Characteristic features of communication in preschool age

How does a child’s communication change throughout preschool age?

The need for communication is inherent in human nature. But this need has many nuances. At different age stages, communication performs its actual functions. The nature and motives of communication change even at such a short stage as preschool childhood.

Firstly, the circle of people with whom the child interacts is gradually expanding. First of all, these are adults who explain, help, and protect everything. But then the preschooler’s interest in communicating with children like himself becomes more active.

Secondly, the subject matter of communication changes. Communication based on practical actions is being replaced by mental communication. If a 3-4 year old child reaches out to his interlocutor to show what a beautiful dress a doll has or talk about a new car, then a five year old child can spend hours asking his “Why?”, simply walking next to his mother.

No improvised objects or toys are needed to ask where the sun sets, what the rainbow is made of, or why the chicken doesn’t fly. And all this interests children so much.

The progress of communication in preschool age continues further, introducing new motives for the need to communicate with adults or peers. Having bombarded their parents with questions about natural phenomena and learned something for themselves, children strive to share their knowledge with their peers. And adults are addressed with the next batch of questions - now about people’s relationships, professions, hobbies and other human subtleties.

Communication is the best opportunity to get to know the surrounding reality and yourself. This is one type of activity, which is why it is called a communicative activity. Preschoolers are involved in this activity. They are guided by different motives. Forms of communication in preschool age acquire an extra-situational character, since the development of cognitive processes and speech allows the child to reason abstractly, and not just about what he sees and hears at a particular moment.

Model of relationship with an aggressive child

The most difficult case in terms of pedagogy is when a child behaves aggressively towards other children or adults. He can fight, spit, call names, push, take away toys, shout with or without reason, and it can be very difficult to calm a bully down. Experts identify several reasons for this behavior:

• high or low self-esteem;
• lack of gaming skills;
• developmental delay;
• non-acceptance of the child by peers.

Parents usually don’t know how to communicate with 3-4 year old children who show aggression. The first rule is not to respond to anger with anger. Secondly, you need to identify the true reason for this behavior and try to eliminate it. A child cannot be left alone with negative emotions; he must learn to control and release them in a safer way, rather than taking them out on others.

Basic conditions for the development of communication in preschool age

Close people play a primary role in a child’s life, and the child’s involvement in communication depends on them. Unlike older children, any activity of preschoolers is directed by adults. The corresponding features of communication between preschool children are emerging:

• An adult gradually immerses the child in the knowledge and skills developed by many generations of humanity, and without which life is unthinkable.
• The child perceives adults as a model - how to behave, what feelings and qualities to show in various situations.
• When communicating with adults, the preschooler receives feedback in the form of support and praise.
• Communication with peers provides an opportunity for a child to get to know himself and realize that he is one of the same children.

Motives for communication among preschoolers

Let's find out what motives drive preschoolers when they initiate communication with an adult or peer. A 3-year-old child hands his dad parts of a construction set - this is already an invitation to interact. The 4-year-old “why” besieges his parents with questions about what and how. A 5-year-old preschooler sits his grandmother in a chair and declares that he will treat her. A 6-7 year old child declares that he will go play with Mishka, but he is not interested in playing with Vladik.

In any of these cases, a leading motive appears. , cognitive motives predominate . Children understand that adults can and know a lot, therefore, in addition to emotional attraction to adults, they are driven by cognitive interest.

In middle preschool age, children need play partners. They are attracted to story-based games that simulate everyday life.

And since the most efficient play partner is an adult, children love to involve the role of mothers, grandmothers and, less often, the male part of the family in playing the role. Let gaming activities take place, but business motives of communication predominate at this age.

Older preschoolers actively communicate with both adults and peers. They become selective in relation to their peers. They make friends with whom they are ready to play “mother-daughter”, football and any other game. But a category of children with whom they do not intend to communicate is also identified. And if you play in a team game, then on different teams. Personal motives come to the fore at this age stage .

6-year-old children also continue to approach adults with questions or a desire to hear evaluation and praise. Along with knowledge of the world, they are now often interested in issues of a moral nature. The motives for communication between preschool children and adults in such cases can also be attributed to personal ones.

Development of communication skills in preschool children

The communication need is special. It develops as a need to know oneself and other people. To satisfy this need, at least primary communication skills are important. What communication skills can we talk about at the age of 3-5 years?..

To guide your child in developing successful interactions, pay attention to how your child expresses himself when trying to communicate with similar kids. Communication among younger preschoolers is characterized by:

• Attention to a peer as someone “like myself.”
• Emotional perception of interaction with a peer.
• The desire to show oneself to one’s peers: what I can do, how I do it.
• Sensitivity and receptivity to how your little communication partner treats you.

All of the above components are important. When observing a child, it is easy for adults to notice what is present in abundance and what manifestations are completely absent. For example, if a preschooler is just demonstrating his achievements, you need to intervene and suggest: “Let’s see how a girl/boy can do...”, “You showed off your excavator, and now your friend wants to demonstrate how his cars drive.”

It is useful to regulate the emotional background of communication between preschoolers. For children who are frowning, their mood will be disturbed. Changes in emotions are facilitated by surprise. Figure out how to surprise the kids (by building an unusual tower, demonstrating the unobvious advantages of a familiar toy, etc.), and you will see how their mood will change positively and communication will begin.

If you instill a culture of interaction from early childhood, over time, younger preschoolers intuitively demonstrate such an important quality - paying attention to their communication partner. This is an opportunity to develop the child's communication skills.

Communication among older preschoolers is more multifaceted. After 5 years, children spend significant time with peers. They are connected by various activities that require communication.

This is a role-playing game, creativity, and productive activity. Interaction with others often takes the form of cooperation.

How successful the cooperation will be depends on each participant. In older preschool age, the development of communication skills is closely intertwined with the formation of moral qualities. Goodwill and attention to others, affability and friendliness, willingness to help each other and the ability to give in are qualities without which interpersonal relationships cannot be successful.

Children from birth to school: what do you need to know about them?

From the moment he is born until he goes to school, a child manages to experience several crisis stages of growing up at once. Each of them has its own level of psycho-emotional and intellectual development, and this must be taken into account when starting communication with the child.

If in early childhood a child’s communication occurs exclusively with the closest people who understand him perfectly, and he, as a rule, does not contact his peers, then, having matured a little, he begins to establish relationships with other individuals. This is a new stage for both him and his parents.

Children who previously lived exclusively within the circle of their family and were accustomed to a certain way of expressing themselves begin to socialize. As a result of communication with other children, their parents and just random adults, they expand their horizons and behavior. And here the child’s closest relatives are faced with a reasonable question: how to communicate with the child if he behaves differently, not the way they are used to?

Children experience several significant periods in their lives:

• infant – from birth to one year;
• junior – from one to three years;
• middle preschool – 4-5 years;
• senior preschool – 6-7 years old.

To make it easier for the child to transition from one stage to another, parents must adjust their attitude towards the child in time and calmly go through this difficult period, support and accept the child for who he is. Crisis periods come and go, but how quickly they end depends on the moms and dads themselves. They are obliged to explain to their child how to communicate with children in the yard, how to express their desires and feelings, because he simply does not know how to do this. Otherwise, he will have to figure everything out on his own, and here mistakes are inevitable. Subsequently, they can be expressed in antisocial behavior and various mental disorders.

Someone else's child

Separately, I would like to say a few words about how to communicate with children from an orphanage. This category of babies requires special attention. Most of them, at their age, have already had to endure terrible events, lose their parents, their home, and find themselves in a foreign and incomprehensible place. Such troubles do not pass without leaving a trace, so it is not surprising that a child in an orphanage may be distrustful or even embittered. When establishing contact with him, you need to be as open and honest as possible, and in no case should you curry favor with him or try to bribe him with actions or words. Only regular healthy communication will help establish communication with your child.

Touchy children: how to deal with them?

Resentment is a feeling that children learn to use even in early preschool age. This is how they try to manipulate both adults and peers, pretending to be offended, but some get so caught up in their “theatrical performance” that they begin to get offended more often than they are worth.

Preschool teachers know first-hand how to communicate with 3-4 year old children in kindergarten. Children at this age tend to show resentment, especially when they feel slighted or unappreciated. The peak development of this feeling occurs around the age of five. The most reasonable response to such pretentious behavior is to ignore it. However, it is important not to ignore the child himself, but not to pay attention specifically to his offense, and it is necessary to understand when he is trying to manipulate an adult, and when he really has a reason for suffering.

How to understand that a child has communication problems

It may seem that everything is fine with the student: normal grades, teachers do not complain about behavior, classmates do not offend. And at the same time, the child is unhappy. Perhaps it's because he can't make friends. Here are a few signs that make it easy to understand:

• the child is reluctant to go to school and returns from there sad;
• does not mention classmates in conversations;
• refuses to call or write to the guys if he needs to know his homework;
• no one invites the child to visit, and he himself does not invite anyone.

Why communication problems occur

The older generation often blames gadgets for this. In fact, children most often use smartphones and tablets just for communication: they discuss videos on TikTok, share content, and discuss on social networks.

And yet there are cases when a child prefers virtual communication because in reality it is difficult for him to find friends. This can happen for various reasons.

Reason 1. Shyness

Excessive timidity and indecisiveness do not allow the child to come up and talk to other children, take part in a game or answer at the board.

Solution: To meet people freely, you need to overcome shyness. For this, the child should not have problems with self-esteem. You can avoid them if you treat your child carefully, give him more independence, regularly notice his successes, and criticize only to the point and constructively.

Encourage your child’s desire to communicate and praise him for his courage. And never judge his personal qualities, only the act itself. The same information can be presented in different ways. Compare: “You didn’t say “thank you,” how rude, I’m ashamed of you!” or “Why didn’t you say “thank you”? Shy? There is no need to be shy, otherwise you might think that you are poorly brought up. But that’s not true, is it?” The second option will not harm the child’s self-esteem.

Reason 2: Family relationships

“Be silent when adults are talking!” - a child who constantly hears this will never learn to communicate.

Solution: Talk to your child on various topics, ask for his opinion, ask him to talk about what he saw on a walk or in a movie. A child who communicates a lot at home will find it easier to talk with peers. And if his participation in some conversation is undesirable, explain it gently: “We will definitely discuss everything with you later, but now we need to talk separately.”

If you maintain good relationships with others, invite friends to visit, and are caring and attentive to your loved ones, your child will develop the right ideas about how to communicate with other people. Excellent examples of friendship can be found in literature and cinema. Discuss the relationships of the characters and their actions - whether they acted correctly at one time or another, and what a child would do in their place.

Reason 3. Lack of communication skills

Other children avoid a child who does not know how to behave in society: he fights, takes things away, screams and does not listen to others.

Solution: This behavior is a reason to think about whether he is copying someone close to him or from TV. In any case, it is necessary to teach the child to communicate with peers. Tell us about the rules that must be followed so that other children want to be friends with him:

• do not offend others;
• do not take anything without permission and do not beg for it;
• if you want to join the game, ask, but if they refuse, don’t force yourself;
• share what you like;
• if you are entrusted with a secret, keep it;
• do not put yourself above others;
• consider other people's interests;
• if a friend is in trouble, help in any way you can;
• if a friend starts something bad, stop him;
• if you yourself did something bad, admit it and don’t do it again;
• take help and advice from other guys.

Empathy will help your child understand how others feel, and emotional intelligence will help you understand your own feelings. Help your child develop these qualities - they are indispensable for civilized communication.

Reason 4. Bad experience

The child tried to make new acquaintances, but encountered rudeness or, through negligence, behaved badly. Now he is offended, angry and refuses to communicate with other children.

Solution: The child must learn to solve such problems on his own, but at first he will need help. Discuss what happened in detail. Let him understand that resentment and anger will not help improve the situation. Explain who, where and why was wrong, and how to avoid repeating the situation.

Allowing a child to learn from his mistakes does not mean leaving him alone with the problem.

Reason 5. Inability to stand up for yourself

Often children are raised with the idea that they need to be obedient and kind to everyone. There are situations when this can turn against the child. For example, he cannot resist the aggression of other children and is led by their teasing. As a result, the child becomes disillusioned with communication and prefers loneliness.

Solution: The child must be prepared for the fact that not all children will treat him well. It will not be possible to protect your son or daughter from all troubles, but you can teach them how to react to them correctly.

Teach your child to say “no” in situations where his boundaries are violated or he is asked to participate in dubious activities. Explain that it is better to respond to name-calling with humor - this often discourages offenders. And never be the first to get into a fight, but defend yourself if there is no other choice.

Reason 6. Lack of social circle

None of the classmates share the child’s interests, or he himself is not interested in communicating with them.

Solution: Help your child find friends elsewhere. Visit child development centers, theater studios, sections and clubs - your child will get along better with children who love the same things as he does.

Keep games at home that you can play with a group and invite children to visit, meet their parents.

The main thing is to choose your social circle unobtrusively. If a child does not want to communicate with some boy or girl, he has the right to do so.

An egocentric child – a problem or a prospect?

Another variant of a difficult character is children who are fixated on themselves. They do not see anyone around, they tend to assert themselves at the expense of others. Such a child always tries to get closer to adults, while he will demonstratively show all his strengths, flaunt the shortcomings of other children, expecting praise from parents, teachers, and just acquaintances.

Many of these qualities are supported in society, because if you kill the spirit of competition and ambition in a child in the bud, he will not be able to achieve outstanding results as an adult. But here it is important not to go too far and not to instill in the child the belief that no one will ever be able to surpass him. Parents should make it clear to their child that there will always be a person in life who can do something better than him, but this is not a reason to give up and give up. Relatives should set up their child in such a way that he stops comparing himself with others and manages to overcome the painful perception of other people's successes.

How to communicate with children: practical advice for parents

To summarize, here are some useful recommendations, following which you can quickly and easily find a common language with kids:

• no matter how small the child is, there is no need to belittle his age even more; on the contrary, the opinion of children must be taken into account, even if they are only two or three years old, listen to their desires and requests, but not be guided;
• it is important that parents are sincerely interested in the life of their child;
• you cannot let children’s words pass your ears - if the child is not heard several times, he will stop talking to the adult;
• When building a dialogue with a child, it is better to move away from the arrogant and patronizing manner of communication, because children are not as stupid as many adults think.

And most importantly, always love your children!

How to deal with a shy baby?

Excessive modesty and timidity can also become problems in life. If parents do not help their child cope with shyness, it will be difficult for him to be in a group, meet new people, communicate with them, and express himself. All this will have a bad effect on the child’s emotional state - suppress him, make him feel awkward.

When establishing communication with such kids, it is important not to put pressure on them, not to rush them, but to give them the opportunity to open up. Usually, by the age of 6-7, children's shyness subsides on its own, but if this does not happen, parents should try to increase the child's self-esteem, switch him from himself to others, create a safe environment around him in which he can forget about his constant worries and fears .