Trainings: good, bad and different
- Hello! We are starting the training - “How to quickly earn 500 thousand rubles”! To get started, answer two questions. First: how much does a ticket to our training cost? - A thousand rubles! - Great. How many seats are there in the hall? - Five hundred! — Thank you everyone, the training is over.
There are plenty of fake trainings like this, throw them out the window. In modern language this is called “selling an information product.” They are conducted by people who are not really knowledgeable about anything except the ability to sell air, empty words and elementary truths. Going to such trainings is just a waste of time. You can recognize fake “trainers” by an unnatural smile, the absence of documents on specialized education and any achievements other than the duped hundred or two clients.
A completely different matter is training aimed at developing certain skills or helping to understand your relationship with yourself and with the surrounding Universe. Some of these classes are taught by real specialists who have their own expertise, extensive experience and scientific degrees. Usually, all information can be verified by searching the Internet for reviews of those who have already completed the training or confirmation of the truth of titles and regalia. In such self-development classes, you can really discover your talents, get rid of complexes that interfere with your life, learn useful techniques and gain new experience.
How to choose the right training program scenario?
- You need to understand your own goals and choose a program that is suitable specifically for them. If you are still a beginner and are just planning to discover trainings, experts recommend starting with the “Basic Course” of the necessary system.
- Make sure of the high competence of the leading psychologist, as well as the reliable reputation of the company;
- Read reviews from people who have completed this program;
- Clarify the set of techniques used in this training;
- Correlate the time, place, format of the training and its cost with your capabilities.
We recommend reading: Tips for developing creativity
Founding Fathers of the Science of Success
Many believe that the emergence of the cult of success is directly related to the so-called American dream, that the American dream is success embodied in money. However, this statement is far from the truth.
The phrase “American Dream” was first mentioned in “The Epic of America,” a weighty book by James Adams that he wrote in 1931. In it, the author writes that the people of the United States have “the American dream of a country where every person’s life will be better, richer and fuller, where everyone will have the opportunity to get what they deserve.”
This pursuit of happiness is the American Dream, and that has always been the beauty of it - it is still happiness.
a much deeper and broader concept than the opportunity to earn more money. The creators of the Declaration of Independence—religious people, by the way—understood this very well.
Why trainings are often useless
Because miracles don't happen. It’s not enough to experience the insight: “This is it! Now I understand what I was doing wrong!” Even if you now know “the right way,” nothing will change. Because knowing is not enough, you also need to DO. But this can be very difficult. In humans, even the survival instinct is not as strong as the desire to do everything “as usual” and not “as is correct.”
And it often turns out that a person wanders through trainings, gaining all kinds of information about “how to do it right.” But he continues to live “as always,” gradually gaining despondency and irritation - “These trainings don’t give anything.” All you need to do is take one step - from theory to practice. From reading the instruction manual to the ON button.
Beliefs that can be heard at self-development trainings
And finally, let's look at the most common false statements that are resorted to in personal growth trainings, apparently wanting to have some kind of motivating effect on the audience. Motivation is, of course, good, but if you take such statements at face value, they can often not only not bring any benefit, but even cause some harm. Now I will show you this with examples.
Lie #1. You can achieve anything you want, the main thing is to want it! Very often during personal growth trainings they try to instill in a person something similar. However, you should not take such statements too literally, because sometimes achieving success requires certain inclinations that someone may absolutely not have.
This can actually lead to serious psychological trauma. Therefore, of course, you need to strive for success, but only by adequately assessing your capabilities. No one can achieve everything, everything, everything.
Lie #2. Changing yourself and your life is easy! In fact, of course not! It’s difficult, and how difficult it is! But the trainers say this, probably, so as not to scare the person. After all, if we tell the truth: serious changes are very hard work, which not everyone can do, then most people will simply immediately lose any desire to change.
Any changes in oneself are always associated with certain sacrifices and leaving the comfort zone that a person had previously created for years. Therefore, as a rule, they are very difficult, and there is nothing easy there.
Lie #3. You can quickly achieve perfection in what you need! That's also not true. It takes many years to truly achieve perfection! The rule of 10,000 hours, repeatedly proven by various researchers, tells us this - it is this time spent in practical exercises that is required to bring the level of mastery in a matter to a high degree of professionalism. Convert these hours into days and years, based on how many hours a day you will devote to the desired task - and see your real time frame for achieving perfection.
If a person leaves a personal growth training convinced that, say, in a month he will become a professional in something and achieve great success, then after this month he will be deeply disappointed. And often it is also accompanied by some kind of losses, for example, monetary ones.
Lie #4. Self-hypnosis and money attraction techniques work! Sometimes during personal growth trainings they can describe all sorts of self-hypnosis techniques and techniques for attracting money based on Feng Shui, esotericism, horoscope, etc. Something like that you need to bury a coin under a money tree somewhere during the full moon, water it and read mantras at the same time, and then wealth and success will definitely come to you. Moreover, they will give many examples of people for whom this really works, including themselves.
Of course, all this is very far from reality. If similar techniques work for someone without any additional actions, this will probably be more of a coincidence than a pattern.
To attract money, you need to earn it in different ways. If you simply repeat the mantra “I am rich” every day before going to bed. Money comes to me. I feel their energy...", etc., without taking any action to earn money - I assure you, this will not give anything. Well, if you don’t believe me, of course, you can try it and see for yourself.
Lie #5. You can repeat the path to success as a coach! Very often, during personal growth and self-development trainings, trainers give many examples from their personal lives, and they can even be quite truthful. They can tell you how they changed their life, how they found their dream job, how they learned to earn money and invest, etc. And what helped them in this.
At the same time, training is often built on the principle “If it helps me, it will help you too!” But this is absolutely not true. The fact is that each person is individual and perceives and reacts to different processes and phenomena in completely different ways. Therefore, what may be a salvation for one may be simply disastrous for another!
In conclusion, I would like to draw the following conclusion, paraphrasing the famous phrase from advertising:
I will end here. I wish you good results in whatever you strive for! See you again on Financial Genius - bookmark the site, there is a lot of interesting and useful information here.
The best exercises for personal growth training
Exercise for personal growth training “Me in the future”
Each participant draws himself in the future. The participants defend their drawing.
Exercise for personal growth training “Syringe”
The purpose of the exercise: to help participants more deeply feel and experience the situation of persuasion, to develop “immunity” to psychological influence.
Every teenager has a natural psychological barrier to drugs, especially intravenous drugs. It is not so easy to decide for the first time to puncture a vein or introduce a substance into the body whose effects are unpredictable. It is at this stage, before the teenager has undergone “initiation”: made the first injection or smoked the first cigarette, it is necessary to develop self-defense skills in him.
The exercise is done in a circle. Instructions: the one who has a syringe in his hands must invite the neighbor on the right to inject himself with the drug supposedly in the syringe; the task of the second is to refuse; 3 attempts are made, after which the syringe is given to the one who refuses, and so on in a circle. At the end, a short discussion is held, those options for refusal that were the most convincing, and those cases when the “tempter” retained a persistent desire to continue persuasion are noted.
Exercise for personal growth training “Suitcase for the road”
The group sits in a circle.
We are finishing our work. Now each of you will take turns placing this chair in front of you (the leader places the chair in the center of the circle). All group members, in the order in which it is convenient for you, will come up to you, sit on a chair and name one quality that, in their opinion, helps you, and one that hinders you. At the same time, we must remember that those qualities that emerged during the group’s work and can be corrected should be named. After everyone has expressed their opinion, the next participant takes a chair and places it opposite him. The exercise is repeated, etc.
Exercise for personal growth training “Color of Emotions”
We choose a driver. The leader closes his eyes as the gong strikes, and the rest of the participants quietly think of some color among themselves; for starters, it’s better to use one of the main ones: red, green, blue, yellow. When the driver opens his eyes, all participants, through their behavior, primarily their emotional state, try to depict this color without naming it, and the driver must guess what color it is. If he guessed right, then another driver is chosen, if not, then the same one remains. So, on command, one player closes his eyes, and everyone else silently guesses the color. Then the player opens his eyes, and everyone else depicts the intended color with their behavior. The driver must guess it. All clear? Attention! Thanks, game over.
Exercise for personal growth training “Taboo”
Purpose of the exercise: to help participants understand how they relate to various types of prohibitions and restrictions. Often, curiosity or the desire to taste the forbidden fruit or the desire to demonstrate his courage guide a teenager in his actions. It’s good when he knows what feelings control him, this allows him to make an informed choice.
The leader places a small box or box in the center of the circle containing an unknown object. “There lies something that is not allowed,” says the presenter. Then he invites everyone to somehow express themselves in relation to this subject. Participants can stand or remain in place, expressing attitude through facial expressions or gestures; they can approach the box, pick it up, look inside - everyone does as they see fit. Even if someone remains in place without doing anything, this will also be a way to respond to the situation. When performing the exercise, it is important to remember that this is an exercise of action, not explanation, so if someone tries to simply verbalize their position, the task of the facilitator is to encourage him to “show” his attitude.
Exercise for personal growth training “Self-presentation”
Goal: inclusion of adaptive mechanisms, development of skills for displaying emotions that contribute to the process of professional adaptation.
1) The trainer invites each participant to talk about himself and about events that are significant to him from the perspective of what caused:
- astonishment,
- interest,
- joy.
2) The procedure goes in a circle and may include an assessment of the self-presentation of the previous participant according to the same “surprise-interest-joy” scheme.
3) At the end of the procedure, you can discuss the results of self-presentation in the group (if necessary).
Exercise for personal growth training “Pessimist, Optimist, Jester”
Goal: creating a holistic attitude of a person to a problem situation, gaining experience in considering the problem from different points of view.
1) The trainer invites each participant to describe on separate sheets of paper in several sentences a situation that causes him stress or strong negative emotions, or a situation that the participant finds difficult to accept. The written story should not contain any emotional descriptions, only facts and actions.
2.Next, participants are invited to hand over their sheets with written stories to the trainer for subsequent work (anonymity is possible).
3. The trainer reads out all the options for stressful situations to the group, and the group selects 2-3 of the most typical ones that are significant for everyone.
4. The trainer invites the group to divide into three subgroups and distributes one story to each subgroup. The task for the subgroups is as follows: you need to fill each story with emotional content - pessimistic (for the 1st subgroup), optimistic (for the 2nd subgroup) and clownish (for the 3rd subgroup). That is, to complete the proposed story and supplement it with details characteristic of a Pessimist or an Optimist, or a Jester.
5.Next, on behalf of the proposed characters, each group reads out its emotional version of the stressful events.
6. After all the situations have been read out and all possible options for dealing with them have been expressed, the coach offers to discuss the results of the game and the real help that each participant received for themselves.
Exercise for personal growth training “What step am I on?”
Purpose of the exercise: to help participants build adequate self-esteem
Participants are given a form with a ladder of 10 steps drawn on it. The instructions are given: “Draw yourself on the step you think you are on now.”
After everyone has drawn, the presenter gives the key to this technique:
— 1-4 steps — self-esteem is low
— 5-7 step — self-esteem is adequate
- 8-10 step - self-esteem is inflated
Exercise for personal growth training “Thrift store”
Purpose of the exercise: - developing skills of self-analysis, self-understanding and self-criticism; — identification of significant personal qualities for joint training work; — deepening knowledge about each other through revealing the qualities of each participant.
It is suggested to play thrift store. The goods that the seller accepts are human qualities, for example: kindness, stupidity, openness. Participants write down their character traits, both positive and negative, on a card. Then they are invited to make a trade, in which each of the participants can get rid of some unnecessary quality, or part of it, and acquire something necessary. For example, someone lacks eloquence for an effective life, and he can offer some part of his calmness and poise for it.
At the end of the task, the results are summed up and impressions are discussed.
The exercise takes 20-25 minutes.
Exercise for personal growth training “But...”
Goal: reducing levels of frustration or stress. Search for possible ways to resolve it.
1) The coach invites each participant in the game to briefly describe on a piece of paper any unfulfilled desire, any current stressful or conflict situation, unresolved at the moment or remembered as difficult to resolve (anonymity of authorship is allowed).
2) Then the trainer collects all the sheets, mixes them and offers the participants the following discussion procedure:
- each written situation is read out to the group and the participants must give as many arguments as possible to the fact that this situation is not at all intractable, but simple, funny or even beneficial using connectives like:
“but...”, “it could have been worse!”, “I didn’t really want to, because...” or “great, because now...”;
- after all the situations have been read out and all possible options for dealing with them have been expressed, the coach offers to discuss the results of the game and the real help that each participant received for themselves.
Exercise for personal growth training “What am I lucky about in this life”
Purpose of the exercise: increasing the level of optimism in life, creating a good mood for work.
Group members are divided into pairs. The presenter offers the task: “For three minutes, tell your partner about how you are lucky in this life. After three minutes, switch roles." After the exercise there is a short exchange of impressions.
Sunday Evening Technique
This technique will contribute to your personal growth and crystallization of interests. If you are “worried” by circumstances, that is, you cannot boast of balance, using this technique can help you. In addition, technology can help you tune in in the optimal way for the coming work week.
Content
The essence of the technique is extremely simple. All that is required of you is to accustom yourself, your loved ones and friends to the fact that Sunday evening is your personal time. Time when you take care of yourself. During this time, you can isolate yourself from people in a separate room. You can go for a walk, go to the park or, say, to the cinema. You can do whatever you want. In fact, the only limitation here is not to be bound by any obligations to anyone this evening. Theoretically, you could dedicate a Sunday evening to spending time with your spouse or child. But one way or another, they will still demand something from you. Therefore, the best thing is to just be alone with yourself, your hobby.
An adult is under very strong pressure from the factor of obligation: he owes at work, he owes in the family, he owes to friends, he owes to acquaintances and distant relatives... And it is likely that under these “slabs” the green shoots of your interests and hidden abilities are ripening. All you have to do is occasionally give these sprouts sunlight... After a month or two, it will be difficult for you to imagine how you used to live without a free Sunday evening.
Role-playing game "Seduction"
The purpose of the exercise: to allow you to explore the situation of “seduction” in a playful way. Participation in discussion allows a teenager to develop a reasoned position and refusal skills.
Two willing people take on the roles of girlfriends who met one evening in an apartment while their parents were not at home. The task of one is to persuade the other to drink alcohol with her, using all kinds of arguments. The other must refuse at all costs. The duration of such interaction is 15 minutes. At the end, the remaining participants give “feedback” to the friend who refuses, in order to highlight the moments that were most successful in terms of defending their position, and what was unconvincing.
In another version of the same exercise, the guy can be the persuading party, but the girl refuses; it is assumed that there is mutual sympathy between them.
During the general discussion, participants are asked to answer two questions:
— Which refusal options were the most convincing for you?
— What inside you helped you refuse?
Return to the main site Personal growth and self-development
{odnaknopka}
| < Previous | Next > |
How to become rich and what does God have to do with it?
The “founding father” of the science of self-development and achieving cherished goals was Wallace Wattles, born in 1860. Coming from a poor farm in Illinois, he was educated in an American country school, where children were taught to read, count and write in the elementary grades, and in the middle grades they were taught geometry and US history. Wattles was an enthusiastic person and loved to read: of his own free will, he became acquainted with the works of Descartes, Schopenhauer, Hegel, Swedenborg, Emerson and many other philosophers.
All this, as his daughter Florence later wrote, led Wattles to reconsider his views on life: he joined the New Thought movement, which was just gaining strength in the second half of the 19th century. The ideological concept of this semi-religious movement was built on one key principle: everything that exists in our world is God or a manifestation of His divine essence.
Wattles, who always had great social ambitions, learned a lot from the teachings of the New Thought and, after losing the 1908 elections for Congress, where he was nominated by the Socialist Party of the USA, he wrote the book The Science of Getting Rich. It was published in 1910, a year before his death, and shows the significant influence New Thought had on Wattles:
And further:
Here's what he thinks about development:
The book “The Science of Getting Rich” was such a colossal success that it made Wattles’ name famous throughout the country, and his work influenced many authors of self-development manuals in the future. Thus, the creator of the acclaimed book “The Secret,” Rhonda Byrne, has repeatedly said that Wattles’ text inspired her. In addition to her, Tony Robbins also praised the book.
Personal development courses
Placebo effect - what is it in psychology
Training is always an active program that involves performing a large number of practical exercises. Personal development courses are more measured and include lectures and group discussions.
Man undergoing psychological test
Courses can be distinguished according to the following parameters:
- Subject. They can be aimed at one area or several: business development, personal relationships, making friends, and so on.
- Format. According to this parameter, courses are divided into closed and open. The first are aimed at people belonging to a certain group, the second - at everyone.
- Source of funding: corporations or individuals.
- Basic tools: some trainings provide development through meditation, others give the task of meeting a large number of people on the street. Still others offer a more severe method - to lie in a coffin for some time. All of them are useful, but some trainings are dangerous for the psyche. Therefore, you need to select them based on your individual characteristics.
- Degree of preparation of participants. Some trainings require developing people to have certain skills, others do not. For a beginner, the second option is preferable. There are tasks given that anyone can complete. This will have a positive impact on the student's self-esteem.
Important! No course or training can guarantee results. It depends entirely on the person himself. They can only provide opportunity. The student himself decides whether to use it or not.
How many trainings do you need to complete to solve all problems?
If anyone else is worried about the question: “So how many trainings will provide me with an easy, problem-free life, a sea of friends and a stress-free brilliant career?” - please read the article very carefully again from the very beginning, because such a formulation is doomed to failure in advance and is tantamount to asking: “How long do I need to run in the morning to achieve the figure of Claudia Schiffer/Antonio Banderos and stay in good health until I’m a hundred years old?” At the same time, everyone understands that to maintain beauty and health, a comprehensive and regular approach to your body and appearance is necessary. The human psyche and personality development do not contradict this rule
Personal development throughout life is no less important than caring for the body. In addition to the trainings themselves (which can really give a wonderful “kick in the ass” for a creative attitude towards oneself and the formation of oneself as a harmonious and positive person), the process of personal growth is also a huge independent work on developing one’s positive qualities and adequate (not derogatory) attitudes towards those aspects of one’s personality that have yet to be understood, accepted and improved
Each person is individual, for some, 1-2 courses and further independent studies will be enough, for others, they will attend several courses and then take a break for a while, and some will attend trainings that are relevant to them as often as they deem optimal for yourself. Various options are possible, the most important thing is to realize one simple truth:
No one will ever solve all your problems for you, without your direct participation!
Communication training
Communication is one of the most important functions of a person, both in the professional field and in all other important areas of life. Communication training, or communicative, is one of the most common socio-psychological trainings. His goals:
- mastering knowledge, skills and abilities of effective communication;
- overcoming communication barriers;
- correction and formation of attitudes necessary for successful communication in various life situations.
The success of communication depends on the willingness to focus on the other person, recognize the value of his personality, and take into account the interests of the partner.
The most important factor in the effectiveness of communication is communicative competence. To develop it, perceptually-oriented communicative training is used.
Personal growth goals
Personal growth goals can be completely different. Such as, for example, the creative development of an individual or spiritual, material and physical.
There can be several goals for personal growth at once, so sometimes you have to improve yourself in several completely different directions at once.
- Developing Awareness
- Time Compliance
- Filling your horizons with knowledge
- Leading a healthy lifestyle
- Using your talents and strengths
Each of us probably wants to have his own special position in society, to be an interesting conversationalist, or to achieve recognition in some field of activity.
How to draw up an action plan?
First, it is important to decide where you want to start personal growth. This could be an increase in potential, an increase in self-efficacy, or the development of useful qualities.
After setting goals is completed, we look for motives for achieving them. We recommend:
1. If necessary, contact a specialist
Sometimes, in order to achieve maximum disclosure of one’s own “I,” the help of a qualified psychoanalyst or trainer is needed. They will help you achieve your results in self-knowledge much faster!
2. Unshackle yourself and drive away bad thoughts
It is quite difficult to achieve something if you are stuck in fears and concerns. Having thrown them away, even the world will sparkle in different colors for your person!
3. Don’t stand in the way of change
Sometimes changes are even for the better, so there is no need to avoid them. Open up to them and accept them with gratitude!
4. Find your motivation to start self-improvement
In most cases, we are driven by strong motivation; having found it, everyone is able to literally “move mountains.”
5. Take action!
Motivational training
Motivational trainings are classified as personal growth trainings, although they are most often used in business to increase staff motivation.
Principles of motivational training (according to O.V. Sidorenko):
- Metaphorical biologization - the use of living energy of natural motives;
- Motivating force - increasing motivation to participate in the training;
- Paradoxicality - the use of play and experimentation with paradoxical patterns;
- Imagery - in-depth understanding and assimilation of material through the use of images;
- Balancing comfort and discomfort - using discomfort as a motivating force;
- Focus on using the results in management (increasing the practical significance of the training.
Who else criticized positive thinking?
There were many opponents not only to the philosophy of success but also to its individual epigones. For example, Everett Leo Shostrom was an ardent opponent of Dale Carnegie and even wrote the book “The Manipulative Man,” which was popularly nicknamed “Anti-Carnegie.”
Shostrom, in the best traditions of Tolstoyism, almost called for inaction as a means of salvation for man:
Modern training gurus also periodically come under fire from criticism. So, in 2005, Steve Salerno released the book “SHAM: How the Self-Improvement Movement Made America Helpless,” in which he seeks to expose the training industry with a global turnover of $8.5 billion.
Emotional Competence Training
Emotional trainings aim to teach a person not only to be aware of his emotions, but also to manage them, and also to understand the emotions of a communication partner. This system of skills and abilities is called emotional literacy or competence.
Emotional competence includes:
- knowledge about one’s own feelings, the ability to name them, determine their strength, etc.;
- developed empathy, the ability to recognize the feelings and emotions of other people;
- mastery of your emotions;
- the ability to recover from emotional losses;
- a combination of all these skills, their integration.
Based on this concept, its author Perry Steiner (Steiner, Perry) developed an original emotional literacy training.
Interesting, popular and effective trainings
Systemic family constellations
This training is also called “Hellinger constellations.” The author of the technique is Bert Hellinger, a famous German psychotherapist. Based on extensive experience working with patients’ problems, Hellinger concluded: the roots of many problems, including problems with women’s and men’s health, failures in personal life or profession and career, lie in the family field, family history.
The session is attended by the client himself, “deputies” who play the role of members of the family community, and spectators. The client places “deputies” in the space of the “family field”, and during the placement, certain hidden, undeveloped problems and complexes are revealed. When the client realizes the true reasons for his troubles and problems, it becomes much easier for him to cope with them.
Countering manipulators
No manipulator ever acts for your good. All his actions are always aimed at satisfying his own needs at the expense of others, be it in everyday life or in business. Mastering the ability to counteract manipulators is useful for everyone, without exception.
At trainings, the coach talks about the hooks that manipulators use to hook their victims, and shows in practice how it works
But most importantly, you will be taught not only how to get off the hook, but also how to not get hooked again.
Self-organization training
Hand on heart, many of us can admit: the path to a correct and healthy lifestyle is blocked by our inability or unwillingness to properly organize our personal time. We do a lot of unnecessary things and do not do what is necessary, because there is no time or energy left for what is necessary. The habit of making plans for the future and following them is common to few people. We love to indulge our weaknesses and this makes us even weaker.
Training on organizing personal and work time will help reveal the causes of failures, deal with disorganization and give you simple tools to put your life in order. You will learn to prioritize and find a balance between work, family matters and leisure. And an ordered life will definitely give positive results for your well-being and mood.
Teenager personality development, group games and exercises
Work with teenagers (All exercises presented are intended for group work).
Exercise “Guess the quality”
Goal: formation of deeper ideas about personal qualities, reflection by teenagers of their own qualities.
Materials: List of personality traits (for each teenager), Dictionary of personality traits.
Progress of the exercise: The psychologist reads out definitions from the Dictionary of Personal Qualities; teenagers, using the list, determine and write down what quality was discussed. Then they rate on a 5-point scale how much this quality is expressed in them. The psychologist reads out the correct answers, and the children check their answers.
Exercise "Synonyms"
Goal: formation of deeper ideas about personal qualities, analysis of one’s own qualities.
Materials: List of personality traits.
Progress of the exercise: The children are asked to formulate the difference between the personality qualities lined up in a row that are synonymous at first glance. The following rows can be used:
- mockery - sense of humor - gaiety - wit
- shyness - modesty - self-doubt - indecisiveness
- sociability - openness - frankness
- compassion - caring - responsiveness - altruism
- impulsiveness - hot temper - straightforwardness
- stubbornness - persistence - firmness - severity
- rationality - prudence - prudence - sanity
- egoism - egocentrism - individualism - self-sufficiency
In case of difficulties, teenagers can be asked to consult the Dictionary of Personal Qualities.
After discussing the differences between these concepts, each teenager is asked to note in writing which of each series of qualities are characteristic of him and which are not. Those who want to speak out.
Exercise "Antonyms"
Goal: formation of deeper ideas about personal qualities, development of communication abilities.
Materials: a set of cards with qualities written on them. Cards with qualities are presented in “triples” - the name of one quality is accompanied by two qualities of opposite meaning. For example, you can use the following “triples”:
- rationality - impulsiveness, emotionality
- compliance - authority, assertiveness
- deceit - honesty, sincerity
- restraint - hot temper, straightforwardness
- dreaminess - practicality, sanity
Progress of the exercise: The psychologist distributes cards with the names of the first (main) quality to a group of teenagers, warning that they should not show their card to anyone. These guys stand along the wall. The psychologist distributes the remaining cards to other children. Next, the teenagers of the first group take turns naming “their” qualities, and the rest determine which of the mentioned qualities is an antonym to what is written on their card, and approach the person who named this quality. In the resulting triplets, each of the “antonyms” must prove to the “main quality” that it is the “true antonym”. To do this, he will have to explain the meaning of all qualities so that it becomes clear that it is “his” quality that is opposite to the main one. The teenager with the “basic quality” evaluates the arguments of the parties and decides who is the “true antonym.” Each trio talks about the results of their work. Others can ask questions or express disagreement. The psychologist evaluates how deeply the children were able to analyze the essence of the qualities they proposed.
Exercise “Teenage Vocabulary”
Goal: formation of deeper ideas about personal qualities, analysis of teenage slang.
Materials: Dictionary of personality traits.
Progress of the exercise: Teenagers are divided into 2-3 groups, they are given the task of jointly remembering as many words as possible that are used in their environment, in teenage slang, to denote personal qualities, to describe a person. The general list is recorded on the board. After this, it is divided into 2-3 parts, and adolescents in the same subgroups make up definitions for these words and find synonyms for them among “normal”, commonly used words from the Dictionary of Personality Traits. As a result, a general discussion of the results of each group is held.
Exercise “Synonym by chain”
Goal: developing deeper ideas about personal qualities, the differences between similar qualities. Materials: List of personality qualities.
Progress of the exercise: The guys sit in a circle. The presenter writes down the quality on the top of the piece of paper and passes it on to the next person. His task is to come up with a synonym for this quality, write it down under the first one, and fold the top of the sheet so that the previous one is not visible. And so on down the chain. The piece of paper is unfolded, the chain of “synonyms” is read out, and a discussion is held. When the quality has changed greatly from the first to the last person, it is advisable to discuss what significant differences there are between each two adjacent “synonyms”. For the exercise, we recommend using the following words: self-confidence, sincerity, temper, kindness, gentleness.
Exercise “Difficult Qualities”
Goal: analysis of the psychological characteristics of other people that impede communication; awareness of the opportunity to use these features for one’s own personal development.
Materials: List of personality traits (for each teenager).
Progress of the exercise: Everyone is asked to write down in a notebook what qualities irritate him most, make him angry in other people, and interfere with his communication with them. All options are written out on the board, from which the qualities that were mentioned most often are selected. The psychologist says that every difficult quality of another person helps us develop some kind of personal quality of our own. For example, in communicating with a phlegmatic or very reserved person, we learn insight, the ability to evaluate a person’s internal state based on minor details. After this, the children are asked to come up with “developmental tasks” for each of the selected qualities. A psychologist helps with this work. Each teenager completes the same task in relation to those qualities that he has identified as difficult for himself.
Exercise “Your own psychogeometry”
Goal: adolescents’ reflection of their personal qualities.
Materials: List of personality traits (5 copies), board and chalk (or Whatman paper and markers).
Progress of the exercise: Teenagers are asked to perform a classic psychogeometric test - choose from the figures drawn on the board (circle, square, rectangle, triangle, zigzag) the one that is closest. Teenagers are united into groups based on the chosen figure. The task of each group is to guess what qualities the people who chose this figure might have (using the List of Personality Qualities). You can focus on what all the guys in this group have in common. Each group presents the result of their work. The rest ask questions and complement. The psychologist reads out the text interpreting the test results.
Exercise “Analyzing ourselves”
Goal: reflection of one’s own personal qualities, resources and limitations, modeling the image of the ideal self
Materials: List of personality traits (for each teenager), Dictionary of personality traits
Procedure: Each teenager receives a List of Personality Qualities. The guys should highlight with one line the qualities that they have, circle those qualities that they would like to develop in themselves, and cross out those qualities that they would like to get rid of. The same quality can be highlighted twice, for example, if the quality already exists, but you would like to develop it, then it should be emphasized and circled. This work takes 20-25 minutes. It is advisable that the children have access to a Dictionary of Personal Qualities so that they can look up the meaning of those qualities that they do not understand. The psychologist invites each student, based on the results of the work done, to draw up his psychological portrait in writing according to the following scheme:
1) My resources, strengths - here you need to write down those qualities that are emphasized as available and at the same time also circled as desirable.
2) My limitations, weaknesses - write down those qualities that are emphasized as available and at the same time crossed out as undesirable, as well as those that are not emphasized, but at the same time circled as desirable (in the formulation “the absence of such and such a quality is my limitation” )
3) Main goals of self-development.
Teenagers submit their work to a psychologist, who, for the next lesson, checks the literacy of drawing up a portrait and the compliance of self-development goals with the identified limitations and resources.
A comment. This work can be continued in the next lesson by drawing up a specific plan for the development of a particular quality and a program for the effective use of personal resources.
You can read more about this issue in the book by E. Lepeshova “Development of the Personality of a Schoolchild”
Exercise: Tea for two
Objectives: Through this fun exercise, teens will be able to think about what kind of people they are interested in, what topics they like to talk about, what they would like to learn from the people they care about, and ultimately, what they can give to others. Age of participants: from 14 years. Duration: approximately 45 minutes. Materials: Worksheet “Tea for Two”. Instructions: Today I want to give you the opportunity to mentally communicate with a variety of people. I have prepared a Worksheet for you to fill out. You have half an hour for this.
Please come back to the circle. Decide for yourself which of the seven people you've chosen you'd most like to have dinner with and tell us about it. Who would like to start?
Summarizing:
•Did I enjoy this exercise? •Was it easy for me to choose seven people? •Who came to my mind first and who came last? •Was it difficult for me to identify what might be attractive to my guests? •What guided me when creating the menu? •Which people make me curious, and how do I satisfy my curiosity? •Who is the most inquisitive in my family? •What did my parents teach me about this? •Would I like to become famous someday? In what field? •What are the advantages and disadvantages of being famous? •Did I learn anything new from this exercise? •What else would I like to say?
Comment: This is a very fun exercise. You can make it richer by giving teens the opportunity to play one or another of your guests. In this case, another teenager should play the role of the receiving party. This will allow participants not only to better understand and feel others, but also to communicate with a famous person and, perhaps, borrow some of his traits.
Worksheet Tea for two
Imagine that you have seven coupons with which you can pay for dinner for two at any restaurant in the world. You have the opportunity to invite any person for every day of the week - he can be a celebrity, or he can just be your acquaintance.
Who will you choose? Start on Sunday and tell us who you would invite and why you would like to have dinner with that person. Tell me what attracts you about your guest. What would you like to know about him? What would you like to learn from him? What could he learn from you? What would you like to talk to him about? Tell me again, where would you like to have dinner and what would you order? Then think about Monday, etc.
Sunday …………………………… Monday …………………………… Tuesday …………………………….. Wednesday …………………………… …. Thursday Friday Saturday ………………………………
Exercise: The People I Need
Goals: We all, to one degree or another, need what other people provide us: certain services, goods, emotional intimacy, exchange of experiences, etc. Sometimes we imagine that we need someone to achieve a goal, but in fact we could do just fine on our own. In other cases, we really need someone, because the relevant “goods” are important to us and we are not able to obtain them on our own, and emotional relationships can only be established between at least two people. This simple exercise helps participants become aware of which categories of people are important to them for one reason or another. Age of participants: starting from 14 years. Duration: approximately 35 minutes. Materials: Worksheet “The People I Need.” Instructions: I would like to use this exercise to give you the opportunity to realize what kind of people you really need. Each of us deals with many people who are important to us to varying degrees. I need some people rarely, some often, and I need only one person all the time: myself. I have prepared a Worksheet for you to fill out. You have 30 minutes to do this. Now stop and return to the big circle. What have you come to?
Summarizing:
•Was it easy for me to identify six main groups? •Am I getting from people in categories that are important to me what I want to get from them? •What values does each of the six categories I have chosen correspond to? •How do I cope with situations when people or categories of people that are significant to me are not around? •Can I be alone sometimes? •What is the most important thing I need in life?
Comment: Make sure your teen understands what values each group of people represents to him. For example, a baker from whom a teenager buys a chocolate bun every morning may be associated more with fulfilling a whim than with satisfying hunger.
Worksheet: The People I Need
Below you will find a list of different categories of people who are quite significant for the world in which we live. Read this list and please highlight those that are important to you. When you do this, put the categories you have chosen into a sequence, numbering them in descending order of importance and putting the corresponding number in brackets.
(...) Artists (...) Parents (...) Pilots (...) Auto mechanics (...) Bakers (...) Cleaners (...) Doctors (...) Pharmacists and pharmacists (...) Oil workers (...) Shoemakers (...) Salesmen (...) Football players (...) Lawyers (...) Actors (...) Musicians (...) Judges (...) Politicians (...) Priests (...) Grandparents (...) Miners (...) Police officers (...) Cousins (...) Psychologists (...) Teachers (...) Peasants (...) Engineers (...) Guardians (...) Livestock slaughterers (...) Nurses (...) Drivers (...) Criminal investigation officers (...) Hotel staff (...) Scientists (... ) Homeless (...) Social workers (...) Prison officers (...) Daycare teachers (...) Restaurant owners (...) Siblings (...) Other relatives (...) Government officials
From the sequence compiled, select the six most important categories, write them down here again and indicate what benefits the representatives of these groups provide you with. Describe the consequences you will face if these needs of yours are not met.
1. ……………………………… 2. ……………………………… 3. ……………………………… 4. ……………………………… 5. ……………………………… 6. ………………………………
Exercise: Things I Need
Goals: A thoughtful attitude towards property is one of the indicators of personal maturity. Since the dawn of mankind, property has been a means of ensuring survival, and at the same time it makes our existence more pleasant. The difficult task of every person is to understand what is worth owning, what his own property means to him, what price he must pay for it, what he must do to preserve this property, and how he can cope with the inevitable risk of possible loss. By doing this exercise, teens will be able to pay more attention to these topics than usual. Age of participants: starting from 14 years. Duration: approximately 35 minutes. Materials: Worksheet “Things I Need.” Instructions: In life, we need relationships with other people and, in a sense, with property. In this exercise, I would like to invite you to pay attention to what things you consider important and what they mean to you. I have prepared a Worksheet for you to fill out. You have 30 minutes to do this. Now stop and return to the big circle. What have you come to?
Summarizing:
•How much did I enjoy this exercise? •Who do I talk to about property? •What is the most important property for my father? •Which one is for my mother? •Do I have enough assets to meet my needs? Or do I have too much of it? Or too little? •What would life look like if each person only owned the three most important things to them? •Which of my friends, in my opinion, has an exemplary attitude towards property? •Who in the group has needs similar to mine? •What else would I like to say?
Comment: You can diversify the exercise: you can invite several volunteers to identify themselves with some objects and speak to the group on behalf of this or that thing. For example, a participant might say, “I am a vacuum cleaner. I swallow crumbs and dirt and make sure that the floor in your room is clean all the time. You don't have to sweep. Press the button and I’ll be ready to take over the job.”
Worksheet: Things I Need
Below you will find a list of things that many people consider important to live, be successful, happy and feel good. Underline those things that you yourself consider important and make a sequence of them, numbering things in descending order of importance and putting the corresponding number in brackets:
(...) Airplane (...) Ax (...) Soccer ball (...) Bed (...) Motorcycle (...) Tennis racket (...) Shoes (...) Broom (...) Calendar (...) Mobile phone (...) Washing machine (... ) Clock (...) Vacuum cleaner (...) Paintings (...) Musical instrument (...) Fishing rod (...) Books (...) TV (...) Own home (...) Tonometer (...) Radio (...) Own room (...) Telephone ( …) Pen (…) Bicycle (…) Shovel (…) Yacht (…) CD/MP3 player (…) Toothbrush (…) Computer (…) Clothes (…) Jewelry (…) Photographs (…) Knife (… ) Car (…) Desk
Now focus on the three most important things and try to briefly describe what they mean to you. When doing so, consider the following questions:
•What need does this item satisfy? •What feelings does it evoke in you? •Where did this thing come from? •What do you need to do to get it? •What price do you have to pay to get it for undivided use? •How would you react to losing her? •What could replace it?
Write down the names of the three most important things here:
1. ……………………………… 2. ……………………………… 3. ………………………………
Epilogue: we have been tired for so long
Not everyone is ready to rush into the pursuit of self-realization, and in general, not everyone wants to interfere in these disputes between coaches, training gurus and motivation specialists.
And this concerns not only direct self-realization: a rebellion against norms and stereotypes has begun on all fronts: the foundations of even the fashion industry are gradually crumbling, which, it would seem, was the last to lose its position, supported by injections of funds from the beauty industry. However, as one famous poet said, “nothing can be held back - not green on purple, not the V-neck of a T-shirt, not the broken edge of an umbrella,” and therefore today body positivity and the cult of “accepting yourself as you are” are triumphantly sweeping the planet.
Active supporters of “healthy egoism”, who call for not giving a damn about the opinions of others and their ideas of success, are gradually appearing all over the world, and their fame is growing rapidly. This time, there are “prophets” in our country: at the end of 2022, the book by psychologist Pavel Labkovsky with the telling title “I Want and I Will” sold 550,000 copies throughout the country - this is almost an unprecedented figure for the Russian market.
From sales to personal growth
In Europe, the fashion for training came after the war: while restoring the Old World, America imported many of its habits to the continent. Initially, it was only about professional and financial trainings - so already in 1946, Hans Goldman conducted his first training in Sweden with the telling title “How to sell more in post-war Europe.” Well, following the Old World, the whole world caught up with the new fashion.
By the way, Hans Goldman later became the founder of one of the most famous international training companies - Mercuri International: it was the company that was the first to enter the Russian market in the 1990s, where this niche was not yet occupied by anyone.
The teaching of success reached its peak—and a new impetus for development—in the 1960s and 1970s, when Martin Seligman’s research laid the foundation for positive psychology. In one experiment, he placed dogs in cages and, after a strong beep, gave the animals a short, weak shock. The dogs couldn't escape him, no matter what they did. Seligman then moved them to other cells, where their activity could save them from electric shock, but in the new cells they did not try to make any effort to protect themselves, only whining after the beep, waiting for the shock.
Neurosis and personal growth
Neurosis and personal growth, what is the relationship? Sometimes life leads us to a dead end, and we give up on doing anything, and we begin to simply “go with the flow,” succumbing to a nervous state, and, even worse, trying not to notice it.
But we can fix everything! If you identify the signs of a personal growth crisis and overcome them. Fortunately, neurosis is quite easy to recognize by its characteristic symptoms:
- Low resistance to stress
- Aggressive behavior
- Vulnerability and frequent tearfulness
- Anxiety conditions
- Focus only on the problem
- Fatigue
- Increased irritability
- Touchiness over trifles
- Turning every little thing into a tragedy
- Severe sensitivity to noise
- Intolerance to too much bright light
- Sensitivity to temperature changes
- Apparent insomnia
- Overexcited state
- Increased heart rate
- Profuse sweating
- Absent-mindedness, lack of concentration
- Sudden changes in pressure
In a neurotic state, all the symptoms will not necessarily appear at once; there may well be 2 or 3 of them. But this is enough to think about ways to combat this terrible illness.
These alarm bells should not be ignored! They are the ones who tell us that it’s time to stop and rethink our lives, so as not to encounter an insidious neurosis.
And if neurosis has already overtaken you, you should not delay eliminating it until it develops into depression or something worse.
In this case, an excellent solution would be an optimistic attitude and decisive actions towards improvement.
