Love at 14 years old: features of feelings in adolescence, manifestations of sympathy

Teenage love is the earliest experience of romantic feelings, caused by changes in hormonal levels and restructuring of social interaction. These sensations are the most vivid and force you to do rather risky things and not to trust your elders about the fleeting nature of sensations. This happens due to the lack of romantic experience, the perception of what is happening as something magical, eternal and unique.

Criticism of what is happening is reduced, because the teenager lacks practical skills in experiencing love feelings, choosing a suitable partner and a general assessment of the situation.

Stories of teenage love often have a sad ending precisely because they are designed to provide a certain life and mental experience, to initiate the maturity of the spiritual world, and only a small percentage of couples are able to carry the emerging first feeling through the rest of their lives.

Problems of teenage love arise due to the fact that people have not yet decided on their own personality, life path, but are already trying to make the final choice of a companion - as a result, the paths can diverge so far that you can find next to you a completely stranger, stranger, and sometimes and an unpleasant person.

The meaning of teenage love comes down to learning your new physiological reactions and immersing yourself in the world of pleasure. Along with the new opportunities provided by puberty, adolescence also gives more freedom, and the joy of night walks, first alcoholic parties and independent travel, shared with someone, increases many times over. If such a new way of life is shared by a companion of the opposite sex, then the feeling of independence and adulthood is overwhelming.

The psychology of teenage love is similar to an epidemic, when after the first couple formed, literally within a week, several more appear, and then all the classes and neighboring yards are divided into lovers. A similar effect is associated with a strong desire to imitate in teenagers - they copy adults, favorite performers, movie heroes, and if you look closely at the walking teenagers themselves, you will notice a small percentage of individuals; usually the whole group looks and wears the same thing.

Teenage love is a manifestation of one’s own attractiveness, and many are just waiting for the ban from their peers to subside and being friends with the opposite sex becomes cool, not shameful. At the same time, there are couples created on the principle of finding social positions in the topic - when a person understands that it is now fashionable to start dating someone simply for the sake of maintaining his image (very similar to how in childhood they demanded a toy that they had everyone).

However, the difference in the reasons for the relationship or simply the appearance of a feeling of love, and regardless of the ending (a romantic wedding or misfortune and six-month depression), it is teenage love that helps to learn many basic and extremely necessary things. In such relationships, the ability to listen to a partner, notice other people’s desires and give them freedom develops; communication skills develop, namely the ability to deepen a conversation, develop its interest and build a dialogue so that the other person can open up and become closer.

Teenage love at 14

The feeling of falling in love is a mandatory stage that is associated with a person’s growing up. For some, these emotions remain warm and tender memories for the rest of their lives, while others are sad because the relationship did not work out. It also happens that teenage love develops into true love, which lasts for decades, or even a lifetime. They say about such people that they are real lucky ones.

Often, parents of teenagers begin to panic when they notice signs of falling in love in their child. This happens because people tend to forget about their past experiences. Of course, parents in such a situation can be perfectly understood. They tend to worry about the safety of their child. But we must try to understand him, since right now the teenager begins the process of gaining experience communicating with the opposite sex.

He's All That (2021)

A modern film in the melodrama genre, released in 2021, is another version of Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion and a remake of the 1999 cult teen film She’s All That. Tik Tok star Edison Rae plays almost herself here - blogger and school star Padgett Sawyer. On the eve of graduation, she scandalously breaks up with her equally popular boyfriend. To wipe his nose, the heroine decides to raise a worthy companion for the school prom from the quiet and loser Cameron.

Selection on the topic: 25 best films about school and teenagers

Trailer
Original title : He's All That Actors : Addison Ray, Tanner Buchanan, Annie Jacob... Country : USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.0, IMDb – 4.3 Age restrictions : 18+

First love at 14 years old and its features

It is so arranged that the feeling of falling in love is built on instincts. The boy likes girls. And when he starts his first relationship, he is incredibly interested in it. The emotions received from communicating with the object of adoration resemble a state of mild euphoria. And I want to stay in it as long as possible.

Moreover, teenagers tend to love this state much more than the person who contributes to its development. This means that in order to prevent the loss of the feeling of “butterflies in the stomach,” a teenager tends to idealize his lover so that the relationship does not come to naught. This state of affairs is the absolute norm and almost everyone goes through it.

Time Freak (2018)

A talented physics student was suddenly dumped by his girlfriend, breaking Stillman's heart. But the enterprising hero of the fantasy melodrama is not going to give up. With the help of his friend Evan, the physicist constructs a time machine to go back in time, correct his own mistakes in his relationship with Debbie, and bring her back. The idea is a success - the young inventors move back a year, but the adjustment of the past days leads to new trials that, instead of strengthening, can completely destroy both the romantic and friendly union.

30 films about time travel

Trailer
Original title : Time Freak Actors : Asa Butterfield, Sophie Turner, Skyler Gisondo... Country : USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.2, IMDb – 5.8 Age restrictions : 16+

Teenage love - hormonal changes

First love at the age of 14 often occurs due to the fault of biological processes in the body. During this period, teenagers tend to look closely at the opposite sex. Therefore, it is not surprising that it is at this age that the first love occurs.

Most schoolchildren are excited by the anticipation of this feeling. They don’t yet know when and where it awaits them, but they are really looking forward to it. Therefore, first love is very desirable and necessary for every person. Feeling teaches teenagers to worry, to experience passion.

Parents need to understand that if your child has not fallen in love or suffered from unrequited love, and also does not worry about the absence of this feeling, then this is not always good. After all, it is better to feel your first love at this age.

Summer Camp (2021)

The melodrama musical introduces the viewer to a teenager named Will. The guy has problems with the law, so he finds himself in a difficult situation. He is faced with a choice - to end up in a prison for juvenile delinquents or attend a Christian summer camp. The choice is obvious, and Will goes to a place that will become his home, where he will make friends and meet his first love.

Regarding boys

At the age of 14, girls already understand love as a feeling. And the boys, it would seem, behave absolutely illogically, and sometimes even very strangely. Initially, they tend to express their feelings rather rudely. The thing is that they do not yet know how to cope with these emotions and what happens to them. This is how love manifests itself at 13–14 years old.

Fear and inability to express their feelings can make them look quite stupid. They tend to pinch or push the girl they like or ask her a lot of stupid questions. Moreover, in front of his beloved, he can behave very defiantly, trying to attract attention or look like a real hero in her eyes. It’s also common for male teenagers to stare at the girl they like for a long time. Then approach her and “accidentally” touch her.

Chemical Hearts (2020)

17-year-old Henry Page is in a very romantic mood, having watched enough films about teenage love. However, the student devotes his own heart and his spiritual fervor to creating a school wall newspaper. When a new girl joins the editorial staff in his senior year, Henry decides that he has met the one and only one. But Grace is not pleased with the attention of her boyfriend, she is generally sad for the most part, avoids school parties and for some reason walks with a cane, limping. A young romantic will have to find out what tragedy of the past is gnawing at his beloved.

Similar selection: 30 films that a teenager should watch

Trailer
Original title : Chemical Hearts Actors : Lili Reinhart, Austin Abrams, Sarah Jones... Country : USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 5.9, IMDb – 6.3 Age restrictions : 16+

What about girls?

While boys at the age of 14 may not yet understand love as a feeling, girls understand everything very well. Therefore, most people already know very well: if a boy pesters her, constantly looks at her and pesters her, then it is obvious that he has fallen in love. And girls, to whom boys do not pay attention, even if in a rather strange way, often get offended and feel deprived of attention. Often they themselves try to attract attention to themselves or provoke the guy they like to do this.

Sometimes it happens that a girl who is being actively courted by a guy responds by completely ignoring him. But at the same time, he does not give up, unconsciously leaving hope. But she continues to avoid communicating with him, because so far none of them understands how to behave in a state of love. There is also a lack of understanding of how to communicate about these feelings.

Often girls are very assertive in trying to please their lover. They laugh loudly in his presence and may call or tease the object of their adoration. Shy and modest girls tend to behave differently. They try to attract the attention of their lover with new clothes or hairstyle. They may also “accidentally” sit at the same desk with him during class.

Club "School" (2018)

Liam is a gifted child who manages to go to school for the first time only at the age of sixteen. Previously, he had to study at home under the supervision of his watchful mother Claire. Now, despite his fears, the boy is trying to join the circle of his peers. Like any teenager, Liam dreams of true friendship, incredible adventures and first love, which he knows about only from films. Will a shy “home boy” be able to find happiness among his peers?

See also: 25 TV series about teenagers and love

Trailer
Original title : Public Schooled Actors : Daniel Doheny, Judy Greer, Siobhan Williams... Country : Canada, USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 5.9, IMDb – 5.9 Age restrictions : 18+

Even older

Love at the age of 14–15 takes on completely different forms. Teenagers are ready to speak openly among themselves. They already perfectly understand their feelings and are aware of emotions. At this age, stupid “tackles” in the form of pinching or loud laughter become inappropriate.

Girls and boys are seriously concerned about how to approach a person, as well as what topic to start a conversation on, so as not to seem boring or intrusive.

This is a very important stage in the development of a teenager, when he begins to realize that the person he likes may not be ideal. During this period, girls learn how to properly accept advances, and boys learn how to care.

To All the Boys I've Loved Before (2018)

The top best films for teenagers about love and school continue with a melodrama with comedy elements about a high school girl writing messages to the boys who aroused her unrequited sympathy at different periods of her life. Lara Jean neatly puts the letters in a box, not even thinking about sending them. Among the targets was Josh, who is now dating Lara's older sister. Realizing this fact, the schoolgirl is very worried. One day, a younger sister stumbles upon a secret box and sends letters to the recipients.

Worth watching: 40 of the best romantic comedies

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Original title : To All the Boys I've Loved Before Actors : Lana Condor, Noah Centineo, Janel Parrish... Country : USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 7.0, IMDb – 7.1 Age restrictions : 12+

The benefits of teenage love

Some couples may last only a few weeks or months. But despite this, such relationships are already beneficial for both parties. In conditions of confidential contact, it is easier for people to recognize each other. They can share their fears, dreams and plans for life. In addition, there is a comparison with the experience of another person. And it is important to understand that without feelings such equivalent communication is simply impossible.

While in a relationship, a teenager learns:

Talk not only about your hobbies and interests, but also listen to your interlocutor. And also give a huge amount of time to your partner so that he can speak out.
They try not to overload each other with their problems and life troubles.
Create a conversation in such a way that it becomes more confidential. To do this, questions are asked about possible problems and personal experiences.
Learns to talk about feelings, and not just about current situations and events.
And also smoothly move from conversation to hugs and kisses.

That is, a person in such a relationship tends to acquire many important skills that he will need throughout his life.

Sierra Burgess: Loser (2018)

Sierra Burgess is on the list of the school's best students, but this circumstance does not add to her popularity. The excellent student does not have a bright appearance, as her spectacular classmate Veronica regularly reminds her of. Sierra tries not to react to ridicule, focusing on her main goal - getting into Stanford University.

Meanwhile, Veronica meets a charming student from a nearby school. Deciding to play a prank on her classmate, she gives Jamie Sierra's phone number. The guy starts communicating via SMS with Burgess, mistaking her for a bright beauty whom he recently met. Sierra understands the catch, but, having fallen in love by correspondence, she does not dare reveal the truth.

Trailer
Original title : Sierra Burgess Is a Loser Actors : Shannon Purser, Christine Froseth, RJ Cyler... Country : USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.4, IMDb – 5.8 Age restrictions : 12+

State your feelings

How to confess your love to a girl at 14 years old? At this age, shyness takes over. This is often associated with the fear that the object of adoration may reject feelings. To overcome feelings of self-doubt, you need to think through the worst-case scenario.

Possible refusal options should be considered. And understand for yourself whether it will really be so scary to get rejected. Perhaps in your situation this will seem like a complete trifle, of which there can be many in life.

Of course, refusal is always painful and unpleasant to hear. Moreover, your feelings may end there. Sometimes teenagers tend to deceive themselves. It seems to them that they are afraid to confess their love. But in fact, behind this lies a reluctance to bother a person who most likely does not have mutual feelings.

It is important to understand the situation and understand that absolutely any reaction of this person does not depend solely on you. And accepting recognition or rejecting it is solely a choice of the individual based on her feelings and emotions. And it is unlikely that this decision will change radically after your confession. But until a teenager takes the first step to express his feelings, he will not know the answer to his question.

Now recognition can be done using instant messenger or social networks. In addition, you can do this anonymously. And then everything depends on the girl’s reaction.

The Perfect Date (2019)

A smart and ambitious American high school student could well count on entering Yale University, but Brooks has no money to study. Life itself suggested a way out of the situation. One day, a friend asks a teenager to accompany his sister to graduation, and Brooks copes with this mission with a bang. Having decided to put a paid service on stream, a young man, together with a programmer friend, creates an application for a smartphone, where rich girls can engage him to go to any event. Things are going brilliantly, but how can you not miss true love in a series of customers?

Can teenagers' love be called real?

You can often hear from psychologists that love at this age is only a rehearsal of a real feeling. Despite the fact that teenagers awaken the need to get closer and maintain relationships on a romantic note. In fact, for them their own interests and experiences always come first. Therefore, it is customary to say that schoolchildren are attracted not so much by a cute object of the opposite sex, but by the emotions received from the feelings that he experiences.

This stage of “love egoism” is a completely normal development process.

It should be noted that true love at 14 years old is quite rare. Most often, this age is typical for fleeting hobbies and short-term love. But this does not in any way affect the strength and quality of emotions that teenagers tend to experience.

Therefore, parents should not tell their children that this is all a temporary phenomenon that does not apply to true love. And also emphasize that such feelings do not arise at 14 years old and so on. In such a situation, you need to take your child's feelings seriously. But under no circumstances should you panic or sound the alarm, but try to support the teenager.

To all the boys: PS I love you (2020)

The story from the first part about shy Lara Jean's love letters accidentally sent to recipients ended happily. School star Pete Kavinsky responded to the confession and began a whirlwind teenage romance with corresponding attributes like the first kiss and Valentine's Day. But Lara Jean is overtaken by another belated answer to the explanation, authored by 6th grade sweetheart John Ambrose McClaren. The girl realizes that she is still not indifferent to him, and in an interesting film about school love, the problem of choosing between two teenagers arises.

This is interesting: 30 best comedies for teenagers

Trailer
Original title : To All the Boys: PS I Still Love You Actors : Lana Condor, Noah Centineo, Jordan Fisher... Country : USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.3, IMDb – 6.0

Parents' reaction

As you know, the feeling of falling in love affects almost all teenagers. And a rather difficult period begins for parents, because it is undesirable to interfere in this process. But despite this, it is necessary to remember that feelings can lead to sad consequences.

Trying to help, parents begin to actively ask the teenager about his personal life. The student, in turn, perceives this as an attack on his personal boundaries of freedom. Many conflicts arise on this basis, which are easier to prevent than to resolve later. Unable to withstand long resistance, parents begin to take extreme measures and forbid the child to communicate with the object of adoration. And in this situation, few people pay attention to the damaged relationship with their own child, believing that soon everything will get better on its own.

This is a rather difficult period for both the child and the parents. However, it is important to understand that parents must support their child. You can talk about your first love, share your opinion about the object of your child’s adoration, and it is also very important to let the teenager have his own experience. But all this should happen within reason, since the safety of your own child should be above all else.

To All the Boys: With Love... (2021)

Netflix's new adaptation of Jenny Han's best-selling teen novels is the final film in the Lara Jean Covey trilogy. After traveling to her homeland in South Korea, the emotional girl thought about her future. A high school student needs to decide on her further education and her relationship with her boyfriend. Where to go after graduation, and how will the romance with Peter end if they go to different universities?

More new products: 25 cool melodramas of 2022

Trailer
Original title : To All the Boys: Always and Forever Actors : Lana Condor, Noah Centineo, Janel Parrish... Country : USA Rating : Kinopoisk – 6.4, IMDb – 6.3 Age restrictions : 18+

Casa Grande

Drama.
Brazil, 2014.
Duration: 115 minutes.
IMDb: 6.9.

Brazilian drama about love, society and the difficulties of adolescence. The story is made up of many amazing, beautifully shot scenes depicting forbidden teenage love and the pain of falling down the social ladder.

The plot centers on young Jean, who is forced to adapt to new living conditions in a situation of almost complete ruin of his once wealthy parents. A new friend, Louise, whom he meets on public transport, helps him cope with this difficult period.

Importance to each other

It has long been accepted that a man takes the first step to develop a relationship. However, it is the woman who pushes him to this act. For this purpose, a smile, a glance, and gestures are used.

Without gentle feedback, a man will not be able to feel comfortable. Although the “stronger sex” rejects sentimentality, it is important for him to feel his importance and to be in demand for the woman he loves.

Every goal he achieves speaks not only of his efforts, but also of the support and faith of his partner.

Likewise, a woman depends on the male presence. Without love, a woman not only feels worse, but also undergoes changes in appearance, in her attitude towards things and people around her, and ceases to enjoy life. She needs tender feelings as much as a woman’s support for a man.

As a result, a woman creates conditions for a man, and he, in turn, creates safe conditions for her and gives her confidence in the future. Both sexes depend on each other, which is why some people are literally attracted to each other.

Spring love aggravation

At school age, falling in love is a massive, rapidly spreading phenomenon. Especially often the wave of love rises in the spring. If a boy and a girl appear in the class, seriously passionate about each other, then you will soon find that there are more and more couples in love.

This happens not so much because the time has come and feelings have awakened. This is just how you can rise in the eyes of your classmates (and in your own eyes), feel more significant, and catch the envious glances of girlfriends or boyfriends who have not yet had this. But this usually has little relation to real love experiences.

Submarine

Drama, melodrama, comedy.
UK, USA, 2010.
Duration: 97 minutes.
IMDb: 7.3.

A stylish film adaptation of Joe Dunthorne's debut novel with very young actors in the lead roles. Unknown at the time, Craig Roberts and Yasmine Paige play a couple of classmates: Oliver and Jordan, who are going through many internal turmoil in the choppy waters of first love.

Oliver is a young intellectual who reads Nietzsche and is convinced of his own genius. And he faces two primary tasks: to save his parents’ marriage and to lose his virginity before his next birthday.

The visual appearance of rainy Wales in the 1980s and the thinking of the characters who are wise beyond their years invite direct comparison with the vibrant works of Wes Anderson.

Rock'n'rollers

Sing Street

Musical, drama, comedy.
Ireland, USA, UK, 2016.
Duration: 106 minutes.
IMDb: 7.9.

Conor Lawlor's parents from Dublin are on the verge of divorce. Due to financial difficulties, the teenager is transferred from a prestigious private school to a public school, where he encounters rudeness and ignorance. But soon Conor falls in love and, trying to conquer the girl, forms a rock band.

The film heavily references teen movie classics in the style of The Breakfast Club and other works by John Hughes. Fans of eighties pop culture will definitely like it.