What a real man should do around the house

Author: KarabasBarabas

23 July 2022 14:57

Tags: Harmony of relationships, household chores, a real man

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Happiness from living together, as a rule, does not last long and is shattered in everyday life if responsibilities are not distributed in time. Yes, yes, both men and women have household responsibilities that everyone must perform... No, we are not talking about the classic scheme, where the woman is a housewife, and the man lies on the couch and watches TV. Let's talk about how to improve life so that everyone is happy.

What should a real man do around the house?

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This is a question that worries many women, and of course men too. After all, men want to be the best for their ladies. Is not it? Therefore, in this article I will talk about the main responsibilities of a man around the house and will reveal the topic of this very “Real Man”. After all, sometimes this is an ordinary female manipulation. It is important for men, as well as women, to understand their responsibilities in relationships. For example, it is not enough to know that the wife is preparing dinner and the man is doing repairs. Due to ignorance, married couples can suffer for a long time, and then separate altogether. That is, simple ignorance of their responsibilities leads to the fact that the couple ends their existence on a sad note. It’s another matter when both husband and wife know what they are doing at home and why. For them, the family is a single integral mechanism. Therefore, they act not as two independent entities (although this is the case), but as people with a common goal. Therefore, understanding this issue is not only desirable, but, I would say, necessary. After all, having understood these moments, people stop making scandals and quarreling. They begin to see the relationship differently, as a couple moving forward together. They will not exchange their relationships and feelings for scolding over garbage that was not thrown away. This is worth learning and then the relationship will sparkle with new colors. In the article, I will briefly point out the main mistakes people make in this area, describe the signs of female manipulation and talk about how to distribute family responsibilities. And of course, we’ll figure out what a real man should do around the house?

A few final words

It is no secret that from a young age a child absorbs the behavior of his father and mother like a sponge. Having matured, he automatically begins to build relationships with the opposite sex in the image and likeness of the behavior of his parents. A mother will not be able to instill in a girl the idea of mutual assistance between spouses if she constantly takes upon herself the entire unbearable burden of everyday issues. A father is unlikely to convey to his growing son the importance of romance if he gives his wife a frail bouquet of mimosa once a year on March 8th.

The weather in your home may not be ideal. However, a good husband can prevent destructive storms and prolonged rains from entering family life.

Who is this “Real Man”?

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In order to understand today’s topic, you need to understand what a real man is. This term is often used in different sources. For example: on TV, in magazines, on videos, in conversations, and so on. Some people use this term to manipulate, but others really believe in it. What should a real man do around the house? Well, who is this anyway? How to understand “Real”? In the classical sense, the term “Real man” means a man who will solve all problems. That is, we are talking about women's problems and men's problems. Although usually we are talking exclusively about family problems, because this term often likes to be applied to husbands. The funny thing is that whoever uses this term actually believes that there are men who are not real, but who are real. Well, as a rule, the man who does not give in to manipulation is not real. In such cases, this is purely a way of manipulating another person. For example, this method can be used for an unfamiliar man. Imagine the situation: in the supermarket there is the last loaf of bread, a man takes it, and behind him stands a woman who did not have time to take this loaf. She begins to beg the man to give her the loaf, maybe she has small children at home? However, the man stands his ground and does not give up. A woman can say that a real man would always meet her halfway. That is, this is pure manipulation.

The role of the husband in the family

In order to determine the position of a man in the family, let us turn to the origins of the word “marriage” : it was formed by merging the preposition “for” and the noun “husband”. To be married means to be “behind a husband,” which is quite logically associated with the concept . ”

Thus, the fundamental position in marriage is not only to protect the family, but also to act as a financial and moral support .

Manipulation:

Why manipulation? Yes, simply because this is an unfamiliar woman to a man and he doesn’t care about her. That is, perhaps he has his own interests, children at home, a wife, maybe he wants to eat himself? What should a real man do around the house? At a minimum, provide the family with protection and food. Why should he sacrifice something for the sake of an unfamiliar woman? Thus, I prefer to consider this concept exclusively in close relationships. That is, it is absurd to apply this concept to an unfamiliar person. In this situation, other concepts may be suitable, for example: humanity, masculinity, compliance, solidarity, politeness, and so on. That is, something that, in principle, is understandable to every person, but not some term that, perhaps, only this woman appeals to. In the next section I will talk about the responsibility that falls on the so-called real man. I would apply the term “Real man” only to close relationships. Because if it is applied to an unfamiliar person, it looks like ordinary manipulation.

The role of the wife in the family

Now let’s turn to the origins of the word “marriage” : it was formed from the noun “conjugation”. Here it would be appropriate to give an example of another cognate concept - “harness”. What will happen if Siberian huskies, united in one harness, suddenly run in different directions? That's right, the sleds won't go anywhere, or even turn upside down.

Living together is like that same harness. A woman’s task is to competently distribute the load , focusing on the degree of fatigue of both spouses. There is no need to demand complete dedication from a man if after work he only dreams of sleep. At the same time, it is necessary to remind about help in situations when the wife is tired.

A little about the responsibility of a real man:

As you may have guessed, a real man always has some additional responsibility. Solving some problems, questions, difficult situations. Or we can talk about not allowing such problems in relationships at all. Here you need to understand, this is the important point. When a man is entrusted with solving other people's problems, he always needs to receive additional responsibility. That is, for example, if a wife complained that she had some kind of problem, and the man volunteered to solve this problem, then the man himself chooses the method of solving this problem. Why does it happen this way and not otherwise? Simply because if a woman chooses the way to solve this problem, then it will be several times more difficult for a man to solve it. This is how psychology works. To solve a problem, you always need to choose a solution yourself, otherwise it will be very difficult for you, and you will spend much more effort, time and resources. It would be reasonable that if a woman does not like the solution that a man chooses, then the man can refuse to solve her problems. That is, you don’t want it, as you want, that’s all I can offer you. If a situation arises again when a woman does not like the decision and she asks the man to find some other way, then this really begins to look like ordinary manipulation. In modern society, the term “Real man” implies a solution to all women’s problems. That is, a woman lives, gets high, enjoys, and her man solves her problems, you’ve probably seen this in various articles? This is exactly the dream of many women. It is this image that they personify, like a real man.

When you can do nothing

A fair basis for a man’s complete withdrawal from household chores is the opportunity to delegate them to specially trained people , paying for this work without leaving a “hole” in the family budget.

If, as an owner, you hire a cleaner who will clean the house at the required frequency, organize food delivery on an ongoing basis, hire a nanny, conflicts over the distribution of household responsibilities will disappear.

You can stage a “mutiny on the ship” and refuse to do housework if your spouse mercilessly criticizes all attempts to help (the dinner is inedible, the dishes are poorly washed). But there’s no point in rocking the family boat once again: it’s still more productive to negotiate .

A real man solves all problems:

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However, when such a man tries to either manage them a little, or control them, or try to influence them, they are against it. I have already said that a person who solves other people's problems must be endowed with appropriate authority and responsibility, as well as a sphere of influence. That is, his spheres of influence become several times wider and, naturally, in relation to women too. However, many people don't like it. On the contrary, they want a man to solve problems, but not to interfere in some other areas of life. This is such a convenient little man who will create a comfortable lifestyle for you and make your life even more comfortable, because he will not interfere where he should not. That is, there are several fair and correct options here. Either a woman solves her problems herself, and she has a large degree of permissibility, or a man solves all her problems and she does not have any wide degree of permissibility. Perhaps some of you have come across a picture where a man completely provides for a woman. Buys everything she wants, completely satisfies her, but at the same time she builds it. Goes wherever he wants, travels without him and does all the things he wants. I won't even argue, because it's really very convenient. However, this creates great discomfort for the man. Therefore, it would be quite logical that if a woman wants to use the term “real man,” then in relation to herself she should use the term “real woman.” That is, if a man solves all her problems, then he has a huge sphere of influence on her and her life. Situations when, on the contrary, a woman wants exclusively to solve her problems with this man, but at the same time his detachment from her life, testifies only to her selfish intentions. Sit back and enjoy solving your problems.

List of woman's responsibilities

Harmony . A home is not four walls, but a cozy and warm atmosphere. It is created by a woman who could use a couple of spare hands and an extra hour in the day to get everything done.

Cleaning, cooking, ironing, washing – the cycle of work in nature never ends. And it’s all the more offensive for a woman who hasn’t even sat down all day to hear reproaches: “But you’re sitting at home, doing nothing.”

Children . Maternity leave is also work, only the boss is small. In most cases, the woman takes on the responsibilities of raising a child.

A tired dad only has enough energy to read a bedtime story and take his child to the park on the weekend.

But maternity leave tends to end, and the mother has to go to work. And it is difficult for her to cope without the help of other family members.

The right to self-realization . Women’s interests have long been not limited to “church, children and the kitchen.”

They, like men, build a career and replenish the family budget. Business ladies leave home when their relatives are still sleeping, and come when everyone is already in the arms of Morpheus.

It is not easy for them to combine life and work. Therefore, households should be offered several options:

Distribute responsibilities. Every day, each family member has his own task. The husband will vacuum the carpets, the daughter will water the flowers, and the son will walk the dog. Penalties based on age will be applied for failure to comply.
Put off difficult tasks for the weekend. General cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. In general, a typical day off for the average woman.
Create a duty schedule. Make sure everyone learns to clean up after themselves. Even a preschooler can wash his plate or make his bed! What can we say about adult family members who like to live in sloth mode and shamelessly shift responsibilities onto their mother’s shoulders.

So what should a real man do around the house?

Now let's move away a little, let's move on to theory and practice. What should a real man do around the house? I think it’s right when there is a division of responsibilities in a family. Moreover, I consider the obligatory skill of a woman, for example, to cook, to be quite outdated. No, it is, of course, very good to have such a skill. I have nothing against it when a man cooks, if he knows how to do it, of course. If he likes it. I believe that all responsibilities should be shared on shore. That is, so that initially everyone understands what they should do at home. It will be much more convenient. I am now talking about some important significant responsibilities. For example, cooking, cleaning, repairs, raising children. And, of course, it is advisable to build in gender differences. For example, repairs should be done by a man. A woman should cook and do the laundry. But again, if a wife wants to help her husband with repairs, this is welcome. If a husband wants to cook dinner himself, there is nothing criminal about it. That is, such cruel boundaries are not needed here, but still order must be respected. What to do if there are some responsibilities and no one has any skills in these responsibilities? It all depends on what kind of duty it is. If, from a gender perspective, it is customary to assign this responsibility, for example, to a woman, then she can learn this skill. Or she can find a way to solve this problem somewhere else, for example, ordering if it comes to food. But it’s better, of course, even for your own development, to increase your skills and develop them. If the duty from the point of view of gender difference relates to a man. For example, repairs, changing wheels on a family car. Either he learns this himself, or looks for a service on the side.

Exclusively male concerns

No matter how much a tired employee would like to lie down on the sofa in front of the TV after a hard day, he still has to resolve issues that require the intervention of a stern man with golden hands. After all, there are things that simply cannot tolerate women’s hands.

Force Majeure

When the faucet or toilet leaks, the water in the sink does not drain, and a huge puddle appears under the washing machine from somewhere, then the husband comes to the rescue.
A self-respecting hard worker should know what a rubber gasket, cartridge, stopcock and plunger are. Advice:

To be prepared for such challenges of fate, you should acquire a minimum set of tools and accessories (adjustable wrench, screwdriver, hammer, etc.), and also allocate a separate drawer for it.
People working in an office do not have to know how to pour floors, change polypropylene pipes in the bathroom, or install plumbing. But it is still useful to have an idea about the design of plumbing equipment. At least in order to be able to urgently shut off the water before the emergency service arrives, and then thoroughly check the result of the work of hired professionals.

We need to fix it

There are also breakdowns that any male representative can fix:

Paste the wallpaper.
It may not be possible to fit entire tracks “overlapping” or “butting” without special skill, but anyone can apply special glue to a corner of a piece of vinyl that has come away from the wall.
The tiles are coming off in the bathroom.
You can dilute the special solution according to the instructions. The spatula is inexpensive. All that remains is to apply the mixture and press firmly.
Hinges squeak or door locks jam.
You should add a little technical oil to the mechanisms and boldly go to your beloved wife for gratitude.
The socket sparks or melts.
If you know where the power goes out, you can try to solve this problem yourself. In case of failure, electricians from household services will be happy to help.
The lamp does not light.
It’s worth trying to change a light bulb, and then act according to the situation, relying on your technical knowledge or the contents of your wallet.

Such malfunctions help a man feel like a real owner who can easily solve everyday problems.

Wardrobe care

It is acceptable to let your wife tie her tie.
But everyone should iron a business suit themselves. Experienced bachelors know perfectly well what the correct creases on trousers look like and which shirts require gauze. Applying cream to leather shoes and making shoes shine are the sacred duties of a serious leader before going out. In the excitement, it is not forbidden to clean your wife’s boots.

Order in the house, or how to correctly distribute responsibilities in the family

Mutual skills:

Although there are areas in which a man and a woman can acquire skills together. One of the most popular examples is courses for young parents. This, by the way, is not the worst way to solve the problem. Because joint activities only strengthen the couple. It is important to understand here that you just need to find a way to solve this or that responsibility. Since this is all done for the family, the solution to the problem can be thought through together. That's why it really saddens me when a married couple fights over who's going to take out the trash. Again, you can agree in advance that the garbage will be taken out, and from whom along the way there is nothing to worry about. In general, of course, the decision on all responsibilities and their distribution is carried out unofficially. That is, there is no round table and council. It’s just that in the process of living together, the couple themselves gradually come to this. And, of course, sometimes they can somehow correct it.

What should a child between eight and nine years old do?

Between the ages of eight and nine years, a child must:

Wash the floors in the apartment.
Help mom move heavy objects. In particular, furniture.
Prepare the bathroom for bath procedures. Type it without the help of your parents.
Make sure his locker is always clean. And so that all things are in their places.
Choose clothes in the store with your mother.
Know how to fold blankets correctly. Make sure that they take up minimal space in the closet.
Know how to sew on torn buttons.
Learn to cook simple dishes. For example, scrambled eggs.
Know how to put flowers in a vase.
Congratulate relatives on holidays. Give them cards. Write various congratulations.
Prepare all the necessary elements for starting a fire yourself. Light it up with dad.

What should a real man do around the house and how to make him do it?

Sometimes the question arises: how to get the person you live with to fulfill his responsibilities? The question is a little nasty, but you can understand the person who asks it. This is either a wife who plows at home, and the men neglect everything else. Or a man who works hard at work comes home and it’s dirty, there’s no dinner, and the laundry hasn’t been washed. It is clear that there will be outrage. There is no way without this. It is very important here to understand that this is the sphere of activity of another person. It is impossible to somehow influence her, force her, force her. You can talk to the person about this and find out if something happened to him. However, don’t even think about yelling at him, causing a scandal, or criticizing him. This only makes things worse. Remember that when you try to get something out of a person, he can give it to you, but his desire will be even less. Therefore, it is impossible to force a person, but there is a reasonable method. 1. First, you must continue to perform your duties. Because if, in response to his indifference, you stop doing what you should do, negativity has arisen towards you. 2. Secondly, once you can talk to the person and find out what the reason is? This way, the person will understand that you are not happy with this. Otherwise you wouldn't have started this topic. 3. Third, you will need to cool down. Because if a person quits fulfilling his duties, then this is a slap in the direction of your family. This means that they spit in your direction. You can’t turn a blind eye to this, so you will need to distance yourself. In other words, cool down. Only this should be done not as if it were an insult, but as if it were a natural reaction to a person’s behavior. Why is this happening? You also need to pay attention to why this situation arose. Perhaps an imbalance has arisen in your relationship, and the person has stopped receiving the emotions that were there before. In such a situation, he really may not have the desire to do housework. Therefore, what you need to read here is not about how to force someone to do something. And about how to return a person’s love for himself. That is, these are more serious problems, like the lack of a normal economy. If you see that after a while your distance has not helped, then the distance must be made, either more stringent, or break off this relationship. Because, as a rule, this signals that they have completely lost interest in you. Mutual family responsibilities are not just rules, they are a contribution to joint relationships. That is, a contribution to another person too.

Reanimate clothes

It is still better for the average person to have their clothes altered and hemmed in a studio. It’s just that a specialist who deals with dozens of trousers a day will clearly cope with the task better than an amateur who does this once every six months. And uneven stitching can significantly spoil the impression of the item.

But everyone should be able to sew on a button or repair a split seam. It's not difficult, you just have to try it. For example, here's how to manually stitch a hole along the seam so that everything looks perfect on the outside (the hardest part here is making sure that the stitches are the same length):

This is how the seam will look inside and out. Scroll to read instructions. Photo: Natalya Kopylova / Lifehacker

Insert the needle at point 1 and bring it out at point 2. Photo: Natalya Kopylova / Lifehacker

Go back and insert the needle at point 3 - halfway between points 1 and 2. Bring the needle to the left of point 2 at a distance equal to segment 2-3. Photo: Natalya Kopylova / Lifehacker

Continue in this manner until you have sewn the entire seam. Photo: Natalya Kopylova / Lifehacker

This is what the finished seam will look like if you stretch it slightly. Photo: Natalya Kopylova / Lifehacker