How to Smartly Respond to an Insult: Advice from a Psychologist

Insults differ from constructive criticism and accidentally spoken offensive words in one important quality - hostility.

. The offender wants to hurt his opponent, cause him psychological pain, and humiliate him.

Thinking about how to respond intelligently to insults

, you need to take into account the specifics of the situation, the gender and age of the offender.

How to Smartly Respond to an Insult

A hero must be able to respond to an insult with a joke and thereby turn it into nothing.
Truly strong is he who cannot be hurt. Maria Semenova. Gray wolf

1.How to respond to insults funny and sarcastically
2.It’s easiest to answer with obscenities
3. Without swearing in smart words
4.Reply to the man
5.Reply to the woman
6.Examples of phrases
7. When to refuse retaliatory insults

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How to respond to insults funny and sarcastically

The goal of the insulter is to touch a person’s heartstrings, provoke him to negative emotions, and make him feel humiliated and depressed.
But if the interlocutor does not take the offensive words personally and responds to his opponent with humor, he will be confused. The easiest way to laugh it off is with those whom a person knows personally and is well acquainted with the character and individual characteristics of the aggressor. When his verbal attack encounters a humorous tone and sarcasm, the tension subsides and the offender will be forced to switch his attention to another object.

It will not be possible to prepare in advance to respond funny to an insult. You always need to be guided by the situation.

But examples of funny phrases will inspire a person to create his own comic improvisation

“Looks like a bee stung you on the tongue today. That explains why you say such nonsense."
“Your point of view is very strange, but it’s understandable, instead of the brain, think with the fifth point...”
“I look at you and understand that your head is just a decorative addition to your body.”
“Yes, I fell, I just saw how stunning you are.”
“I thought I’d offend you back, but why? The mirror does this to you every day for me.”
“Laughter for no reason is a sign of blondes and idiots. To convince me of the first, first shave off your stubble and beard.”

On a note!

Humor is a delicate matter. You won't be able to put down outright rude people with jokes. Some individuals only understand rudeness and retaliatory rudeness.

What insults are the most offensive?

Our ancestors used to brand livestock. So, if an animal flinched when a hot brand touched its body, the peasants said: “They hit a nerve.”

The most offensive insults are those that touch our fears and complexes. Please note that the harsh words of our loved ones and friends hurt the most. Why is this happening?

Firstly, because we trust them and hope for support. And, secondly, because our relatives know all our secret fears and desires, all the reasons for dissatisfaction with ourselves. The easiest way for them is to find our “live meat” and poke it with a hot iron.

Even a stranger can hit the mark. For example, if a very plump girl is proud of her body, has a lot of men, and perhaps even shoots for “size+” magazines, then she will accept the word “cow” addressed to her with a smile. But a completely slender girl who is constantly on diets and has complexes about her weight can be offended to the point of a neurotic disorder.

Important!

A mature person with high self-esteem always treats insults adequately, without unnecessary emotions and does not react to them.

If a loved one struck a painful point, you should think about whether you should continue to be with him.

The easiest way to answer is with obscenities

Surely everyone has encountered people who are rude, use foul language or even threaten for no reason.
Such aggressors retreat only if they hear harsh words and threats in response. But it is also possible that the offender will become even more angry and the verbal conflict will transfer to the physical plane. The easiest way is to answer the insulter with obscenities. But before that, you need to objectively assess the environment

Are there two or three more of his friends nearby with the aggressor?
The conflict occurred in a busy place or in a deserted wasteland.
What are the physical parameters of the offender (perhaps he is a beefy big guy, and you are a fragile programmer about sixty meters tall).

Stooping to obscene language is the last thing, but in some cases you can’t do without swearing; this is the simplest and only effective method.
How to Insult a Person Smartly

Without swearing in smart words

In most cases, swearing is not necessary to control the situation.
You can silence the offender with clever words. For example:

“I recognized you! You are the same actor who played Shrek!”
"I hope you're just trying to look worse than you really are."
“Your words fully reflect the level of your intelligence.”
“I’m allergic to idiots, please move away.”
“You don’t need to open your mouth and show me your dirty teeth - I’m not a dentist.”
“I would like to fight an intellectual duel with you, but I see that you are unarmed.”
“Just because you look terrible doesn’t give you the right to behave the same way.”
“Did you come up with this now, or have you been rehearsing it for a week?”
“Where did this clown come from in a public place?”
“Don’t rush, you don’t need to actively demonstrate to others your lack of brains.”
“Don’t worry so much, the day will come when you can still say something smart.”
“Today, thanks to you, my knowledge has expanded, listening to you, I learned what the highest degree of stupidity is.”

On a note!

If a work colleague constantly insults you, you need to make fun of his low professionalism several times in front of the whole team. You can also propose to the manager his candidacy for the execution of a task in which he understands nothing.

Problems of education

But why a man humiliates and insults a woman - the science of psychology in this regard identifies several main root causes. And the first thing he puts first is the costs of education, or rather the lack thereof. At the same time, the science of psychology itself places emphasis on theory - a future boyfriend, a man, learns to be rude and offend a girl at the stage of that age when he does not know how to recognize what is good or bad.

The decisive role here is played by the model of the father, who regularly offends the mother - the woman, they say, is not a person and this is how one should act. The boy is gradually growing up, but this standard of behavior is acceptable for him; his future girlfriend must not only love him, but at the same time steadfastly endure all humiliation.

At the same time, she should not have any questions about why a man is rude and humiliates her - female psychology also takes on the behavior of a submissive mother, who in the girl’s childhood got it from her husband. If you don’t believe me, just take a closer look at your own familiar couples, even older families.

We answer the man

Men rarely insult women, especially in public.
But if this happens, it means you are facing a real boor. He needs to be put down nicely so that next time he will think several times before being rude to girls. The following phrases can help with this:

“Man, are you behaving this way because of your period?”
“I would continue the conversation, but I prefer to talk with men, but now there are no such people next to me.”
“My excess weight is fixable, but your brain is underdeveloped muscle mass that will remain that way forever.”
“My stupidity is justified by the fact that I am a woman, and your rudeness is justified by the fact that you are not a man.”
“I hope your kids are like your neighbor.”
“I wanted to meet your wife, but she refused to meet, she is so ashamed of her choice of husband.”
“Do you hide your little complexes behind your long tongue?”
“I could be offended, but I’m not used to being angry with children. Judging by your intelligence level, you entered fifth grade yesterday.”

Important!

If a woman is being insulted by the man she lives with, then a completely different approach is required.
Insult in response to insult will only aggravate the conflict; the partner will remember every offensive word, since his male pride was hurt. If offensive words are spoken by a loved one, you need to stop communicating with him and go to another room.
After he calms down, you need to explain that this form of communication is unacceptable to you and that his emotions do not justify abusive behavior.

If a young man or husband regularly uses derogatory words, it is worth considering whether such a relationship is necessary. When disrespectful treatment of women in the family becomes the norm, it is possible that the partner will not begin to raise a hand against her.

How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect?

Tips to ensure that the insult is right on target

The main thing for both the offender and the victim is not to be fooled by emotions and maintain composure. If you want to hit the target, then pay attention to your facial expressions and gestures. The more restrained they are, the more offensive the spoken words will be for the victim.

A face twisted with anger, twitching hands and other parts of the body will show your weakness and inability to control yourself. Therefore, offensive words will be perceived as an emotional outburst and nothing more.

The tone for offensive words should be calm, not shouting. A shrill voice will also not work in this case. The worst insults are said with a smile on the face and a quiet voice. All counter statements must be ignored, without commenting on them or getting involved in dialogue.

The same tactics will work for the victim. If you are being deliberately insulted, keep a calm face, smile and say something like: “Thank you, I really needed your opinion in order to become completely happy.” The aggressor's desire to continue further altercation may pass.

Answering a woman

You can react to women's insults in different ways.
It all depends on who allowed himself to speak impudently to you - wife, mother-in-law, boss, stranger, friend, colleague. Women who insult unknown men for no reason, in most cases suffer from an inferiority complex, and thus try to increase their importance.

Sometimes you shouldn’t pay attention to such people at all, but if the rudeness goes off scale, you can answer as follows

“When I need your advice, I will definitely seek you out. Now don’t waste your breath.”
“Keep talking, maybe in a year or two, you’ll get to smart phrases.”
“Next time, open your mouth when intelligent thoughts appear in your head.”
"I'm not impressed with your appearance, so don't waste my time with your stupid words."
“We’ll continue our conversation when your period ends.”

If offensive words are uttered by a wife, the correct way out of a conflict situation is silence.
You need to let her speak out, making a completely calm, but not indifferent face. Then, when her emotions subside, you need to convey to her that this style of communication is not acceptable. If something does not suit her or offends her, she must express herself correctly, without stooping to humiliating words.

Relationships with a married man - advice from a psychologist

Who should never be insulted?

It should be said that some insults are punishable by law in Russia and are administrative offenses or a criminal offense. There is even an article in the law for insulting a person.

You can be subject to administrative liability for any insult to another person.

But a criminal case will be opened in the following cases:

Insulting statements addressed to judges, law enforcement officials and authorities, if they are on duty.
If offensive insults are aimed at religious feelings.
When a person is humiliated based on his ethnicity, such an action can be qualified as inciting ethnic hatred.

In this regard, before commenting on other people's characteristics in a rude or derogatory manner, consider the consequences.

Example phrases

In different cases, insults need to be responded to differently.
When you are faced with a conflict situation, all examples of responses to rudeness are abruptly forgotten. A resourceful person with a subtle sense of humor will be able to quickly navigate any situation. But a shy person should adopt universal phrases:

“Thanks for the advice, but you need it more.”
“Are you sending me back to where you just came from?”
“You always make such bad jokes, or is today a bad day?”
“I don’t want to argue with you, because I can’t surpass you in stupidity.”
“I hope you don’t have children? The world doesn't need so many stupid people!
“I would like to answer you rudely, but I’m afraid I will be accused of mistreating animals.”
“Are you hiding your own inadequacy or bad mood behind rudeness?”

If your opponent pours out a whole stream of “dirty” words, there are two options left - threaten him or completely ignore him.

When to refuse retaliatory insults

If a teenager or child is rude to you, you need to show wisdom and think about how to intelligently respond to an insult without derogatory phrases.
You shouldn’t remain silent in response to harsh words; you definitely need to have an intelligible conversation with the little rude person. In most cases, it will be enough to say that you understand him, since you yourself were at the same age. But his behavior is wrong and unacceptable. It is necessary to explain in detail why you cannot say or act this way.

Have you ever encountered outright rudeness in your life? Were you able to calm the aggressor with peaceful words?

In what cases do you think it is worth remaining silent in response to insults? Who do you think should be rude or threatened in response?

Sannikova Stela Apr 29, 2020