a man’s true feelings or his lack of interest in you.
Pay attention to his gaze. How does he react when your eyes meet? If he takes a quick glance at you and then immediately looks away, it means that he likes you. And if that eye contact is accompanied by a shy smile, you've hit the nail on the head!
If the interlocutor blushes, then this is also a sure sign of his sympathy for you. This happens against our will and the redness of the skin cannot be controlled or hidden. He's probably very excited about your conversation, which is a good sign.
Modest people often fiddle with their clothes or hair. This is a clear sign of sympathy that introverted men show in this way. He is clearly nervous and worried, so he cannot keep his hands still.
Also pay attention to his legs. If he puts his legs very close to each other or crosses his legs, then this indicates his nervousness and uncertainty. He strives to overcome psychological intimacy with you and is openly worried.
Shy men often try to hide their hands in their pockets. Having your hands in your pants or jacket pockets looks casual, but it's actually another clear sign of shyness. In this way, a man tries to protect himself and tries to act carefree and easy (although everything inside shrinks at one glance at you).
Many girls believe that the manifestation of shyness is a clear sign of a man’s weak character. But this is not true at all. We cannot know why a man behaves this way. Perhaps he was raised that way. Do not forget about the various psychological traumas that can lead to such behavior. Do not put a stigma on such a man, but try to understand the nature of his modesty.