Features and characteristic features of despotism. Ancient Eastern despotism. Despotism is...


How to help a despot and is it necessary to do so?

A despotic person does not disdain the desires of other people because they seem insignificant to him, but because he is afraid of losing his own importance in the eyes of other people.
At a consultation with a psychologist, where the issue of despotism of one of the spouses is raised in the name of saving the marriage, the specialist always first finds out the areas of non-realization of the aggressor’s own capabilities and then works in these directions. What does psychological therapy consist of with a person whose tyrannical tendencies have put family life in jeopardy:

eliminating the inferiority complex; concentration on the development of true virtues with gradual disposal of false ones; finding reference points for self-affirmation using existing abilities and talents; developing a respectful attitude towards others.

The key point in therapy is the moment when the oppressive person gains the ability to admit that he is wrong. In fact, this fact is considered one of the most important, since the tyrant always considers himself to be right, and his opinion to be unquestioningly true. When a person recognizes that in some situations the opinions of others may seem more valuable than his own, he can engage in dialogue and find compromises.

Unfortunately, not in all cases of turning to a specialist is it possible to transform a domestic despot into a person with a healthy attitude towards interpersonal communications. If a miracle does not happen, the only way out for the suppressed spouse from a traumatic relationship will be separation from the aggressor.

Causes of despotism

Despotism is not an innate trait and does not depend in any way on the characteristics of the nervous system and other physiological factors, but the prerequisites for its formation are laid quite early. The opinion that despotism is inherited is due to the fact that being raised by domineering parents who did not listen to the needs of the child, but only demanded unquestioning obedience, a person learns this model of behavior as the norm. In childhood, this quality has no particular place to manifest itself, since children are weak, but as they grow up, gain physical strength and master the moral methods of violence, manipulation and coercion, a person begins to implement a despotic form of interaction at all levels.

Despotism is subconsciously formed by the desire to take revenge on others for insults caused. For this, one case is not enough, usually it is being in a toxic relationship or being raised by similar methods. Insults, humiliations, and cruel punishments of a child can lead to the desire to punish not only the parents, but the whole world for remaining deaf and blind to his grief. But not only poor treatment can serve as a prerequisite for the development of despotism, but also excessive suggestion about the uniqueness, uniqueness of the child’s personality, his superiority over others. The opinion of parents is very important and shapes self-attitude; when entering the real world, such a person experiences stress from the fact that not everyone worships him, and someone openly ridicules his shortcomings. In such situations, the path chosen is to force the surrounding society to think and perceive one’s own personality within the usual framework.

For a despot, confirmation of his power becomes an obsessive neurotic idea, not saturated with need, since the methods of satisfying it are chosen inadequate. Psychological traumas must be carefully discovered in a safe environment, learned to look at them without horror and pain, and developed new ways of responding, recognizing such a history of one’s life. The despot's attempts to gain love and recognition are reminiscent of driving in lost hair with a hammer - it is painful, useless and requires enormous effort.

Who is a despot?

A despot is a person who does not recognize that others are right and achieves his goals through pressure and violence. He does not need evidence or arguments; he believes that he is right in any situation. Even in relationships with the closest and dearest people, he constantly resorts to violence, humiliation, revenge, mental pressure, gaslighting (what is this?) and other aggressive methods of influence.

X The only thing about despotism is that it is almost always directed at people whom the despot considers dear and important to himself. He himself often does not notice how cruel he can be.

A despot is a tyrant who imposes his will on others through force, influence and power. A boss can be a despot, but it is much worse when one of the family members turns out to be one. Psychology considers the theory that despotism is a natural human instinct that awakens under a certain set of circumstances. According to this theory, the desire to rule is present in each of us, but it manifests itself to varying degrees in everyone.

Psychologists identify three main components of despotism:

  • complete indifference to other people's feelings and opinions;
  • the desire to completely control another person;
  • the requirement of complete and constant self-obedience.

Despotism is capable of destroying any relationship, since a despot strives to completely deprive a partner of all rights, but allows himself almost everything. This happens in both love and friendship relationships.

Signs of despotism

In a society where the perception of violence and personal boundaries is violated, despotism can be perceived as a manifestation of character or even respected. People who were traumatized by the dependent type in childhood fall in love with despots and tyrants as adults, again without noticing the gross violation of their freedom.

One of the characteristic signs of despotism is the perception of physical and psychological violence as a norm of behavior and a way of regulating relationships. Such mechanisms are the main ones in interaction with a despot; he practically does not know how to ask, negotiate, or seek compromises.

Any type of violence is used when the partner’s behavior does not correspond to the desires of the despot, and at first he can demonstrate his dissatisfaction and give the other the opportunity to correct himself; if this does not happen as soon as possible, then the other will be punished (a blow to the face or a week of silence - it doesn’t matter). It is worth noting that the requirements for a partner’s behavior are often quite strange, and dissatisfaction will be caused by what others perceive as the norm

The thing is that anger is caused by any behavior or opinion that contains the individuality of another, and not his personal one.

Behaviors such as gaslighting often occur when a despot convinces another that everything bad is a figment of his imagination. They can talk for a long time about how cruel treatment was invented. And rudeness is perceived this way because of the unstable mental state of the despot’s victim herself. One’s influence and guilt are never acknowledged; on the contrary, another may be accused of manipulative hysterics, when in fact these are tears of pain. Humiliation and insults in front of others become the norm, and when trying to clarify relationships, a person may be accused of lacking a sense of humor, explaining such statements as a joke. So that a person does not have doubts about the inadequacy of his partner, his circle of friends is limited, and relatives and friends who could share their opinions gradually disappear.

Typically, despots try to completely destroy another person's self-esteem in order to have even more leverage to control. Although in the first stages of a relationship, on the contrary, they will sing your praises. The mechanism is something like this: a person gets used to receiving huge doses of compliments, so at the first criticism he will do everything to improve, then the criticism becomes more frequent, and the desire to correct the situation becomes stronger. As a result, you can discover an idea from which it is very easy to manipulate the consciousness of another: “in fact, I am terrible, it’s just that others don’t notice it, but this great person knows everything about me and continues to stay close.”

It is important that the despot will appropriate all victories to himself, and blame all defeats on his partner, while the other may even be blamed for his own troubles at work, a spoiled mood, and being stuck in a traffic jam. Attempts to appeal to an adequate perception of reality are useless

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Tyrannical regime

A tyrannical regime (Greek tyrannos - tormentor) is established, as a rule, in territory that has undergone military conquest. It is based on individual rule, but is characterized by the presence of the institution of a governor, and not the institution of a trusted person (vizier). The power of a tyrant is cruel. In an effort to suppress resistance, he executes not only for expressed disobedience, but also for discovered intent in this regard, that is, preventively, in order to sow fear among the population.

Taking possession of the territory and population of another country is associated, as a rule, with physical and moral violence not only against people, but also against the customs of the people. When new rulers introduce orders that are contrary to the way of life and thoughts of people, especially if they impose other religious norms, the people experience tyrannical power very hard (Ottoman Empire). Laws do not work because tyrannical authorities, as a rule, do not have time to create them.

Tyrannical rule is perceived by the people as oppression, and the tyrant as an oppressor. Such a regime also existed in the early stages of human development (Ancient World, Early Middle Ages). Compared to despotism, tyranny seems to be a slightly less harsh regime. The “mitigating circumstance” here is the fact of oppression of not one’s own people, but someone else’s.

Despot: who is it, reasons and signs

Powerful, strict rulers and family tyrants have something in common - a tendency towards despotism. A relationship with such a person is unbearable, causing pain and suffering. A despot demands total submission.

How to communicate with a despot

Despotism is dangerous. It is worth considering the situation of tyranny in the family:

  1. Children cannot satisfy their natural need for activity.
  2. The wife is afraid to stand up for them.
  3. The spouse and children are constantly subjected to unfounded attacks.
  4. Over time, all family members are destroyed as individuals.

You need to deal with such a person carefully. No matter how sad it may sound, you need to be silent and leave

If there were acts of violence or cruelty, report them to the police. The despot does not understand logic. His answer to everything will be rude and short.

However, living by the principle “it’s our fault, but dad is always right” is also wrong. It is necessary to recognize the problem, call a spade a spade, and unite with children and other family members. And then either leave, or endure, but not indulge.

In order not to aggravate the situation, if a person is despotic, it is recommended:

  • avoid criticism, especially public criticism;
  • restrain emotions;
  • do not blame the tyrant and do not point out his shortcomings and mistakes;
  • avoid generalizations like “you ruined our whole life”;
  • do not make retaliatory demands, reproaches, or threats.

It is pointless to appeal to conscience or condemn, shout, prove him wrong. It is not recommended to react with retaliatory aggression. All this will only provoke the tyrant. But you shouldn’t expect him to change or start reacting differently. Until the tyrant himself wants to change, no one will change him. Only himself and the help of a psychotherapist.

Is it possible to get rid of despotism?

The tendency to tyranny will not disappear on its own. And the less the despot receives rebuff from the outside, the stronger his belief in his own superiority and infallibility will take root.

You can correct your despotic character with the help of psychotherapy and medical treatment. The correction plan depends on the severity of the pathology. During psychotherapy, it is necessary to determine the root of the problem, work through the psychological trauma, and develop the correct methods of self-affirmation.

Despots build relationships with people who have a victim mentality. Their relationship is dependent. In psychology this is called the Karpman triangle. Thus, psychotherapy sessions are indicated for all participants in the relationship. Without a change in thinking, the victim will find a new tyrant or return the relationship to its previous course.

Despot, dictator, tyrant, autocrat, autocrat - who are they and what is the difference.

  • The dictator was originally just someone who gave orders. During the crisis in the Roman Empire, a "dictator" was someone like a chief magistrate, appointed and given absolute power, but only for the duration of a state of emergency. Later, a “dictator” became the head of state, again without any connotation of an “iron hand.” More generally, the word suggests despotic or totalitarian rule and is therefore rarely used in a neutral sense. In a dictatorship, power is concentrated in the hands of one person or a small group of people.
  • The word "tyrant" first appeared in the late 13th century with the meaning of "a king or ruler who uses his power in an oppressive, unjust or cruel manner; despot". But from the mid-14th century it also began to mean “ruler, prince.” Over time, the word acquired the meaning of “one who seizes supreme power in a state without legal rights; absolute ruler; usurper". The "tyrant" is distinguished from other absolute rulers, who come to power with some degree of legitimacy and then consolidate that power into absolutism.
  • An "autocrat" ("autocrat") rules an "autocracy" in which an individual or political party has complete power. Autocracy is characterized by the concentration of power in one center, be it an individual dictator or a group of power holders such as a committee or party leadership. This center relies on force to suppress opposition and limit social development that might lead to opposition. The power of the center is not subject to effective control and is not limited by real sanctions: it is absolute power. “Autocrat” is the original name of the Russian tsars. "Autocracy" is a form of domination established in the mid-15th century by Ivan the Great , who was merely Ivan III until he expelled the Mongols and created a new legal system and established tight control over the government. Catherine the Great was the first to call herself an "autocrat" in 1762 in her manifestos.

All of these names are also used in non-governmental contexts to describe people whose behavior we do not like. Sometimes these definitions overlap, and one term is often used to refer to another, but even as synonyms they carry slightly different connotations.

Causes of despotism

Despotic tendencies arise against the background of selfishness and egocentrism. These features are similar to each other, but have one difference. An egocentric person does not see the feelings and needs of other people, does not notice their suffering. The egoist sees the needs of other people, but he is ready to neglect them for the sake of his own goals. Many egoists are ready to go over people's heads for the sake of their own well-being.

However, despotism has even deeper roots:

  • childhood psychotrauma;
  • complexes;
  • education in conditions of authoritarianism or permissiveness;
  • inferiority complex;
  • low self-esteem;
  • fears;
  • diffidence;
  • grievances;
  • megalomania;
  • unmet needs;
  • lack of self-esteem;
  • unsatisfied need for self-realization.

Some psychologists cite psychological trauma associated with women as the cause. Relationships with your mother, your girlfriend, or any other woman can be traumatic.

What it is?

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec correctly noted that from the wound inflicted on the despot, a sea of ​​someone else’s blood flows. Despotism is an activity when a person who believes in his unlimited power cannot even believe that someone is capable of acting contrary to his wishes. From this he begins to show aggression, which is expressed in physical or psychological violence. This is exactly what is said about despotism in psychology. This is an acquired personality quality, which manifests itself in the desire to gain unlimited power.

On the other hand, the term “despotism” is used in political science. From the point of view of political science, despotism is a form of government when the state apparatus is in the hands of one person or group of people, and they have full right to control the destinies of their subjects. Simply put, despotism is unlimited power.

Let us touch upon the peculiarities of the power of a despot monarch

His position had nothing to do with the identification of the ruler and the state itself. It simply took its place among other mandatory institutions of power. Still, his power was not so unlimited. For example, the ruler was subject to many laws and rules established earlier. Yes, the ruler could establish new rules of life by issuing laws and decrees, but at the same time, these laws had some restrictions.

In particular, they should not contradict the fundamental principles of social life. India is a great example of this. Although the ruler could issue any decrees, they should in no case concern the violation of the caste system and the way of life of people, or issues related to faith. A very interesting question is who decided whether this or that law corresponds to the will of the gods or violates it. Even in Babylon, the laws adopted should not have conflicted with the traditional principles of law and order. Even the first set of laws was created as an attempt to protect traditional orders from new destructive phenomena in society.

I am a demigod

Despotism is believed to consist in the manifestation of unfavorable characteristics of the ego. As a result, this can lead to a loss of rational control over one’s behavior, and all actions will become subordinated exclusively to the affective sphere.

Autocratic behavior cannot stop on its own. The less resistance is offered to the despot, the more he will consider himself a demigod and will begin to demand the impossible as a matter of course.

There are no people who have not at least once turned into despots in order to achieve what they want from those around them, but if this becomes a stable line of behavior, then the person definitely needs specialist advice. After all, the main signs of mental disorders are considered to be uncontrolled violence, inadequate demands and assessment of reality.

Hierarchy of ancient Eastern society

Speaking about the society of the Ancient East, we cannot ignore such a social phenomenon as slaves. Most often this was the so-called domestic slavery, when the slave was the property of a huge family. In addition, slaves worked in temple complexes, in construction, and in the fields. Who became a slave?

In principle, anyone could become a slave. Most often, this social stratum was replenished by prisoners of war. But it also happened that a free person could become a slave. This is debt slavery. The larger and stronger the community became, the greater the scale of debt slavery. If we talk about slavery in general, then in Egypt and China at the turn of the 2nd-3rd centuries, markets were even created where only slaves were sold for every taste. Even a shepherd, gardener or average craftsman could afford to buy a slave. This is also part of the characteristics of despotism. All this indicates the enormous scale of the slave trade.

The main signs of classical despotism

At its core, despotism represents the absolute power of one person - the despot. In managing the population of the country, the ruler relied on the apparatus of state coercion and management - the army, police guards, and officials of various ranks.

Often, the unlimited power of a despot was explained by his divine origin, which resulted in his lifetime deification. Examples include the ancient Egyptian pharaohs, Japanese emperors, Aztec and Incas rulers. European monarchs, including Russian emperors, although they were not directly deified, were still considered “God’s anointed,” that is, people who had an exclusive, divine right to rule.

Modern historians identify several main features of despotism in the classical sense of the word:

  1. The unlimited power of a despot. The state does not have any sets of laws, constitution, or representative bodies that limit the power of the ruler.
  2. Lack of private property rights in the state. All material wealth, instruments of production, land and the people themselves inhabiting the country are considered the property of the despot.
  3. Transfer of power by inheritance. The hereditary ruler is appointed at the personal discretion of the despot, without taking into account the opinions of the people and immediate circle.
  4. Justification of a despot's right to power by his divine origin, or by the divine origin of his right to rule the country.
  5. The country is governed through a bureaucratic or aristocratic hierarchical system.

In his work “Politics,” the great ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle defines the power of a despot over his subjects as the power of a slave owner over his slaves. Meanwhile, in reality there were many exceptions to the above classical rules

So, in a number of cases, the despot could take into account the opinion of the people or his associates

True, such democratic deviations were temporary and caused by extreme necessity - a difficult foreign policy or economic situation, the threat of a revolutionary explosion, etc.

There were also reverse exceptions: in Rome, the emperor was legally considered a “principle” - “first among equals”, and all his important decisions for the state had to receive the approval of the Senate. In fact, the rule of emperors in most cases bore the character of despotism.

All despotisms had private property, but the rights to it were not secured by any laws. Thus, a craftsman or peasant in ancient Egypt or Persia could sell his goods, buy various utensils for his house, and raise livestock. But, since he himself was de facto the personal slave of the ruler. It was the will of the despot not only to take from his subject not only his property, wife or children, but also life itself.

Inheritance of power took place under despotism in the form of appointing a successor at one's own discretion. True, there were often exceptions to this rule. In a number of monarchies, there were unwritten rules of inheritance - from the eldest man in the family to the next in seniority, or from father to son. Violations of such traditions by the ruler often led to rebellion, palace conspiracies and civil wars. And in a number of early feudal despotates in Eastern Europe, the successor to the despot was appointed by their overlord - the Byzantine basileus.

Despotic political regime

A despotic regime (Greek despoteia - unlimited power) is characteristic of an absolute monarchy. In despotism, power is exercised exclusively by one person. But since in fact a despot cannot govern alone, he is forced to entrust some managerial affairs to another person who enjoys special trust in him (in Russia these were Malyuta Skuratov, Menshikov, Arakcheev). In the East, this person was called a vizier. The despot certainly left punitive and tax functions behind him.

The will of the despot is arbitrary and sometimes manifests itself not only as autocracy, but also as tyranny. The main thing in a despotic state is obedience, fulfillment of the will of the ruler. But there is a force capable of resisting the will of a despot, this is religion, it is also obligatory for the sovereign.

Despotism is characterized by the brutal suppression of any independence, discontent, indignation and even disagreement of the ruled. The sanctions applied in this case are shocking in their severity, and they, as a rule, do not correspond to the crime, but are determined arbitrarily. The main sanction most often used is the death penalty. At the same time, the authorities strive for its visibility in order to sow fear in the people and ensure their obedience.

A despotic regime is characterized by the complete lack of rights of its subjects, the absence of even basic rights and freedoms. We can only talk about satisfying physiological needs, and even then not to the fullest extent.

Characteristic features of eastern despotism

Firstly, this is the religious content of the power of the despot ruler. The monarch under despotism is considered a living god, his incarnation. Accordingly, his power was given by none other than the Almighty himself, and was absolute.

The monarch was considered the only judge, the measure of the legality of any act. Everything spoke about this: from the attitude towards the monarch to his title. Such a formulation of the problem of power was supposed to unite society. And she united. After all, if power is given to the monarch from above, if it is given to him from God, then it is simply useless to contradict the ruler. This is stupid, since divine power is by definition wise and aimed at the good of the people. That’s why the despot’s power held on; the people were simply afraid to go against their ruler. Moreover, he was considered none other than the high priest or head of the entire priestly hierarchy. Let us consider other characteristic features of despotism.

Let's consider the concept of “ancient eastern despotism”

The concept of eastern despotism comes from Herodotus, the father of history. He described a situation where rulers not only closed temples, large and small, but also forced the people to build huge, majestic tombs and tombs for themselves.


The concept of ancient Eastern despotism had certain features. Thus, the head of state, the arbiter of justice and the personification of universal law was the despot ruler. He was worshiped, he was deified, he was hated and feared. The form of government was, naturally, monarchical, and power was inherited. But the despot could not rule without relying on a powerful, ramified administrative apparatus. It was necessary in order to effectively manage a diverse society in which various strata had already formed, not to mention the emerging property inequality. In addition, already in ancient times, the society of the East took shape and acquired those features that can be traced even today. For example, it was differentiated, and each social layer not only had its place in the hierarchy, but also differed in its organization, rights and responsibilities. It was on such a foundation that the beginnings of despotism in the Ancient East could take shape and bloom wildly.

Characteristics of a male despot

A fairly common situation is when the husband and father turn out to be the despot in the family. Since the man is usually much stronger, such relationships are often accompanied by physical violence. In this case, the spouse often chooses the wrong tactics. She gives in to her husband in everything and tries in every possible way to please him, hoping that this way he will become kinder. Of course, this leads to the opposite effect, and such relationships cannot be called happy.

To understand who a despot is, it is important to take into account the fact that such a person himself often does not realize the despotic nature of his behavior. Imagine a situation: a husband loves his wife, never resorts to violence, tries to provide her with such conditions that she does not work, but sits at home and raises children. But if you dig deeper, it turns out that he is simply trying to deprive his wife of freedom and independence, completely subjugating her to himself. Even if a woman initially likes such a union, over time the dependence begins to irritate her, and her feelings for the once beloved man cool down

How does a despot act?

Despots usually act very subtly. The mechanism of influence on a person is something like this: at first, the despot will be a harmless little buffoon, ready to do anything. He will give a sea of ​​attention and compliments. Over time, a person gets used to admiration for himself, and then the despot begins to act, namely, to criticize. After the first criticism, a person does everything possible to improve. But then the criticism becomes much greater, and the victim’s desire to correct the situation increases in proportion to it. As a result, an idea is discovered that can easily control the consciousness of another person.

Also, it is important to note that a despot will appropriate all achievements for himself, and blame failures on his partner, and it is useless to appeal to an adequate perception of reality

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