What to talk about on a first date with a man

Hi Hi!

First of all, I want to swear dirty! I wrote an article for an hour and a half and pressed the wrong damn button and deleted everything. Damn... I'll go make myself some green tea and start all over again. If I accidentally delete the article again, my keyboard will probably fly desperately out the window!

OK…

I won’t reveal anything new if I say that most people don’t have a clear system in their heads and a clear understanding of what to talk about on a date !

Most topics of conversation on a date are as banal and boring as the gray lamppost outside my window. Tell us something about yourself, talk about work, study, all this is BORING! And most dates are simply erased from memory as an unnecessary element and you simply waste your time. There is no clear system in your head, no KNOWLEDGE.

But after this article you will be remembered for a long time. You will play in the man's thinking, he will drive himself crazy, and you will enjoy the simplicity of this system.

If the statistics do not lie to me, then the majority of my blog readers are girls. Therefore, I adapt this article to women’s thinking, and let the guys continue to mess up.

So, then our topic today is: what to talk about with a man on a date? Well, hang in there, guys, the information has gone online!

Let me start with the fact that you need to not only rely on communication and topics of conversation, but also periodically blow the minds of the male sex on dates. Falls in love cool. Tested hundreds of times!

If you think that I’m now going to start talking about what you need to talk about on a date about a man, about himself, in order to get closer to him, then you are very mistaken. It doesn't work and has never worked. Then I'll explain why.

Now I will build a system of communication on a date, I will write an article based on emotions, and in the end I will build a system in your head that will explode men's thoughts and men's hearts. If my thoughts seem a little scattered to you, it’s okay, at the end of the article everything will fall into place.

Any activity should have a clear basis and the date should have goals. Necessarily!

For any girl, the goal of a date comes down to one thing. This is about relationships. Since you came to him on a date, since you were getting ready, putting on makeup, twirling in front of the mirror, it means it’s not just like that. Your body wants a relationship with a man because that is your biological destiny.

You want a relationship, and then everything else. Then sex, candy and entertainment. All this has a purpose - a relationship with this man. This is exactly the point. Even if you have a husband and you go to your lover, you not only have sex, you first of all have a relationship, because this is your credo in this monkey world.

And a man’s goal is sex with you. Since he came on a date, it means he wants you, so he looks at your lips. Yes!

99% of men don't even realize that they are looking at the lips of the girl they want. They will not be able to answer or even imagine what kind of lips a mother or friend or neighbor’s grandmother has, but what kind of lips the girl he wants has - he clearly imagines them. Because his eyes are unconsciously on his lips thousands of times.

Look carefully behind his pupils and you will understand everything yourself.

A man won't go on a date if he doesn't want a girl. NEVER! He will find thousands of reasons, but he will not come. I know what I’m writing about, because I’ve never gone on a date with a girl I didn’t want, and vice versa - if I wanted a girl, then I really went on a date, and we have the same nature.

This is normal and natural. And men's thoughts will look for ways to put you to bed, enter you and possess you.

It’s his nature, his physiology wants you, but his mind says - hey, guy, don’t rush, otherwise you’ll ruin everything and he’s forced to play your game, he must also want a relationship and he plays.

But since this is your game, you must steer the process.

The goals are defined, now you need to build a communication structure.

You want a relationship, he wants sex. What to talk about? First you need to know him a little.

Rules of communication

A date can be an absolute disaster if you act unnaturally and try to pass off as someone else. The first encounter is like an onion: you need to peel one layer at a time. Gently allow your partner to express himself and avoid asking very personal questions. Basic rules of communication on a first date:

Be natural and feminine, do not embellish your life. Try to answer your interlocutor's questions honestly in order to win him over. If a man likes something and you don’t, for example, some activity, then you don’t need to lie and say that you like it too, so that he will like it. It is important to always be sincere. Otherwise, he can easily catch you in a lie, and this can ruin his attitude towards you.
If possible, look the man in the eyes as much as possible and demonstrate your interest. Don’t be afraid to show your facial expressions and sincere laughter, then he will understand that you are listening to him carefully.
Show your interest when a guy talks about his life. Ask leading questions and express your opinion.
Give the initiative to your partner; he should feel like a leader. Let him choose a topic to start a conversation, and you support him and do not be passive.
Try to remember what your interlocutor tells you. You will thank yourself for this when your relationship develops and new meetings follow.
Find out more about a man's interests and hobbies to get to know the basics of a particular topic.
Avoid long pauses in your conversation. Try to always maintain communication, ask questions and share interesting experiences.

What to say to your beloved man for the highest achievements and success

And no one will be better off because of this, because if a person begins to develop like this in some team, it means he has found himself in the right place - a seed has sprouted there. But then the sprout, when it has appeared, it needs to be supported, it needs to be watered, encouraged.

And maybe at first his experiments give results that are still unclear how to adapt. But what he will come to can easily turn out to be something that no one has done before.

He is interested, he tries to be even better at it. For example, in the book he found some useful method that no one had ever used at work. But he took it and applied it. And we got some results that the customer even accepted and paid for. In this case, this is still not bad for the entire organization. This deserves to be at least praised.

And if it is more difficult for men to confirm each other, because they are competitors, this is inherent in nature. But a woman can, in this regard, be a connecting link in a team, and really create a microclimate in which the whole gang is behind her. Although she may not have some awesome position. Such a real and vital soul of the team.

Best topics to talk about

An exciting first meeting can unsettle you and make you forget about everything in the world. Use these "safe" topics to avoid silence:

latest events and news;
books and films;
music;
hobby;
sport;
animals.

If your date is in a restaurant, talk about taste preferences. Mention your goals and aspirations, plans for the future. It will be useful to remember funny life stories and anecdotes. Talk about travel and places you dream of visiting.

Topics in relationship development

As relationships develop, you can move on to personal topics, ask about relatives, feelings in the family, share your experiences and difficulties, for example, when communicating with parents. When contact continues for a long time, people begin to plan a future together.

They discuss plans for life, starting small:

Where to spend your holidays;
Where to go for the weekend;
When to go to your parents together.

Later, issues related to living together are resolved, for example, moving to one of the partners or buying an apartment together. It is better to raise such topics when the relationship lasts more than a year. The main thing in communication is not to put pressure and give the man the right to choose. If he is not ready for the next step, wait, especially if the person is dear.

What questions to ask?

Let's imagine that your meeting is taking place in a cafe or restaurant. I've decided to break down our hypothetical first date into five steps and offer a series of questions to help you manage your anxiety and keep the conversation going.

First ten minutes

Questions in the first ten minutes are key to starting a conversation in a meeting. They are asked after you have said hello and settled down somewhere comfortable. They set the tone for your date and give you a chance to chat more casually. Here are some of the options:

How was your day?
How did you get here?
What is your mood?

After ordering food and drink

Now that the awkwardness of the first minutes of the meeting has passed, it’s time to give the conversation a more specific character. Questions at this stage should be an equal mix of inquisitive and casual to provide an opportunity to better understand the man. Do you have many common interests, what is he interested in, how does he spend his weekends?

What do you like to do outside of work (school)?
Do you like to watch movies or TV series? Which?
What kind of music do you listen to?
Have you traveled recently?
Have you read any good books recently?

Personal questions

It's time to move on to more personal matters, making sure you're both ready for it. Some of these questions may seem stupid at first, but they will become very useful later on. You will be able to get to know your interlocutor better, understand whether he is right for you and whether he is an interesting person. It is not necessary to use all the questions; choose those that are suitable specifically for you and your partner:

What are you doing? Do you like your work or study? What do you want to do next?
Do you often spend time with your family?
Do you have borthers and sisters?
Can you easily wake up in the morning or do you like to sleep longer?
Do you like to cook? What works best?
What are your 3 main values in life (family, work, health, creativity, etc.)?
Do you have a large group of acquaintances or a couple of best friends?
Do you consider yourself a career-oriented person?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
The most vivid impression in life?
What do you value most in a man and a woman?

Summarizing

If you feel like everything went well, don't be afraid to tell him:

Thank you for the invitation, I really enjoyed it.
Such a cozy cafe, you have excellent taste.
The food here is very tasty. Thank you for inviting me to this particular place.
I had a wonderful time! Thank you!

If you did not like the man’s behavior during your meeting, then it is important to inform him about this so that he knows about your feelings and does not do it again. This should only be said in a polite manner:

I consider it a sign of disrespect when a person is late for a meeting with me, opens his hands, allows rudeness, insults, etc. towards me.
I hate it when a man often answers his phone during a date.

A normal man will take this well and will no longer allow this kind of attitude towards you. If he does not care about your feelings and continues to behave unworthily, then in this case it is better to immediately leave the company of such a person and not communicate with him anymore.

Parting

The first date doesn't have to be long. It is better to spend 1-1.5 hours on it. There is no need to completely open up to a man at the first meeting. Then he will be more willing to ask you out on a second date to get to know you better.

Psychologist's advice

When communication is just starting, follow the simple advice of psychologists:

Try to talk freely, because feeling constrained interferes with open dialogue.
Let's talk to the guy, but don't forget to talk about yourself.
Lighten the mood with jokes.
Don't get distracted while talking.
Try to understand your interlocutor.
Be attentive to his words.
During your interlocutor's monologues, gently interrupt him with insignificant phrases so that he understands that he is being listened to.
Don't try to give advice unless asked.
Learn to put an end to the conversation. Endless conversations are exhausting. Such communication does not bring pleasure.

Now you have 150 topics in stock that you can talk about with a guy by correspondence, by phone or live. It is not necessary to use all the points. Select only those that you think will be most interesting to your interlocutor. Don't forget about yourself. When a girl always takes the initiative and goes out of her way to liven up communication, but does not feel any return, it is better not to waste your time on this guy. The situation here is the same as with a serious relationship - both must give their all.

Taboo topics

Four things you should never talk about on the first date: politics, religion, ex-relationships and the man's income. Too serious and fast, don't rush!
Don't ask your partner why he is silent or what he is thinking. You won’t get an honest answer from him, but you will put him in an awkward position and force him to lie.
You may not have had a great day, but keep your mouth shut. Don’t whine or complain about your life, don’t talk about problems, otherwise the man will get bored and he definitely won’t want to listen to complaints for the rest of his life.
Try not to brag about your achievements or talk about financial opportunities. The gentleman may be embarrassed and decide that your standards are too high. Or with this behavior you can attract a gigolo.
Also, don’t get ahead of yourself and talk about how you want to get married as soon as possible. Men are afraid of responsibility and fast development of relationships by nature, so don't scare him.
A large number of compliments can create the impression that you are not sincere and are pursuing certain goals.
Excessive flirting will make you an easily accessible and desperate lady in the eyes of a guy.
Don't ask provocative questions or be rude to your man. Do not demonstrate your egocentrism, so as not to seem like a narcissistic girl.

Talk to a man about what HE WANTS.

And he wants you. Every man’s most cherished dream is sex with a stranger. This boosts his ego, this shows that he is a man, this excites him in a brutal, animal way...

On a date, he wants you, thinks about it, looking at your legs and lips so that you don’t notice. His dream at the physiological level is to have sex with you as soon as possible, and his mind listens to some conversations about work, girlfriends and affairs. And then you tear his thinking to pieces.

You say you want him, but there is a damn reason that is not allowing you to do it right now.

All. The man froze. You gave him hope for sex and immediately hid it. She didn’t remove it, but hid it.

Nobody does this, everyone acts in a standard and predictable way, and I’m already pretty tired of it. You don't give yourself to him, you just open the curtain.

Him: Why are you silent? Answer of the narrow-minded girl: What can I say? You: I imagine us having sex. By the way, tell me how you went to Poland.

Him: There’s a problem at work, the boss called yesterday and said that... You: Wait a minute! I think I want you right here and now, but today I can’t. Come and see me out.

Him: What are you thinking about? Boring answer: Yes, yes, about nothing... You: about how you have me on this table. Okay, time to go.

Or just tell him that you want him. Like a bolt from the blue and just change the topic or fly away and leave him alone with his thoughts. Believe me, you will become his idea. And men fall in love with the idea quickly.

It works hard. You are essentially ruining him by letting him smell the dessert, revealing his erotic fantasies. He will have you in his imagination after the date, he will think about you, it will trigger emotions in him, he will simply remember you for a very long time. And he will long to meet again and again.

Once upon a time, I was talking to a girl on a date. She told me that she wanted me and imagined me squeezing her in a tight hug, and then she just left the topic. I couldn't believe my ears! This has never happened on any date, with any girl.

I thought she was joking, but it began to seem to me that she was really excited, but she so skillfully avoided the topic that I got a reset and after the date I thought about her for a very long time. Pure psychology!

Go ahead.

Rules for a successful first date

Appearance . You should look beautiful and natural, do not choose flashy outfits with large necklines and short skirt lengths. Conceal minor facial imperfections, do not overdo it with rich makeup.
Don't drink alcohol . The only exception may be a glass of wine. But at the same time, you need to understand how your body reacts to alcohol. A glass of wine is enough for one girl to get drunk and start talking nonsense. On the other hand, on the contrary, a small amount of alcohol helps you relax and begin to behave more confidently during a conversation.
Don't use swear words . It will be very ugly if a sweet, well-groomed girl uses foul language. You are not a shoemaker! Be modest and laugh with restraint. Good manners and modesty are always appreciated by the opposite sex.
Ask open-ended questions . A man will immediately understand that you are interested in him and will give detailed answers. And they will show you the true picture and help you decide whether this guy is right for you or not.
Conversation on neutral topics . Do not touch on “sensitive” topics, take a keen interest in the man’s hobbies and life. Try to find common interests, tell us about your hobby. Do not interrupt the gentleman, do not allow him to remain silent for a long time, asking leading questions.

Why is it important to have conversations with a guy?

Conversations are the engine of relationships. Without speech, we would not be able to establish contact, and only through personal conversations, through pleasant communication alone with a new guy or with a loved one, can we truly get to know each other. Then joint experience will be added to the methods of rapprochement, but at first everything will be decided by conversations. It is important to understand whether you like the way your chosen one speaks and whether you like his stories. It is through conversations that you find out his views, find something in common and something that is not at all like you.

Before a conversation, it can be difficult to draw any conclusions about a person and whether you would want to communicate with him. And vice versa: a conversation can radically change the initial impression. This is how guys who don't seem attractive at first can charm you within a few minutes of conversation. And interesting-looking men turn out to be not the kind of people with whom it is pleasant and interesting to talk.

A simple conversation while walking is one of the most convenient ways to obtain information. Both verbally and nonverbally. Express emotions and feelings to a person and receive the same from him, establish contact.

Being the main form of communication, conversation has become a convenient tool for anything:

receiving pleasant sensations,
new information,
refuting or confirming conjectures,
manipulations in relationships and changing them.

For romantic relationships, this is the simplest and therefore mandatory way to develop the following qualities:

familiarity and intimacy
show interest,
do nicely
take care,
satisfy each other's needs.

How to behave on the first date if you want there to be a second? Now we'll tell you!

Still from the film “Casino Royale”

Nobody knows how your date with a new girl will end today - you may never meet again, or you may have a bunch of children after a while. But regardless of the outcome, you'll likely want to make a good impression on her. Did you guess it?

If so, then before “hour X” you have a thousand questions: how to choose the right meeting place, what to say about yourself, what questions to ask her and how to hint that you don’t mind continuing your acquaintance?

Don't panic! We are ready to “equip” you before this important event with tips that work.

Topic 7. Musical tastes.

Nowadays it’s hard to imagine a person who doesn’t love music. Does a guy come on a first date and when we meet, he pulls his headphones out of his ears? Smile cheerfully and ask what your boyfriend is listening to. Great conversation starter, right?

It's a great idea to talk to your guy about more than just his musical preferences on the first date:

concerts;
music festivals;
apartments and music evenings;
the musical experience of the guy you're on your first date with.
your own musical experience (tell him about the guitar that's collecting dust in the corner of your room!)

These are all great topics to talk to a guy about, not just for show, but to really evaluate how compatible you and he are for each other. It’s no secret that a fan of Kendrick Lamar is unlikely to share the tastes of a fan of rapper Face.