How to manage people - developing a skill for all occasions

Everyone strives to achieve goals, which can be completely different and depend on many factors that determine a person’s life and his personality. In the same way, the methods of their implementation may differ. One person can achieve them only on his own, guided by principles that are ethical in relation to others, with an understanding of which methods of achieving results are appropriate and which ones cross the boundaries of what is acceptable. Another can exert a psychological influence on people and use them for personal gain.

This is called manipulation. It does not always carry a negative connotation, but it is necessary to know what it is, how it is carried out, and what manipulation techniques there are. Firstly, this will help you protect yourself from the psychological influence of others, and secondly, you yourself will learn to use manipulation, because, one way or another, there are situations when it is quite acceptable, which you can learn about in our program “Profiling: Understanding human psychology."

What is “manipulation” and where is it taught?

Let's first figure out what it means to manipulate people. In psychology, manipulation is understood as the process of socio-psychological influence on a person in order to influence his behavior or change his worldview.

This influence is usually hidden. A person, as a rule, does not understand that he performs some actions not of his own free will, but at the will of the manipulator. For example, we are daily influenced by social standards, advertising, political propaganda and agitation, and criticism. Under their influence, most people make appropriate decisions and behave in the way that manipulators need.

The victim of manipulation does not suspect that she is being influenced. She commits actions against her own will and desire. The goal of the manipulator is always to obtain the desired result.

However, these goals are not always bad or selfish. For example, using hypnosis, psychologists help people cope with difficult psychological conditions. Parents influence the child for educational purposes, the teacher applies manipulations to the students so that they learn their lessons.

The art of managing people will help you not only achieve your goals, but also avoid conflicts, recognize the tricks of manipulators and protect yourself from them. Where can you learn this skill? There are 2 ways:

• trainings;
• books.

On the Internet you can find a huge number of trainings that promise to teach you the art of managing people and how to protect yourself from manipulation. Such trainings, of course, are not free. But they will give you unique knowledge and techniques that other trainers do not have. And hurry up! After all, there is only one place left (either registration closes in 2 days, or the 40% discount is valid until tomorrow)!

Most often, this kind of manipulation is used in advertising training that is designed to teach you how to protect yourself from manipulation. How this works is that the user is told the unique value of the knowledge that he will receive in the course, and then he is limited in time to think and make a decision. You're already interested and, of course, you don't want to miss out on the last spot or day or discount.

As a result, you make a purchase. The manipulator achieved his goal. But whether you will get the cherished and promised result is not a fact!

Information on managing people is also contained in special books. Some books can be read for free online. Others will have to be looked for on the shelves in a store or library. Here are examples of such books:

• Sigmund Freud “Analysis of the Human Self and Psychology of the Masses”;
• V. V. Shlakhter, S. Yu. Kholnov “The Art of Dominance”;
• V. P. “The art of managing people”;
• Henrik Fexeus “How to read and control other people’s thoughts”;
• R.V. Levin “Mechanisms of manipulation. Protection from foreign influence.”

Is only theoretical knowledge enough to successfully apply it in practice and psychologically influence others? Or does the manipulator still have to possess a certain set of qualities?

3.1. Power based on coercion

This is influence through fear.
The performer believes that the influencer can punish, deprive the need, or generally cause some kind of trouble. Therefore, through fear, people consciously or unconsciously allow themselves to be influenced. Usually fear is associated with violence, with physical pain. But this is far from the only mechanism of fear. For example, the fear of losing an interesting and well-paid job seems to be common to everyone.

Fear can be exploited so easily and successfully in certain circumstances: hinting at dismissal or demotion usually produces immediate results.

But for a competent subordinate, such rough practices are not so scary. Much more often, the fear instilled in such a subordinate is directed not at his material interests, but at his pride. For example, a casual remark that someone else would have completed such a task long ago is humiliating and can instill fear.

Influence through fear only works if a person violates regulated behavior. Therefore, in order to use such a tool as fear, it is necessary to have a control system.

Research shows that workplaces that use coercive power are likely to have lower productivity and lower quality products.

Characteristics of the manipulator

Among public figures, manipulators to one degree or another include politicians, public figures, famous bloggers, and pop stars. Each of them pursues their own goals (to achieve victory in the elections, to gather a full house, etc.).

Many achieve success by influencing others. All manipulators have the following qualities.

1. Knows how to convince . The manipulator is firmly confident in his position and can easily convince other people. Or, knowingly deceiving the “victim,” he will use all his acting skills and again convince her that he is right. If you want to become a leader, develop the gift of persuasion.
2. Charismatic . This is the ability to create a positive atmosphere around yourself, win people over, conduct a conversation correctly and ultimately get what you want. It's great if you are a naturally charismatic person. If not, don't be upset. We have already prepared an article for you on how to develop charisma.
3. Eloquent . Most famous speakers are manipulators. Watch their performances and pay attention to how they address the audience, how they behave on stage, and how the performance itself is structured. One way or another, every speaker strives to “sell himself,” his product or service, using various psychological techniques.
4. Well versed in human psychology . The manipulator, first of all, evaluates the potential victim from the psychological side. He studies her strengths and weaknesses and assesses her emotional state. Having found a weak spot, he will hit it exactly there to achieve the desired result. At the same time, the manipulator will not risk getting involved with a strong, self-sufficient, harmonious and psychologically stable person.

As you can see, before you start studying methods of managing people, you must first study yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, work on charisma, eloquence and improve your knowledge in the field of human psychology.

Why is people management needed?

Trying to achieve specific goals, people have always looked for different ways to achieve them. In pursuit of knowledge, he noticed that it was possible to influence the psyche of other people, thereby manipulating them. As a result of this, interest in practical psychology arose. When the psychology of people is known, how to manage them also becomes clear.

By applying the learned techniques in practice, we managed to understand how to manipulate people. Psychology, books by famous writers and love for them began to grow. With the help of such knowledge, a person learned to competently manage not only one person, but also entire countries. The application of these skills has been found in all spheres of life and has already changed the fate of all mankind more than once.

Rosalynn Carter, a powerful woman, First Lady and wife of former President Jimmy Carter, once said, “A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader leads people not where they want to go, but where they need to be.”

At this point in life, one can no longer do without practical skills in business and its organization. The success of modern management largely depends on the psychosocial competence of employees and especially in managing an organization. Knowledge and skills are the undoubted psychological basis for effective management. Building and motivating a team, resolving tensions and conflicts, accurately recognizing customer needs—all these activities require knowledge and psychological techniques. The answer to these needs is a management psychology program. The purpose of the study is to understand psychological knowledge and develop the ability to use this knowledge in practice.

Human psychology, how to manage people, also allows a person to develop and plan his career and life path, and to in-depth diagnose his personal predisposition. Through effective exercises and meditations, help those in need who need help. You can view it here.

Manipulative methods can be of a different nature and used for the good or against people. But, one way or another, they are extremely important.

Methods of psychological influence

There are a large number of methods of influencing human consciousness. They can all be combined into 3 groups.

1. Suggestion.
2. Influence on emotions and points of influence.
3. Techniques of intellectual influence.

Suggestion

Hypnosis is the most effective method that has a direct effect on the human psyche. The specialist introduces a person into a narrowed state of consciousness, when it is possible to easily control his behavior and instill some thought or attitude.

This method helps to cope with human psycho-emotional disorders. Only professionals with extensive experience should use this technique solely to help a person, instill in him the correct attitudes and bring him out of hypnosis without harm to the psyche.

Another interesting method of influencing consciousness is neurolinguistic programming (NLP). It allows you to manipulate people using words, gestures and facial expressions. NLP is based on knowledge from the field of psychotherapy, linguistics, and programming.

Despite the fact that the scientific community criticizes this method of influence, such techniques are successfully used and allow one to achieve the desired result. In particular, make a sale, successfully negotiate, obtain secret information from an intractable person, get a promotion at work, win over other people, etc.

Impact on emotions and points of influence

The psychology of managing people in general is based on managing a person’s emotions and physiological needs. In this case, it is enough to simply evoke a certain emotion in a person, which will push him to take the action you want. I will describe the basic emotions that are usually influenced by a manipulator.

1. Fear . Many manipulators use this convenient emotion. They simply intimidate people. They convince him that he will either be punished or lose something dear if he does not do what is required of him. For example, many parents often threaten their child by putting him in a corner or taking away his favorite toy if he does not obey them. Or another example - the manager intimidates employees by saying that he will not give them a bonus if they do not fulfill the plan. This is a rather primitive method of influence, as a result of which the victim will hate the manipulator.
2. Greed . In this case, no special talent of influence is needed. The manipulator simply convinces the victim that she will receive something very desirable, something she has long dreamed of, if she performs a certain act. Many managers use this at work. In particular, they promise employees a double bonus for exceeding the sales plan.
3. Vanity . Self-confident and vain people are practically helpless in the face of flattery, praise, and the approval of others. Simply praising them is enough, and they are ready to make a rash purchase or an illogical act.
4. Envy . Many people are affected by this vice. Activating this emotion is quite easy. The manipulator several times points out to the victim something good that the other person has, but the victim herself does not. And now she compares herself with that other person and begins to think in the direction the manipulator needs.

In addition to these basic emotions, each of us has certain points of influence.

1. Needs . We all strive to satisfy our basic needs in physiology, safety, and we also have ambitions, which are expressed in the desire for career growth and monetary income. Marketers skillfully use this when creating advertising. It is their tricks and correct presentation of information that encourages most people to buy advertised goods and services.
2. Weaknesses . It is rare to meet a person without flaws, addictions and shortcomings. Therefore, manipulators love to play on human weaknesses. For example, excitement, excessive curiosity, self-doubt, superstition and others.
3. Guilt . A person who cannot get rid of feelings of guilt is the favorite victim of many manipulators. Feeling guilty, the victim agrees to everything that the “puppeteer” offers her. For example, some older people blame their adult children for completely forgetting about them. Although children call every day to inquire about the health of their parents, and always visit them on weekends. Unjustified feelings of guilt can prompt the victim (in this case, children) to move in with their parents. But, as a rule, this does not make it any easier for the manipulator. He begins to look for other reasons to blame the victim.

4.1. Influence through persuasion

Persuasion is the effective communication of one's point of view to another.
The manager makes the subordinate believe in the need to do the work independently. He recognizes the qualifications of his subordinate, trusts him as a specialist and expresses confidence that everything will be done on time and with high quality. By using persuasion, the leader tacitly accepts that the subordinate has some degree of power that may reduce the leader's ability to act. In other words, the leader recognizes his dependence on the subordinate.

Conviction influences the fact that it brings to the consciousness of the subordinate the fact that, having fulfilled the desire of the leader, he, as a specialist, satisfies his own need. To persuade, the leader uses logic and emotions, depending on the situation and the disposition of the subordinate.

Some methods of influence through persuasion can be schematically represented as follows:

• try to accurately determine the needs of the subordinate and appeal to these needs;
• speak in accordance with the interests of the subordinate, and not your own;
• When speaking, try to evoke trust and a feeling of reliability.

Techniques of psychological influence

I have selected several techniques and techniques for managing people that are quite easy to master. Many manipulators use them unconsciously. So, by studying these techniques, you will not only learn how to influence others, but you will also be able to protect yourself from provocations and manipulation by other people.

Limiting selection

Do you want to force a person to make a choice in your favor? Then offer him a limited number of options (for example, 2 or 3), each of which will be beneficial to you. Man by nature is designed in such a way that he does not like to complicate his life. Therefore, he will not come up with anything himself, but will choose one of the proposed options.

Showing gratitude

To motivate someone to do you a favor or share valuable information, you need strong motivation.

A gift or a compliment perfectly fulfills her role. Many of us have been familiar with this control technique since childhood, when we heard from our parents: “Come on, you put away the toys, and I’ll give you candy.” And since in my childhood sweets were rare and were given out only on holidays, I rushed to put things in order at the speed of a cheetah, just to receive the promised sweet gift. For adults, such “candy” is bonuses, getting the desired position, etc.

Demanding more

To use this technique, first ask the person for much more than you actually need. Or, for example, ask him to do something very unusual, which he will definitely enjoy.

After a little time, contact him again with a request. But this time, ask for what you really need. This time the “victim” will agree, because the person will be embarrassed to refuse you 2 times in a row, and your second request will seem much easier to him than the first.

State of stress or absent-mindedness

Managing a person who is under stress is very easy. In such an unstable emotional state (depression, fear, depression, despondency, prostration), it is easy to suggest anything to a person. It doesn't matter to him what to believe, he needs hope. Unfortunately, many scammers take advantage of this. In particular, gypsies love to manipulate people who are not in the best frame of mind.

If you want to get a positive response from a person, but you understand that in a calm environment he is unlikely to agree with you, then create special conditions. In noisy places, in crowded places, or when a person is in a hurry, he makes decisions very quickly, without having time to weigh them and think carefully about them. In such conditions, you are more likely to achieve your goal.

Mirroring

Do you want to please another person? Then carefully copy his gestures, facial expressions, and manner of speech. Psychologists have proven that this technique works on a subconscious level and is effective in most cases. People are subconsciously drawn to those who are similar to them.

To continue learning techniques for managing people, I recommend that you watch the following video.

How to learn to manage people?

To learn how to manage people, you first need to be imbued with this desire. A strong desire can in itself direct or lead a person to relevant knowledge. You need to start by studying yourself, your inner “I”, your nature. Learn to manage yourself, as this activity requires a lot of emotional stress and mental investment.

The further goal is to establish contact with people around you, “hook” them using the emotional and psychological component, and earn trust. Study the literature on the topic of human psychology and people management, which outlines management methods and various manipulation techniques. Develop skills and apply all kinds of techniques in practice.

Main tasks of personnel management

1. Determine employee needs.
2. Help you adapt to a new team.
3. Select personnel.
4. Stimulate interest in career growth.
5. Develop the right motivation system.
6. Promote development, both personal and professional.
7. Resolve conflicts.

In business relationships

Manipulations in business communication, their presence or absence, depend more on the professionalism of the employee and his confidence in his abilities. It is difficult to influence a person who knows his own worth. If the employee is incompetent or too shy to emphasize his merits, the employer or colleagues will not fail to take advantage of this.

Common methods of influence in a work environment are:

• ridicule, reproaches; the recipient is nervous, irritated and performs the actions necessary for the manipulator;
• demonstrative resentment is a reluctance to admit one’s point of view is wrong, and the addressee will try to fulfill all the whims of the offended person;
• flattery and support are intended to reduce a person’s vigilance and make him a victim of influence.

Manipulation in business communication can be avoided if you clearly express your opinion (which is obviously correct) and be confident in your professional qualities. During the impact, you can try to interrupt the conversation with a phone call or urgent matter. Even a simple change of topic of discussion will help avoid manipulation.

The mechanism of manipulation development

Why does a manipulative person become the way he is? Some people are manipulators from birth; for them it is a natural psychological trait, and they are not even aware of their capabilities. However, most manipulative people become this way on purpose.

It is common for a manipulator to have a feeling of superiority over other people, but for some reason he is unable to realize this superiority; for example, he is too physically weak for this or does not have the appropriate social status. Having no open ways to get what he wants from other people, he uses deceit and cunning. Manipulators are driven by the highest degree of egoism, when in order to get what they want, they are ready to penetrate even the very depths of the interlocutor’s soul. They treat other people as inanimate objects that they have the right to move as they please.

Without showing respect for the people around them, manipulators, however, are in dire need of them. Without people, a manipulator cannot exist at all, since in itself he is nothing. There are concepts close to manipulation - parasitism, energy vampirism. A manipulator is a real vampire who uses the achievements of others as his own and asserts himself at their expense.

In family relationships

The most common family manipulations are hysterics, silence, demonstrative departure “to mom’s,” partying with friends, and drinking bouts. Psychological influence is used by both parents and children. This is a way to achieve your own benefit by playing on the feelings of others.

To avoid such influences in the family, you should learn to trust each other and openly discuss your desires and actions. Perhaps, at first, conflict situations will be a frequent occurrence. Over time, relatives will learn to calmly talk about their goals and motivations. But there are also constructive manipulations that can inspire a spouse or child to new achievements.