How to support a loved one: universal tips
In fact, finding the right words for a person in a difficult situation is not so easy. Firstly, a person is under stress and perceives even the most ordinary words a little differently than a person who is now doing well.
The word “hang in there” said to a person in normal circumstances, such as before a driver's license test, and the same word said to a person whose close relative has died will be perceived differently. A grief-stricken person does not want and cannot at the moment “hold on” to himself. He wants people to support him and take on at least part of the emotional burden of his problems.
Secondly, the context, tone and mood with which you pronounce certain words are important. Any intonation can distort the meaning, and a person under stress will not even remember that you naturally have a high or low voice and you did not intend to offend him by saying something in a tone different from the average one.
In fact, the words themselves are not to blame for anything, but they can still be perceived inadequately. That is why the problem of how to support a person with words in difficult times is so relevant. Are there any universal formulations that are independent of context and are likely to be understood correctly? Is there any universal model of behavior with people in need of support?
It turns out that there is, and these tips on how to behave and what to say to a person who needs support are also quite universal and migrate from consultation to consultation with slight variations among different psychologists. We will take as a basis the advice of psychologist Yana Filimonova as the most clearly formulated and evoking the greatest response from readers [Ya. Filimonova, 2017].
Top 5 tips on how to support a person with words:
- Be an attentive and active listener, assent and say short phrases like “I sympathize”, “it’s very unfortunate that everything turned out this way”, “really, it’s all very sad.” It sounds, of course, banal, but such phrases make it clear to the person that you empathize and share his feelings.
- Ask if you need help. Of course, a person under stress is not always able to immediately formulate what help he needs. In this case, say that you are in touch, you can always be contacted and you will help to the best of your ability.
- Ask how the person is feeling. In the case of prolonged emotional experiences, a vague “how are you?” is preferable to a specific question, “are you okay?” The very fact of prolonged experiences already indicates that the person is not okay. If the person would like to talk longer, you can ask “how are you coping with this?” If not, it is better not to intrude with questions.
- In a situation where there is essentially nothing to say objectively, you can limit yourself to the phrase “I don’t even know what to tell you, I’m very sorry, I can’t imagine how difficult it is for you now.” Often it is enough that you are nearby.
- Regularly pay attention to a person’s problems, especially if the situation is objectively extended over time (long-term serious illness, prolonged depression).
In addition, Yana Filimonova recommends soberly assessing your strengths. If you are willing to listen to a person for no longer than 5-10 minutes, it is better to be an attentive listener for these 5 or 10 minutes, and then end the conversation with an offer to call you if any help is needed. If you are only ready to listen and cannot provide practical help, it is better to limit yourself to words of sympathy.
Skin Care Tips
Smooth and even skin is an integral part of a beautiful appearance. Get acquainted with useful recommendations that will allow you to keep it in perfect condition.
Use cleansing procedures regularly
. Care includes washing and using scrubs every week. The products remove dead skin particles, resulting in fresher skin.
Clean and smooth skin is a woman’s calling card.
Choose cosmetics that suit your skin type.
. If it is difficult to independently decide on the choice of suitable skin care products, then it is better to consult a dermatologist.
Not all cosmetics manufacturers can be trusted.
Use protective creams and products.
A. Dermatologists do not advise going outside in cold or hot weather without special means. Due to exposure to the sun, pigment spots form on the skin, and due to frost, it becomes dry and lifeless.
Frost and sun age the skin
Wash off your makeup at night
. It is necessary to give the skin a break from cosmetics, otherwise it will be deprived of the necessary oxygen.
Cosmetics dry out the skin with constant use.
Carefully study the composition of creams and masks for the skin.
Many chemicals in cosmetic products cause allergic reactions.
Use natural products to nourish and moisturize your skin.
Wear clothes made from natural fabrics.
In clothes made from synthetic fabrics, the skin cannot breathe normally. As a result, the sebaceous glands become clogged and acne appears on the surface of the skin.
Properly selected clothes will help you look younger and slimmer.
Consult a doctor if cosmetics do not help.
. Skin problems may be associated with internal disorders. And if they are not eliminated, even the most expensive skin care creams will not help.
Anyone who suffers from illness reduces life expectancy.
Include more fatty fish in your diet.
. Omega 3 acids in the product promote the production of collagen - the hormone of youth.
Fish contains 3 times more protein than meat
Make moisturizing face masks from natural ingredients
. For this you can use cucumbers, fruits, oats. eggs, sour cream.
Moisturizing masks give your face freshness and make it look younger.
Don't forget to clean your mobile devices and other equipment that comes into contact with your face.
There are more bacteria on a mobile phone than on the toilet rim
Hair care - useful tips
Dull and greasy hair spoils the overall impression of a person. To ensure they always look healthy, you need to follow a number of tips for caring for them.
Wash your hair no more than 2-3 times a week
. The glands compensate for the lack of sebaceous lubrication by more active work.
The more often we wash our hair, the dirtier it looks.
Do not wash in too hot water, as this accelerates hair loss.
Cold water is hair's best friend
Use wooden combs to comb your hair.
Wooden combs charge strands with good energy.
Do not leave lost strands in crowded places.
. Hair is a powerful conductor of human energy, which is why it is very often used by sorcerers and magicians when performing dark rituals.
The best way to get rid of lost strands is to burn them
Wear hats in cold and hot seasons
. Hair, like skin, is susceptible to temperature irritants.
Hats save hair from falling out.
Get a haircut every 2-3 months.
. Care will accelerate hair growth and get rid of split ends.
Don't save money by going to the hairdresser.
Dry your hair naturally.
Use a hair dryer in extreme cases.
It is better not to wash your hair at night and before going outside,
dye your hair in tones close to natural.
This way the regrown roots will be less noticeable and the strands will look more well-groomed.
Nature has chosen the best shades for us.
Use balms and nourishing masks for care.
. Balms make it easier to comb your hair, and masks give it a healthy shine.
Hair loves gentle care.
Use curling irons and curling irons less.
. You can create beautiful curls without heating the strands.
If hair could talk, it would scream from hot styling
How to support loved ones of a dying person
So how can you support someone whose close friend or relative is dying? In general, all the universal advice from psychologists that we cited in the first part of our material is applicable here.
Let us only add that in the current realities, any serious illness means treatment costs, and considerable ones at that. In addition to words of support and consolation, it is worth “dropping in”, as much as you can, and simply handing it over with the words “we have collected some money, take it, it will not be superfluous.”
And it’s better to refrain from preliminary questions like “maybe I can help with money”? Most people are hesitant and embarrassed to ask for help until the very last moment, when it may be hopelessly late. It is better to show this initiative to the immediate circle of the person whose loved one is dying.
And, of course, people who have lost a close friend or relative require special attention and care.
Life hacks for gadgets
Charge the phone
To quickly charge your phone, put it in airplane mode.
Clear keyboard
Sometimes elusive crumbs get on the keyboard and are almost impossible to reach. You start to turn it over or try to get the debris out with your finger, and the foreign object tends to fall into the bowels of the device. In such a situation, use a sticker. The crumb will stick to the adhesive part, and this will quickly put an end to your suffering.
Find information in the messenger
Many people like to save important information by sending it to themselves in private messages on social networks or instant messengers. So that you don’t have to scroll through your entire correspondence history in search of what you need, think over a system of keywords. Then, for example, you can quickly find scans of documents by searching for the word “documents.”
