Psychology of femininity: how to achieve femininity and not let the masculine take over

Girl's character traits that are attractive to guys: Pixabay Girls often believe that external beauty is the main quality that attracts guys. However, when building relationships, men put their partner’s character first. Every guy has his own preferences, but some girlish traits always attract male attention and cause admiration among the stronger sex.

What character traits do guys like in girls? Among the many girlish virtues, the stronger sex likes: the ability to forgive; self-esteem; listening skills; presence of own interests; sense of humor.

About femininity

Femininity is what distinguishes a woman from a man. This is external and internal softness and warmth that attracts the strong half of humanity.

In psychology, this concept includes four levels:

• physical;
• emotional;
• intellectual;
• spiritual.

To become a real woman, you need to achieve femininity at all levels.

Physical layer

Being feminine on a physical level is the easiest way.

This includes the image of a lady:

1. The outfit emphasizes the figure, but is not vulgar, emphasizes the advantages and hides the flaws. Don't blindly follow fashion. Fashionable does not mean feminine.
2. The skin is clean, soft, well-groomed.
3. Hair is smooth, silky, neatly styled.
4. Nails are neatly trimmed and have smooth edges.
5. Accessories - complement the image and suit the style.
6. Shoes are clean, treated with cream. Not only stiletto heels are feminine, but also ballet flats and low-heeled shoes.
7. The gait is light, smooth, mannered and flirtatious, without unnecessary haste or fuss. There should be grace and elegance in movements.
8. Speech. Voice timbre, intonation, words used, and grammatical correctness are important.

Another component of the physical level is the ability to create space around yourself. Femininity is the ability, with the help of little things, to create such an atmosphere in the house so that the husband and children want to return faster from work or school.

Emotional level

Femininity on an emotional level is characterized by how at peace you live with yourself and how you treat other people.

Femininity is the ability to:

1. Distinguish between the desires and needs of a loved one. Give him what he needs without the feeling of self-sacrifice.
2. Do good to your loved ones without demanding the same in return.
3. Be able to forgive and not hold grudges for years.
4. Be able to ask for forgiveness and admit when you are wrong. Be sensual and don't be afraid of it.
5. Always accept loved ones as they are. See the inner beauty of a person.
6. Solve problems creatively.
7. Support and inspire loved ones, even if you are not sure that they are right.
8. Thank you, give gifts and receive them. Speak and accept kind words. The skills to give and receive are equally important.

The main quality of the emotional level of femininity is the ability to love and accept love. Experience such strong feelings that your partner has no doubts. He needs to know that you are a person he can rely on in any situation.

Intellectual level

A fool will never be feminine. Good manners, wisdom, education and good manners are integral features of a lady.

Intellectual femininity lies in the ability to:

1. It's appropriate to talk. A feminine woman knows when to answer and when to keep information secret. She understands what to say and to whom.
2. Behave correctly in society. The lady does not ask awkward questions and apologizes if necessary.
3. Transfer responsibility, let others prove themselves.
4. Have a personal opinion and express it tactfully.
5. End the argument in time and compromise. A woman knows that the truth is not born in a dispute.
6. Use knowledge for its intended purpose, and not boast about it.

An intellectually wise woman understands that she cannot know everything. She tries to become better and more educated every day.

Spiritual level

This level of femininity is the hardest to achieve. The woman's religion does not matter. The main thing is to be grateful for your family, home and other blessings.

Spiritual femininity can:

1. Accept the blows of fate with your head held high, realizing that this will make you stronger.
2. Ask the Higher Powers, without being afraid to open your soul to them.
3. Help people around, support them.

There is no such thing as partial femininity. It must be harmonious on all four levels. If a girl proves to others that she is feminine, then she is not. Femininity does not require verbal confirmation.

Crazy Empress4

A type of woman characterized by a hot temper and a constant desire to stand out. It’s hard not to notice such a person, and even harder to silence her.

An eccentric, scandalous and very bright personality attracts calm and balanced men. Such a counterbalance to the hot-tempered character of the young lady.

“Empress” women consider themselves mistresses of their partners, their relatives and friends. They are always aware of all the events in the life of the close circle of their chosen one. In general, it is difficult to imagine an area of ​​a man’s life where a girl would not be noticed.

She is always the soul of the party and the instigator of disputes and conflicts. If the store refuses to issue a return for your purchase, then you can safely take your beloved scandalist with you. She can bring anyone to moral exhaustion, including her boyfriend.

We must pay tribute, she does not deprive her husband or children of attention. A delicious lunch, a clean apartment and an ironed shirt are guaranteed with such a girl. But she also loves to walk no worse than Empress Allegrova. And it’s more likely not a matter of changing partners, but of the broad Russian soul, so that with songs, dances and always with a fight or a fight of dishes.

Is being feminine an innate or acquired quality?

Femininity is a symbiosis of innate and acquired qualities. Every person has a genetically determined temperament. Phlegmatic, choleric, sanguine or melancholic. Who we will be is known even before we are born.

A person acquires character throughout his life through upbringing, the influence of teachers, and classmates. Femininity, being a combination of different character traits, cannot be completely innate. Not only the influence of others plays a role in the formation of a woman.

So, auto-training matters. This is the ability to find the best in yourself. Self-confidence, awareness of the feminine principle, acceptance of shortcomings is the first step towards achieving femininity. Before auto-training, take a comfortable position and close your eyes. Take a break from extraneous sounds. It is better if there is no one in the room at all.

Examples:

1. The first option for auto-training is visualization. Imagine peaceful pictures: the ocean, golden sand, quiet forest and birdsong. Once you have been able to relax, visualize the dream and yourself in it. Daily exercises will make a person purposeful, confident that the goal is closer than it seems.
2. The second way is affirmations. These are short positive statements that give a boost of energy for the whole day, increase self-esteem and make a woman more confident in her abilities.

Examples of affirmations for every day:

1. I'm happy to be a woman.
2. I am the embodiment of the goddess Aphrodite.
3. I radiate love, tenderness and lightness.
4. My masculinity only appears in extreme cases when I tell him to.
5. I am a loving and faithful wife.
6. I am a wise and caring mother.
7. The inner woman gives me attractiveness and charm.
8. If I want, I allow myself to be sensual, sexy and open.
9. I enjoy my body and accept it as it is.
10. I love and deserve to be loved.

Before repeating affirmations, do a visualization exercise to help you relax.

Other short statements can be found on the Internet on social networks (VK, Facebook). There are many groups where women share their own affirmations.

Just some advice

“Stand up straight, why are your legs crooked? Don't comb your hair - your face will turn out round. Look at yourself in the mirror before you eat pies...” This is how my friend communicates with her six-year-old daughter. Even for me it’s hard to listen, but what’s it like for a child? The poor girl no longer knows how to get up and sit down - constant comments. A friend explains this by concern. “Who else will tell her the truth and teach her how to behave in order to make a good impression?” But, in my opinion, it is wrong to be so fixated on appearance from childhood. The girl is cute, of normal build. And these constant comments, of course, will ruin her self-esteem. Moreover, the presence of other people does not bother her friend. “These are just tips. When he grows up, he will say thank you.” Anna, Claudia's mother, 5 years old

Behind a lot of comments lies a lack of love. The child does not evoke warm feelings or sincere affection, but it is difficult for parents to admit this to themselves and, of course, impossible to tell others. “He annoys me with his whole appearance” is a phrase that will immediately put a person at the very end of the list of bad parents. Therefore, something acceptable, at least a little justified, is chosen. “I behave strictly with him, control him all the time and advise him so that he becomes a good person and knows how to behave.” Not only the child’s self-esteem, but also his character traits are distorted. Closedness, depression, uncertainty, and social fears appear. All my life I have a low level of aspirations, both in my personal life and in my professional life. Having realized the reasons, a person is later able to correct his self-esteem himself, but this does not always go smoothly and requires a lot of effort. Parents, of course, can prevent this. If they understand themselves, realize their attitude towards the child, they will accept it as it is. One’s own immaturity, forced birth, unfavorable changes associated with the birth of a child - there are many reasons for a lack of love. It's always drama. But you can perceive emotional communication as a necessary part of care and care. Let the tenderness not be so tender - such simulated love, when it comes to parents and children, is still better than none. Moreover, over time, the attitude towards the child may change, and then adults feel very sorry for the lost time.

Feminine girl

Raising a girl to become a feminine woman is hard work. The baby develops femininity by observing her mother, other women, and the behavior of men. The sooner you start raising a young lady, the more feminine qualities you will be able to reveal.

Educational foundations of femininity:

1. Maternal image of femininity. From the age of 5, the child begins to imitate his mother. He copies her appearance, manner of speaking, and treatment of other people.
2. The feeling of fatherly love. Thanks to the respectful and reverent attitude of the father towards the mother and daughter, she begins to trust men. A sense of value appears.
3. Women's hobbies. Parents should support their daughter’s desire to learn dancing, drawing, gymnastics, music, etc.
4. Taking care of yourself and your surroundings. Show your child an example of how to keep order in the room. Teach hygiene of skin, hair, nails.

Sex education is an important aspect of femininity. Don't be afraid of these topics, don't avoid them. Give the girl an answer to where she was born. It is better that she learns this from her parents than from her classmates in a vulgar form.

Understanding moderation is the principle of raising a girl. Persistence will turn the child against the image of femininity.

What a feminine woman she is

To be feminine, you need to look the part and stand out from the crowd. But the most important thing is the internal content. A real woman radiates warmth that attracts the stronger sex.

Character traits typical of a feminine girl

Feminine girl confident in herself. She has a clear understanding that she is a woman. Walks with dignity: lifts his chin, straightens his back, walks easily and naturally. Not because she is proud and arrogant. But because she is confident and accepts herself for who she is.

A feminine woman has no fear of showing emotions. Girls, like children, are able to experience events vividly. A few tears shed or a sudden outburst will not make you less feminine. Consistency in emotions, the ability to process a situation through oneself is what distinguishes the fair sex.

A feminine girl knows exactly what she wants from life and achieves it. She should not cook dinner for her husband if her plans included going to a restaurant. But she knows how to compromise. If the husband does not want to go to the cafe, she agrees to order food at home. Femininity is not equivalent to sacrifice.

A feminine woman is an inspiration for men. Everything - from her unusual appearance to her manner of conversation - makes her stronger half pay attention to her. She carries herself easily and naturally.

A feminine woman combines a keeper of the hearth and a passionate lover. She knows how to quickly create comfort in the house without burdening herself and those around her. Behind closed doors, she is sensual, sexy, pleasures her man and knows what she wants to get from him.

Inner qualities characteristic of a feminine lady:

• tenderness;
• caring;
• self confidence;
• patience;
• sincerity;
• determination;
• emotionality;
• openness;
• communication skills;
• compassion.

A feminine woman, what is she like? The answer is simple: the combination of caring for others and self-confidence, patience and determination is important.

Internal qualities that reduce femininity

Every person has traits that move him away from the ideal. So it is with femininity.

There are character traits that displace the feminine principle:

• excessive diligence;
• excessive care;
• hyperactivity;
• fussiness;
• demonstrativeness;
• excessive display of intelligence;
• aggressiveness.

If a woman tries too hard, goes out of her way to make something happen, she gradually loses her feminine side. Inflated demands on oneself are a consequence of a lack of attention and praise from parents in childhood. Over time, excessive demands are transferred to others (husband, child).

Being a mother not only to your child, but also to your partner, is not a sign of femininity. Excessive caring repels the husband. Motherly love is not the feeling that a man should experience for the lady in his life.

Excessive fussiness reduces the feminine principle. A woman who constantly runs and does not sit idle is not feminine for a man. Such ladies scare away young men on a subconscious level.

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

Excessive demonstrativeness in appearance and behavior does not allow others to see whether the girl has the real thing. The inner quality of a lady is naturalness. She is not afraid to show the real herself. But deep experiences are revealed only to those closest to you.

Excessive display of intelligence alienates others. The use of long terms and unclear definitions is a characteristic of pseudo-intellectuals, but not smart people.

Aggression and rudeness are the main qualities that destroy the feminine principle. A rude girl who uses swear words is not feminine. The manner of speaking loudly is a manifestation of aggressiveness.

Appearance Features

Appearance is an element of femininity. We are not talking about expensive clothes and stilettos. The main thing for a girl is to look well-groomed. Unpainted nails look beautiful if they are neatly trimmed and filed. You don't have to have an elaborate hairstyle to feel like a woman. Washed and neatly blow-dried hair is a woman’s constant attribute.

A feminine woman dresses in skirts and dresses. They take us back to the 19th century, when ladies did not wear trousers and jeans. Clothes should fit your body, not be too tight or hang loose. A lady will buy ballet flats or pumps at a shoe store, not unisex boots.

A well-groomed girl knows how to hide her flaws with light makeup. A feminine woman does not wear bright shadows or draw long arrows. Nude makeup and light contouring emphasize the dignity of the face without vulgarity.

First beauty

There are portraits that will remain in human history even after hundreds of years. British actress Audrey Hepburn is considered one of the most beautiful women. Millions of ladies dreamed of such a thin and fragile figure like hers. The description of the girl, who is considered the ideal of a bygone era, is still fascinating. The actress had a small, round face that always had a smile on it. Her dark hair was neatly pulled up and tied into a knot. Under the low forehead, wide but graceful eyebrows are drawn in black arches. The woman lined her large brown eyes with black pencil, which made them even more expressive. Audrey had low cheekbones, a slightly upturned nose and thin lips. When the actress smiled, tiny wrinkles appeared under her eyes. The woman's movements were extremely light and graceful.

Men's opinions about femininity

Fragility, tenderness, affection - femininity through the eyes of different men. These qualities encourage representatives of the stronger sex to protect the lady and be nearby. Be a man.

The appearance of a feminine woman, according to men

Inner qualities are revealed to the stronger sex after contact. From afar, men pay attention to how a girl looks externally.

Features of the appearance of a feminine girl, from the point of view of men:

• well-groomed hair;
• beautiful figure;
• dresses, skirts, shoes;
• neat makeup.

Long hair has been an attribute of women since ancient times. On a subconscious level, men associate thick hair with femininity. Length doesn't really matter now. The main thing is softness and silkiness of the hair.

The concept of a “beautiful” figure is not equivalent to a “model” figure. According to men, a plump lady attracts people if she is not embarrassed by her figure.

Men understand the concept of femininity when a girl has dresses, skirts, and blouses made of translucent fabrics in her wardrobe. Translucent materials are considered vulgar. Men prefer light, flowing materials on girls. They make the figure more airy.

Men consider too bright makeup to be vulgar. They appreciate light makeup with delicate, nude shades.

The man comes closer. He notices the woman's gaze. Eyes are an important part of self-presentation. Nothing will interest a man more than the alluring gaze of the lady opposite him sliding across his face and chin.

Inner qualities of femininity from a man's point of view

For men, the prototype of an ideal girl is a mother. Loving, caring, faithful, selfless - this is what it means to be feminine in the understanding of a man. The main thing is a sense of proportion.

Here are the qualities that representatives of the stronger sex value:

• calm;
• the ability to trust and confide;
• the ability to listen and empathize;
• emotionality.

A man feels calm if he has a relaxed and balanced woman next to him. Impatience, nervousness and irritability repel the stronger sex.

A man is such only next to a lady who allows him to be strong. For men, femininity is the ability to completely trust a partner, without lectures or moralizing.

Young people appreciate girls who can listen. For them, there is no one more desirable than the one who takes care of him, empathizes, and is “infected” by his emotions.

A woman combines the features of an adult and a child. She is the keeper of the hearth, the mistress of the house, and takes care of her partner. But only with her you will laugh from the heart. According to men, this is the most charming quality of a woman.

If a charismatic girl, dressed in a fitted skirt and silk blouse, bursts into ringing laughter, looking sensually into her eyes, a man will say: “She is very, very feminine.”

Tips for Beginners

If you need to make a verbal portrait of a girl, it is best to start with a description of the figure. You can use various phrases for this. For example: “the body is very thin, even translucent”, “moderately well-fed” or “has a plump, dense body”. However, it should be borne in mind that if you are drawing a portrait of a real person, then some comparisons may offend him.

Further, the guy’s description of the girl may concern her facial features. Careful attention should be paid to each part. Additionally, you can outline individual details: moles, dimples, wrinkles. Undoubtedly, a significant part of the portrait should be taken up by outlining the eyes. Here you should indicate not only their size and color, but also talk about their look.

Then you can move on to other external characteristics - this is behavior, gestures and movements. Walking style, special expressions and words, communication skills will also not be superfluous in the portrait.

Describing a girl in English or another foreign language should be done in simple words and short sentences. Such text is easier to write and can be remembered without much effort.

Affectionate and feminine - similarities and differences

Affectionateness is a personality trait. It is characterized by a greater need for tenderness and empathy. Affectionate people experience emotions intensely, sympathize with others, and take other people's problems to heart.

The concept is narrower than femininity. If a woman is feminine, she is affectionate. But an affectionate girl is not necessarily feminine. Femininity includes a lot of qualities. Affectionateness is one of them.

A feminine woman takes care of loved ones, empathizes and has compassion. At the same time, she remembers herself and her aspirations.

Family Values ​​2

Her relationship with her family will tell about her partner’s family values. How do they communicate, do they call each other, do the whole family get together for the holidays. Do they help each other? A close and trusting relationship with her mother speaks of her happy childhood, that her parents were involved in their daughter, were interested in and took part in her life. This means that she will be able to pass on the experience of proper upbringing to her children. Provide your offspring with a strong and friendly family.

When a woman respects her father, does not neglect his advice, and willingly asks for it, she will also respect her man, the father of her children. It will also instill in the heirs love and respect for dad.

It is very important for a man to get to know and communicate with a girl’s family, especially if he is counting on a common future with her. He learns about family traditions and relationships between household members. After all, the girl takes most of this into her family.

Femininity and elegance, common points

Elegance is an important component of femininity. Translated from French, this word means sophistication and grace. The elegant lady successfully combines grace and simplicity.

Inner features of an elegant woman:

• calm;
• relaxation;
• smoothness;
• rigor.

These qualities are not genetically determined. They come with experience, after years of watching other elegant ladies and trying to imitate them. Elegance, like femininity, is characteristic of intelligent and wise women.

20th century femininity

In the 20th century, the feminine and masculine principles, equivalent to power and subordination, were strictly separated. A feminine woman was subordinate to a man, who was considered a leader and patron. Gender roles were clearly separated: the woman was the housewife, the man was the breadwinner.

The image of femininity can be seen in the works of the Silver Age. According to Goethe, femininity rules the world of men. Femininity is the force in which male egoism dissolves. In literature, femininity was equated with a deity, thanks to which harmony and peace are possible.

You melted endlessly in the snow with a song and repeated the early spring in tune. (Alexander Blok)

Types of human temperament

Temperament is the constant characteristics of the individual behavior of a particular person, which are equally manifested in various activities. There are four types whose definitions are:

1. A sanguine person is distinguished by increased mobility, efficiency, pronounced facial emotional manifestations in facial expression, responsiveness, sociability, poise, optimism, cheerful disposition, rapid fatigue from hard work, carelessness.
2. Choleric – sudden changes in mood, short temper, hysteria, quick response, impetuosity, outbursts of anger.
3. Melancholic – anxiety, pessimism, vulnerability, excessive worries about any reason, restraint, self-control, lack of trust in others.
4. Phlegmatic - cold-blooded, low activity, prudence, creates the impression of a wise person, always gets things done.

Human temperaments. 4 types of temperament: choleric, sanguine, melancholic, phlegmatic

Femininity of the XXI century

In the 21st century, the feminine principle becomes more real. A woman is no longer an angel under the protection of a man. She is a self-sufficient person, capable of combining care for others and self-realization.

In the modern world, it is important for a woman to find herself. If a girl goes to work and earns money, this does not make her less feminine. You need to let a man understand that he is important. Even if you know how to tighten screws or rearrange furniture, leave it to your partner.

Femininity of the 21st century is the duality of masculine and feminine principles with the predominance of the latter. Gender roles are not as clear-cut as they were a century ago.

The main thing is to stop thinking that there are bad types and there are good ones.

Still from the movie "Charlie's Angels"

All “not like everyone else,” of course, refuse to believe this, but all of us can really be divided into certain types according to our character and way of life. Then you can believe in anything - whether God has distributed it this way, psychology, the system or the stars, but we can all be classified. What types of women are there? Have you tried to classify them for yourself?

This list will help you, perhaps, learn to understand girls a little better and “recognize” their types, thereby making both them and your life much more comfortable.

The most feminine women of Russia of the 21st century

Russian women are known all over the world for their beauty and charm. Classic Slavic femininity - long, thick, brown hair, light eyes and skin.

Rating of the most feminine women in Russia of the 21st century:

• Valentina Zelyaeva - model;
• Sofia Rudyeva - Miss Russia 2009;
• Irina Shayk - model;
• Ekaterina Guseva - actress;
• Yulia Snigir - actress;
• Maria Alexandrova is an actress.

Everyone can be feminine. The main thing is to work on yourself and accept those shortcomings that cannot be corrected. Being feminine does not mean being perfect. Only a confident lady will be desirable.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

Is the ideal achievable in real life?

The ideal girl described above has only one significant drawback - she does not exist in reality. And there is a very simple explanation for this: in the description of the ideal girl there are many mutually exclusive characteristics. For example, a sociable, cheerful and versatile girl is unlikely to while away her evenings reading a book and abandoning friends to please her beloved, and a self-sufficient and confident lady will not adapt to a man and turn a blind eye to his shortcomings. And nature has not endowed all girls with an ideal appearance.

But despite the fact that it is almost impossible to become ideal from the point of view of men, every girl can still get as close to the ideal as possible: go to the gym every day, carefully monitor her diet, grow her hair, change comfortable jeans and sneakers for dresses and shoes, start being interested in things that are “correct” from a man’s point of view, try to find a dust-free, well-paid job with a standardized work schedule, etc. However, does the girl herself need this?