You've probably heard such an example or even observed two different women in your life. One of them looks brand new, so well-mannered and cultured. But for some reason men avoid her. And another woman doesn’t go for a manicure so often or just files her nails at home, and doesn’t particularly follow fashion. But for some reason men love her. The thing is that femininity is a special feminine energy.
And this is not only the appearance, but, first of all, the internal state. This is why the lives of these two women are so different.
This article is about how to fill yourself with femininity from the inside so that it literally pours out of you.
What is femininity
First, you need to figure out what femininity is. Many people have a misconception, a stereotype that needs to be dispelled.
Many people think that femininity means skirts, frills, painted lips and nails. But this is a superficial judgment. Moreover, it is fundamentally incorrect.
Looking beautiful is, of course, good. But while caring for your outer form, it is difficult to change your inner world. It's much easier to go from the inside. This may sound trivial now, but if you want to change the world, then start with yourself. And not from its outer shell, but from its internal component.
A state is something deep and permanent. And it is impossible to be feminine just from the thought “I will be kind, affectionate and love everyone.” If you repeat this phrase to yourself, absolutely nothing will change. You need deep internal work on yourself.
Femininity is a special feminine energy, and it is what is felt by men and others around us.
When you see a person for the first time and start communicating with him, clothes and appearance, of course, catch your eye. Yes, psychologists and other scientists are right; facial expressions, gestures, voice timbre and intonation certainly influence the impression of a person. But where do they come from?
They are created by energy. It is she who carries all the semantic load. And the person broadcasts it, whether he wants it or not.
And no matter how much you hope to change this energy overnight, nothing will happen. This is done gradually with great patience and difficulty. I don’t want to mislead you and promise that if you wave your magic wand and cast a spell, everything will change in an instant. This will not happen.
If you are used to living in resentment, in self-pity, in hatred, then you will not be able to change your condition once and for all in one second. Yes, glimpses are possible, but they are too short-lived. Your task is to make them last longer.
When people communicate with you, they feel exactly the energy that you emit. Moreover, people, objects and situations similar to the vibrations emanating from you are attracted to you.
If you radiate calm, kindness, acceptance of the world, then it is unlikely that there will be evil people in your environment. They either won't notice you, or you simply won't be affected by their behavior.
And, conversely, if you radiate aggression, you will find yourself surrounded by similar people. Someone will be even angrier than you, someone will feel like a victim and you can take out your cruelty on them.
Therefore, with your energy you also filter the people, events and things that come into your life. And your ideal simply will not be attracted to you until you become ideal yourself. What you are filled with, the world will continue to fill you with.
It turns out to be a vicious circle. But if not you, he controls this circle? It is you who can raise this circle to a higher floor. If you are now on the third or fourth level of a sixteen-story building, then only you decide whether to fly up, go down, or stand still. You press the button.
Religion
The phenomenon of shamanism appeared in the Paleolithic, which gave rise to many organized religions that came after or still survive. Archaeologists are finding evidence that the very first shamans were women. In Korea, for example, women have always been shamans, since they were the connecting link between the world of people and spirits. In the Hindi tradition, a woman is something divine in principle, and everything that comes from a woman comes from God. Shakti, for example, is the goddess of creativity, whose power moves the Universe and provokes change. She is also associated with the name of Prakriti - the material root cause of the Universe. It is thanks to these aspects of femininity that everything in nature exists and functions. The Yoni is a Hindu symbol of creation that is also used in scripture to refer to the female organs.
In Taoism, the concept of “yin” represents the primordial power of a woman, partially present in the male half of yang. Yin is characterized as a slow, soft, accepting, dissolving, cool, wet and passive flow of energy.
Despite the fact that in Christianity God is traditionally described by such concepts as “father”, “king”, “protector”, this does not at all define his gender as male, according to the theologians. According to the classic Catholic catechism, God is neither a woman nor a man, he is a deity. In the book of the prophet Isaiah, God is compared to a mother who feeds a child, gives life and educates, because it was God who gave Israel the birth.
In the Old Testament texts, the concept of “wisdom” appears, which is identified with a woman, called “she” and associated with God, since “Wisdom comes from nothing” (Job 28:12). Wisdom is perceived as the creative power of God and it is with him that it should be identified.
Balancing male and female energy
This may come as a surprise to you. But a person has both male and female energy. And that's okay.
You should not think that if you are a woman, then you should only have feminine energies and feminine qualities. Every person contains both sides.
Remember the yin yang of the Chinese. Dark and light, warm and cold, hard and soft - all in one sign. And they, by the way, are mixed and intertwined with each other. There are two drops in the sign, and each of them contains an element of opposite energy.
This sign contains great wisdom. It reflects the duality of this world, but shows us that everything is one. You have both an inner man and an inner woman.
Let's go a little into stereotypes and remember how society is used to perceiving a woman. Kind, gentle, affectionate, caring, relaxed, beautiful, all so soft and plastic. And how society usually thinks about a man: strong, confident, assertive, reliable, passionate, in some ways even rude, persistent.
Do you feel the difference? And imagine if a woman was such a relaxed, gentle lamb all the time, agreeing to everything. Then the wolf would come and eat her, and she wouldn’t even run away. Because to do something, you need impulse, desire, and these are masculine qualities.
Therefore, you cannot be exclusively in feminine energies. There must be a balance.
If you are a woman, then you have approximately 70% feminine energy and 30% masculine energy. This is an approximate ratio, because how can you measure the amount of energy in a person?
It’s just that about 70% of the time you are relaxed, tender, viscous, and the remaining 30% you are impulsive, impetuous, sometimes even cruel. After all, when a female protects her cubs, she shows aggression and anger. This is necessary and this is normal.
Therefore, please, my dear, when working on yourself, do not go to extremes. Maintain balance. And all these dark sides are normal, and that's you too. Irritability, fatigue, and anger are part of you.
Body alteration
In the distant past, the phenomenon of alteration was also popular - changing the body in order to achieve aesthetic perfection without any medical prescriptions. Basically, they did this precisely in order to emphasize or artificially create the feminine features of the female body. For many centuries in China, a small female foot was considered the standard of beauty and femininity, which is why special lasts were created in order to develop this feminine trait, although walking in such shoes was very difficult and painful. This also includes neck rings, popular in Africa and Asia. They were worn to lengthen the neck, since in the culture of these countries a long neck was considered a necessary attribute of femininity. Of course, in the modern world we can no longer find such traditions dangerous to health, but, nevertheless, we cannot say that beauty standards have completely ceased to determine our behavior and beauty routine.
Femininity is a special feminine energy: signs
Let's talk about how to recognize true femininity. Because all these ideas society has about a woman - kind, gentle, affectionate, caring - are just stereotypes.
Inner relaxation
A woman gives peace, comfort, relaxation. If you are internally tense all the time, thinking about your problems, then what kind of femininity can we talk about? You will only create tension on the outside.
Therefore, you need to learn how to relax well. You need to learn to give rest to both body and mind. I have an article about stopping internal dialogue. This is one of the ways to feel true relaxation, calmness at least for a moment.
Pleasure
Of course, not only a woman, but also a man should enjoy. But for a woman this is especially important. It should be like a filled cup. What can a woman be filled with? Where does this resource energy come from? From enjoying life, the world, everything that surrounds, from enjoying oneself.
Remember the last time you enjoyed petting a kitten and having it purr in response? When was the last time you ate a pear and felt its sweet taste, the juice that flows from it? When was the last time you enjoyed the hugs of your man, the fact that he was near?
Here's an exercise. Remember about pleasure at least 10 times a day. Stop and look around. Any little thing can make you happy. The wind blew in your face - how pleasant, how wonderful it is! This woman has such a beautiful dress, and that man has such an expressive look. What a diverse world! The cat jumped onto the bench.
All this is life. And it is the enjoyment of LIFE that fills you the most.
Adoption
Feminine energy absorbs, envelops, fills. Therefore, there is such an idea about the family that a man went into the world to catch a mammoth. He came home, the woman fed him, gave him something to drink, put him to bed and let him rest. What is happening here at the energy level?
The man went into the world and splashed out his energy, he gave it away. Tired because the internal resource has run out. It needs to be replenished. How? Through pleasure, this is also a resource. And pleasure is a feminine manifestation. Therefore, when a woman is in pleasure herself, she can easily fill a man too. He also feels this state next to her.
Here it is worth immediately stipulating that you should not think that a man cannot recover without a woman. There is a female part in it, and it will fulfill its functions. It’s just that a woman has more of these energies, so it’s easier, faster and more convenient to replenish the resource with her.
Transformation
Feminine energy is transformative, life-giving. And it's not just about having children. Male energy is impulsive, vectorial, it is directed somewhere. And the female is in a state of peace, fullness, enveloping.
That is, a stagnant swamp is truly feminine energy. And a stormy mountain river is truly masculine. And look how destructive this or that type of energy can be. I'm not saying that we don't need swamps and rivers, I'm just giving an example.
What is the best option for us? Calm, quiet wide river. It has clean water and flows smoothly. Ships can sail on it, we can swim. A swamp is stagnation, stagnation, rotten matter. The mountain river is too fast. It can kill, destroy, destroy.
Male energy gives impulse, and female energy creates from this impulse. Therefore, it is the woman who transforms, gives energy and potential for the development and disclosure of this impulse. A man gives a seed, and a woman cultivates it within herself.
If a woman changes herself, then her man next to her also changes. That is why a woman creates a microclimate in the family. It was she who was always responsible for creating comfort in the family. It gives you the opportunity to open up. But it can also nullify any undertaking, any aspiration.
These are the most fundamental signs of femininity.
Lady in communication
During a conversation, you can easily determine that a representative of the fair sex is not in harmony with herself and is reconciling herself to the role of a man. Suppressed femininity almost always manifests itself in a raised tone, rude expressions, obscene language, sarcasticness, etc. In order to understand her nature and accept it, a girl needs to radically rethink her communication skills with different people.
It is no coincidence that femininity through the eyes of men is represented by tenderness and softness of temperament. This does not mean that a girl should not defend her rights, express her wishes or point of view. What adds femininity to a representative of the fair sex is the ability to find a common language with different types of people without being aggressive. It is necessary to have the talent of a diplomat and the ability to lead your opponent to the idea that his thoughts on this or that matter are not entirely correct, and the decisions made may not lead to the expected consequences.
When observing a girl who is aware of her nature, one can immediately notice that she has some kind of worldly wisdom and even knows how to eloquently remain silent when necessary. Such a representative of the fair sex will never interfere in the discussion of topics that are not entirely feminine. She can diligently avoid sharp corners in conversations, even if someone is trying to piss her off or put her in an unfavorable light. Next to a man, such a representative of the fair sex is always weak and does not hesitate to show that she needs support. Thanks to this, he can feel his value and necessity.
The voice of a real woman is soft and quiet, so it caresses the ear. There is no rudeness or harsh intonation, as well as obscene language. A real woman is distinguished by tenderness and kindness. The lady is always ready to listen, sympathize and support if necessary. It is impossible to hear sarcastic words about someone else’s even insignificant misfortune. In communication, the lady behaves very tactfully, delicately, without trying to offend or offend anyone. If you want to figure out how to reveal your femininity, you need to learn to interact with people around you from a soft position, and not loud coercion. This will allow you to further shape your image and bring your inner world to harmony.
The power of feminine energy
We touched on this aspect a little in the previous paragraph. I talked about how feminine energy transforms, fills, and grows something. Therefore, feminine energy can create any world, any reality.
You can attract absolutely any events, things, people to yourself by mastering this power. At the initial stages, it is difficult to consciously create life. You can, of course, resort to visualization and work with beliefs. It will have some effect. It's different for every person. But I would advise starting changes from your inner state. A woman's strength lies in her condition.
A woman, first of all, must be fulfilled herself in order to fill someone else or her life with pleasant, joyful events, desired things. And in order to learn how to use this power, you must first feel it within yourself. Realize it, accept it. That is, you first need to understand yourself within yourself and only then, with the help of this power, begin to change the world around you.
This power will lead you to your true self. To deep enjoyment of life. This will be your core, the starting point from which your entire reality will be built. And the possibilities of this foundation are endless.
With the help of this power you will be able to build harmonious relationships in your family. If you don’t have a family, you will find a worthy man. Strong, confident, whom you can rely on. You can choose wealth, luxury, any house, clothes, appearance.
Appearance
The symbol of femininity is long hair and dresses. You don't have to grow your braids or have elaborate hairstyles. But you should get rid of crew cuts and the like. If there is no inner femininity, such hairstyles will make you look like a man. Soft curls, frivolous curls or straight shoulder-length hair will add charm. You don't have to do your hair every day. But clean and healthy hair is a must.
Flowing dresses or formal skirts will emphasize the femininity of the figure and add mystery. Heels - even low ones - will introduce fragile instability into your gait and visually lengthen your legs.
You should not put too much makeup on your face or drench yourself in perfume. A slight understatement of the smell will make men come closer. It is better not to overuse cosmetics, but to prefer a healthy complexion and the radiance of a snow-white smile.
How to dress feminine
Let's step back a little from the internal and talk about the external form of femininity. Nowadays it is very fashionable to spread the opinion that a woman should wear a skirt. If she wears trousers, then she cannot be feminine a priori.
Many women's trainings contain one of the main conditions: “Change into skirts and dresses, throw out all the shorts from your wardrobe.” This is all nonsense.
We have just spent a long time analyzing the inner state of a woman, how it all affects her and the world.
Even if you wrap yourself in palm leaves, it won’t change anything. If you have hidden your strength under grievances, problems, suffering, then no clothes will save you. Clothes cannot change your inner world. If there is aggression and violence inside you, then no one will perceive you as feminine, even if you are wearing a dress with ruffles.
You won't fool anyone, including yourself. After all, appearing to be someone else who you are not in reality with the help of clothes is simply deception. First of all, deceiving yourself.
You hope that by using external attributes you will become feminine. But something inside you knows that this is not so. That this is a lie.
Therefore, my dear, do not listen to anyone who advises how a woman should dress and how she should not. Dress the way you like, what makes you feel like a goddess. What makes the soul sing? Pants or dress - what's the difference.
Your outer shell will be attractive in any case if you are in agreement with yourself. In accordance with your inner strength. Your appearance will reflect this. You will broadcast joy and satisfaction into the world. People will feel it and say that you are beautiful.
Problem from childhood
To be honest, as a psychologist, the frivolous ideal is not very close to me. So I will offer my understanding of femininity - a positive attitude towards your gender and your body. And therefore this concept does not correlate with the love of pink dresses or manipulation of men. To be feminine means to accept your sexuality in the broadest sense of the word and find many advantages in it
And whether you’re wearing stiletto heels or wearing a helmet and a fire hose is not so important
Alas, the truth is that not all representatives of the fair sex are delighted with their own bodily capabilities and limitations. Some desperately resist the idea of motherhood, others suffer from feelings of inferiority and fiercely compete with men. Others quietly hate their bodies as a source of frustration. To paraphrase the classic, there are many unhappy people, and everyone is unhappy in their own way.
The difference in the experience of one’s own gender should be sought in communication with the closest person – the mother
. A parent, satisfied with her marriage, child, and friendly support, demonstrates femininity every day, as a matter of course. But the mother, exhausted, irritated, having long forgotten about self-love, is a different story. “My pregnancy was a nightmare”, “men love cheeky people, but you and I are not like that”, “you know who is fixated on their appearance.” These sincere, but not the most constructive, maternal beliefs are the building blocks of our ideas about sexual relationships.
Without wanting it, the unhappy mother broadcasts: being a woman is a so-so job. It is joyless, difficult, dangerous. It is not surprising that, having learned her mother’s lesson at a young age, the girl completely forgets about her charm. She seems to be trying to belittle female nature in order to avoid the vicissitudes of fate. Growing up, such a girl can become her favorite boyfriend, a strong specialist - anyone, but not a beautiful woman.
