Most people don't seem to take punctuality seriously. Being five, ten or even thirty minutes late is considered quite normal. People console themselves with studies that prove that unpunctual people are more creative. This allows them to not feel guilty about keeping the other person waiting and wasting their time.
In fact, unpunctuality reveals all the shortcomings of a person.
Late guest
Imagine this situation: you are planning a special event. You sent out invitations to guests for a dinner party, visited all the stores in search of delicacies, stood at the stove for half a day, and set a luxurious table. Finally, all preparations are completed and you are looking forward to the arrival of your guests. Everyone arrives at the appointed time, except for one person. Of course, this is very upsetting for you as the owner. You can’t find a place for yourself and are wondering what to do with the rest of the guests.
What is punctuality
What does the word “punctuality” mean and what is it in a person? The name is derived from the Latin word punctum, which translates as “point”. You've probably heard the expression "He's got a thing for this." In essence, this is the meaning of the word “punctuality”: a punctual person has one or more points. The intensity of punctuality varies and this directly affects a person’s behavior. When there are too many points, he turns into a bore.
Interesting! From a psychological point of view, excessive punctuality is the result of an increased need for control and a sign of increased anxiety and neurosis.
Behavior rules
Of course, such behavior on the part of an unpunctual friend indicates that he does not respect either you or your time. However, now is not the right time to give vent to anger and aggression. Think about the fact that you have other guests who need your attention. After all, it was you who invited them to the celebration.
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To avoid spoiling the event, do the following:
- Tell your guests that you are expecting one more person and ask them to wait ten to fifteen minutes. If possible, you can use a little trick: without saying anything, quietly distract people. For example, give a tour of the house or help arrange tables.
- If after fifteen minutes the guest has not arrived, start the meal as if nothing had happened. A friend who is late will be able to join you when he arrives.
- When an unpunctual guest appears on the doorstep, calmly accept his apology. If he begins to make excuses and explain in detail the reason for being late, do not reproach, but listen with sympathy. After that, return to the rest of the guests. Don't retell the story of your friend who was late. Continue your meal as if nothing happened.
For the future: if you have already been convinced more than once that your friend never arrives on time, assign him a different, earlier time. For example, dinner starts at 19:00, but tell him to arrive at 18:30. The whole point is that the friend should not know that other people will be meeting at 19:00. With this trick, you won’t have to force others to wait for an unpunctual friend. However, remember that this trick only works once. When the truth is revealed, the next time your friend will know for sure that you are telling him the wrong time, and therefore he may be late again.
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If the unpunctual person is a close friend, have a serious conversation with him and tell him how much his behavior upsets you. Perhaps he himself will draw the appropriate conclusions so as not to spoil the relationship with you.
Advantages and disadvantages of punctuality
Accuracy, organization, responsibility, hard work, conscientiousness - these are the synonyms people choose for the word “punctuality”. However, everything is good in moderation. There are situations when a person becomes a slave to punctuality. For example, when careful handling of things and a love of cleanliness turns into OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Or when, due to being a few seconds late, a person is ready to walk away from a deal or take it out on a loved one.
The benefits of punctuality
This trait is highly valued in both business and personal relationships. People who are never late and don't bother meeting deadlines make a good impression on most people they know. It is impossible to list all the benefits of punctuality. However, a person who responsibly treats other people’s and his own time always receives such benefits as:
- Respect and trust of friends;
- good chances for career growth;
- complete control over your own life;
- inner peace, faith in the future;
- a high self-evaluation;
- maximum performance.
Many people consider punctuality to be a key indicator of a person's trustworthiness. And in some cultures, this trait is a mandatory requirement for business partners (the Japanese and Germans generally do not do business with people who are late for business meetings). Interestingly, the tardiness of other people irritates even those who themselves do not know how to properly manage their time.
Disadvantages of Punctuality
Undoubtedly, punctuality is very useful. It makes a person more efficient and productive, makes others respect him and provides many other benefits. But there are also some disadvantages. The most notable disadvantages of punctuality are:
- Punctual people are demanding of others, which makes them look like strict and callous bores;
- They perceive others' tardiness as a lack of self-esteem; it affects relationships and sometimes their self-esteem;
- Punctual people who clearly plan their activities may find it difficult to adapt to dramatically changing circumstances;
- In some cases, punctuality can lead to neurosis;
- A punctual person can become a despot in the family, demanding that loved ones do everything with precision.
People who know what punctuality is do not understand how you can miss a deadline or be 10 minutes late for a meeting. Even a slight delay is perceived by them as a sign of disrespect and can be perceived as a personal insult. Their ability to use time wisely and get their work done efficiently often makes them the boss. As a result, subordinates are forced to constantly work under pressure from a pedantic, dictatorial director, and this rarely contributes to a healthy work environment.
Every person can adopt some rules of punctuality for themselves.
Ruined weekend
Another situation: you invited a guest for the weekend. We also prepared many delicious dishes, cleaned the house, and put ourselves in order. All that remains is to wait for a friend to arrive. Five, ten, twenty minutes, half an hour pass - and no one comes. You begin to worry, remembering the last conversation. Perhaps your friend got the time wrong or simply forgot. An hour later you already understand that it is useless to wait and there will be no guests. Just when you have come to terms with the fact that your invitation has been ignored, the doorbell suddenly rings. And here is the “long-awaited” guest.
An example of a punctual person from my life
Punctuality manifests itself in different ways, for example, sometimes it is noticeable in specific conditions or in one area. I have a friend who does not live according to a schedule, does not make plans for the day, can afford spontaneous meetings or other spontaneous actions, but at the same time she is very punctual in work matters:
- first and always submits reports on time;
- leaves the house with plenty of time;
- responds to all messages with lightning speed (however, lately she has been doing this less and less on weekends and has almost stopped staying late at work or going out after hours);
- demanding of herself and others;
- adheres to a certain order on the desktop and scolds everyone who moves or takes something there.
There is practically no such thing in everyday life, only the desire to arrange objects on tables remains. And she always has her clock set a little forward.
Despite this, she may be late for a meeting with friends. But at the same time, she will come with plenty of time to a concert or other friendly meeting that requires strict adherence to time frames. So punctuality can be like that.
Rules of communication
It's hard to pull yourself together when faced with such blatant bad manners. However, there is no point in completely spoiling your mood with quarrels and showdowns. Take a deep breath, be patient and do the following:
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- Friendly greet the guest at the door, invite him to enter, and give him a short tour of the house.
- Invite to the table. If you've already shared a meal with your household or ate dinner alone, offer the person a snack. Serve with what's left.
- If the guest does not explain the reason for being late, say that you expected him to arrive earlier. This will give him the opportunity to apologize and explain his behavior. Perhaps force majeure circumstances have arisen, which he will tell you about.
Do not accuse or insult a person under any circumstances, otherwise a serious conflict is inevitable. The guest will begin to defend himself and reproach you for something. A verbal altercation will only make the situation worse. Just draw conclusions for yourself and decide for the future whether you need to invite such a person to visit you on the next weekend or holiday.
Rules for a punctual person
The behavior of a punctual person can be different, it all depends on the “punctuals”. However, there are also common features and rules of life:
- Make a schedule for the day, week, month. Many punctual people carry a diary and reminders on their phone.
- Refuse unnecessary things. This includes not only the obvious exclusion of social networks, but also, for example, refusing to fulfill a friend’s request if it does not fit into the schedule.
- Pack your things and think through everything in advance. A punctual person would rather come to a meeting early than be late.
Punctuality is closely related to a sense of duty and responsibility. A punctual person rationally evaluates his abilities and does not go beyond his personal limit of tasks for the day.
Punctuality at work
A person with healthy punctuality makes an excellent employee and boss. However, a lot depends on the sphere of work - it will be difficult for such a person to be creative. But he feels great in production, working with papers, reports, and machines. For example, being a chef, he will never deviate from the technological map. A punctual person will never be late for work, but he will also not stay late or work on his day off.
People with excessive punctuality become tyrannical bosses and bad employees. They do not know how to deviate from rules and instructions, which is why they sometimes stall the process or delay the completion of tasks. In practice, it often happens that you have to be smart, deviate from the primary course, and bypass the system of rules. I think there is no need to talk about working with a flexible or unstable schedule - punctuality will not allow a person to get such a vacancy.
We will consider other advantages and disadvantages of punctuality in a separate paragraph.
Effective Phrases
If you value your relationship with an unpunctual friend, you can use simple methods to deal with his tardiness. Take into account the following phrases:
- “We start our meal at 19:10. If you don’t make it by this time, you will remain hungry.”
- “You are always late for our meetings. Don't you like this kind of pastime? Be honest, we will find another person to take your place.”
- “If you want, I can pick you up so we can arrive on time.”
- “Latecomer pays for drinks” (you can come up with any “fine” at your discretion).
Unreliability
If a person is constantly late, how can you entrust him with important work that must be completed on time? Constant lateness undermines authority, so unpunctual people are not trusted. Who likes to deal with an unreliable person who cancels an appointment at the last minute or postpones it for an hour, informing you about it after you've already arrived?
It seems that such individuals are constantly disorganized. If they can't set a reminder to leave on time, other areas of their lives may be experiencing similar chaos.
