In the whirlpool of life's routine and gray everyday life, people have become accustomed to an established daily routine. In the morning, they get up to work with an alarm clock, drink a cup of coffee, buy the next issue of the Segodnya newspaper on the way to the office and spend the rest of the day fulfilling their social duty and working for the good of society, and in the evening they go home and go to bed. And so every day, day after day. Boring, ordinary, everyday. But once a person falls in love, his life, even the most ordinary one, is turned upside down. What is it like, sincere love?
Concept of love
What is the definition of love? In a literal sense, this is the concept of a feeling based on an irresistible moral craving, mental attachment to a person, physical attraction to him and the highest degree of sympathy. Researchers view the concept of the feeling of sincere love as something empirical, intangible, something that cannot be touched or seen in person. But in fact, manifestations of love are the most noticeable, most desired, most touching actions performed by people towards each other at the moment of establishing an emotional connection and attraction between them.
Love is not only a combination of boundless trust, endless devotion, crazy passion, pure sincerity and subconscious attraction to the object of transcendental sympathy. These are nights without sleep, and thousands of letters with sincere declarations of love, and weeks of suffering in separation, and months of waiting for an answer, and years of keeping the image of a beloved in the heart, and daily maintenance of it in memory and one’s own consciousness as an object of adoration.
But it should be noted that the meaning of the word “love” is understood differently by everyone, because each person puts his own meaning into it, based on his personal experience. At the same time, one truth is clear to everyone - this is a feeling of incredible attraction to a person, based on the desire to constantly be nearby, contemplate the object of one’s passion and share mutual emotions with him.
How does this happen in men?2
- The first stage is sympathy. A young man notices a girl among others who is attractive to him in appearance. Sympathy may arise at the first meeting, or maybe after several random meetings. One way or another, he wants to look at her, to attract attention. Most often, a man cannot determine why exactly he liked this or that girl.
If young people see each other regularly, but the further stages of falling in love have not occurred, sympathy for the physical image will remain. At the same time, there can be quite a lot of attractive girls for a young man.
- The second stage is passion. This stage is characterized by the man’s activity: he makes acquaintances, shows signs of attention, and actively courtes. Whether the further formation of the relationship at this stage will continue depends on the girl, whether she will accept his advances.
- The third stage is impressions. If the advances are accepted, the relationship continues. At this stage, it is important for a man to make an impression, show his best side, surprise her, and accomplish a feat for her.
- The fourth stage is persuasion. The young man wants to be sure that his feelings are mutual. He's still trying to impress, worrying about how she feels about him.
- The fifth stage is checking your own feelings. If the girl reciprocates, the man begins to think and ask himself about the necessity and significance of this relationship. Usually, being at this stage, a man can disappear for several days without explanation and return if he has decided to continue the relationship.
- The sixth stage is readiness. If the decision is positive, the man is ready to develop a serious relationship with his chosen one.
Types of love
The classification of love emotions is multifaceted and wide in its possible manifestations. Based on the understanding of reciprocity, it can be mutual and unrequited. According to the duration of the sensation, it is divided into fleeting and love of a lifetime. The depth of the emotion experienced suggests a superficial feeling or an incredibly reverent one. According to the object of belonging, it can be love for a neighbor, mother, child, friend, comrade, partner, favorite business, creative brainchild, living conditions, and, finally, for a representative of the opposite sex, on a mutual relationship with whom you can build a strong and lasting family .
Sincere love can also be happy and tragic, bring joy or suffering, carry a bright feeling or burn with the bitter torture of pain and mental anguish. But in any case, when falling in love, a person experiences the most incredible, most emotionally intense and powerful feelings and sensations of his entire life.
The meaning of love in human life
How does the feeling of sincere love affect a person and his life? At the moment of cognition of the described feeling, the inner worldview changes radically:
- there is a feeling of inspiration and high spirits;
- thoughts constantly revolve around a single person;
- there is loss of appetite and sleep disturbance;
- new goals and dreams appear in life;
- a person becomes more purposeful and responsible for himself and his love relationships;
- the feeling of love subsequently serves as a catalyst for procreation and expansion of the nation;
- the concept of love forms separately for each person and for society as a whole a specific list of stable social norms that have a direct impact on people as units of society.
Dangerous disease
Intense love, as many doctors believe, is sometimes a rather dangerous condition for human health. The behavior of a lover is accompanied by strong stress, both nervous and psychological, that is, the human body suffers both morally and physically. At their core, the signs of a person in love are very similar to the signs of a person: a drug addict, suffering from neuroses, as well as manifestations of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
But people are not afraid of this condition, they do not go to the doctor, on the contrary, they look for love and are happy when they find it. All this is wonderful and wonderful, but only when the feelings are mutual. But if there is no reciprocity, then falling in love often becomes a serious illness that can even threaten a person’s life, especially if the lover becomes fixated on his condition.
However, everything depends on a person’s attitude to the situation, his personal qualities, will and psychological maturity. How a person in love behaves, who still hopes or already has a reciprocal feeling, was considered. But what happens to a lover whose feelings are left unanswered? This is where doctors begin to sound the alarm: after all, in this case, we can talk not only about the psychological and mental health of a person, but also his life. How to determine love that has not received reciprocal feelings? There are 3 scenario options here:
- A person withdraws into himself, suffers, feels humiliated, helpless. His self-esteem plummets. As a rule, it is difficult to get such a person out of the house. Perhaps he will drink or use drugs to numb the pain that constantly torments him. Depressive states develop and thoughts of suicide appear.
- A rejected lover goes to great lengths. He begins to lead a very active lifestyle, throwing himself headlong into the pool. Such people show signs of neurasthenia: they deliberately find themselves in dangerous situations, thus fleeing from their feelings. They seek to replace them with others. This is a rather dangerous condition, since in this case it can all end in severe speeding in a car, jumping off a bridge without insurance, etc.
- Hysterical state of falling in love. Constant hysterics are replaced by the imposition of one’s feelings on the object of adoration. A person can achieve reciprocal feelings in different ways - threats, force, blackmail, and inducing self-pity. Each time, new ideas are brewing in his head on how to achieve reciprocity, i.e., paranoid syndrome develops.
Difference between love and infatuation
People are often deceived in their feelings. The fact is that there is also such a thing as falling in love. And it is not identical to the concept of love.
Falling in love is the degree to which one person perceives another in terms of an irresistible feeling of sympathy and the experience of a spiritual outburst, an emotional outburst, a temporary strong feeling of infatuation, which later either develops into love or fades away. Falling in love is characterized more by the effect of the first impression, the initial stage of a love relationship, when people have just met and want to get to know each other again and again, enjoy spending time together again and again, contemplate each other every day, every hour, every minute of their time.
While sincere love is a deeper, more broad-spectrum and multifaceted feeling, which assumes a firmly fixed and more stable nature of sensations, has a much longer time frame and can last a lifetime, in contrast to the feeling of falling in love, which lasts for some time. several weeks or months.
Stages of love formation7
The emergence of love and infatuation are radically different. The formation of true love is directly related to the development of relationships, therefore it occurs in the same way for men and women. It is customary to distinguish seven main stages of relationships.
The first stage is falling in love or the “bouquet-candy period.” The most emotional, bright, memorable stage. A time when no one exists except the lovers themselves, and you want this to last forever. For each other, they are ideal people who are perfectly compatible. They try their best to please and impress, they can’t get enough of each other.
The second stage is oversaturation. Lovers spend a lot of time together, without having time to part, they call each other or text for hours. Sooner or later, it becomes a habit and does not bring the same joy. It seems that love has passed. In fact, you just have to move away a little and devote time to yourself, and everything will fall into place. Relationships are like a rubber band: the further its ends are stretched, the stronger the force of resistance, the brighter and more emotional the meeting.
The third stage is non-acceptance. At this stage, it seems to both that the scales have fallen from their eyes, and the partner is no longer the same as before. They notice flaws in appearance, behavior, habits, and character. When ending a relationship at this stage, young people explain the reason for the separation in everyday life. In fact, the real reason is not the desire to accept a person for who he really is.
The fourth stage is patience. Having decided to stay together, no matter what, you will have to get used to the shortcomings discovered, and for this you need to be patient. Quarrels and disagreements arise at this stage, but not so often. A man and a woman learn to be together and get to know each other much better.
The fifth stage is trust and respect. The long-awaited beginning of true love begins here. Lovers finally realize that it is more important not to wait and demand love, but to give it. They respect each other's interests and values, even if they conflict with their own values and interests.
The sixth stage is friendship. At this stage, lovers come to the realization that they have no one closer and dearer to them. They completely trust, listen and respect, and are ready to support each other in both sorrow and joy. A true friendship emerges in the couple, which they can carry through the years.
The seventh stage is love. A couple who has reached this stage of the relationship does not need loud words about love and fidelity; they are sure that this feeling will be with them forever.
How to distinguish true love from fleeting infatuation
People often fall into the traps of their own self-deception. There are often cases when the most sincere love turns into a short-term meeting of a lifetime for a couple. It is important to be able to distinguish between these concepts so as not to be deceived and not get burned in your expectations. After all, true, sincere love is the key to a healthy, strong family and happy leisure time with your loved one, and a passing passion is a chapter of a book that quickly ends and the page turns to a new stage of reading called “life.”
What emotions are inherent in the state of falling in love?
Not everyone can specifically answer the question: what is falling in love? But every person describes their emotions in this state in approximately the same way. What are the symptoms of falling in love in all people?
- Euphoria. At every meeting, excitement makes my legs weak and my head spins. A state close to fainting. And yet it's nice. Boundless joy that lasts all day and then prevents you from falling asleep. Even unfamiliar people notice the changes taking place in a person.
- The desire to please at any cost. Lovers begin to actively monitor their appearance: they change their hairstyle, sign up for the gym, and look for beautiful clothes. They are trying to gain attention and stand out from other possible competitors.
- The value of every minute spent together. There is always a reason to walk by or ask something. It doesn't matter that you're doing this for the tenth time that day. What if right now he or she notices you and falls in love back?
- Dreams of a future together. A wide variety of images come into your head: a magnificent wedding with tears of tenderness on the faces of all relatives, your children, old age and you, wrapped in one checkered blanket. I would like to think that this amazing feeling really leads you to a happy life together.
- Constant thoughts about the chosen one. Being in love, you can easily fail a session or even lose your job due to constant inattention. It is simply impossible to think about anything other than your chosen one or chosen one.
- Sexual passion. Physical attraction is an integral part of falling in love. It is impossible not to want a person during this period. Any touch of his gives you goosebumps and a rush of blood to your head and other places.
Strong emotions in both girls and boys really manifest themselves, like a symptom of a disease called “falling in love.” Under the influence of this feeling, you can create masterpieces and do good. But, unfortunately, sometimes emotions lead to crimes. The first time I fell in love is especially memorable. It usually occurs in adolescence, when the riot of hormones exaggerates all sensations significantly. Therefore, even being in a happy marriage, many people still remember their first feelings.
Is it worth loving?
Love also has its contradictions. Unfortunately, this is not always all-consuming happiness and joy from experiencing this feeling. After all, sincere love may not find reciprocity, bring disappointment, pain of loss and loss from such a negative factor as betrayal and betrayal. It can burn painfully, cause incredible suffering, and can even drive you crazy in the literal sense of the word. But if we talk about sincere love and ask the question whether it is worth loving, probably the correct answer will be - it is worth it, since, along with possible suffering, this is the most powerful, brightest, most expressive positive feeling that a person can experience.
