If suddenly a girl stops answering calls or ignores messages on social networks, many men become overly annoying or, on the contrary, refuse to do anything. Psychologists and pickup artists who specialize in interpersonal relationships are ready to share advice on how to talk to a girl if she doesn’t want to talk.
Men usually spend a lot of time thinking and guessing about what happened and why the girl began to behave this way. Although a sober look at what is happening, an analysis of the relationship with the girl and one’s behavior will be enough to ultimately find the reasons why the chosen one stopped communicating with the man. Knowing the reasons, you can find different options to improve the situation.
Think about why the girl stopped communicating as before
If a man knows firmly and confidently that he is not ready to lose a girl after being ignored by her, he definitely needs to carefully think about the reasons and factors because of which she refuses to communicate. Only by being able to objectively evaluate his actions and words spoken will a man be able to find the true reasons for a girl’s behavior. Most often, if a girl stops communicating as before, the following situations may be the reason for this:
- resentment on her part for the man’s inaction and wrong actions;
- manipulation to achieve any goals, a kind of game “understand me without words”;
- lack of interest and the discovery that the girl’s chosen one began to behave completely differently.
Due to the emotionality and fickleness of the fair sex, many men find it extremely difficult to understand women and their behavior. You need to understand that the decision to refuse communication is not made overnight; often this thought has been brewing in the head for quite a long time. Some girls say directly that they are not happy in a relationship, others are inclined to hint, but not all men manage to understand this in a timely manner.
Psychologist's advice
A situation where a relationship with a beloved woman is destroyed before our eyes unsettles even the most self-possessed and strong guy. Often, when trying to correct the situation, men make many mistakes that repel the lady more.
In order not to worsen the situation, psychologists advise men to listen to the following recommendations:
- do not call the girl and stop writing endless messages on the Internet - this behavior is not entirely normal and can alienate your beloved even more;
- do not blame her, trying to relieve yourself of responsibility for what is happening;
- do not pester her friends and relatives with questions about her;
- forget about obsessive displays of attention;
- do not try to evoke pity;
- do not drink alcohol to show her how hard it is for you;
- do not become depressed, try to lead a normal lifestyle;
- do not try to arouse jealousy at the expense of another woman - the risk of losing the girl forever is too great.
Take a time out. Don't throw yourself into the pool headlong. Only a cold mind will help you find the right way out.
It's good when misunderstandings in relationships are resolved quickly. But if there is no communication with your beloved girl for more than three weeks, then you do not need to count on a positive outcome of the meeting. The most a guy can hear is: “Let's be friends.” If you do not want to lose a woman dear to your heart, do not bring the situation to a critical point.
What to do if a girl begins to communicate less?
In a situation where a girl does not want to communicate with her boyfriend, a man does not need to put pressure on her with intrusive questions, excitement and conversations. Due to the emotionality of the weaker sex, they need to be given time to calm down, otherwise the situation of being ignored will continue for a long time. During this period of time there will be an opportunity to analyze your behavior, words and actions that could offend the girl.
What to do at the very beginning
If a girl suddenly stops communicating, the man needs to make sure that she has not simply lost interest in him and the desire to have something in common. There are often cases when young people communicate, try to please each other, and after some time they realize that they are completely unsuitable for each other. If feelings and a desire to preserve the relationship are present, you need to take a break to calm down and think about a plan for further action.
Regardless of the stage of the relationship and feelings between partners, all girls love decisive men who are ready to take responsibility for themselves and for her. In addition, you need to remember that initiative is the primordial prerogative of men, so even if she says that you infuriate her, there is no need to fold your arms and remain inactive. Knowing the reasons for the breakup, you need to change by working on improving yourself, eliminating the shortcomings that could push her away.
Expert opinion
Elena Druzhnikova
Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.
Many men, due to indecision, embarrassment and various prejudices, do not dare to apologize face to face, preferring to do this through SMS messages or correspondence on the Internet. In fact, virtual communication will not be able to convey the range of emotions that comes from the offender to the offended girl. Yes, and she may consider that the man is not serious about her behavior.
Let's move on to action
Knowing the true reasons why the chosen one began to communicate less or completely refuses to maintain contact, a man can decide on a plan of active action. Even if he does not perceive the man’s misdeeds as something serious, the offended girl must be pleasantly surprised with her actions and well-chosen words. First of all, you need to apologize, doing it in person, face to face.
If a girl communicates little, most likely she is tired of words and needs correct and good actions in her direction. You can win someone over with the help of pleasant surprises, small gifts in the form of flowers, sweets, etc. Only by showing that the man sincerely regrets his wrong behavior, because of which the girl stopped communicating without explanation, and also by promising not to repeat this , you can get another chance at a relationship.
Do you know how to get a girl to talk?
Not really
Actions towards a girl should focus not on quality, but rather on quantity. That is, it is better to give her one rose throughout the week with a note apologizing than to give her a bouquet of 7 roses at once and stop acting. You need to be prepared for the fact that she will not forgive immediately and will be capricious for some time; a man can only be patient.
If a girl does not talk to a young guy for no apparent reason, the man does not need to try to find out from her in every possible way what made her behave this way. A face-to-face conversation in calm tones at the level of complete frankness will be enough. Sooner or later, any girl will name the reasons that prompted her to take offense and cold behavior, after which all that remains is to apologize, promising not to repeat such situations.
When attraction expires
Why does attraction disappear?
Many people think that if two people are right for each other, they should have forever to enjoy their love.
I first noticed that attraction had an expiration date in college.
I noticed that the girls in my group, who were constantly looking at me, smiling and flirting, did so for only a short time.
Gradually they noticed my passivity, lost interest in me and switched their attention to other guys.
It all ended with them stopping communicating with me and acting very cold and distant.
At that time, I knew nothing about the laws of seduction, but I clearly understood that this was the result of my behavior.
Inaction on the part of a man leads a woman to despair, she gives up, loses hope and leaves.
But when I began to be active at the first signs of sympathy from a girl, everything began to happen so quickly that I had to completely reconsider my knowledge about sex and relationships.
It seemed like something completely different.
If for my classmates the period of attraction could last several months, then for strangers this period is only a couple of minutes.
You approach a girl on the street, she is interested in you, she likes you - this is the peak of attraction, it’s time to act.
He hesitated - she said that she had to go and left.
At first I tried to find some kind of relationship between all these cases, but I couldn’t find it.
So I did what most guys do - I focused on increasing my self-worth.
Every day I became more attractive.
My life was getting better and better: a respected, prestigious job, trips to exotic places, invitations to exclusive clubs, parties and events.
But it seemed to me that the more valuable a man I became, the faster girls lost interest in me.
And it started to drive me crazy.
I was constantly thinking about how this could be fixed.
Eventually, some pieces of the puzzle began to come together into a single picture.
I learned to talk less and listen more to how girls talk about themselves.
It didn't make much sense at first, but I noticed the fact that women were starting to be more interested in me.
I became a mystery for them that they wanted to solve.
I no longer needed to tell exciting stories about myself, I radiated a cool, indifferent sexuality and girls were turned on by it.
I learned to act quickly.
I also discovered that I was more likely to sleep with a girl on the first date than on the second.
This discovery shocked me.
Just think, I used to not even try to sleep with girls on the first date because I was afraid of scaring them off.
It turns out that it was just the opposite: I lost them only because I didn’t have sex with them right away.
And all because, as it turns out, attraction has an expiration date.
You only have a chance as long as she is at the peak of her interest.
Take the girls while they're horny.
You have very little time for this.
They quickly burn out, and you suddenly become unattractive.
As soon as I realized this, my life changed dramatically for the better.
No more doubts, panic and cowardly thoughts: “I guess I’ll wait a little longer.”
No more internal clock saying, “It’s too early!”
No more inaction during the period of growing desire.
After that I started moving much faster, I skipped steps and cut corners wherever I could and my results skyrocketed.
I never even dreamed of such success before.
And, no matter how excited I was about the pleasant changes happening in my life, I had to understand: “Why is this happening to me? Why women are more willing to go to bed with a man who immediately wants to have sex. Why are we told stories about long courtships from childhood, when in fact we need to act very quickly?”
What to do if a girl doesn’t want to communicate at all?
There are situations when a man cannot understand how to get a girl to talk if she is silent. By asking her a question about what happened and what is the reason for her silence, she can not give up her position and remain ignored. In this case, you need to maintain composure, not give up, and after waiting for some time, repeat the question. The main thing is to be firm and not to throw accusations and reproaches at her.
In fact, girls are inclined to manipulate this type not in order to provoke a man, but only to attract attention. Therefore, by overreacting with a showdown, quarrels and pressure, a man will only lose his face in her eyes and respect. Only by moving away, minding his own business and self-development, will a man show the girl whom she is losing because of her grievances.
It’s not for nothing that they say that the more a man loves a woman, the less she likes him. But in this matter, the main thing is not to overdo it, so that the chosen one does not consider the relationship completely impossible. To show your feelings, you need to alternate distances with rapprochements in order to rekindle her interest.
Reasons why she doesn't write or call first
She doesn't want to seem intrusive
Perhaps this is one of the most common reasons why girls do not write first. Even if you have already made it clear to her in every possible way that you are interested in her, there is a fear in her that she will seem intrusive. In turn, when you send SMS first, she calms down, again and again noting to herself that your interest in her has not disappeared anywhere. As a rule, after this, further dialogue is built quite easily. A girl can develop this behavior on a subconscious level - perhaps she was once rejected by someone, or since childhood she has had an attitude in her head that “decent girls should not run after boys.”
She's afraid of seeming unclaimed
Some girls don't write first because they think that their message will show the guy that they have no fans. Yes, this is such a difficult connection. Some people believe that a potential chosen one should feel a little competition at the initial stage of acquaintance or relationship.
In her understanding it looks like this. She is online, but she is silent - therefore, she is communicating with someone else, which means that she is interesting to someone else. Conclusion: You need to text her if you want her attention. In this case, in fact, there may not be any “other”, but the girl really wants you to be wary of this. This behavior is typical for girls who like to provoke their partner to jealousy.
She's not interested in you
Unfortunately, this outcome is also quite possible. While you think that she is embarrassed to write and is waiting for you to remember about her, the girl simply does not think about you. Not only does she not want to write to you, but she also has no great desire to answer. For this reason, she replies almost every other time, and her messages are not particularly meaningful.
She thinks you're interested in someone else
Perhaps the girl believes that there is a lover in your life, and therefore prefers not to get involved in your relationship and not create problems for you. This situation can happen if you don’t know your interlocutor well and she is not yet very aware of all the details of your personal life. At the same time, on your page on a social network there are photos with another person, or some user actively leaves some likes or comments on your “wall” under your posts.
She doesn't like to communicate online or on the phone.
Perhaps your chosen one is one of those people who use social networks and the phone only to set up a real meeting. It is quite possible that she does not like virtual communication, without eye to eye contact and the like. It is worth noting that few young ladies have this feature, but they still exist.
She has a lot to do
We are talking about a person who has a very busy daily routine. Of course, sometimes she can get distracted and write first, but most often she simply reacts to the messages that come to her. Moreover, she does not do this on purpose - being involved in some business, she really does not record who exactly wrote first, but simply communicates when such an opportunity arises.
How to get a girl to write first?
Often this problem worries fragile couples, when the guy is in love, but the woman maintains the relationship without a spark. The best option is to increase your value in her eyes. A girl never writes to the first man when she is not particularly afraid of his leaving. If your page is extremely poor in other people’s likes and comments, then this clearly hints that you are not yet in much demand. Try to make new acquaintances, post interesting news and pictures more often. Make your personal page popular among women to stir up a hint of jealousy in your beloved.
Many sociable men themselves manage the development of relationships, never missing a moment to call their beloved or send an SMS. For them, the problem of why girls don’t write first practically does not exist. Other guys are terrified to see their own initiative from a woman; incomprehensible silence on the other end of the “line” often leads to irritation or attacks of jealousy that can split a delicate connection. It is better to understand the issue without delay, without waiting for a crisis to occur.
What to do if you piss her off?
When wondering how to get a silent girl to talk, a guy may not immediately detect moments of irritation and anger on her part. In this case, you need to talk frankly with the girl about what happened in the relationship that caused negative emotions. Perhaps she began to communicate less banally due to a loss of interest in her partner, who relaxed and began to behave banally.
It’s easy to be interesting to a girl; there are several ways to develop yourself:
- playing sports and improving your physical fitness;
- reading useful books on self-development;
- passion for new activities;
- increasing the level of qualifications;
- career growth;
- achieving new goals and increasing earnings.
Sooner or later, the girl herself will notice such positive changes in a man, realizing that she has lost a worthy man. It is precisely such purposeful and successful men who win recognition, interest and respect among the fairer sex . All that remains is for the man himself to figure out whether he needs a girl, whether he still has the same feelings for her, so as not to give a chance and vain hope without prospects for the future.
Destructive power struggle
Remember the couples who constantly compete with each other.
Now think about how often you quarrel with your girlfriend and what is the reason for these quarrels.
Please note the following.
Do you fight about money, about leaving the lights on at night, about who gets to walk the dog, about the way she dresses, or about your bad manners?
Relationships are a mutual exchange of energy.
And when positive emotions prevail, more positivity comes.
I want to do something for you, considering how much you support me.
On the other hand, negative feedback can kill a relationship.
If you're not going to do anything for me, why should I go out of my way for you?
Boredom can be a defensive reaction in such competitive relationships.
Your mind doesn't want to deal with anger, resentment, disappointment, so you block these emotions and feel bored.
This can go on for years.
Unfortunately, boredom can also creep into your sex life.
The surge of new passion subsides, and you begin to study her body.
Making love is about enjoying your partner, and not just about idealizing a new sexual experience.
Since sex and power are two very strong and significant concepts, power struggles can cause great harm to your intimate life.
It's impossible to relax and enjoy intimacy if you're constantly competing for dominance.
Will you be able to hug her tenderly if you are angry, or will you immediately after coitus roll over on your side and fall asleep, and she will think until the morning that you have stopped loving her.
Many couples break up due to unsaid things.
Both people carry anger within them that turns into frustration and boredom.
Relationships are like living beings that are born, nourished by something, grow, and become stronger.
And if you don't grow together, you will definitely wither.
How can a man properly ignore a woman he likes?
It is important to understand that women usually use ignoring specifically for something; it has a specific goal that your interlocutor wants to achieve. So what are the options? Perhaps this is how a woman expresses resentment, wants revenge, or hopes to end your relationship. As soon as you fully understand why a woman behaves this way, something else will become clear to you - how to act in such a difficult matter.
However, do not rule out the possibility that this person is not only ignoring you. Some women get tired of problems or uncertainty in their personal lives, after which they decide to take some kind of break - that is, to distance themselves from any personal contacts with men. In this case, you should act delicately, show your chosen one that you are ready to wait and understand the reasons for her fears.
If we are talking about an adult woman, then it is possible that she is tired of any correspondence and “virtual love”. Try to transfer your courtship into real life, and act like that. The older a woman is, the less time she usually wants to spend on correspondence, which in many cases simply ends in nothing. Show your readiness for a real relationship.
