Surely each of us has had to face shoulder to shoulder with psychological problems. Every person has periods when he becomes indifferent to everything, does not strive for anything, does not have the slightest desire to do anything. Psychologists call this state of deep indifference apathy. “I don’t want to communicate with anyone,” this phrase can often be heard from a person suffering from this psychotic disorder. What are the causes of apathy, how to recognize it and what advice do psychologists give to cope with this problem?
How dangerous is apathy and what could be the consequences?
One of the forms of the protective reaction of the psyche to stressful situations, lack of sleep, emotional distress, physical or moral exhaustion can be indifference not only to everything around us and what is happening, but also to oneself. This depressed state is characterized by a general loss of strength, so staying in it for a long time is dangerous not only for a person’s mental, but also physical health. With apathy, the risk of “paralysis” of the personality increases: due to focusing exclusively on one’s own problems, the patient ceases to find positive aspects in various situations and ceases to see the beauty of the outside world.
A person suffering from apathy has no desire to communicate with people. It is quite difficult to cope with this type of disorder on your own. The patient will need enormous willpower, dedication and determination. With this problem, most patients turn to psychotherapists. In complicated cases, the patient can completely withdraw from society and fall out of the real world. Apathy is often accompanied by depression, and in the absence of treatment, the most dangerous scenario for the development of these disorders is often a person’s attempts to take his own life, which seems worthless and useless to him.
To understand the reasons why there is no desire to communicate, you need to delve into your subconscious and find there a reflection of specific events in your personal or public life that could cause serious damage to the patient’s psyche. The symptoms of this pathology cannot be confused with a bad mood, which is temporary. When looking at a person with apathy, there is always a feeling as if he does not hear or notice anything around him.
If the patient declares: “I don’t want any communication!”, drastic measures must be taken urgently. Apathy is amenable to medication and psychotherapeutic correction, but every step in the treatment of this condition must be competent and clearly weighed.
The main causes of spiritual emptiness
Like any other disease, the appearance of this disorder was preceded by certain factors. Indifference itself cannot arise out of nowhere, without any reason. Most often, apathy, due to which a person does not want to communicate with anyone, is a consequence of harsh self-criticism and dissatisfaction with oneself, which leads to a refusal to implement important plans.
The actual reasons for the appearance of an indifferent state include stress and emotional turmoil. Progressive apathy is accompanied by laziness, lack of emotions and even neglect of appearance and hygiene. Often, people with mental apathy have untidy and very dirty homes.
Reasons for reluctance to communicate
Even if you are an open, friendly person, there may always come a time when you do not want to communicate. It may take a couple of hours, a day, a week to restore strength; For some, even a month is not enough.
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The reasons for such a desire usually lie on the surface:
- Normal fatigue. At work, you talk and interact with colleagues. At home - with family. In your free time, there will always be acquaintances who want to gossip or chat. Sometimes you need a break from all this.
- The desire to communicate disappears during illness. Every action at this time causes tension, and those around you, even if they understand that you feel bad, expect a smile and an optimistic attitude from you.
- A person can withdraw into himself when faced with financial problems. Until you feel confident again, you are unlikely to be able to chat flirtatiously about drinking coffee at a trendy coffee shop or going to the gym. It is also unlikely that there will be a desire to be with people in general.
- Problems in the family - you hardly want to talk to someone if your husband comes home drunk, your child gets only bad marks, and your mother constantly nags you.
But there are also more serious reasons for reluctance to communicate - apathy, despondency, depression. A severe mental condition can develop due to lack of work, long-term illness, addiction, acts of domestic violence, and tragic situations.
What is social phobia?
Tragic events
It happens that strong shocks occur in our lives. The death of loved ones or relatives, betrayal of a loved one or separation from him, serious injuries and disabilities - all this affects the emotional state. Any incidents that can affect the way of life deprive you of strength and force you to give up.
Apathy and a feeling of helplessness fetter a person in all spheres of his life. To accept what happened and come to your senses, a lot of time must pass after experiencing grief.
Fear of Rejection
Approach a girl and try, maybe, to get to know her? An introvert will not have such thoughts and subsequent actions. He clearly says to himself: “She will say no, no matter what.” And, it seems, what’s so difficult about taking it and approaching it. And even if there is a refusal, what bad will happen? The world will not collapse! But an introvert doesn't think so.
And he will explain everything to himself in any case, forcing him to make sure that it was the right action - it’s simply easier to move away than to risk approaching a girl, hearing “no,” aggravating his emotional state and adding a dose of tension. But it could have happened completely differently: a person would have approached, started getting to know each other, started a conversation, and everything would have been just fine. But fear prevents such actions from being performed.
Emotional tension
A series of stressful situations experienced will not benefit anyone. Almost always, a person becomes indifferent as a result of prolonged psycho-emotional stress, which leads to exhaustion of the nervous system. At risk are people who endlessly doubt themselves, are in depressing feelings, and are worried. Without noticing it, the patient plunges into a depressed state. If he says: “I don’t want to communicate with people!”, most likely, his apathy has reached a critical point.
The turning point in the course of this mental illness is the stage during which the personality is destroyed. Experiencing negative emotions for a long time, a person subconsciously gets used to them. The result is complete dissatisfaction with life and hopelessness. A once confident person now no longer believes in himself and only focuses on problems.
Physical and mental exhaustion
Excessive workloads and lack of pleasure from work often lead to loss of vitality and deep fatigue. Working hard, every person unconsciously wants to receive in return something that will bring him moral satisfaction. If a business in which you had to invest a lot of energy and labor ultimately does not live up to expectations, after physical exhaustion comes moral exhaustion.
“I don’t want to communicate with friends, go to work and think about the future” - this is a typical behavior pattern for patients with apathy. The duration of treatment depends on the person. Therapy will be long and exhausting if he cannot find a suitable stimulus.
Fatigue is the main enemy of a good mood, positive thoughts and self-confidence. If it becomes chronic, burnout is inevitable. Apathy does not occur where there are no compelling reasons for it, so it is extremely important for people prone to psychotic disorders to avoid stressful situations, not allow themselves to get involved in conflicts and emotional distress.
When self-criticism is not beneficial
Usually, close relatives and family members realize that a person needs the help of specialists. More and more often they hear from him that, they say, I’m tired of everything, nothing makes any sense, I don’t even want to communicate with friends and acquaintances. What to do in this situation?
An apathetic disorder could well lead to fantastic expectations. For example, a person has just started doing what he loves, but at the same time he immediately wanted to get high income. Thus, he places too stringent demands on himself and even deprives himself of the right to make mistakes.
But it is known that success can only be achieved through persistent efforts and trial and error. Anyone can make a mistake by making the wrong decision, but only for a psychologically stable person, wrong steps are a reason to try again or try something else. People prone to apathy perceive their own failures as real drama. Perfectionists often suffer from this disorder. They are too self-critical of personal achievements, considering them small and insignificant. This is what prevents a person from feeling completely happy and achieving their goals.
The danger of reluctance to communicate
It happens that the reasons for your refusal to communicate lie in daily problems and are easy to solve. This situation cannot be considered dangerous. Most likely, the next day you yourself will want to be with people again. And the fact that you hid from everyone for a while is essentially a way of psychological protection. You evaluate it as positive and helpful, and you get used to using it.
But let’s say a more serious and deeper problem arises. Unable to solve it, you slowly sink into depression. You use your usual method of defense, fence yourself off from everyone. But a bright tomorrow does not come, you only get worse.
Look at the hackneyed example of what a vicious circle turns out to be: a woman gave birth to a special child. My husband left, my mother helps, but she has her own business. The woman is left alone with her problem. Before maternity leave, she worked, and now she has a good job, so she is financially secure. But for her a special child means pain, fear, and not knowing how to live on. Maybe she even considers him her punishment.
All her acquaintances, friends, colleagues, neighbors will be keenly interested in the child for some time, but she, not being able to survive her negative emotions and powerlessness, will hide from everyone in the usual way. As a result, he will become isolated on his own problem, lose the opportunity to find out how to solve it, and alienate everyone from himself. Thus, she will never know that perhaps there is someone in her circle with a special child with whom she could speak the same language.
Thus, having stopped communicating, a person experiencing deep problems loses his social circle, the ability to interact and the ability to solve them.
Psychological dependence
This is one of the reasons why a person refuses to fight the problem and generally make contact with anyone. The phrase “I don’t want to communicate with people” in psychology can be perceived as a consequence of addictive behavior. Addiction is an obsessive need to perform certain actions. This term is often used not only to define drug, drug, alcohol or gambling addiction.
When talking about addiction, psychologists mean a condition in which a person loses his individuality, ceases to control himself, and has no respect for himself and others.
You can understand that apathy was provoked by addiction by the patient’s behavior and his attitude towards others. All thoughts and desires of an addicted person are aimed only at satisfying their needs (take drugs, smoke a cigarette, see the object of their desire, etc.). A person with an addictive disorder is not able to manage his own life and take responsibility for what is happening.
Health problems as a cause of apathy
It is quite possible that the cause of the sudden isolation and depressive mood is a serious illness. It is not surprising that a person who feels bad says, “I don’t want to communicate with people.” What to do? In most cases, patients undergoing complex treatment are prescribed antidepressants. With a protracted illness, which makes adjustments to the usual way of life, a person becomes emotionally depressed. An illness can deprive you of the strength to enjoy even pleasant little things.
All the energy and resources of the body are spent exclusively on fighting the disease, therefore, to overcome the feeling of helplessness and raise the spirit, the patient is prescribed antidepressants. These medications help relieve fatigue and help maintain interest in life and doing things you love.
Like really
Everything is, in fact, far from simple. Perhaps the introvert himself often evaluates and criticizes. The whole world is hostile to him and, based on this thought, nothing good can be expected from those around him. And when a person is engaged only in discussing, criticizing and evaluating other people, then over time he begins to think that all people do the same. This is the so-called projection illusion. It helps a person not to feel lonely, and thanks to it, introverts do not crave communication so much. These individuals seem to read minds; they firmly believe that they know what is in the heads of the people around them.
Public lack of demand
Another reason why a person may say: “I don’t want to communicate with anyone!” may be tense relationships among friends, a team, or family. Not wanting to make contact, on a subconscious level he protects himself from non-acceptance of himself by his environment. In psychology, this phenomenon is called “personality dissatisfaction syndrome.” It takes its roots, as a rule, from unsuccessful relationships with management, colleagues, relatives, etc.
If a person often hears critical statements addressed to himself and is forced to be in a state of constant confrontation, sooner or later he ceases to believe in his own rightness, and self-doubt is the first step towards apathy.
What's wrong with introverts
The first reason we don't understand how introverts survive at all is that we don't fully understand how introversion actually works. Some people mistakenly believe that it is no different from shyness, although these two traits reflect fundamentally different states of the human psyche. Shyness is the fear of social judgment, while introversion is how we respond to cues from the environment, including interactions with people. Back in the 1920s, Carl Jung said that an introvert is a person who gets his energy from within himself rather than from interacting with others. He also said that in fact there are no pure introverts and extroverts, otherwise they would have gone crazy long ago, so there is also such a thing as ambiversion - something between extroversion and introversion. But, one way or another, many of us, albeit to varying degrees, belong to one of two types.
Extroverts need a lot of stimulation in order to feel good, while introverts, on the contrary, are more comfortable being alone with themselves
The study also showed that, for example, in the process of communication, as well as in moments of winning, extroverts produce more of the hormone dopamine than introverts. At the same time, the desire to limit contacts does not mean that an introvert will refuse to be part of the team or will not want to do his job, rather the opposite: he will approach what is entrusted to him more responsibly, pay attention to important details and complete the task better than an extrovert. which is often (but not always) dispersed across several tasks at the same time.
The second reason why introverts are misunderstood and even sometimes judged is the belief that creativity and productivity are only possible in workplaces that are tightly clustered. Accordingly, people who find it easier to find solutions and propose ideas when they are calm and alone are perceived as outcasts, and introverted children also become difficult to educate, although they simply do not want to work in a group.
Many teachers describe the ideal student as an extrovert, which is ironic since introverts tend to be well-read and get better grades. One study confirmed that the prefrontal cortex of introverts is thicker than that of extroverts, indicating depth of thinking and a tendency to plan.
According to Susan Cain, introverts also rarely become leaders, which is not good, because thanks to the desire to plan work and life in general, they are less impulsive, which means they are not prone to thoughtless risks and making emotional decisions. Research by Professor Adam Grant of the Wharton Business School found that introverts can be good leaders for proactive, self-motivated workers who don't need to be inspired or motivated to take initiative. An introverted leader can listen carefully and delegate complex, interesting tasks to other employees, while an extrovert is likely to “suffocate” with his presence, activity and unintentional enthusiasm for his own ideas.
How apathy manifests itself: symptoms
“I don’t want to communicate with people” - these depressing and frightening thoughts are familiar to anyone who has encountered apathy. It manifests itself in a very specific way. People who have experienced the hardships of all manifestations of this psychotic disorder know how difficult it is to cope with this problem and learn to find positivity in life again.
A person in a state of apathy has no desire to communicate with people. He practically does not notice what is happening around him, stops thinking even about his usual needs: he forgets to have dinner on time, take a walk in the fresh air, take a shower, refuses to meet with friends, etc. Those around him get the impression that the patient has forgotten how to experience feelings joy and show emotions, it seems that the person has wandered into a dead end and now does not know what to do next, in which direction to take the course.
People suffering from apathy are emotionally indifferent. Most of the time they are in a bad mood, it is impossible to cheer them up, charge them with positive emotions, give them optimism and instill faith in a bright future. If a person does not want to communicate with people, the diagnosis of “apathy” is not made at the first appointment with a specialist. The patient begins to be monitored to determine other symptoms characteristic of this psychotic disorder.
Indifference to everything around you is an absolute sign of apathy. If a person does not cope with his problem over a period of time, a psychotic disorder will begin to affect his overall health. Along with inspiration and vitality, people, for example, lose their appetite. Against the background of emotional depression, the sensitivity of taste and olfactory receptors is suppressed, so even your favorite dishes cease to please. Sometimes patients refuse food altogether.
In any manifestation, apathy forces you to avoid contact with people. “I don’t want communication, I’d rather be alone,” patients say this almost unanimously. It is much easier and more comfortable for a patient to be alone than to spend time with loved ones. Psychologists explain the lack of a sociable mood by saying that people lose moral strength and self-confidence with this diagnosis. A person does not want to communicate with people, because there is simply no energy left for communication. He deliberately minimizes any conversations. Persons in an apathetic state are not able to show initiative and activity when interacting with other people.
Emotional depression not only affects your mood, but also negatively affects your level of performance. Labor productivity drops so much that a person ceases to be confident that he can complete even those tasks that he previously coped with without difficulty. Instead of being cheerful and interested, the patient feels lethargic and drowsy. Makes you feel sleepy even before important meetings, and in your voice you can clearly hear notes of indifference and indifference to what is happening.
Why don’t you want to communicate with anyone, and your favorite activities now don’t bring you pleasure? All patients suffering from apathy come to psychologists with this question. People are also often interested in whether the disorder needs to be treated. Here the answer is obvious: with apathy, every patient needs the help of specialists and the support of those close to them, but to a greater extent, the effectiveness of therapy will depend on whether the person himself realizes that his life is wasted, and he needs urgent treatment.
What to do
A person experiencing apathy feels inner emptiness, mental and physical exhaustion. Anyone who does not want to communicate because of serious problems withdraws into himself and plunges into deep negative experiences.
To get out of this state, you need an integrated approach.
How to shake yourself up
Yes, before you feel able to communicate, laugh, or simply smile at someone, you need to stir yourself up, come to your senses.
For this:
- Challenge yourself every day. Make you go outside, go to the store. Ask questions to sellers, people with whom you intersect once and only for one minute.
- Pay attention to your daily routine. Take time to go to the hairdresser, get a manicure, and do exercises. It makes sense to sign up for yoga. Silence, a friendlier attitude, and the opportunity to lie on a mat during meditation will help you relax and feel new strength.
- Try to eat healthy so that there are vegetables on the table every day. It may sound ordinary, but if you constantly eat light, vitamin-rich salads, it will be easier for you physically. Plus, you will have to figure out how to present them today and tomorrow so that you don’t get tired of everything, and this is already restoring your creative potential.
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- Keep order and cleanliness. Try to make small repairs, decorate the balcony, closet, refrigerator.
- Go for a walk. Don't be afraid of meeting people you know. If they come up to you and want to talk, politely say that you feel bad and don’t have time to talk right now. Believe me, they will understand you.
- Change your job. This is a cardinal step, and it is not always possible to find the strength to take it. But a change in environment really helps many.
- Go on an unconventional vacation. Are you used to relaxing at sea? Go on an architectural tour or to the mountains. You could also consider a gourmet wine tour.
How to build communication after a break
No one expects that you started doing yoga or running, and then you immediately developed a desire to communicate. The process of returning to life and adaptation is long and difficult. Any trauma can return a person to the previous state of apathy or cause deterioration.
Therefore, here are some recommendations:
- Go outside, take a walk, sit in a quiet place, watch the water, the forest, listen to the birds. Communication with nature calms and internally enriches.
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- Chat with strangers about unrelated topics - the weather, dirt on the street, food prices. This will give you the opportunity to hear your speech and the responses of others again.
- Use communication in forums and social networks. However, be careful, the Internet is full of content that can plunge you into deeper depression. Avoid discussing the news.
- Don’t think it’s absurd, but communicating with animals helps you relax. It has been proven that dogs and horses have a special calming energy.
- Try to talk to people who can understand you. These are not necessarily close friends. Maybe a psychologist or a person you know to be honest and good at interacting with others.
- Arrange for yourself an evening in nature with a glass of wine, fruit, dessert. You can be alone, and you can invite one or two people with whom you enjoy.
If you don't want to communicate, don't make important decisions, for example, about marriage, maintaining a marriage by having another child. Drastic steps must be well thought out and conscious. Marriage and a child are not salvation or tools, but your future life.
Self-realization
To get out of apathy and immersion in internal problems, self-realization is important. There is always something you do well that brings you joy and satisfaction.
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