Stages of development of relationships in marriage

Psychologist Paul Tournier said: "I have been married six times - all to the same woman." Tournier explained that he never got divorced, and his marriage gradually moved from one stage to another.

All healthy marriages experience changes and transitions from one stage to another. This is what develops them. The stages of family relationships are classified differently by different scientists, but there are still common features for each marriage.

What periods do spouses go through in marriage?

A marriage union is a union of two people who want to share all the joys and hardships and build a future together. But people are fickle: over time, their values, dreams and aspirations change, and at the same time their attitude towards their significant other and marriage in general. Once loving people suddenly begin to grow cold towards each other, look for love on the side and soon get divorced. Others manage to save their family and revive forgotten feelings.

Throughout their life together, partners go through several stages of development:

honeymoon euphoria;
awareness;
opposition;
revaluation;
cooperation;
middle age crisis;
happiness to be around.

All families go through each stage differently. This largely depends on age, personal qualities, financial situation, religious, national and other factors. Even in the same family, stages can occur at different times for each spouse - for some earlier, for others later. The outcome of each of the periods of their married life will largely depend on how valuable marriage is to people.

Common causes of intra-family conflicts

Marital relationships are often accompanied by various kinds of misunderstandings. It may be caused by the following reasons:

partners have a low level of psychosexual compatibility;
one of the spouses does not feel respect from the partner, his self-esteem is infringed, and any important needs are not satisfied;
lack of care, love, attention, etc.;
egocentrism of husband or wife;
lack of mutual understanding in matters of housekeeping, raising children and other abstract issues;
dissimilarity of hobbies, worldviews, lack of common values and guidelines.

Family relationships can be influenced by external factors. For example, the process of alienation can be facilitated by the constant employment of a wife or husband, instability of financial situation or its sharp deterioration, lack of own housing, etc.

The dynamics of family relationships may depend on what stage of development the marriage is at. During periods of crisis, the number of factors influencing the development of relationships increases.

Stage #1: Honeymoon Euphoria

This period is the most intense emotionally. Spouses do not skimp on showing feelings, attention and affection. Especially if the newlyweds got married while in the stage of falling in love. They enjoy each other and the new sensations they get from spending time together.

At first, a man and a woman are absorbed in each other, and not in everyday problems. For both of them, everything happens for the first time: joint holidays, parties and much more. They try on new roles: a woman - a keeper of the hearth, who enjoys caring for her husband, a future mother; a man is a breadwinner and a strong support.

During this period, the desire of a man and a woman to be together is dictated mainly by physiology. Being in a state of euphoria from the action of endorphins and other love hormones, the spouses do not yet notice each other’s shortcomings. At the same time, everyone strives to show themselves in the best light, sometimes demonstrating qualities that are not at all inherent to them. With this behavior they risk misleading their significant other, which is fraught with quarrels and problems in the future.

Advice for newlyweds during this period:

Take a break from each other. Even if you still haven’t gotten bored of each other and are ready to be together all day long, take short breaks. Let your significant other go on a visit without you - this will not harm the relationship, but will only strengthen it.
Listen to the advice of your elders. An outside perspective will not hurt, especially if it comes from a person who is friendly and competent in this matter. Young people often commit rash acts in the heat of the moment, later regretting it. The older generation always looks at things soberly and can predict the further course of events.
Learn to respect each other. Passion will pass sooner or later, so your relationship needs to be provided with strong support in advance. This could be friendship or basic mutual respect. If this is not the case, the marriage is doomed to failure.

The honeymoon phase can last from several months to a year. Everything is individual and depends on many factors, including the psychological maturity of the newlyweds and their willingness to create a strong and healthy relationship.

Psychology of relationships between men and women

The formation of a family is a unique, complex and lengthy process, which is unique in each family.

People start families at different ages, have different education, income levels, professions and living conditions, everyone has individual family histories and a different number of children…. However, there are general patterns in the development of marital relationships. This pattern is the life cycle of a family, which consists of stages in the development of marital relationships.

But, before we explore these stages, it is useful to think about the question: “what is the development of a relationship in a couple : why is it necessary and how can this happen?”

Every married couple faces various challenges during the course of their lives. For example, you first need to socialize your relationship, then learn how to run a joint household, get along with relatives, then children appear and grow, the professional activities of the spouses develop, their personal needs change, etc. The appearance of various tasks for a married couple is actually the conditions in which relationships develop. This continuous variety of tasks creates the need for negotiations, agreements, and sometimes conflicts between husband and wife.

The length of time spent at each stage varies widely. In the case of personal immaturity of the spouses, the first stages can drag on for several years and even end in a break in the relationship, but for mature people who consciously enter into married life, they often slip through almost unnoticed. The development of family relationships can slow down and even stop for a while, and can be progressive or regressive. If spouses look for and find ways to solve the problems facing the family, then the relationship develops, but if this does not happen or one person is always responsible for solving problems, then the relationship is destroyed.

The transition to each new stage means a transition to a new level of complexity and is accompanied by crises, which is why these crises are called normative. crises are a natural, normal, and, moreover, necessary phenomenon. Sometimes this transition can be extremely difficult, painful and alarming, but for many couples it happens smoothly, and then psychologists say that the crisis passed without a crisis. In society, the concept of “crisis” often has a negative connotation – it is something that people try to avoid. In fact, a crisis is a request for development! And you just need to look for the means to move forward. Wonderful domestic psychologist L.S. Vygotsky said: “Crises are not temporary, they are the path of an individual’s life.”

I. So, the first stage in the development of family relationships is the stage of attraction (often this coincides with the premarital period of a couple’s life). This is the romantic stage, the stage of falling in love, during which young people show their best sides to each other, trying to make a positive impression and hide their shortcomings. Even when shortcomings are not hidden, they are often ignored by the other half and are not regarded as an obstacle to further relationships. During this period, illusions may be formed regarding the partner and the creation of an implausible image of himself. For example, a woman may take a man’s courtship as a manifestation of his ability to care, but in fact the purpose of these manifestations was to impress the girl she liked. A woman, for her part, can also do things that are not always typical for her in everyday life: please a potential groom with delicious dinners, treat his parents politely, not pay attention to his weaknesses, be soft, tactful and cheerful in communication, etc. .

But, over a long period of acquaintance (1 year or more), people get to know each other better. Relationships with your partner become more sober and critical. But, if, despite this, the desire to be together does not disappear, then a decision is made to start a family. The first stage comes to an end under the influence of a crisis of confrontation with responsibility. A need arises: to accept responsibility for continuing the relationship on a more serious level or to recognize the need for a break.

For example, a man and a woman (work colleagues) dated for several years, during which the woman waited for a proposal, and the man did not dare to make one. The woman was very worried about his indecision and was even ready to break off the relationship, despite her feelings. As a result, the transition to the next stage was facilitated by other work colleagues who, at a corporate event, posed the question point blank: “When is the wedding?” Such a push was enough not only for the man to respond, but also for active action on his part. The wedding took place quickly.

II. Taking responsibility for further rapprochement and development of relations, the spouses move to a new stage - the stage of confrontation. At this stage, further recognition of each other occurs, no longer with loving eyes in rose-colored glasses, but with a realistic look with a fair amount of criticism. The spouses say: “the blinders have fallen from my eyes,” “I saw your true face.” This stage often coincides with the time when a couple begins to live together. Each partner has his own life experience, habits, and stereotypical attitudes that he brings from his parental family and previous experience. The clash of incompatible views and the inability to reach agreement generate tension in the family system.

The reason for the failure of marital relations at this stage is the discrepancy between the marriage and each other’s expectations. Having started their life together, the newlyweds are surprised to discover that their chosen one is very different from the image created in their imagination.

During this period, a deeper acquaintance with each other’s relatives and friends occurs, which can “add fuel” to the fire of marital conflicts. Therefore, as a necessary element of the family system, it is necessary to gradually build clear boundaries between the family and the outside world and establish rules for their interaction. Without this it is almost impossible to move on because... the constant interference of friends and relatives of each spouse destroys the fragile family peace, setting the spouses not to get closer, but to move away from each other. Family psychologists are well aware of the fact that if only one family member comes to a psychological consultation, then even a specialist will find it difficult to resist supporting his point of view on the conflict situation. An objective view can only be born in a joint discussion of the current problem, and it is better not to mix all one-sided subjective opinions into tense relations.

The crisis of this stage is difficult not to notice, because it is associated with the egocentrism of the spouses and their inability to find compromise solutions. At this stage, without conflicts, it is difficult to be sincere in your attitude towards certain tasks, and sincerity is an important element in the further development of relationships. Therefore, in each couple it is necessary to develop various means of normalizing relationships - patience, dialogue, a sense of humor, intimacy, joint leisure, the ability to give gifts, a reasonable break from each other, etc.

For example, one married couple with two rather large children and 20 years of married life had to return to the stage of confrontation after 20 years, because... it was missed and the relationship could not move forward. This happens when one of the spouses completely agrees with the lifestyle that the other offers. Often this is not due to the fact that “everything is fine,” but to a person’s poor understanding of himself and his needs. As a person matures, becomes more self-confident and socially successful, he may develop personal needs that do not coincide with the views of his other half. And it is very difficult for the second spouse to find the strength to make changes and compromises after such a long period of stable life. So the stage of confrontation begins, 20 years late.

III. Having gone through this crisis, the spouses move to the stage of compromise. The confrontation ends sometimes gradually, and sometimes abruptly. Sometimes, after another conflict, a person suddenly realizes that, no matter what, he does not want to lose his soulmate, and is ready to make concessions and offer solutions. Over time, an understanding of each other appears, which steadily leads to the unity of the couple. The degree of spiritual closeness between spouses increases.

If at the previous stage family boundaries were built, then at this stage the formation of a family role model occurs. There have been several family models throughout history: matriarchy, patriarchy and egalitarian family. We will not go deeply into the study of these models; we will only say that the modern urban family gravitates towards an egalitarian model of relationships, in which both spouses have equal privileges, rights and responsibilities.

The distribution and acceptance of new roles streamlines life in the family, relationships become more constructive. During this period, spouses begin to better understand and respect each other. A clear understanding comes that copying the parental family in a new relationship is unproductive and pointless. The joint construction of a new family begins, unlike anyone else, with its own rituals, traditions, customs and tastes. The pinnacle of this stage is stability in relationships, which depends less and less on foreign external influences.

This stage can be quite long, but it also ends in a crisis if an intuitive understanding comes that for the development of relationships, simply orderly and organized family life is not enough. Rigidity in family relationships and rigid consolidation of roles leads to a loss of emotional energy and creates conditions for boredom and routine to flourish. But there remains an incompletely realized need for depth and meaningfulness in relationships.

“Everything seems to be fine, but something is missing,” one of the spouses often says on the eve of the third stage crisis. “Something needs to be done - either give birth to another child, or change jobs...” Sometimes a seditious thought may even appear: “Shouldn’t I start a new romance?” If such experiences of one spouse are not indifferent to the second, then the transition to the next stage will soon take place.

IV. Passing this crisis helps the couple move to the next stage in the development of marital relations - the stage of a mature marriage.

The more fully the spouses’ ability to decenter to each other’s position develops, the more fully the spouses’ ability to decenter to each other’s position is revealed. It is then that the other person is accepted as he is. The formation of a mature marital “We” is taking place. Moreover, this “We” becomes such an important member of the family that the spouses pay special attention to it and burden it with separate tasks. At this stage, the formation of a family system or family as a system occurs. In such a system, all social tasks are distributed and solved by family members in a very orderly manner, and much attention is paid to the internal climate of the family and interpersonal relationships. The level of feelings of the spouses for each other here has greater depth, strength and constancy than at the stage of falling in love (although at the stage of confrontation there may be a feeling that the old feelings have been lost and will not return). At this stage of the relationship, the source of strong feelings in a married couple can even be those situations that at the beginning of the relationship destroyed them, for example, solving everyday problems, overcoming the problems of raising and improving children, housing problems, etc. Spouses want to be together more and share with each other any events and experiences.

At this stage, conflict in relationships practically disappears. Spouses no longer quarrel or sort things out - they talk, or, in extreme cases, argue.

But time passes and the understanding comes that in addition to “We,” there is also the “I” of each spouse. Those. Each spouse still has some potential that is unrealized within the framework of this “We.” Thus, a crisis is brewing in the need for personality development of one, and more often (which is typical for those who have reached this stage of the relationship) of both spouses.

V. Acceptance of this need for personal development takes the spouses to the next stage - the stage of experimentation with independence. Often this stage coincides with a midlife crisis. Here, the direction of the spouses’ energy towards personal growth is no longer perceived by them as a painful obstacle to the development of relationships in a couple. Moreover, there comes an understanding that the breeding ground for the development of relationships is the personal development of everyone. Spouses can spend less time together, and if this separately lived time positively fills one spouse, then the other experiences no less satisfaction. This is the time when people can sincerely rejoice at each other’s successes.

When there is a stable, strong “We”, and the “I” of each spouse is also actively developing, there is still food for a crisis. The crisis of this stage is due to the fact that the relationships in the couple become constrained by intra-family tasks - there are too few of them for such a powerful association as “We”. A request appears to search for the scope of the relationship.

VI. The last stage - the stage of “renaissance” (rebirth) of marital relations begins when the creation of deep mature relationships ceases to be the goal of a married couple, but becomes a means for something more. No matter how pompous it may sound, we can say that the relationship in a couple at this stage is approaching the realization of its life mission - i.e. the highest meaning of their creation. As a rule, this meaning lies beyond the boundaries of the family and is socially significant.

Surely you have met such married couples in your city, and maybe among your relatives. These are people with whom it is always pleasant to be around, regardless of their age and type of activity. Their relationship carries a powerful charge of warmth and kindness. For many people, such couples are the cultural standard of marital relationships, therefore such relationships perform an educational and even educational function. They are very close to the fairytale dream of childhood: “they lived happily ever after and died on the same day.”

These are the kinds of difficult and exciting events you can live through by investing in the development of your marital relationship. This is not the only path to self-realization in life, but it is a path that allows you to live life with an increasing sense of love in your heart.

Stage #2: Awareness

Soon the riot of hormones stops, the love veil gradually subsides. The partner is now assessed not as an object of desire, but from the point of view of personal interests. During this period, the spouses seem to get to know each other again, discovering new, sometimes unpleasant qualities in each other.

Falling in love passes, which means there is an opportunity to soberly assess the situation. Partners begin to realize themselves in the role of spouses, and not just lovers, and this causes conflicting feelings. At this stage, it becomes clear who is ready for family life, and who still needs time to get used to the new state of affairs. The grinding of characters and the first serious quarrels begin.

To make family life easier during this period, do not forget about a few things:

Talk. In a calm, relaxed atmosphere, explain to your partner. Don't accumulate anger and resentment. Voice your desires rather than expecting your partner to read your thoughts.
Try to approach everything with humor. This will help smooth out the corners and lead to the desired result more quickly.
Don't get hung up on the little things. Analyze the situation before drawing conclusions. Think about whether everything is as serious as it seems.

This period turns out to be a turning point for many couples. If partners, despite everything, can maintain tenderness and warmth, it will be easier for them to avoid crises in relationships.

Stage two, satiated: everything is calm in Baghdad

At this stage, the spouses are still satisfied, they are still rocking on the waves of bliss, but these waves gradually subside, leading to complete calm. The partner’s shortcomings are not yet annoying, but the advantages no longer cause crazy delight, they are taken for granted.

This is a very comfortable stage of the relationship, but this is where the danger lies - the spouses begin to get bored of each other. At the same time, trying to artificially, strainedly rekindle feelings with renewed vigor is hardly worth it - if you go too far, you can only speed up the approach of the third stage.

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Stage No. 3: counteraction

The negative sides of your loved one begin to appear more clearly, and the positive qualities recede into the background. If previously partners were afraid of offending each other, now they can easily criticize or make claims against their spouse. There is a realization that the loved one is not ideal, and the marriage may have been a mistake.

The reason for this behavior often lies in a person’s selfishness, his inability to take into account the interests and position of other people. Often one of the newlyweds places certain hopes on the course of their married life, guided by their own desires and dreams. When expectations are not met, disappointment sets in, which is projected onto a loved one, provoking quarrels and mutual claims.

Some tips to help you cope with the difficulties of this stage of a relationship:

Don't look back. Perhaps hot hugs and passionate kisses will remain a thing of the past, but you should not regret them. A completely new spectrum of positive emotions and feelings awaits you. You just have to be patient.
Don't limit each other's freedom. If there is no reason to doubt or mistrust your significant other, there is no need to complicate the relationship.
Don't get personal. Try not to insult each other or point out flaws. This behavior does not motivate a person at all, but only worsens his attitude towards you.

This stage is a turning point for many families and reveals all their weaknesses. It begins a year after the start of married life, but can begin earlier. This period is critical for many couples, since the future fate of the union depends on its outcome.

Periods of family relationships. Stage five

The fifth stage of development of family relationships represents the period of true love. This is not at all the love that was present between people initially. Then a man and a woman loved each other for beauty, kindness, sexuality and so on. And now they love not with their eyes, body or mind. Now they love with their souls. And not for anything, but just like that. The first feelings implied receiving something, the feelings that exist at this stage are self-giving. This is unconditional love, based not on physical union, but on spirituality.

During this period, the relationship between the spouses becomes warm, careful and extremely reliable. There is no rejection of anything in them. The husband and wife look at each other's mistakes with loving irony and understanding. Now it is unlikely that they can seriously quarrel. Minor squabbles are possible, but they no longer play any role in the fate of the family. This is more of a game than a desire to prove something to your soul mate. From now on, there is no need to prove anything at all. Life itself did everything.

Actually, this stage is the true purpose of creating a family. But in order to come to him, you have to go through a lot. For some reason, we believe that happy family relationships are similar to relationships during the courtship period. They must certainly contain flowers, gifts, passionate kisses, confessions... And if all this disappears, we decide that love has passed and rush to file for divorce. Then a new object of passion appears, with whom everything happens according to the same scenario. A third, a fourth arises... We despair and bury the hope of creating a strong, happy family.

The whole point is that we expect eternal, inspiring lust from family relationships. Many of those who are dissatisfied with their marriage are convinced that it is unsuccessful because “the husband stopped carrying in his arms”, “the wife stopped trying to look very impressive.” But life is dynamic! It is constantly changing, forcing relationships to change. You can't carry your wife in your arms all the time. We also need to do something else. You can’t always look impressive in your husband’s eyes. You also need to hang around in the kitchen, wash, clean, sleep, in the end.

Moreover, even if a woman manages to be a stunning beauty around the clock and moves around the house exclusively in the arms of her husband, there is no guarantee that the marriage will not fall apart. Firstly, monotony is tiring. And secondly, in almost any family, even the happiest, there are periods of crisis. What are they usually like?

Stage #4: Reassessment

If a couple decided to continue their journey together, despite the difficulties of the first years, it means that a reassessment of values has occurred in their worldview. They have come to terms with the fact that everyone has qualities that are unacceptable or unpleasant for the other, and they are trying to put up with this or seek compromises.

During this period, it is important not to forget the following:

You must have common interests. The most important of them is building a strong family in which harmony and love will reign.
Don't dwell on your partner's shortcomings. If you have made the decision to stay with this person no matter what, there is no point in continuing to complain.
Be tolerant with your loved one. Irritation and rudeness are incompatible with love.
Try not to sit still. Go to the cinema, theater, go out of town, travel. New experiences refresh and strengthen relationships.

If at this stage a child appears in the family, this helps the partners to switch gears and start life from scratch if there were problems in their family before. Of course, with the birth of a baby, new worries and problems will arise, but it will be easier to solve them if we do it together.

Periods of family relationships. Stage four

The fourth stages of family relationships are a time of mutual respect. It takes on a strong fundamental form and serves as the basis for all the actions of the spouses. What was perceived as an unpleasant task at the beginning of the marriage is now done easily, from the heart. Empty reproaches and irritation have disappeared. There was a desire to please your soul mate as often as possible. Well, if not to please, then at least not to upset.

The husband and wife have already experienced a lot together and have become dear to each other. They automatically adjusted to the interests of their partner and accepted him as he is. The relationship became easy and relaxed. Any problems are resolved jointly and quickly. Gatherings with friends and girlfriends are no longer interesting. Preference is given to spending time with close people.

Overall, this is a very favorable stage. It’s just advisable to pay special attention to your intimate life at this stage. It becomes monotonous and, as a rule, not very frequent. This is not surprising. Because husband and wife are more friends than lovers. For some, of course, this is quite suitable. However, the lack of meaningful sex is fraught with serious dangers. Often, it is for this reason that strong, prosperous marriages break up. We are only human, and if tempted, we can easily lose our heads. And temptations with insufficient intimacy in the family are a dime a dozen.

Therefore, at the fourth stage, spouses should try, as much as possible, to diversify their sex life. Otherwise, there is a chance that they will not reach the fifth stage of relationship development.

Stage #5: Collaboration

During this period, the spouses begin to function as a single integrated system. They have a lot in common: children, interests, goals. Therefore, a strong family connection is established between them. Life and attitude towards marriage as such are improved. At this stage, the spouses again feel attracted to each other. I want to be closer to my partner, to feel his love and attention to myself.

Some tips to help strengthen your relationship even further:

Bring freshness into your relationship. Experiment, try new things, get out of your comfort zone. Don't get hung up on household chores.
Don't isolate yourself. In pursuit of career and personal growth, do not push your own family into the background. Set your priorities correctly.
Look after yourself. Pay attention to beauty and health. Refresh your look, change your hairstyle, style, sign up for the gym.

A time of stability comes when spouses have learned to find a common language and avoid conflicts. This period can last for many years until the spouses are affected by a midlife crisis.

Peak relationship

Retirement age. The moment when you need to completely rebuild your life, adapt it to a new order. Divorces at this stage are very rare. At this time, mutual assistance becomes important. Spouses must find a new place in life through interesting activities and broadening their horizons. It is vital to maintain positivity in relationships to maintain perspective.

This is exactly the path that many couples have to overcome. Crises await everywhere, so the harmony of relationships becomes of great importance. Spouses need not only passion, but also true love, a willingness to accept a person as he is.

Stage #6: Midlife crisis

By the age of 40–45, many people involuntarily think about the transience of life and begin to rethink it. They begin to analyze the years they have lived and often feel dissatisfied with what they have done, regretting what they did not have time to do. This is the time when children have grown up, a career has been built, and life turns into a monotonous series of weekdays and weekends.

The psychological state during this period is often aggravated by illness, death of loved ones, and one’s own failure. The couple begins to move away from each other. Often during this period, affairs on the side and even divorces occur.

To survive a crisis, a couple needs to:

Support each other. Everyone must go through a midlife crisis, one way or another. Give your partner time to get through this difficult period. He needs to know that you love him and feel for him.
Find new reasons to be happy. This could be trips abroad, an interesting hobby or a pet.
Learn to enjoy life.

Don’t look back, accept a simple truth for yourself: if fate turned out this way and not otherwise, then it was necessary.

First crisis - young family

The first crisis awaits the young family. It is not for nothing that the year since the wedding is popularly called the “Cintz wedding,” which implies the fragility and vivid diversity of the spouses’ relationship. The dissimilarity of characters, habits, and principles create a kaleidoscope of happy moments and “grinding” quarrels. The same phenomena occur in civilian families. Sometimes this cycle stretches to five years.

What happens more will determine what the exit from the first crisis period will be. Negotiations and agreements are the main weapon at the stage of a developing family in order to achieve harmony. If you manage to find compromises, learn to smooth out contradictions, stop in time when anger begins to speak, not reason, help each other, and not infantilely shift responsibilities, then family life will transform into a new quality.

Stage No. 7: happiness to be around

When the spouses have already gone through a lot, tested the strength of their relationship more than once and still decided to stay together, it means that they have moved on to the last, most important stage in the development of their relationship - the stage of love. Now they are driven not by simple physiology, but by deep affection and devotion to the one who has been there all these years, with whom they shared joys and sorrows, who can be called the closest and dearest person.

A happy marriage is not just luck, but the result of long and hard work of two loving hearts. At times, spouses will feel relationship fatigue, tension, and even disappointment. This is normal, because they are grinding in their characters and adapting to a new way of life. Everything changes, and the dark streak will pass, the crisis will end and a period of happiness and love will begin.

Relationships between husband and wife in the family

The family begins from the moment of marriage. The foundation of marriage is considered to be love and sexual attraction to a specific person. Over the years, feelings are wasted and the content of life is work, fulfilling a couple of necessary duties, responsibility, joys and difficulties.

A harmonious family will not arise on its own. It requires mutual respect. And if this is not the case, then quarrels, squabbles, and dissatisfaction with each other begin in the family, which ultimately can lead to divorce. We must learn to live in marriage. If you don’t learn to be smart, your new marriage will turn out the same way as the first.

Men often lack diplomacy when solving family problems, so they provide this opportunity to women. A woman's way of thinking allows us to better navigate raising children.

Determining readiness for family life

Before entering into an official marriage, partners should study the ethics and psychology of family life, and for this you can read the relevant literature or consult a specialist. This will allow you to avoid making mistakes that many make in a legal union, and also make sure that you are really ready for this serious step. You need to understand that to create a harmonious and functional union, it is not enough to simply reach puberty.

In the psychology of family life, there are three criteria for the maturity of a couple to enter into a marriage. These include:

maturity mental, physical;
social maturity;
readiness for marriage, ethical and psychological.

A person who is mature at the mental level is able to look at things soberly, can be self-aware, and knows how to build relationships with others. Potential spouses must understand the need to provide mutual assistance, as well as to separate material and everyday problems.

If we talk about social maturity, then it testifies to a person’s education, the ability to provide not only for himself, but also for the family that he created. To do this, he must have a stable job.

The readiness of the spouses at the psychological level is characterized by awareness of the concept of “we”. It lies in the fact that the husband and wife begin to have common interests, they begin to relate to parenthood in the same way, and their perception of spiritual values also becomes the same for both of them. However, you need to understand that the personal “I” of the partners in this case should not be violated either.

The basics of the psychology of family life help to get rid of the conclusion of ill-considered marriages, as well as those created by partners who are not ready for it.

Family crises and how to avoid them

The relationship between spouses, moving from one stage to another, experiences crises.

The first crisis begins with mutual irritation associated with the partner’s shortcomings and unfulfilled expectations. Overcoming the problem will require time, patience and a commitment to developing relationships.

The second turning point is related to the lack of trust in the couple. This usually leads to the husband's aggression and the wife's secrecy. The more often a man shows anger, the more a woman withdraws into herself. The fair half needs to be able to give explanations to the spouse, and he needs to try to listen.

The next crisis is based on pettiness and stinginess.

Usually a man displays such qualities when he feels that his wife is moving away from him and subconsciously does not want to spend money on her. Against the backdrop of the husband's greed, the wife tends to deceive, which only aggravates the problem. The psychology of family life in solving crisis problems indicates the need for understanding and the ability to sort things out through a calm conversation.

Male behavior is different from female behavior; usually the husband strives for freedom, and the woman wants to be married. Sometimes solving a problem requires an individual approach, but it is impossible to do without taking into account the fundamental rules.