How to be friends correctly - 5 ways to become a best friend -

Write real handwritten letters to your friends

With all the electronic communications going on these days (Facebook, Email, Twitter, text messages), a handwritten note can really make an impression. Firstly, you just don't see them like that these days, so the email will really stand out in your friend's inbox. Secondly, the fact that you took the time to find a card, write something by hand, and then mail it shows how much meaning is contained in it.

You don't have to send cards or letters all the time for it to be an effective way to improve friendships. Look for these opportunities:

Thank you card . She will show your friend how much you appreciate her gift.
Condolence card about your friend's problems . It could be anything: a difficult time at work, problems with a child, difficulties in marriage, and the like.
A note of encouragement . Is your friend trying to lose weight? Find a new job? Find yourself a new love? No matter the occasion, a handwritten note with a sincere compliment or support will show your friend that you are with her in spirit.

“Just like that” card . Think about how touching it will be for your friend to receive a card that simply says, "Hey, I haven't told you in a while, but I really appreciate our friendship."

What to talk about with a friend after a quarrel: how to improve friendship?

It happens that you quarreled with a friend, you want to continue the friendship, but you don’t know what to talk about. First of all, you need to maintain an attitude as if nothing happened and not dwell on old grudges.

To start a conversation, you can choose one of three ways:

Write a greeting via SMS or social networks.
Come up with a reason to call and dial her number. For example, ask her for the recipe for the delicious salad she treated you to last time we met.
Visit her with some goodies if you know that she is definitely at home. Call ahead and let her know. Tell her you want to share the news with her.

So, you've taken a step forward. To overcome the awkward feeling that will probably arise at the beginning of a conversation, you can choose what topic to talk about with your friend from one of the topics suggested below:

Praise some detail from your friend’s appearance: hairstyle, clothes, manicure, etc.
Ask about her progress in her hobbies or at work.
Ask about her child's development.
Reminisce and discuss a positive moment from your friendship.
Voice a trick that always amuses you and your friend.

It may not be possible to regain your friend’s affection right away, but at least you will take the first step. To avoid adding fuel to the fire, avoid the following topics:

Discussion of the subject of the quarrel.
Don't impose your opinion.
Don't talk about her partner's shortcomings.
Gossip.
Any topics that cause negative emotions in a friend.

We advise you to read: How to cheer up yourself and others

Remember, if you don’t want to lose your friend, then don’t repeat past mistakes.

Be active in communication with friends

When people are busy, they often think of friends only when they need something. And this is not the right solution to the question of how to be friends correctly. The problem is that this behavior makes it look like you don't really care about your friend. Instead, you just want to be with her when it suits you.

There's nothing wrong with asking your friend for a favor, but make sure you're actively maintaining your friendship first. Call people to find out how they are doing, send an email, or simply write on their wall on Facebook or VK. Communicate with your friends regularly so that they understand that you are a sincere person.

Essential Qualities for a Good Friendship

Let's look in a little more detail at the qualities that a person needs for a good friendship.

Goodwill

Kindness is the ability to see the good in a person. A friendly person is open to new acquaintances, knows how to support and help, and emphasizes the advantages of his opponent. Also, benevolence implies the ability and desire to selflessly help others.

Peacefulness

This is the opposite of conflict. Please note that this is not about hushing up contradictions, but about the ability to compromise, listen and hear the other person. Some people conflict for the sake of conflict and look for a reason to “get into trouble” with someone. A peace-loving person does everything to prevent conflicts, for example, defuses a tense atmosphere with a joke, behaves tactfully and chooses expressions, and looks for a unique approach to each person.

Note! Peace-loving people reserve the right for themselves and other people to make mistakes, and know how to forgive and apologize.

Lack of selfishness

Nobody wants to be a tool in the wrong hands. But egoists are friends only for this purpose: they use other people to satisfy their personal needs and interests. In order to be a good friend, you need to be able to care and think not only about yourself, but also about others. It is important to take into account the interests, needs, desires, and experiences of another person.

Devotion

This is what makes friendship different from other relationships. Loyalty is the ability to be faithful even in difficult periods of life. A good friend does not refuse help, even when he himself is feeling bad. He does not refuse a person if he has done a bad thing or said something rashly. A good friend understands everything and stays with his friend until the very end.

The right way to be friends is to give meaningful gifts

Think about the gifts you give to a friend. Gifts don't have to be big or expensive to nurture your friendship. In fact, it's often the smallest but most thoughtful ones that are the biggest hits. Pay attention to the details of your friend's life to find what she will really appreciate. Here are some gift ideas for your girlfriend:

Items that bring back memories for both of you, such as tickets to an event, a fun book, or gift certificates to a favorite restaurant.

Anything that helps a friend deal with everyday matters can be an excellent gift. Things like an offer to babysit a child, a book of simple recipes, or an offer to help at the dacha.

Homemade gifts are great if you're giving something your friend really wants. If you are a needlewoman, then a handmade hat or knitted scarf. Or you can make a memorable photo journal or scrapbook, or sew a couple of pillows for her apartment.

Topics for conversation with a friend

Girls need girlfriends for many reasons. You can chat with them about women's topics, go shopping, find support, motivation, etc. Communication with a new, best, school friend, a young mother or an interlocutor who has another company is different. What topics to choose in each case?

With a new friend

If you have only recently become friends, then it is much more difficult to find topics of conversation that are interesting for both of you. First you need to find out what preferences your new girlfriend has. After this, you will be able to navigate the topics.

What questions should you ask first?

What are the parents' names?
Are there any sisters and brothers?
What genre of music do you prefer?
What kind of movie do you like to watch?
What cafes do you go to?
What animals are there at home?

Usually, discussing pets is a good start to communication with a new friend. If you love wildlife, you will easily find a common language with your interlocutor, regardless of which animal she prefers.

Show respect to your interlocutor and do not discuss with your new friend issues that interest only you. Otherwise, you can forget about continuing communication. Remember, people love to talk about themselves. So try to ask more questions. When you ask something, choose questions so that they do not have a monosyllabic answer. Examples of open questions:

What is your favorite time of year and why?
What subjects did you study at university?
What do you do in your free time?

By talking about yourself in more detail, your new friend will feel sincere interest from you. This will strengthen the budding friendships. When choosing a topic, it is important to monitor the reaction of the interlocutor. If she evokes negative emotions in her friend, then you need to smoothly move on to another direction of the conversation.

With my best friend

You only need to take away the good and bright from communicating with your best friend. Talk about light, beautiful and interesting. Forget about topics related to financial and family problems. Options for conversation topics:

Face and body care.
Dish recipes.
Creativity, handicrafts.
Growing flowers.
Any new interests and hobbies (dancing, fitness, etc.)

Give your friend sincere compliments, even for small things. Don't see her as competition. The exchange of positive energy has a beneficial effect on feminine strength.

With a friend I haven't seen for a long time

Once you were good friends, but then you got a job, got married, gave birth to children and gradually the communication stopped... But now you and your old friend are corresponding again, calling each other or running into each other on the street and making an appointment. What can you talk to her about in this case?

Typical women's themes. They are interesting to all girls. Shopping, fashion, flowers, children, housekeeping... Among this variety, it is not difficult to find a topic that will captivate both of you.
Memories. This topic will be more relevant for you, because it can be difficult to start a conversation right away. A common past unites you. You will begin to discuss the time when you studied at school or college, and in the process you will definitely find several topics to talk about.
News. If you know information about the latest events in the world, then perhaps your friend knows them too. Then it will be interesting to exchange opinions about some news.

With a friend from another company

If you and your friend have different social circles, then most likely you will talk on walks alone or on social networks. Examples of conversation topics in this case are:

Movie.
Fashion industry.
Sport.
Change of image of one of the friends.

In addition, you can come up with an interesting commentary on the situation. Look around and you will definitely notice something interesting. Examples:

This room is absolutely amazing!
I love this party!
The view from here is impressive!

You will achieve the best effect if you combine the phrase with an open question. For example: “I like your bag. Where did you buy it? Your friend will probably be happy to tell you all the details of the purchase.

With a married friend and a young mother

There are factors that can alienate a friend, and one of them is marriage. The reason for this is a change of interests and a rare appearance in the general company. If she has a child, the problem of communication becomes even more acute. A young mother has very little free time.

You need to understand that a friend is a close person. She is now in a period in her life when she is completely absorbed in family troubles. She will be far from social events and will begin to talk about what is especially dear to her now - about her baby. It is possible that your friend will not feel the boundaries, but it is important for her that you listen to her. Who, if not your friend, should you tell about the changes that have happened in your life?

The conversation can take place over the phone, on social networks or in real life, but be patient and forget about selfishness. Listen to the new mother, and then gradually begin to direct the conversation to old topics that were close to you before the new period in her life. Yes, she has less time, but her attitude towards you has not changed. Consequently, topics for conversation will arise quickly.

You can become an assistant for your friend who will bring her up to date with the latest events. In the future, she will be grateful to you for not letting her fall out of social life. You can tell her the news every day: