How to communicate with a man: learn to speak correctly, secrets of easy communication

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What you can talk about with a guy - 200 topics that were selected by specialists from a famous dating site, guided by the experience of thousands of users. These topics will not only help those girls who don’t know what to start a conversation about with a guy, they will help interest you and bring you closer to your interlocutor.

The initiator of the project was the dating site Free-Russian-Dating.NET . A team of professionals was assembled who specialize in building relationships between men and women. The work was carried out by three psychologists, two statisticians, two sociologists and an electronic data processing specialist. Now appreciate the scale of this project. 2000 topics were found that are suitable for discussion with a man. The main task was to leave the 200 most interesting ones. For this, more than 40,000 thousand network users were surveyed. It took 65 days to prepare and conduct the survey. Let me present the results.

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You can also read our article What to write to a guy in it we instruct in detail what and how to write first to the guy you like.

Communication

Nature has endowed representatives of the two gender groups with completely different attitudes and views on the surrounding reality. That is why, in order to understand what your chosen one is thinking or feeling, it is necessary to delve into the analysis of the level of instincts.

Guys try to take the pedestal, win the hearts of girls and feed their families. The ability to holistically understand the structure of the world helps to cope with these tasks. Their concentration on the goal is so strong that they filter out other information that is superfluous.

In addition, guys do not have the ability to flexibly perceive reality, as women do. Therefore, the main rule in the psychology of communicating with men is not to make hints, not to take words out of their context and not to rely on emotions and feelings.

I recommend directly expressing your opinions and desires. It is necessary to touch on one priority topic so that the gentleman can fully concentrate on it.

The most effective conversation will be one that is addressed to the mind and not to feelings. It will be easier to guide your chosen one to the right decision if he sees rationality in it.

Humor

To make the communication atmosphere relaxed and relieve tension, use humorous questions. Humor helps people not only relax, but also feel charming. Diversify the dialogue, win his sympathy.

• What do you do with your alarm clock if it rings ahead of time?
• What time of year can you compare yourself to?
• Do you have a sock folding system?
• Do you take out the trash in slippers or change your shoes?
• Do you like walking on frozen puddles and listening to the ice crunch?
• What are you talking about in the morning with the shaggy and unshaven guy in the mirror?
• Do you think soup for breakfast is ok?
• Do you like popping bubbles on film?
• Have you tried singing while stuck in an elevator?

Humor will save you from any awkward situation

How to learn to interact with the opposite sex

At all times, girls have represented a mystery. It is not for nothing that it is believed that male logic cannot stand up against female intuitive abilities.

Before you understand how to talk to a man, you need to understand his psychology. First of all, these are males. This means that they need to feel like leaders in all areas: from family to small hobbies.

But history does not know a single leader without a support group. Therefore, an important female role is to provide it, but not to abuse it. Doing everything instead of a companion is a bad idea. But many people consult with their beloved before making a decision or a certain undertaking. So tell him that the idea is excellent and he will definitely succeed.

Another factor concerns the fact that the Cavaliers are still children. They just grow up, just like their favorite toys. Cars become respectable cars, soldiers turn into employees.

So talk to him about one of these topics, even if you don’t know anything about it. And if you can remember the features, the conversation will last for hours.

There are a lot of options on how to properly communicate with a guy, but the above rules are basic. You need to take a closer look at your chosen one, observe his behavior, find out about his interests, and then interaction with him will be much easier.

Common Mistakes

Often partners joke about strange female logic. And in order not to become one of these girls, try to avoid the main mistakes:

• Express all the thoughts that come to mind. Not all of them are worth voicing. When thinking about a pressing problem, you need to give yourself time to look at it from different angles and make a final decision. This is especially true when discussing claims to relationships.
• Interrupt. The quality that most guys value is the ability to listen. In a male company, they usually listen to other people’s opinions, and only then express their own. It is advisable to follow their example and learn patience.
• Be a mystery to him. This advice can be found in all recommendations on how to please a man. But it is necessary to take into account that representatives of the stronger sex do not understand hints, so do not walk around, but directly say about your desires. Directness will help build a harmonious relationship where partners will feel satisfied.

Rules for communicating with a guy from psychology

A woman who wants to keep her lover should follow some tips to help the couple reach a new level:

Psychologist Daria Milai

Make an appointment

• Listen to your companion. It is important for him to share his experiences, talk about future plans and simply be heard. And sharing this with your loved one is much more pleasant. Therefore, be interested in his life, ask relevant questions, and also do not be afraid to talk about your views on things.
• Don't try to be “different.” If you decide to change your image, then you need to do it gradually. Because a sudden transition from jeans to minis and bright makeup will cause surprise. It’s better to go shopping together and choose the right things and jewelry. The main thing is not to try to completely reincarnate and be someone you are not. The guy fell in love with you for real. Therefore, it is recommended to take a course towards development, but not to miss your own essence.
• Avoid criticism. Men perceive it painfully, especially when it happens in the company of friends. Complaining can lower self-esteem and cause mistrust.
• Don't "saw". Doubts and dissatisfaction will only worsen relationships. Praise your partner and admire him. Otherwise, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to keep him around for a long time.
• Don't be smart. Showing off your intelligence to the fullest is a bad idea. After all, conversations with a lover are unscientific discussions. They should be light and not cause discomfort. This also affects his self-confidence.

Provocation

It takes time to answer difficult, tricky questions. Don't rush, let the person think about it.

• Do you use swear words in your speech? In what cases and why?
• Can a woman and a man be friends?
• What could be the reason for your fear?
• Are you a gambling person?
• What makes you cry?
• Do you have a cherished dream?
• The main value in life?
• Do you want to live forever?
• What will you never dare to do, even for a big reward?

How to talk correctly with the man you love

Everyone knows that in a relationship the leading role goes to the woman. To build an eternal union, you need to approach it wisely. At my personal consultation you will learn about all the secrets of communicating with your chosen one. Let me give you some of them:

• Politeness and delicacy are the basic rules for any woman. Already at the first stage, you should take them as a basis, listen to what he says, and confirm interest with facial expressions or words.
• Does your partner have hobbies? Don't forbid him to spend time on them. After all, personal space is important for every person. Even if you want to spend all day long with him, try to curb this desire. Interaction with a guy should be measured, and then you are unlikely to get bored.
• Realize that in life together there are not only positive and negative moments. Everyday life and “gray” everyday life also happen, so try to diversify your relationships.
• Joint activities only bring us closer together. Therefore, put aside your shyness and ask your chosen one for help: let him feel reliable.

Topics for conversation

When the guy reads your message and responds to it, it will become clear whether it is worth continuing the conversation. If a young man says that he doesn’t want to meet each other because he is in a relationship, then this is not your option. Apologize and redirect your attention to someone else.

READ What you can tell a guy about yourself: examples of topics

If a man happily answered the questions and decided to continue the conversation, it means he likes you. You can stir up this interest through an engaging conversation. Choose a suitable topic and get started:

1. If the young person has an unusual hobby, such as cooking, rope jumping, or playing the horn, ask for more information about it. Men are happy to share their hobbies and love to be admired.
2. Ask where your chosen one vacationed and what impressed him. Find out what kind of vacation he prefers - extreme or more measured. Ask if he likes to swim and sunbathe on the beach or if he likes excursions and active leisure.
3. Discuss theater productions, films, interesting exhibitions taking place in the city. First, ask if the young person is interested in any of the above. Talk about new developments in literature.

Also find out what the guy likes, and then tell him about yourself. But don’t go too far, because guys don’t really like talkative girls.

How to stay interesting

To do this, you should regularly expand your horizons, show interest in new events and people around you.

Face-to-face consultation

What are the features and advantages of face-to-face consultation?

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Skype consultation

What are the features and benefits of Skype consultations?

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You can become a fascinating conversationalist if you have a hobby. A passionate girl will always share positive emotions and amazing facts.

Please note that feminine themes are unlikely to interest your gentleman. He will be bored hearing about outfits, celebrity romances or gossip.

However, tips on how to communicate with a guy are only general recommendations, since each case is individual. The only thing you definitely need to follow is to preserve your own identity. In the process of interaction, gentlemen are attracted to bright individuals from whom they can learn new things.

Love and women

If you are wondering how a young man might behave towards you, find out about his previous experiences and beliefs towards girls.

Some tricky questions will help with this. Here are some examples:

• What valuable qualities should a girl have?
• What can be repulsive in a girl?
• What should be the professional activity of your future wife?
• Should a woman take care of the house or build a career?
• Do you remember your first love?
• Can a girl be the first to talk about her feelings?
• Have you ever had unreciprocated feelings?
• Do you consider yourself an amorous person?
• Do you believe in love at first sight?
• Do you consider yourself a romantic?
• What is your attitude towards polygamy?
• Could you fall in love with a girl through online correspondence?

A few myths about guys

The girls came up with them on their own and believed them. But the mystery lies in the fact that such opinions about them are too far from reality. Here are a few of these legends:

• They don't care about their appearance. Perhaps this phenomenon was common during the development of light industry, but even then some managed to follow fashion. Today, many of them visit barbershops, purchase branded clothing and closely monitor what is trending this season.
• They don't gossip. In fact, this is also common in male company. Gossip is simply ignored if there are ladies in the social circle, which is why it seems that a secret entrusted to a gentleman will forever remain a secret.
• They are not economical. This myth is quite beneficial for the stronger sex. After all, you can force a woman to cook dinner, and relax yourself, lying on the sofa. But somehow he lived for his beloved and did not remain hungry.
• They are afraid of the wedding. Phrases that he is not yet ready to get married are excuses for not taking a responsible step. When a guy meets someone with whom he is ready to live happily ever after, he immediately takes her to the registry office. But what they are definitely afraid of is divorce. According to statistics, it is mainly ladies who apply for it.
• They are ruled by sexual desire. Try thinking about it for a few hours. It's unlikely that this will work. In addition, one should take into account the peculiarity of male thinking, when in the process it is difficult for him to think about others. This is where the legend comes from.

Simple questions

Ask simple questions that don't require much thought to start an easy conversation. With the help of such questions, a trusting environment will be created.

• Did you have a good day?
• What mood are you in?
• What are you doing?
• Do you have lunch in the cafeteria or do you bring food with you?
• How long did it take you to get through traffic jams yesterday?
• It’s so cold at work, but have you turned on the heating?
• Have you already been on vacation?
• Will you go to training today?

Secrets of communicating with men

I will describe the most popular questions that concern any girl at the beginning of a relationship.

What to ask

I recommend talking about topics about profession, studies, hobbies and future plans for life. You can also talk about your favorite books, sports or animals. But you shouldn’t touch on “female” topics and love affairs in the early stages.

How to make a silent person talk

This is not an easy task, but the problem can be solved. Find out what his interests are: with the help of mutual friends or subscriptions to groups on social networks. If you are not knowledgeable in this area, then read the information. As you communicate, intentionally steer the conversation in the right direction. So, you will create comfortable conditions for a man, and he will be able to talk about his hobbies without stopping.

How to talk to a guy and keep the conversation going

To do this, you need to learn to ask the right questions. Avoid phrases that require a one-word answer of “yes” or “no,” otherwise you will quickly end up in awkward silence. And detailed formulations, on the contrary, will help to find other topics.

Also, make it a habit not to interrupt your interlocutor, even if you want to insert a word into the story. After all, cutting off mid-sentence means showing bad manners. In addition, you can lose the thread of the conversation, and you will not be able to find anything else to discuss when this topic is exhausted.

Ask a question

What to do if your boyfriend suddenly stops interacting

There may be many reasons for this: a new passion, loss of interest, difficulties in the service. But since, psychologically, guys are hunters, as soon as they conquer an object, they refuse to contact it.

Many men perceive falling in love as another victory, and again go looking for another victim. Therefore, during the period of communication, it is worth keeping him at a distance and fueling the fuse with changes from showing attention to indifference.

How to make contact

You should listen carefully to your interlocutor and try to understand the essence of the conversation. Don't try to show off your best side and show your intelligence through long monologues and stories about your successes and virtues. It’s better to learn how to easily communicate with men, because that’s what they look for in their chosen ones. Therefore, give up negative dialogues and discuss only good news.

How to talk about the future

The main thing is not to be persistent when talking about frankness, otherwise it will scare the guy away. But if you carefully guide him in the right direction, the partner will open up and become sincere. Start with small topics: vacation plans, goals for the near future. And then ask leading questions on the topic of interest.

How to delicately refuse communication

If the gentleman is too touchy, then you should not directly state this. It is better to keep interaction to a minimum: answer politely and not be active. Monosyllabic phrases will speed up the end of the conversation.

How to contact your ex

If you start communicating again, it is important not to remember past disappointments and grievances. Dissatisfaction, complaints and comments can provoke a quarrel. There is no need to sort things out, otherwise the hostility will only intensify.

How to Talk to a Married Gentleman

In such communication, subordination should be observed. Light flirting, hints and ambiguous jokes are a bad position. In this case, the man will think that you are hoping to become his mistress.

How to have a dialogue about children

There is one rather old joke about how to spot a real bachelor: tell him that you love him very much and want a child from him. But girls should understand that after meeting, it is not advisable to discuss with him what they will name the baby. Otherwise it can be intimidating.

It’s difficult even for experienced dating people to have a conversation about this. We come from afar, but better yet, show by actions that you are ready for offspring.

Games by correspondence in VK with a guy - Top 3 games

The game is a good tool in correspondence that can accomplish several goals at once:

1. Play brings you closer together;
2. Play can be fun;
3. You will get to know each other better;
4. The person invests in communicating with you;

Now I will share with you several game ideas and show you what it looks like in practice.

1) Game “What will you do if ...?”

Rules of the game: you take turns asking each other “What will you do (will you do) if...?”, and then add your own question. The main thing is that the questions are interesting. After the question, the person must answer how, in his opinion, he would behave in such a situation.

The more absurd and interesting the question you ask, the better.

Examples of interesting questions that evoke emotions:

• What will you do if you win 100 million in the lottery? $?
• What will you do if you are kidnapped and want to sell you for organs?
• What will you do if you only have one day left to live?
• What will you do if you become the president of the country?

Then I recommend making such a feature, after the guy’s next answer you write the following: “Stop, we’re not playing anymore, everything is clear to me!).”

The guy will ask what do you understand? You don’t read the message for about 30 minutes, wait for a pause, he’s scratching his head during this time. And then you write: “It’s clear to me that you are an interesting person.”

2) Guessing game

Rules of the game: You take turns telling each other facts about yourself, the task is to guess whether it is a real fact or a false one. For example, you say: “I’m a ballerina in the theater,” and the guy’s task is to guess whether it’s true or not. If he guesses correctly, then he gets +1 point, if not, then he gets no points. Then the guy must say a fact about himself and so on in a circle.

The game is played on a count, for example up to 5 points. The loser buys the winner coffee (or something else, depending on your imagination).

Personal experience: The game is suitable for all ages. I played it with both girls 17 years old and girls 26+. And each of them played it with interest.

3) Game “Questions”«

You take turns asking each other questions, but there are several conditions.

You can’t ask boring questions, for example: “Where do you study? Where do you live?" and other standard questions.

It is mandatory to answer the truth and the number of questions is limited. And also there are no restrictions on topics, you can ask everything. Despite the apparent simplicity of the game, it is very cool, because it opens up great opportunities to get to know a person and have an interesting time.

Advice from psychologists

Before you start a conversation with a guy you like, it would be useful to find out what professionals think about this.

1. Be honest. From the first meeting you should not reward yourself with non-existent qualities, character traits or achievements. Sooner or later everything will become clear. And think about what kind of light you will find yourself in then. Remember that we were all taught in childhood that lying is not good.
2. Smile. It’s not only life that loves optimists. People are generally drawn to those who are successful and happy. I want to be infected with positivity from such interlocutors and stay in their company as long as possible. It is within your capabilities to become such an interlocutor.
3. It’s better to do it and regret it than not to do it and regret it. If you really like a guy, don't hesitate, go for it.
4. Find the right time; acquaintance should not take place on the fly. If a person is very busy, it will be difficult for him to find even five minutes. But you are interested in more.
5. There is no need to insist on communication or impose yourself , this will only push the guy away and leave him with unpleasant associations. Put yourself in his place and think about what emotions you would feel.

For a dating story to have a happy ending, you need to help her a little, and you already know how to do this.

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